It's cold... I want to be hugged by him... But I can only be hugged by his dead body and hug the pizza box with a pizza I made of his organs and face.... I didn't want this, why was this all to kill him?! It's all my fault!

"Flippy wake up, breakfast is ready"

It was all a dream? Worse it was a nightmare, Sara is calling me from downstairs, I got up yet again with claw marks on me, I need to stop using my body as a stress relief, I got downstairs to see my breakfast and AK talking to Sara, I pick my food and go back to my room, I miss him, u know he may be gone forever, I picked a necklace he gave me saying "best friends" he gave me at school before we took different roles in life, I still regret what happened, I miss him and my friends, someday he will be back, I hope... But as always I sleep earlier than ever but always wake up as I cried a lot, I didn't tell Sara but I am sure she knows, anyways I need to try to get over with even though for me it isn't possible... Maybe I should rest