December 7, 1980

It was finally snowing again in New York. The skies were dark, the white dust covering everything in it's path...it was perfect weather to stay indoors and stay warm with the boys.

I sat on the living room floor putting together a puzzle with Max and Sean. William finally taking his afternoon nap. I laughed as the boys argued over a puzzle piece. John entered the front door, cursing to himself and grunting.

"Merry Christmas!" He yelled in a deep voice. The boys got up and ran to see John with a Christmas tree. It wasn't too big. Probably my height...which wasn't very tall.

"Merry Christmas to you too." I giggled. "What's the occasion?"

John gave me a sarcastic smile and placed the tree by the window. Max and Sean jumping up and down as I brought out some lights.

"Mommy can we decorate the tree!?" Max asked happily.

"Why don't we let the lads do it? We'll make it a tradition." John wrapped his arms behind me and whispered in my ear. "Besides, we can always fix it when the little ones are in bed."

I laughed, shoving him playfully. "You're so bad Lennon. Okay then. Go on."

The boys went crazy with the lights and ornaments while John warmed up with me on the sofa. I brushed the light dust of snow out of his hair and stroked the side of his cheek while he watched tv.

"John?"

"Hmm?" Not taking his eyes off the television.

"Look at me." I whispered. He turned his head and looked into my eyes. I smiled, leaning in and kissing him.

Our lips moved together. Tongues circling, hands in each others hair. My lips became swollen by the time he pulled back. We just looked into each other's eyes and got lost in the moment.

The was until we heard a crashing, followed by 'Uh oh's'.

..

10:56 pm

"I get high when I see you go by

My oh my

When you sigh, my, my inside just flies

Butterflies

Why am I so shy when I'm beside you?"

John set his guitar down and took a drag from his cig.

"Rubbish song innit? I never liked it." He shrugged. I put my journal down and crawled off the bed, sitting beside him. He handed me his cigarette, watching me inhale.

"I like it. It was always one of my favorites." I smiled.

"You're soft. It's rubbish."

"It's beautiful. Finish it." I said kissing his cheek. He sighed, grabbing his guitar and began strumming.

"It's only love and that is all

Why should I feel the way I do?

It's only love, and that is all

But it's so hard loving you

Is it right that you and I should fight

Every night?

Just the sight of you makes nighttime bright

Very bright

Haven't I the right to make it up girl?

It's only love and that is all

Why should I feel the way I do?

It's only love, and that is all

But it's so hard loving you

Yes it's so hard loving you, loving you"

He turned looking at me and smiled. I blushed and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Now sing that lovely song, I'm looking through you." I giggled. He made a face.

"I don't sing Paul's bloody granny love songs."

"I like them." I blushed. He smiled at me sarcastically and turned his guitar around, doing his best Paul impression. I burst out laughing and nudged his face away from me. "Okay stop you're ruining the song."

"I never thought I'd hear that. How can a Beatle ruin a Beatles song?"

"You know what I mean mister know it all." I stuck my tongue out at him. He laughed and shook his head.

"I got one. Hush." He pressed his finger over my lips. I giggled and watched as he went on.

"Whenever I want you around yeah

All I gotta do

Is call you on the phone

And you'll come running home

Yeah that's all I gotta do

And when I, I wanna kiss you yeah

All I gotta do

Is whisper in your ear

The words you long to hear

And I'll be kissing you

And the same goes for me

Whenever you want me at all

I'll be here yes I will

Whenever you call

You just gotta call on me, yeah

You just gotta call on me

And when I, I wanna kiss you, yeah

All I got to do

Is call you on the phone

And you'll come running how

Yeah, that's all I gotta do

And the same goes for me

Whenever you want me at all

I'll be here yes I will

Whenever you call

You just gotta call on me, yeah

You just gotta call on me, oh

You just gotta call on me

Mmmmmmmmmm"

I clapped lightly as he blushed and stopped.

"I um...I actually wrote that the first day ye gave me your number. Your first day in college remember? I've never 'ad a bird give me her number before. I was a bit shocked." He chuckled. I leaned over and brushed my thumb over his eyebrows.

"You were such a cutie. Remember we went down to that pub down by the college? Ye Cracke.."

"Remember how much we shagged behind that place?" He wiggled his eyebrows up and down, making me laugh.

"You forced me."

"Remember your moans would echo through the alley. We'd fuck until we were knackered and couldn't stand anymore. We'd 'ave a smoke afterwards and take a shortcut through the park to yours. Fuckin christ those were the days." He sighed.

"I miss them a lot. I miss walking into life class and sitting between you and Stuart." I rested my head on his shoulder. "You fuckin prick brought him down to your level."

"Aye, the lad wanted a taste of the rock n roll life."

"If only he knew he was joining the circus instead." I smirked. He laughed and shook me.

"Yeah and you were our ring leader." He fired back. I made a face and looked up at him.

"Now, it's just you and me."

"Just you and me." He whispered.

We leaned in and kissed. I slowly moved into his lap, straddling his body under mine. I leaned my head back and hummed as he sucked on my neck. My hands moving into his hair.

"Oh John. I want you to make love to me."

"I thought you couldn't." He answered. I looked down at him and nodded.

"I can't but...maybe if were careful..."

"Ye think?" He smirked. I nodded and pecked his lips.

"Yes. Please baby I want you so bad." I breathed.

It didn't take much encouragement to get him going. He picked me up, placing me back on the bed and removing my shirt. He was about to unhook my bra when I stopped him.

"I think it's best we keep it on for now." I blushed. He nodded and kissed between my breasts, moving his hand between my legs. I bit my lip and pulled his shirt open, sliding my hands up and down his naked chest.

It wasn't long until the rest of our clothes were thrown on the ground. I shut my eyes and moaned softly as he rubbed my clit with his rough fingers.

"Are you ready?" He whispered. I nodded and opened my legs wider as he slowly entered. I let out small whimpers and gripped onto his arms tightly.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded.

"Keep going." I whispered. Inch by inch...then he was fully in. I wiggled around and adjusted to him. There was a small stinging and pain. I brought him down on my body and breathed against his neck.

"Fuck me John. Please baby I need it."

He slowly began moving in and out. I moved my hand to the back of his neck, pulling his hair softly as the pain slowly dispersed. Pleasure taking over. It's been too long.

Soon, we were both moaning and grinding. His thrusts quickening as I screamed his name in the air. I dug my nails into his back as my orgasm sent shivers all over my body. He groaned and breathed harder as he came inside. I loosend the grip my legs had around his waist and sighed in relief.

"My god I feel like a fuckin virgin who just got her first screw." I breathed. John laughed breathlessly and rolled off me.

"I'm pretty sure I'm goin to be sleeping like a bloody king tonight." He rested his hand over his forehead. I moved into his arms, resting my head and arm on his chest. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and grabbed the pack of cigarettes from the nightstand.

I leaned up and pulled one out, setting it between his lips and giving him a light. He inhaled and blew smoke out into the air.

.........