do you remember when

you asked me

why i dont drink?

i said that i

just dont like the taste.

that was a lie because

i didnt want to scare you away.

i dont drink because

i wouldnt just

drink

i would long for it

the same way

you long for that one package of

chocolate.

only that chocolate doesnt

kill you when

the pleasure takes over and you

lose control.

tequila does tho.

and i really want to live in this

healthy body i was gifted with.

but still

the urge to keep destroying it

never fades.

i see the bottles full of golden liquid and

i smell the sharp odor of numbness

and my addicted body longs for it while

at the same time it

suffocates in memory of the last time

this deadly longing won over it.