Title: A Bond |BTS Fanfiction| by Agustwinter
Source: Feedback request
Genre: Fanfiction
Subgenre: General fiction
Fandom: BTS
Mature: Y (blood, death, gore, graphic descriptions of violence, loss of a loved one, mental health issues, murder, strong profanity)
LGBTQIAP+: N
Status: Ongoing
First impressions: 36/40
Digging deeper: 81/100
Final thoughts: Complete
Note: Reviewed the first seven chapters only per author request.

Clicking the "External Link" button below the "Continue to next part" button will take you straight to the book, or click the link in the inline comments here. → 

*****

First impressions total: 36/40

Title: 10/10
So, when I first saw this title, I automatically thought of James Bond. And I knew right away that was an incorrect impression, because the cover and the blurb made that very clear, but that's where my mind went. Do with that info what you will. But, anyway, it's such a great title for this book, because the family bonds are already so strong right at the start of this book, and when "family" expands to include more members, the bond is still there, tenuous but gaining in strength thanks to a very solid foundation.

Blurb/synopsis: 7/10
I love short blurbs, and this builds from the title and cover to show the beauty in simplicity. The hook may not be the strongest one out there, but it's a different kind of hook from a gripping action story. It's more like a gentle call than a shouted order, and for a potential reader looking for a more laid-back story, that's perfect.

A few little grammar notes here: In the first sentence, there's a missing "the" before "bond." I'd probably switch the first "among" to "between," just to further enhance the imagery of something shared that ties siblings together. In the next sentence, it feels like you could be referring to the siblings or the bond, and either way, that changes things a little. If you're referring to the siblings, I'd change "it's" to "they're." If you're referring to the bond, I'd change "blood-related" to "a blood relation."

Also, after the last sentence, I immediately think of Lilo & Stitch, which is a much more appropriate thought for this story than James Bond. As of chapter seven, anyway. 😉

Cover: 10/10
This is a great example of complexity in simplicity. You don't need a flashy, colorful cover, and especially for the theme of this story, you don't want one. The off-white background and simple black used in the graphics and font lends a gentle, calming feel to this, and while the collection of various flowers is far from simple, the snippets from a garden could represent the varied personalities that make up a family. Everybody's different, and those differences can bring them together to make a beautiful whole. The simple cursive for "A Bond" seems to blossom right from the flowers, and your name is clear but unobtrusive. Overall, gorgeous.

First chapter (and everything that came before it): 9/10
Disclaimer: I'm a huge proponent of content warnings, so I love to see that. And the note about characters being rude and acting stupid is very fitting after chapter seven. Well, they're not rude there, but boys will be boys, won't they? 😉

Awards: I always skip these when I'm reviewing, just so they don't influence me, but kudos! This is a great story deserving of commendation for sure.

Summary: This is where I wonder if my James Bond thought wasn't entirely off base. It's a really interesting concept you've set up in the story: students by day, mafia by night. They're like reverse super-heroes. That could certainly throw some kinks into the formation of a new blended family.

Prologue: I like how vague this is. Almost anything could be happening in these two scenes, although there is a distinct impression that these are first meetings between unknown people. With the context of having read past this, I can tell that the first scene is probably right before Ms. Hwang's first meeting with the boys, and the second is Areum's first meeting with Sang Yeob. But as a new reader, all I knew was you'd piqued my interest, which is what you want a prologue to do.

1: I really love how you introduce Areum and the Bangtan. She's a smart, shy, introverted girl; they're a group of handsome, smart boys who rule the school in a borderline gang-like fashion. Her reactions in this chapter and later on are really adorable. She's so unsure of herself, and I can just feel her mental freak out when Namjoon sits by her in the library for the first time. And then she practically short-circuits when Seokjin joins them. She's such a relatable character.

You also do a great job of hinting at the dark underbelly of Bangtan's world—the intimidation factor, the disappearances for days at a time, the rumors and hearsay. Areum is the picture of a wholesome, innocent good girl, and I now have all sorts of theories running through my mind about why they choose to hang around her in this chapter, beyond the clear explanations posited in the comments later on in the story.

Grammatically, this is really good. It's been a while since I first started reading this, thanks to awards and judging eating my life (to be referred to as The Time of the Great Judging *shudder*), but I think you've cleaned it up really well. There were a few things I found on the re-read for typing up this review, and honestly, I was just mentally smacking myself for not noticing them before. A new thought I have, especially with all the internal dialogue happening later in the story, concerns how you can set thoughts apart from the story (a new thought for thoughts 😅). And it's really simple. You could just put thoughts in italics instead of single quotation marks. Either way is fine, but I personally think it's easier to distinguish between italics and double quotation marks at a glance than single quotation and double quotation marks, if that makes sense. And you'd still follow the same rules for dialogue, just without the quotation marks.

I wish I could disappear, Areum thought, shrinking in her seat.
"You can stay," said Namjoon.

That kind of thing.

Also, I'd just like to say how positively adorable this whole chapter is in light of chapter seven and the preceding chapters in the restaurant. 🥰

*****

Digging deeper: 81/100

Cover & title: 10/10
See "First Impressions" feedback.

Blurb: 3/5
Only because of the SPAG errors. Without that, I'd probably say a 4/5. See "First Impressions" feedback.

Grammar & voice: 5/20
There are fairly frequent SPAG errors, but nothing major, and nothing that detracts from your voice or the story. You have mastered changing the narrative voice based on the central character perspective. Areum, Ms. Hwang, and Seokjin all sound different, and that continues in the following chapters as we get a closer look at each of the boys.

Plot & pacing: 10/10
This has a nice, laid-back pace, but it's not dragging at all. You're taking the time to really allow the reader to meet each character and familiarize themselves with the setting. The major plotline of two families becoming one is obvious from the start, and as I've said before, you're really good at maintaining this underlying tension of the secret mafia connection, subtly reminding the reader at the sweetest, most adorable moments that the boys aren't your typical students.

Characterization: 20/20
Many people struggle to create unique, complex, believable characters, especially as the number of characters grows, but you don't. Areum, Bangtan, their parents—that's ten central characters, all introduced early on. They're all distinct from the start, and they drive the plot. My impression of Areum as an adorably shy, innocent girl is apparently an impression shared by Bangtan, who has been scouting her out since they learned of her relation to their father's new girlfriend. The insight provided by Seokjin's inner commentary about Namjoon's first (and very intentional) meeting with her says a lot about the boys' close-knit group and their suspicions of outsiders, and his reflections about how Namjoon's continuing interactions with her show that she not only passed the sniff test, but he actually likes her. And is already protective of her, like she's already his little sister.

One thing that's really interesting about the dinner where Areum finally meets the boys is the clash of her self-image with their impressions of her. She lacks confidence in herself, but they respect her and openly praise her to her mother before they've even introduced themselves to her. There's also the clash of her preconceptions about them, based largely on rumor, with who they really are. They smile. They're polite. Namjoon pulls her chair out for her. And they also kick each other under the table, because they're brothers, and that's the kind of stuff brothers do. They place bets on her reaction to meeting them. Okay, she doesn't know about that, but again, this speaks to how much they already know about her and how normal their sibling relationships are.

Of course, their bets involve hundreds of dollars (or some other currency), which isn't exactly normal for most students, nor are their...shall we say, extracurricular activities?

Ms. Hwang is such a great mother. I joked in the comments that other authors create the male love interest everybody wants, but you've created the mother everybody wants. She and Sang Yeob love each other, but they love their children more, enough to reach the mutual decision that if the children disapprove, they'll split it off. They've dated for three years without the kids meeting, just waiting for them to be ready. And the respect they've given their kids is given back to them. The description of Taehyung opening up to Ms. Hwang was beautiful from her perspective, and then we got Seokjin's memory of the same event, colored with all the shades of gray inherent in the background, and it was even more beautiful. She and Areum are the light and the warmth the boys are missing, and she is a huge reason the boys accept Areum so readily.

That and probably a thorough background investigation, but you know. 😉

All the characters get physical descriptions, of course, but that isn't the highlight. The highlight is their unfolding personalities, their positives, their negatives, their quirks. A real person is a lot more than their appearance, and so are these characters.

Harmony within genre: 15/15
Well, it's a BTS fanfiction, and BTS are central characters, so, yes, check that box. 😉

You weren't sure about the subgenre on the request form. You listed teen fiction, adventure, and slice of life, and as of chapter seven, I'd say teen fiction and slice of life are pretty accurate. Well, maybe young adult, since Areum is in college. Or just general fiction for now. That's all-encompassing, and there's no one element that jumps out at me saying "I'm this genre!" or "I'm that genre!" But we'll see if that changes as the story progresses.

Originality: 20/20
This is the first BTS fanfiction I've read that isn't a romance (or has a heavy romantic element), and that's refreshing. I mean, I get why romance is the go-to, since they're a group of seven handsome, talented men with varied but generally positive personality traits. But making them Areum's future step-brothers just allows such a different exploration of their characters. I know they aren't actually mafia (I hope, anyway). But I also know fairly consistent personality characteristics across many stories by many authors probably means those are parts of the real people's personalities, and showing that through platonic relationships is a lot different from showing it in a romance.

So, I've said your characterizations are on point, and it's so easy to relate with these characters, which makes it so easy to engage with the story, but I'd like to add that your descriptions are also fantastic. They're understated, without flowery imagery or paragraphs of lyrical prose describing the exact shade of so-and-so's eyes, but they're perfect for this story. The settings are clear and easy for the reader to envision, and you incorporate all the information about the world, the school, the education system, the characters' backgrounds, etc., into the text instead of shoveling it out in huge info dumps. That way, it doesn't break the flow of the story, and it's easier for the reader to memorize and digest.

Also, I feel like these first few chapters, at least, could be a how-to guide for single parents looking to date and potentially marry or remarry. If you have kids, this is what you do, people! It'll be so much smoother if you do!

But as sweet as these first chapters are, there's no way the boys will be able to keep Ms. Hwang and Areum from finding out about their secret double life. And while that will definitely overwhelm and terrify our adorable little Areum, I can't wait to see some overprotective brother action going on. 🥰

*****

Final thoughts:
Areum is a normal girl who wants to live a normal life. She keeps her head down, stays out of trouble, studies hard, and generally avoids confrontation—especially with the infamous Bangtan at school. Her more pressing concern is making a good impression at the dinner where her mother's boyfriend of three years will finally introduce her to his seven sons. Family is of the utmost importance to the dating couple, and she appreciates the respect and consideration they've given their children. So do the boys—who happen to be Bangtan. The bonds within the two families are strong, but the parents have laid a strong foundation for this blended family to work. Of course, secret mafia ties may complicate matters...