Let's heal our hearts a bit from the wreck-ball that was the last two chapters.

I have so many comments from the previous chapter I can't wait to reply to! Please keep your feedback and thoughts flowing <3

⭒

Manik

The Malhotra Mansion.

How better to celebrate my fucking homecoming than... all alone, parading in my solitude?!

Cracking open a beer from the cooler beside the pool, I sat on a bar stool, flicking to the next page as a lit tube rested between my fingers.

21 October 2010

I am not sure if I have told you before, Babbu, but I have an elaborate night routine that consists of washing my legs, brushing my teeth, changing my clothes, praying to Aiyappa and writing in you before sleeping. Prior to this routine, most nights, I usually pack my school bag for the next day, so I don't miss anything I need the next day for class.

Thank God I do that, because I needed some maps of India for Social Studies and I almost forgot. Slapping my forehead at my absent-minded nature, I glanced at the clock. It was 8:53.

The shops would be open until 10 PM, the question was whom could I ask to accompany me?

If I bothered Chikkappa, I would playfully get advice from the both him and Chikkamma about how back in the day, kids would pull out their diaries first thing when they got home and check off the list of supplies needed for the next day. They would also make sure to sprinkle in some light-hearted taunts about kids these days have it easier.

Even if they usually meant it in good humour, statements like those often upsetted me. If they were my parents, it would have been a different scenario altogether, but they were already doing me such a big favour by raising me in Mumbai, that those teases felt like a reminder of how grateful I should be to them.

And I really was.

Abhi, on the other hand, was my blood, my brother. whom I could reach out to without qualms. Making up my mind, I nervously knocked on Abhi's door.

"What is it?" came his distant voice, perhaps from his bed.

"Listen, I need something from the stationary shop. Can you take me?"

He twitched his lips loudly. "What were you doing all evening, Nandu? I'm busy now. Ask Chikkappa, go." I sulked behind the door.

"You're just on your PlayStation, please come na?" He huffed and probably hopped off his bed, because thumps approached the door and he pulled it open, his earphone wire in one hand and a paused PS console on the other. Already in his nightclothes, he was seemingly ready for bed. I had almost forgotten he had played basketball for three hours this evening.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to bother him either, but it could be worth a shot.

I blinked and pinched the skin on my throat. "Nandini promise, I'll do anything you ask if you help me this one time."

Feeling some kind of pity on me, or merely exhaustion from his long day, he softly said, "I'll get it for you in the morning before you go to school, okay, go to bed now." Quickly, he pulled me into a side-hug and pecked the top of my head while rubbing my shoulders. "Good night."

As I turned, Abhi's cheers and trashtalk were audible outside his room.

Slowly, I walked back to my room, hyperaware that I would be worrying about it the whole night and wouldn't be able to sleep. As I gently shut the door behind me, my eyes fell on my cupboard.

Today was day 3 of hiding the phone Manik gave me in a safe spot. I kept it and the attached charger cord in one of my drawers, delicately tucked in a doily cloth under all my undergarments which I already hid from plain sight. Nobody, not even Chikkamma would look into that drawer knowing how private I was about keeping them under covers.

I unravelled the device and unlocked it with the passcode of the day we first kissed – 04102010, opening Contacts to find only his contact stored. "Hi Manik," I cooed, perking at my call being picked on the second ring.

"Hello girlfriend," He uttered playfully, as he shuffled while setting aside his guitar. Then his voice echoed in the distance, as if he shifted his phone from one ear to the other. "You actually saved customer care a temper tantrum. I was a few seconds away from lashing out at them."

I pursed my lips, but arched my eyebrows. "Lash out? But why?"

"I recharged your line for unlimited calls and texts, but this seems to be an incoming line only."

Subsequent pings hit my ear.

3 messages...

4 messages...

6 messages...

7 messages...

8 messages...

"I – you've been messaging me? I didn't get them before... I actually switched off the phone." I confessed sheepishly.

He grunted sarcastically on the other end of the line. "What's the point of a phone if you're never reachable?"

"Haw,"

The line went quiet for a few solid seconds. "Acchha baba, don't hang up now... I've waited all evening to hear you. So tell me, how was your day?"

"It's been terrible. I had the much dreaded presentation for Raghav Sir's class." I could not escape it forever after all, and presenting my speech in front of the class sent jitters down my spine. When I began talking, the introduction had been spot on, just like I had rehearsed.

On forgetting my first point, I gaped at the floor, rummaging my stupid brain to remember. My blank appearance was not welcomed by the rest of the class. To get back up to speed, the flow took a long thirty seconds, and it wasn't until I happened to look at Navya and Aryamann that they'd been mouthing and gesturing my next point.

After that, the rest of the speech fell into place perfectly, all thanks to them!

Oh, I forgot to mention, Aryamann finally returned to school today. He had first been on leave for his broken nose, which had happened when he played basketball with Manik's friends and the game got intense, and then he had gone to Shimla for Navrathri break and only returned to Mumbai late last night. In one of our conversations today, I asked him why he didn't just take leave today too, but he had merely shrugged in response. After my presentation, I made sure to profusely thank him as well as Navya for having my back.

"I tried to see you during lunch break, but you weren't in class only," I whined. 

His band had been busy with something, and I couldn't find him in his class. Not wanting to linger around and draw attention, I hurried back to my classroom.   

When the final bell for our school day rang, I had mentally mapped out what my evening would look like. If luck had been on my side – which it hadn't – I would have been able to finish my homework before Manik and his friends came out to play.

"And I had two assignments to finish, which took up my whole evening, otherwise, I could have at least seen you at basketball."

"Tch, tch." He hinted, filled with amusement. 

"And amidst all this, I forgot to buy some maps from the stationary shop for my class tomorrow." My hands exasperatedly slapped my thighs.

"What kind of maps?"

"Like the India outline ones... I'm just so irritated, why am I forgetful with everything, and why can't I do anything on my own? It's like I always have to bother someone or the other, no matter what... all in all, it's been a bad day, I think."

I had mindfully left out an important encounter that took place after the last period, just as I had decided I would.

Shrugging the matter away, I said, "Enough about me, I don't want to bother you with my problems. You tell me how was your day. Where were you at lunch break?"

I heard some shuffling in the background, and then his voice became crystal-clear, like he had connected some noise-cancelling headphones or something. "I had a meeting with one of the college counsellors. Apparently, music applications require a lot more than just music. Eye-opening, really."

A mild jingle echoed somewhere, along with a soft rumble.

I laid on the bed, flat on my stomach and tucked a pillow under my belly as I pressed the phone closer to my ear. "Like what?"

"Discipline, I run miles away from that stuff... Commitment, I've never held that up before, no idea how that works... Dedication, nothing measurable I can account for, yet."

"That's a great starting point. At least you know what to work on next."

"True, but it's not a good feeling to know you suck at what you love. Give me a second, be on call." I eyed my nails with a smile and pulled at the edges with the thumb of the same hand. Unable to hear anything, I let the phone screen flash to see he was still on. Perhaps he was on mute? "Cool. Yeah, so what was I saying?"

"Haan... What did the counsellor recommend?"

"To take basketball a bit more seriously. It covers a huge ground of skillsets that translate into the career space."

Really, basketball?

"How though, it's just a sport, right?"

"I mean, there's showcasing teamwork... perseverance, and dedication in the sense that you want your team to win... discipline and commitment if I can keep at it continuously. I don't know if I can." He confessed, as I heard a jingle again. "Accha. Come to the main door."

I sat up straight, alarmed. "Now?"

"Yeah, I'm outside. Open it."

Gasping, I scrambled to my feet and peeked out the window. His bike was parked under the tree just outside our porch. I covered the mouthpiece with my palm, whispering, "Manik, I can't come now. Everyone thinks I'm asleep and if Abhi hears the main door unlock, he will suspect something."

He hissed impatiently. "Look, if you come, I'll get to be with you for some time, otherwise, I'll hang up now and ask your brother to let me in, but you won't see me until Monday."   

"Manik, I can't – Hello?" I said to the snapped line, wondering how every single time he hung up on me without even a small bye.

I was moving towards the door of my bedroom when Abhimanyu's room opened and shut, and his footsteps thudded in the corridor. Stilling in my steps, my heart hammered in my chest. The main door unlocked and in a hush-hush manner, two pairs of feet made their way up the stairs.

Pausing at my door.

"I was going to ask you if you had – um..." My eyes widened at his stutter that came from the opposite end. "...do you by any chance, I mean... my – do you have my lighter?"

What? I peeked through the keyhole.

"Yours? No," Abhi said.

"Dekhle ek baar."

"Is it not the standard one? Let me see." While Abhi's voice moved away, Manik pulled something he had tucked at his back, underneath his shirt and crouched. Moments later, a white slip passed through the gap under my door. 

I had a deja-vu to the last period of the day, when a roll of paper wrapped with a magenta ribbon bow had magically appeared in my backpack. Navya and Aryamann had been leaving the classroom along with the rest of the students, deeply invested in a debate about Patna versus Shimla and which location was better for what reasons. I had stayed back at my seat, picked it up and plucked the ends of the neat bow.

Nandini, it read, in the most elegant calligraphic font I had ever seen. Anticipation and anxiety pooled in my gut at the amount of effort someone had taken to write my name so beautifully.

Had it been from Manik?

But why would he have sent me a note when he had the option to reach me and talk to me whenever he had pleased through a text or phonecall?

I had flushed with warmth, my cheeks definitely a hue of pink, while I scanned the next few lines on the note, hopeful about its contents.

You are one of the most positive people I have ever seen, and being in the same room as you lights my life up.

I had uneasily gulped. It had not been Manik after all. It didn't sound like something Manik would say; he would instead have written something to mock me or pull my leg, he gets a kick out of those things, not secret admiration messages!

Don't ask me how I knew, Babbu, girls have intuitions about these things.

The message had been unexpected, true, but beyond that I wasn't sure how to appropriately receive it without giving anyone the wrong idea. My heart had lurched in my chest as I re-read the heartfelt words. It was indeed a kind compliment, and I wanted to be respectful and considerate of the fact that someone opened up to me.

But not when I already had a boyfriend.

A lot of effort was going into keeping the relationship hidden at school, and what started mainly as a secret because of Abhi turned into a necessity upon meeting Manik's mother. She did not strike me as the kind of woman who would approve of me being a part of her son's life. Addressing such a matter with the concerned person who wrote that note would shed light on Manik and me. 

My eyes fell on the next line: I would love to reveal myself to you, but waiting is the name of this game.

I had felt congested as I read it, and my brain had frozen at the thought of Manik finding out about it.

As such, our relationship was just beginning to take shape. It had been barely two weeks since we had properly gotten together and there were a lot of things we didn't know about each other. We were presently trying to take things one day at a time. Especially from experience, on what sort of a role trust played in his life, I knew information of that sort had the potential to destroy the little nest we were building. 

Besides, the note didn't imply anything romantic, did it?

No. It was simply a kind compliment expressed in written form that I had never received before; was there anything inappropriate about it? No.

I didn't know who the person was, and even if I did, it would not change my feelings for Manik. For all I knew, it could have very well been a kind thing another girl chose to tell me.

I had decided to forget about the note, crumpling it and stuffing it deep into my bag.

Taken by surprise now at the white slip, I picked it up and unfolded it only to find four India outline maps. A small pink note fluttered in the air, flicking and twirling. It landed at my feet, and in the most simplest lettering, the words read: Bother me any time, any day. *kiss*

Aiyappa, I think I am in love.

⭒

I am also in love. With them <3

Keep your love flowing! Lots of past and present interweaving incoming... :")