I need to share something...

That's it! :") I hope that made your day!!

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19 August 2010

"However, you are not alone."

—Shannon L. Alder

I'm sorry Babbu, I had to hide you in the bathroom, but don't peek at anyone when they're in with you, haan? Nobody should know about us. So this morning, do you know what happened?

"Nandini... It's seven AM, get up!" I grumbled loudly in response to the personal alarm before flipping around in my sheets until I found a more comfortable position. Then, I smiled. "Nandini!" It was Aunt Shannoo. She's my father's younger brother's wife, but her affection would always show otherwise. She was the closest I had to Amma, my mother.

The air around turned dense, whirling me into its rage until almost strangulating me. A shiver crawled along the back of my spine, jolting me out of bed. My temples pulsated with the sudden blood rush.

I had another reason for my misery: I dreaded going to school. But too bad, she was already at the door with a spatula, on the one hand, speculating my next move with her eyebrows knitted together. I squirmed in bed. "Umm... Chikkamma, my stomach hurts."

"Ahan, I'm quite aware of this pain, and I have the perfect remedy! I made you some peanut butter sandwiches and some fresh orange juice. Chalo, otherwise you'll miss your bus. Come down, quick!" She left after flipping her dupatta on one of her shoulders. No wonder my uncle never loses weight! If he stocks up on this much food every meal, how can two rounds of jogging do any good?

Anyways, the point is I did miss the bus, but Abhi dropped me to school and picked me up on the way back! Baby steps into settling in this humongous city.

Babbu, today I found something astonishing about Abhi. He has a sweetheart, haw! I don't think I was supposed to know, but I saw him sneaking around with a girl on his bike, and I'm sure they are not just friends. She's also gorgeous, I don't know what she saw in my brother that she's seeing him! *rolls eyes* I can't wait to confront him about it, but I am sure he'll deny it, at least to me. He thinks I'm still a baby, and that I'll rat him out to our parents, huh!

Speaking of rats, another one popped out of nowhere this morning in that same bathroom I'd locked from the outside out of fear. Chikkappa said he fed them some of the cheddar cheese I had stored for my sandwiches, and I hollered at the idea before getting scolded for creating a scene. Basically, see, rats are fat, dirty and obnoxious, and I don't like them.

The first day wasn't as miserable as I thought it would be. I am in 10A this year. Our class is boring, nothing like Bangalore schools, and speaking in English is like a crime here! My teachers are amiable, and they tried to help me gel with the rest of the class. It doesn't help, though because nobody cares about the teachers in this school. I feel so new, so clueless.

Everyone already has their groups, their solid friend circles and they don't like talking to anyone else, I think, but our class benches have three seats, you know? So, I didn't sit alone, thanks Aiyappa! I found a place beside Navya Naveli and Aryamann Khurana, my two new 'friends'–if I can call them that. I think they already know each other well, but whatever I like them too.

Navya is already 15, her father owns a mithai-ghar (sweet store), and her mother and aunt make fresh sweets on a wholesale level every day, can you imagine that much sugar daily on a daily basis? Chikkappa has diabetes even otherwise. She wears two braids to school, she's traditional, and the kind of girl Amma and Appa would want me to be. So if I ever tell you about the braided hair girl, it's her.

Aryamann is a boy, by the way, and he's okay. He's kind of cute, and tall, but not that much of either. He's round and chubby and has enough hair to tie a tiny bun, but I wouldn't call it super long. Hair is beautiful on anyone, as long as it's on their heads! He stays at boarding school on campus and says the food and the people suck. Understandable.

Also, tomorrow is SPACE's birthday night–it's turning 32 years old this year, which is kind of impressive if you ask me. I don't think I'll go, plus it's a late-night party so Chikkappa and Chikkamma would be sceptical too. I hardly know anyone anyways, which gives me a good enough reason to pass this time, but I also don't want to miss out. I'm already very behind on everything–which reminds me, tomorrow I have to catch up on so much! Tell me, what to do, Babbu? Also, 40 days to 15! AHHHH!

Okay, sorry for the neverending rants at 10 PM. Good night, Babbu. 

Nandu

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Manik

Oh yes, I remembered Aryamann very distinctly–a douchebag he was, and Nandini's best friend, of course. I always had conflicted opinions about that 'friendship' of theirs or the boundaries of it, but I was sure I let her down in more ways to count than he ever did.

Rohit looked me in the eye, while meekly stating, "Manik, this is our schedule for tomorrow. I hope you'll co-operate." I believe I gave him a very negative vibe from the first minute he laid eyes on me. He heard that I was a tough nut to crack and didn't intend to pull the trigger. He handed me a copy of his planner sheet and then began unpacking.

Apparently, they needed a melody ready by six PM the next night, which wasn't a strict deadline for me since I had a considerable stash of unsung inspiration in my handwritten musical notes. At the back of my head, I knew it was basic courtesy to talk to my father; I shot him a small text: *Everything's fine here. Going to bed now. *

The last bit was to discourage any other conversations with him. I could do with some rehearsals later. I was stuck into getting to the better bits of her story, and that was all I wanted to immerse myself into.

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20 August 2010

"Sometimes our light goes out, but is blown again into instant flame by an encounter with another human being."

—Albert Schweitzer

So much happened today, Babbu, I can't wait to tell you! Wait, story time!

I caught the bus this morning, surprisingly! See, baby steps! It came by surprise to me that Navya was in my bus route as well; I waved at her when I saw her, but she was sitting with someone else, draining my excitement–anyways I know a familiar face. The bus rides won't be awkward, hopefully.

In History period, this teacher called Raghav Sir played a film called 'The Tempest', an adaptation of William Shakespeare's most famous literature pieces which correlated with the idea of romanticism that originated in Europe in the mid-1800s–which was the crux of our lesson. That was the first class of his I'd been in, and I may be quick to judge, but I loved his style of teaching. Connecting a story to every topic in the textbook makes it easier to join the dots and learn such a wordy subject with the precision of details. No wonder his History classes have an 80% average.

An embarrassing thing happened today: I bumped into a teacher, I guess, on the way to the washroom, and it was so awkward. Like I didn't even see, because before I could take a step, from behind a random pillar, he just came and stopped right in front of me. Who in their sanest mind would halt in the hallway? I unmindfully bumped into his chest, backed off for a second and then as my jaw grazed the floor, I covered my face with my hands and muttered a 'sorry'. Then, I was too busy kicking myself even to look up and validate my clumsiness. Why always me, Aiyappa!

We got extra Biology homework too so after school, I had a relaxing shower and invited Navya over to give me a helping hand. I wasn't a pro at Biology, but it was one of my better-off subjects. I think the science genes just run in our blood; Amma and Appa are both scientists. They have a fancier word for their profession, but we were all too small when they spoke about it with us, so we don't know. That's it for school.

We were on my bed this evening: Navya, I and Rishabh who were playing snakes and ladders with Navya. She had a rough idea of what was to be done in the assignment hence the leisure time. Though I was not expected to turn the work in at the same time as everyone else and was proposed extra help in case I needed it, I still wanted to be genuine and do my part, mainly because I loved the subject.

As she briefly explained her mind-maps to me, I gaped at how detailed her study notes were. At first glance, I could tell she was a hardworking student, even if not smart enough. She rolled a four and climbed up a ladder to 82, earning a 'sigh' from Rishabh who was leading so far.

"Rishabh, how old are you?" She asked after a slight teasing chuckle.

He gave her a small smile and raised all his fingers. "He's 10."

"Arre, let him tell me? I want to be his friend. Don't be shy, Rishu. Rishu, na?" He nodded politely, earning my heart. My eyes darted to my hands that had frozen on the bed.

"He can't speak," I said in one breath.

"Oh." "Okay, I'll learn sign language for him." She smiled at him, and his face lit up.

In a couple of moves, Rishabh won the game, ending Navya's winning streak with every opponent so far! "Nandini, if you are done, I'm going to go get ready for the orientation night."

"Are you going?"

"Yeah, with Aryamann." She replied promptly. "You should come too."

"No... I have some work anyways." I didn't want to force myself into their friendship. I appreciated how she tried hard to speak in English with me, and her friendly gestures, but I didn't want to cause any troubles for them either. Sitting with them for eight hours a day is a significant hindrance already.

"No, really, you've never been to a SPACE party. You should come. Experience the school's culture."

"It's in the night, Navya, my family won't allow me." Good excuse, Nandu!

"I'll talk to Aunty and Uncle, come on! Rishu, tell her na?" He did a reassuring thumbs-up at me.

"Are you sure?" His gestures translated to, 'you'll enjoy!' If only I could forget all my worries for a day, sorry–night.

Later that day, with Chikkappa strongly advising me to stick around with Abhi, I was allowed to wear a long plain navy blue chiffon skirt with a semi-traditional hem paired with a black Victorian styled lace blouse. Gathering my hair into a high Ariana Grande inspired ponytail, I felt particularly... jubilant, I guess. They were my mother's favourite colours, and I knew even from up above, she would love to see me dressed like that. Kajal was another iconic thing I learned from my mother, and my Bangalore friends were decent enough makeup gurus to coach me on it.

Abhi was dressed informally as well, which was surprising for a party that was so hyped. Somewhat expectedly, he threw in a warning as I got off his bike. "Nandini, just remember as much as I love that you're here, as a brother I have to say I can't keep an eye on you always. Stay cautious, and you'll be okay. Don't hesitate..."

The inner responsible Nandini Murthy sprung to seize her day. "You won't have to worry about me." He patted my cheek playfully as if he already acknowledged I and let me in, conferring his student ID to the bouncers and adding me as his plus one until I could get my student ID card.

The party at the first glimpse appeared to be a place housing free booze and stash for underage students. Intense metal beats mashed with some soft peppy songs played in the background, while the air smelled like mistletoe. The gruelling essence of the 'social gathering' stirred an eerie feeling in my stomach, adding to it was the incognizance of the people who'd dragged me all the way.

I noticed Abhi found a few of his friends. His pretty girlfriend was part of that group too. His eyes happened to meet mine at the same time, and he hurried in and pulled me towards them. "This is my sister, Nandini, and Nandini, this is Alia, Mukti and Dhruv." I smiled at them faintly and threw in a small wave. I couldn't remember all those faces, but I associated the pretty girlfriend as Alia–who now seemed to be a lot more intimidating than I expected.

"Where's Manik and Cabir?" They were into a conversation of their own that I couldn't be bothered listening to. My eyes searched for Navya or Aryamann until I found them sneaking in through the emergency exit, which I took as my excuse to make an exit.

"Hi,"

"Nandini... have you been here for long?" I shook my head after checking the time: a solid 20 minutes. I was more than glad they made an appearance at least.

"I was just fetching some juice."

"Oh, can you get me one too, please?" I politely nodded.

I filled two glasses, one with orange juice and one with water as I headed back and again, all of a sudden, I was towered by a giant. I couldn't even process how quickly it all happened that I tripped and fell onto him, both liquids spilling on us; and he stumbled onto a stool.

"Fuck!" He cursed loudly, eyeing his wet casual beige shirt that stuck to his muscles. His back thumped on the countertop. This time I was sure it wasn't a teacher, cause teachers were not immature to be part of a teenager party. I landed literally on his chest and in between his legs, clinging onto his shoulders while his arm grazed my back in reflex. If anybody looked at us like that, we would've been in big trouble.

I was too close to him, breathing the air he inhaled, so a solid few glances at him could be spared. In my line of vision, the outlines of his chest were evident. To be honest, I'd never seen any man shirtless in real life, in movies obviously Varun Dhawan is all about the flex, but real life–and his silhouette was exposed enough to now validate that I'd finally done that as well. My conscious reminded me that I hadn't shifted my gaze yet, and then withdrew my hand uncomfortably.

In that split-second, he glanced at me and then grunted before releasing his hold on me, that I suddenly became more aware of. "So out of 1500 people in this room, you find only me worthy enough to hit on?" His sly allegation took me by surprise while I was brushing the round droplets that hadn't been absorbed yet off my top.

"Excuse me?" That was the first time I looked into his eyes, and I had to admit my courage for maintaining it–being the awkward girl that I am.

"What? You've ruined my favourite shirt!"

Umm... rude. I flapped my right hand in the air. "That's your fault. Can't you check out who's around?"

"I am..." It took me a moment to understand what he meant. I pulled my lower lip between my teeth to cover up the embarrassment; damn my choice of words! His smirk widened. Was he hitting on me? No guy approached me like that before; guys hardly thought of me as attractive, or anything other than a sister.

"I don't want to talk to you." I shyly took two steps before I could hear a disapproving growl from him, earning a pressed smile from me. That was a toxic masculinity trait, I must say, that they can't allow someone else to deny their bullshit.

I headed to the nearest bathroom, which was also a challenge since a hundred other drunk students tripped on and with me. I clicked the doorknob and pushed, only to a horrifying sight of a half-naked girl being nailed by a drowning kiss with a taller shirtless man whose back faced me. Just to make sure I entered the female bathroom, I stepped back to see the board and then heaved a deep breath before re-entering.

By then, the girl, who was Mukti presumably because I already knew Alia by her face, held her crumpled shirt close to her chest, pushing her man away. The man shook his head indifferently still facing her and pulled her into a bathroom stall, locking the door behind him. I heard her giggle, but I cursed my stars for this being the only bathroom in the massive hall.

Aiyappa, where did you bring me to, seriously!

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