Sorry for updating this late guys. i had lots of stuff going on and i didnt exactly feel like writing. My grandpa passed away and right after that i had my 2nd year finals and now my final year started. so i'm focusing more on finishing my degree these days without trying to let my emotions take over me. 

Hope everyone's staying safe!

I ran as much as I can and as fast as I can. I let tears roll down my face and wasn't even bothered to wipe them away. At least I'm not wearing any makeup. My whole mind was in chaos. I couldn't think properly. I was trying to think but my mind won't just listen. If I agree to what my parents want, then I would be giving my life away for them. I would be giving them my freedom and everything that I have loved doing in my life. They aren't major things and some people would even consider them to be insignificant. But for me, they are my whole life and I'm not going to let go of them just because my parents want to. My parents weren't even there whenever I needed them.

When I was finally breathless, I stopped and looked around. I'm not exactly sure where I was but there was a convenience store. Praying that they are looking for part-timers and would be willing to give lodging, I entered. The aroma of different scents filled the whole store and I could hear my stomach grumbling. Of course, I would be hungry. It's not like I ate anything since lunch I think. I got myself two sandwiches and walked towards the cashier. The cashier is a young guy and he's almost my age with his looks. Not wanting to sound desperate, I posed my question and for the first time whoever god that was listening to my prayers answered. I got myself a part time job and the shift is from 5pm to 11pm which I can manage somehow and I was glad the lodging is just upstairs.

A week passed by and I was able to ignore the existence of my parents. I made sure not to take the usual route I would take and for the time being I was successful as I had to take a different bus to go to the convenience store. It was good 5 km away from my home which makes it almost 10km away from my school. The whole week I made excuses to Elle and sneaked away from school whenever I got the chance. She knew something was wrong and I could tell it from the way she stared at me sometimes. But I didn't tell her. It's not like I didn't but it's just I couldn't bring myself to tell it. She has a good family and her parents are what every child could ask for. She knows my family is messed up and I didn't want her to know how much messed up it actually is. Mr. White avoided the subject of transfer but he made sure to remind me that if I want to transfer I have only one week more to submit the application. At least he didn't know that my parents want me to transfer not just the program but to another country even.

It was the last period and unfortunately it was Mr. White's class and the day he's going to name the students who have been chosen for the BTS Love Yourself campaign. The moment I saw Mr. White looking at me I knew the results immediately. The members were there too and sir told them to go and stand next to the people who drew them and Jungkook was instantly standing beside me. He gave me a curious look but I just smiled at him and looked away. I could feel my phone buzzing continuously in my pocket and I ignored it as much as I can. I'm just not gonna transfer and if I can stop the transfer by taking part in their campaign, then be it. Mr. White was going on and on about the drawings he got and how some did good and some did bad and so on, when the classroom door blasted open. I froze on the spot and I could feel blood draining from my face. I knew they somehow got to know my school but I didn't know they would come finding me when they never even came to a parent-teacher meeting. They looked so pissed off and Mr. White instantly looked at me, as if asking what's going on here.

I didn't utter a single word but didn't take my eyes off them either because I wasn't exactly sure what my parents decided to do when they came, other than of course trying to drag me out of the school and ship me off to another country, without even bothering to ask what I want to do. They searched the entire room and finally when their gaze landed on me I knew I screwed up big this time. They tried so hard to control their anger before speaking and to be polite in front of everyone but I knew it won't work. Not when things didn't go in the way they planned which is something they hate.

"Meghan, let's go. We got your transfer letter" my dad spoke up and though he might have spoken politely, his words sounded harsh. I didn't move and I didn't even say anything. I could feel everyone's eyes on me and more than that I could feel Jungkook's stare making me get goosebumps.

"Meghan let's go quickly. Stop wasting everyone's time," my mom added. It wasn't that I was wasting anyone else's time, it was the fact that I was wasting their  time when they should be on a business trip or somewhere god knows where. I did stand up and I did pack my bag, and no, not because I want a transfer and want to go abroad, but because I knew the moment I opened my mouth I would end up arguing and fighting with them in front of the whole class. Before I could take a step forward, Jungkook got hold of my arm and made me turn towards him,

"you're transferring?" he asked and if I didn't see what I saw, I would have thought he actually worried about me. I just shook my head and walked out of the classroom. But the moment the door closed behind me, my parents started it and I wondered why did I even come out as everyone can hear everything.

"Meghan, what the hell are you thinking you're doing running away from home and making us lose our face in front of the guests?" my mom's voice echoed in my ears. But I still held it in. I held it in and tried to walk away thinking why can't everything just be easy. Unfortunately, I stopped dead on my tracks hearing my dad's voice, "You're going abroad tonight and that's final. You'll be starting your lectures the first thing tomorrow and from then onwards you'll be only focusing on getting good grades and working in the company. Do you understand?"

I was shocked to the core. I was trying to wrap my mind on everything they're saying but I couldn't make sense on any of it. They planned everything without even asking me and they don't even ask whether I'm ok with it or not. I was never interested in their damn company. I hated it more than anything in the world. I hated the fact that they always gave the company their first thought and I was always the last in everything. They always missed my birthday but always remembered when they have meetings. I mustered up the little bit of courage that I had in myself and said, "I'm not leaving and I'm not transferring from arts." Just then the bell rang and within minutes the whole classroom gathered outside. I saw Elle walking towards our class and when she saw my parents, she stopped on her tracks.

Mr. White must've finally realized that there's something serious going on and he stepped in and said totally ignoring my parents, which I was happy about, "congratulations, Meghan, you're selected for the campaign and Professor Chris will advise tomorrow on the procedure and about your role in the campaign."

Before I could say anything my father interrupted and said that I won't be participating on anything because I'll be going abroad tonight, while dragging me from my arm towards the exit. Having had enough of my parents not even bothering to listen to what I say, I pushed my dad's hand away and screamed, giving zero f*** about who's listening, 

"I said I'm not going and that's final." I took a deep breath and added, "I'll never do business and I don't give a shit about your company. For god's sake I'm not that child who begged both of you to stay home and not leave me alone anymore. I don't give a sh*t about what you want me to do and you know what, go and screw yourselves." I knew I was so close to start crying, but I still wanted to tell it to them to their face, "you might be good chair-persons of the company but you know what? You both are failures as parents. Did you hear me? Failures."

I could clearly see my parents were too shocked to say anything and at that moment I really didn't care about anything. I could feel myself shivering and I wanted to run away and hide somewhere where nobody can find me. I never stood up to my parents fearing that they'll leave me again and again. But it took me a long time to realise that they both left me long time ago. My father's phone started to ring and without a single word, they both left me standing there. I didn't feel embarrassed but I felt tired. So tired that I could barely stand up straight. I was exhausted. Part of me screamed for talking like that to them, fearing that they'll give up on me forever. But part of me knew that if they cared about me they would have stayed and talked with me. I lost the strength in my legs and I was on the verge of falling when someone held my waist so tightly that made me realise my parents didn't even hold me this tightly at least once. It was Jungkook. I didn't want him to hold me but didn't push him away either. I let him hold me because I didn't have any strength in me. For some reason Jungkook always seems to see me in my most vulnerable stages and i'm beginning to feel glad that he's there, because for a long time I was all alone with no one to help me with my monsters.

for anyone who's reading this book, thank you so much for taking time to read it and i really appreciate it. i will try my best to update whenever i can but being in the final year as a law student makes it hard sometimes for me. so sorry if i take too long to update!