When I become hopeless, its so hard for me to look up again. I close myself off, hoping to protect myself from even more pain.

But instead of protecting myself from more pain, the pain that is already present within me becomes louder, and stronger. Until the thoughts become so loud that i can hear nothing except them.

When this happens...my eyes become clouded and sad, seemingly lifeless. A smile wont light my face up anymore. Things that always used to make me happy, no longer raise my spirit.

The pain begins to feel like an ocean with no land, no boat, no life raft. All that is left to hold onto is the water. Soon the water begins to suffocate me. My chest becomes heavy, my heart beats slower and slower.

My vision becomes blurry as the tears flow from within me. This is when I hide myself. I seclude and isolate myself. Only once I feel I am safe, do I finally allow the tears to fall.

Once the tears begin to fall, my soul has given up fighting to stay afloat, and lets the sea of hopelessness consume her.