One more update!

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Manik

The butler who was in charge of keeping my bedroom an orderly space witnessed a battleground of tossed pillows, scattered clothes, and overturned furniture, all torn apart in my relentless search as he brought in a platter of snacks for me to munch alongside my beer. The food was immediately upended, just like the parts of me that chaotically sprawled my room. Every corner, every drawer, had been ransacked for the two star-shaped studs.

When my eyes fell on them finally in the corner of one of my closet cupboards, I clutched them in a fit of rage, my hands shaking to reclaim some semblance of order in my shattered world. I stormed downstairs and crossed the threshold of the balcony leading to the pool — my safe haven in this hellhole. Opening my fist, my fingers trailed over the two specks of gems embedded on silver stars, which shimmered faintly in the moonlight.

A gift to her on our first month together.

I rolled my fist, its metal biting into my palm, as I went back to the ledge where her journal sat, desperately flipping the page from 4th of November to the 5th. Diwali.

5 November 2010

Babbu, remember I told you yesterday that after badminton, Manik invited me for Diwali celebrations at his house and I had told him my Chikkappa would not allow it? Later at dinner time yesterday, Abhi pitched in information about the Diwali party to Chikkamma and Chikkappa and said he would love to take us to see the lights. How Manik had convinced my brother without leading to suspicions, I didn't know.

The celebration was to begin at six, so Abhimanyu had returned from their hangout to pick Rishu and I up at six, but on reaching there, nobody else had turned up. Nobody except Manik's friend group.

For weeks, I had nagged him about never showing me his house or taking me in even though he has been to my Mumbai home countless times, but today... after being there in an eight-bedroom bungalow, surrounded by such magnificent opulence and not a speck of dust on any shelves or cabinets, my heart fell in my stomach. Our Mumbai home was below sub-standard in comparison.

Chikkamma had even insisted me to take a gift since we were not supposed to go to other's homes empty-handed, but the hollowed star-shaped lamp I had gotten from the street-side market wasn't worth putting on any of those shelves. Frightened by the divides in our class, the whole excitement of visiting Manik's home vanished. I excused myself from my brothers, saying I would freshen up and join them. Abhi pointed to an alleyway leading to a guest bathroom, and left towards a balcony.

I nervously shuffled the gift from one hand to the other as I made my way towards the bathroom, when firm fingers encircled my elbow and dragged me in a different direction. Mouthing his name under a small smile, I let myself get pulled through a door, leading to the garden. Behind one of the pillars supporting the intricately carved rainshed between the ground and first floor, my back hit smooth white marble.  

Manik gently tucked my loose hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering at my earlobes. "I like them on you."

I blushed, looking at his kada hovering near my eyes and then his red Ferrari slides, registering that he was wearing a black vest and blue sweatpants. It was past six. "It's your Diwali party and you're still not ready?" I fretted to his feet.

"Tch, I don't care about these festivals. What's this?"

He frowned, looking at the gold gift-wrapped box.

"A gift for your house, for Diwali, but it's not very good so..." Before I could finish, he claimed the parcel, asking if he could open it. No thank you, nothing – then again, that's Manik Malhotra for us, Babbu. He has no concept of magic words. "No, don't open it now. Later," I blurted, worried about seeing dejection in his face at the cheapness of my gift.   

"Is it something private?" He suggested flirtateously, amused by the redness on my cheeks while I struggled to keep them at bay. "Exciting! By the way, did you take a good enough look of my house? Are your complaints redacted yet?"

I hummed, lost in other thoughts.

"What's hmm?"

Feeling hollow from the question, I said to the ground, "It is beautiful. The paint, modern interiors, the lights, how spacious it is..." It all just depicted how out of place I was in his life.

Manik probably recognised some hints of dullness as he took a step back, examining me thoroughly. I was in a simple black blouse and white lehenga, with a white dupatta draped over a shoulder, covering my midriff. Thin eyeliner and kajal covered my waterline, and two silver bangles adorned both hands along with one pair of studs at my ears... his studs. "But you haven't seen the other parts," he sulked. 

That would only add to my series of doubts on myself.

"I don't have to... this itself is –" Distracted by his retreating frame and steady gaze, I anxiously blurted, "– what happened? Is something on my face?" I palmed my face haphazardly.

In a low, monotonous near-whisper, the word "Khoobsurat" left Manik's lips as he slowly shook his head, not smiling just staring.

"What?"

"I said nothing." He gulped, channeling out of his trance. "Tch, you're dating a Punjabi munda, you should at least learn some Hindi." His supposed joke was met with my giggle and the word 'Punjabi' struck a chord.

He was Manik Malhotra, Nyonika Ma'am's son. I was in Nyonika Ma'am's house, laughing and enjoying her son's company in her back garden. Nyonika Ma'am, our school principal, a wealthy woman who could easily buy ten properties like our Murthy villa with the snap of her finger.   

Feeling a chill run down my spine, I urged over my thundering heartbeat, "You should go get dressed."

"Why, are you shy? Is that why you haven't looked up at me since the time I got you here?" Manik had a small smirk playing on his lips as my eyes widened. "Haven't you blatantly checked me out on the grounds before?"

I nervously shook my head. "No! I... I –"

He spontaneously laughed, his hand flying in the air and slowly descending to meet my palm in a gentle clasp. "Just relax, haan? You are allowed to check me out." Mesmerised by him, my fingers wrapped his palm as he pulled me to his side. "Come with me."

"Where?"

"I want to show you my room."

Pausing in my steps, my secure hold stretched his. "Manik, everyone will be here in a few minutes. I also told Abhi I'd freshen up and come. What if someone sees us?"

Just then, Mukti's voice echoed from the living room, "Manik..."

I hiccuped, my hold on him dropping as I shielded myself from anyone's vision behind the pillar I was at. He was in the verandah exposed.

"Haan, aaya." He called back, watching his sister disappear before towering over me slyly. "Your tongue has some manifestation powers seriously, everything you say comes true. Maybe don't use it unless absolutely necessary, you get what I mean?" Despite the uncontrollable flush on my face at his tease, I meekly met his eyes, realising that was the closest I could be to him for the rest of the night.

I rapidly blinked, feeling a sting in my eyes at the thought.

"The backdoor to the mansion is open, just go around the house and push the first glass door you see. Bye." As he finished speaking, his lips pressed the spot where my partition met my hairline and he galloped to the house, barricading the door so I could sneak out of my hiding spot without getting caught.

As I re-entered the house, Navya, Shahid, and Aryamann flooded in with some other guests I had neither seen nor known of.

"Nandini, why are you so red?" Shahid asked curiously, while Navya scanned the premises for the source of it. I answered the question, saying I had gotten a little lost somewhere and that I should let Abhimanyu know my friends were around.

Finally, when Manik came downstairs, he was wearing something traditional – a charming red kurta and white pajama. I made sure I didn't let my gaze fixate for long.

The rest of the evening went by pretty smoothly, barring a small toast Nyonika Ma'am gave, whereby she introduced Diwali as her children's favourite festival. Favourite? Manik had said he didn't like festivals. The blankness in both Mukti's and Manik's faces as Nyonika Ma'am addressed that revealed just how little she knew her children. It was pitiful, even as a visitor, watching their interactions for the very first time, that the Malhotras' had enormous wealth but lacked connections with their children.

After the toast, the visitors disbanded into something akin to a modern gathering of sorts, the venue flooding with alcohol, dried fruits and nuts, a cheese platter with the most exquisite combinations known to mankind, and an elaborate buffet of delicacies. Harshad, who had just walked in, went with Mukti to the back garden where Manik and I were some time ago, hugging and kissing each other in greeting. Publicly. Hopefully Navya didn't notice that.

At the sight, I searched for Manik amongst the bustling crowd, not wanting to invade their private moment. He was nowhere to be seen. There was music playing, dance rebuttles and a mehendi counter – all in all, a western take on what was supposed to be a religious festival.

Navya sat down to get mehendi done on the backs of her hands. The boys served themselves some food when I spotted Rishu and Abhi by the dessert counter. I left Navya's side, saying I would return shortly.

"Have dessert after dinner, na?"

Abhi probed as soon as I came, "Nandu, no, Rishu likes chilled gulab jamun so I'm asking them to freeze two now."

My jaw dropped in surprise. "How can you request them that? That's not nice." We were never raised to make any special requests at anyone else's house. Even at our own place, it was only if our family was in a good mood that we would even consider asking for things in a certain way. "Sorry bhaiyya. Rishu, we'll get it for you on the way home okay?" 

Twitching his lips, Abhi gripped my wrist, stopping me. "Arrey, it's Manik's house. Of course, they will do it for us. Aap freeze kardo Ramu kaka, hum pandrah minute mein aake le lenge." Ramu kaka promptly nodded and said, 'Ji', as if complying.

"That was rude, Abhi."

"It's called best friend privileges." He sniggered, dragging my brother, who didn't seem the most comfortable approaching the host of the party or his friends. It was only fair, Abhi's rebel gang were the farthest from my eleven-year-old brother's type of people.

"Rishu, come, I'll introduce you to my friends. You already know Navya na?" While he appeared eager to know two teenage boys were part of our friend group, I pulled Abhi some distance away from him. "Listen, no cigarettes today."

Abhi gasped, utterly shocked that I even found out, perhaps. "How could you think that of me, Nandini? Aiyappa, I don't do such disgusting things. Chee! Don't you know it's a bad habit? Injurious to health too." When he began smirking, I swatted him playfully, knowing exactly where that tendency came from. "Jokes aside, I'm fasting today just like you."

Back at our friend group that had found a few free chairs next to the pool-side balcony, Shahid and Aryamann kept Rishabh entertained. As they were eating, they kept asking him how he solved the Rubik's cube and if he could teach them the techniques to do so as well. Navya was still waiting for her turn with henna.

"Yaar, ask your boyfriend if he can expedite the queue for us na?" She teased. "If you ask, he will listen,"

"Stop it, I made a big mistake telling you!" I bit my lower lip, holding back a blush. On behalf of the two of us, I decided that the wiser decision would be to get her a plate, so she could have something to eat by the time she was done.

One of the house-helpers struggled with reattaching some light fixtures, that fell over me as I walked to the buffet counter. The middle-aged man had to climb up and down a wobbly ladder to sort it out. "Uncle, don't come down. Tell me what to do, I'll help." Despite his refusal, I assisted him with powering the light unit at a different source, saving him a trip down and back up. He profusely thanked me as I smiled.

That was when I saw Manik's group through the glass separating us, moving towards the pool chairs. He wasn't there though, nobody wearing a red kurta was in the group. Where was he? Was he missing at his own party?

By the time I got Navya a plate, she had saved me a spot between her and Rishabh. I dejectedly sat with my friends, passing a plate of chole and rice along with some vegetarian savouries over the makeshift table in front. With every spoonful she took, Navya placed the utensil down and flapped her hands in the air, speeding the drying process.

At one point, Aryamann had passed the Rubik's cube to me, explaining to the group that I was a good teacher and he could learn by watching me. Even while I shifted the cube, his hands were re-adjusting the formation, brushing my fingers while he was trying to understand what was doing wrong.

Navya's gaze distractedly shifted to the upstairs landing of the Malhotra Mansion, and she winced at the glowering expression someone was passing her while chugging a glass of liquid in one gulp.

Water. I had chugged water.

"Nandu, I think... um – where is Abhimanyu? I can't see him in that group." Navya gestured at the glass door, interrupting our conversation. As I intonated a huh, she nudged me, "Go na, go have a look." But why? Was she meaning Manik was there?

I quickly got up, leaving Aryamann hanging with the cube, and moved towards the poolside. Mukti was in Harshad's lap, his arms locked around her as they shared a cigarette. Cabir and Dhruv were on two chairs, clinking their cups, while Alia was between them, sipping on one.

"It's Diwali, a religious festival, and you guys are all drinking?"

Their heads turned to me, Dhruv with a smile, Cabir with a confused frown and Alia was rolling her eyes. Mukti and Harshad just watched me.

"We don't care about religion." Cabir shrugged, his voice warm – not snappy – but indifferent. He tipped his glass back, savouring the drink with a satisfied sigh. "Actually... why don't you join us?"

"I'm sorry I can't, I need to help out."

"Help out whom?" He asked hysterically. I mentally face-palmed myself for saying that, the usual hostess in me cringing for being called out amongst Manik's friends. "Oh come on, it's Manik's house. There's enough staff to handle party chores. You come, sit with us," Cabir patted a chair beside himself. "...relax... you know, take it easy. Here,"

From somewhere beneath his chair, he brought out a glass that was quarter-filled with a maroonish-pink liquid, different from the golden-ombre one in everyone else's cups. 

I shook my head, though appreciative of his insistence. "Thanks, but I'm fasting today."

"It's just cranberry juice, you do drink water, right?" Cabir's tone was persuasive, and as I nodded, his eyes darted to Dhruv for confirmation. "So she can consume fluids, here... surely one fruit drink won't hurt. Keep us company," He extended the glass to me.

I clenched the delicate stones from the earrings, its metal biting into my palm. 

Nandini Murthy before she began dating Manik Malhotra would not have wanted to be part of that friend group. Yet, given how important Manik was to me, and to them, my natural instinct was to accept them for who they were. And at that instant, they were being so thoughtful by keeping a separate non-alcoholic beverage for me.

The least I could do was embrace the spirit in which it was offered. My hand gently clasped the cup. Both Cabir and Dhruv cheered it with enthusiasm. I beamed, feeling a sense of approval within the most exclusive group I had ever known.

My glass was knocked out by a towering figure, shattering to little slivers on the ground. "She said na she's fasting!" Manik said furiously. My heart skipped a beat at the sudden intensity amongst the group.

I had found out through Mukti later that night that Dhruv had made that drink with the intention of giving it to Nandini; if she took it, it was a sign that Dhruv's route was clear and he could make a move on Nandini. If she didn't, Dhruv would have to hunt for more signals. That was why Cabir had been desperately trying to get Nandini to accept the drink – the alcoholic drink.

Mukti jumped from Harshad's embrace, eager to do damage control. "Manik Manik, calm down. Chill..." She palmed his shoulders, passing him a scattered look so as to observe the audience surrounding us.

He snapped back, forceful in his strides. "What calm down? Didn't you see she said she doesn't want it?" His fiery presence was intimidating even to his sister, and she took a step back letting him do as he pleased. Harshad tilted his head at the new information that was surfacing.

My heartbeat raced at the speed of light.

Cabir explained, "Bhai, main toh bas offer kar raha tha... lena ya na lena uski marzi thi... and she took the glass –" Manik's gaze was cutthroat, and he was unyielding. Exuding a raw, intense energy evident from his posture, his eyes locked on Cabir with a nearly sharding glare.

Mukti too appealed, warding suspicions, "She didn't say –"

"Just shut up!" Manik growled sharply to nobody in particular. As the area echoed in silence, the realisation of what transpired struck him. Alia, Cabir, Dhruv and Harshad had all been taken aback by the exchange, which stemmed from more than just a protective act for a friend's sibling. At that rate, it was only a matter of moments until his friends found out about us.

He roughly closed in on me, snapping his fingers in the air, making me naturally retreat from him. "And you... what the hell are you doing here with my friends?"

Harshad sighed, as if such temper was part of Manik's equilibrium state; the scene was nothing amusing to him anymore. Dhruv was appalled by his best buddy's tone and the words he used at me. I gasped, blinking at him in disbelief. Was he the same boy who, in private, doused my ears with honey with his gentle tone and flirtateous phrases?

Mukti jumped towards him in warning. "Don't you speak to her like that."

"I don't care. Tell her to get lost from here," He scowled, heading to the vacant chair that Cabir was patting me to take.

I studied my friends and their expressions carefully, unsure if it had worked.

I let my tears fall and turned around, heading back into the house, to the bathroom Abhi first pointed out when we entered the house.

Gutted at the sight of her tears, I had passed her a final longing look as she left the arena and then straightened myself. "What? If we're adding more members to our friend group, let me also know so I can be better prepared for the next addition," I grumbled, relaxing in my chair, mindful of not reaching for a cigarette or alcohol. 

Her earrings were in my palm.

The memory of her returning it to me days after our breakup ignited a fresh wave of fury. With a snarl, I flung it into the air. It arced gracefully, the glint of silver catching moonlight before it plumetted into the pool with a resounding plop. Hints of chlorine emerged from the violent ripple that distorted the calm waters.

Just like I distorted her.

What was once a gift, cherished, was now a tarnished piece of our history, rapidly sinking beneath the surface. Drowning.

As the concentric waves gradually faded, the intensity of my emotions subsided and left behind a begrudging emptiness within. A hollowing calmness.

Almost impulsively, I shrugged off my black blazer, undid my socks and began unbuttoning my shirt.

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I am literally in tears, I did not expect this part would make me so damn emotional, especially the symbolic elements that I did not foresee incorporating.

One more? :P

Please keep your support coming <3