I just wanted to say as a heads-up: this chapter is a little bit of a surreal experience, especially the ending bit. If you have any questions, you're more than welcome to pop them in the comments box below and I will do my best to answer them <3 

Thank you again for being incredibly patient! So so so so much love :3

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6 October 2010

Babbu, you must be surprised to know that I'm staying a night away from home. Yes, yes, Chikkamma and Chikkappa know about it and they wholeheartedly approve but I think I owe it to you to also explain how and why this transformation took place.

Because it is our performance at Warrior High tomorrow.

After school today, a small eleven-seater van plied from SPACE Academy to Warrior High. All our pieces of luggage were stowed underneath the bus in a small compartment that opened from the outside. We deposited our bags there, during which Manik silently gazed at me with a lip between his teeth and when he was certain nobody was looking, he passed a quick flirtatious wink in my direction. That sent a whiplash in my gut.

Navya had been the first to bank a window seat, followed by Harshad and Mukti who had caught a seat diagonally in front of Navya. Manik took another window seat right behind Navya.

At that point, it was up to me to decide where I wanted to sit. Torn between taking the seat next to Manik, which undoubtedly would raise a few eyebrows yet it was the spot that my heart wanted to take, and sitting beside Navya which had been the safer option, I reluctantly admitted that it was a big enough favour on Navya's part that she hadn't pushed for more details about Manik and me.

The incident that took place at Harshad's house had surprised her and she made sure to bring it up yesterday at school, asking invariably twisted questions to put me on the spot – what classroom had Manik taken me to without her knowledge, what was the equation between him and I and if I felt anything for him. To all three of those, I mildly denied any developments until I spoke to him directly about the matter. Then this morning, after some talking and quite a bit of kissing the previous evening, I clearly stated I was trying to just be friends with him.

It would be extremely unfaithful of me to ditch an old friend at the first opportunity of finding a new friend.

Manik's grunt was a sign enough that he had been extremely miffed by my choice, and had shoved his bag beside him to express it quite physically. I pressed a smile and chattered along with Navya.

Alia looked around at the vacant seats, and then at Cabir who nodded at her from outside the bus. The girl then slowly paced past our seat and plopped next to Manik's, and without any hesitation, the bag that was thrown beside him retraced its steps and landed in his lap. I felt my whole body blaze with a peculiar feeling I had only naively experienced when I made the wrong assumption that Navya and Manik were... yuck.

As if making the most of the presented opportunity, Manik's voice was immediately much louder and animated as he engaged in some boring conversation with his partner, blocking Navya's in-depth stories from reaching my ears. I made sure to pass some rude side-eyes but none of that garnered his attention, nor erased the smirk on his face.

Cabir and Dhruv sat adjacent to them while Shahid was on his own in a single-seater next to the driver.

Our music teacher took a simple headcount, scored each of our names off her list, and then took a seat herself in the back, along with a male supervisor.

The bus ride to Lonavala itself had been a two-hour journey during which we all napped at different intervals. On random occasions, I got a knee jabbed into my back or a drumming beat just under my nape as Manik tortured my seat to his heart's content. A while later when the bus went around a deserted farm, a hill in the distance housed a park that was at a ten-minute walking distance apparently from Warrior High. There was a sign that read 'Firefly Trail'.

I beamed from the inside and got into a long monologue with Navya about how we needed to make the best of the opportunity and see the fireflies, only to realise leaving WH hostel premises at night was against the rules of the school. There was no way I could see fireflies during the day as is, and the best part of them was their alluring radiance that often appeared when two people were truly in love with each other.

The last I had seen them was in Bangalore when Chikkamma and Chikkappa had visited our hometown. I couldn't believe I was so close to seeing them again in Maharashtra or being that close to showing Manik how magnificent they were... and how far superior they were to those stupid stars he loved so dearly.

As if the fact that the two groups did not already get along was not enough, as soon as we reached Warrior High, we were assigned two dorm rooms: one for the four girls and one for the five boys. Arguments and protests came the teachers' way, along with some unhinged auctions for the teachers' suites but as tempting as the offer sounded, the proposal of boys and girls sharing an individual suite unsupervised made their minds run wild and no further consideration was given to such suggestions.

In the dinner hall that night, I realised that the platter those students ate on a daily basis had been the most average unappetising meals ever, which made me suddenly miss home. Even though it was my first time being away for a night, and I had to enjoy the experience to the fullest – as Navya advised – a part of me thought about the kind of lifestyle Abhimanyu had lived for as long as he was in the SPACE Academy hostels.

It was truly the most homesick feeling, to eat dishes that look the same and remind one of home, only for the taste to be bland and unsavoury at best.

We had met several other students who lived in Warrior High's premises in the dinner area; our opponent team too had bumped into us and struck a verbal rebuttal on those grounds, but with Harshad and Manik on the same team, their combined egos had been unmatched in comparison to Warrior High's winning band.

The only 'disadvantage' to the otherwise 'popcorn-worthy showdown' – quoting their words, by the way – had been that I had intervened before the rest of the staff members could, ending the fight before it had even begun. Our two teams had instead vouched to one-up each other at the actual competition.

The staff had performed a customary headcount at the meal arena and had been dispatching us off to our dorms when I had slipped into the girls' bathroom to wash my hands. My wet hands were latched on just as I got out, and before I could begin to panic, I was pulled behind one of the brick pillars.

It was just Manik, I reassured myself as my breathing returned to normal.

"Manik, what are you trying to do?"

"I want to show you something..."

I tried hard to control a smile that escaped onto my features and painted them with a glorious enchantment that was a symbol of how I felt around him; at least until I realised I had to be irritated at him after how he tried to tease me with Alia earlier that evening. "Now? Can't it wait until tomorrow? Manik, if we get in trouble then –" A firm palm appeared over my mouth as he pulled me into him, shutting me up completely.

"Nothing will happen, I'm there na?" And as long as he was, I felt safer than anywhere else. Or anyone else. 

⭒⭒⭒

Manik

At the sudden speed bump, my head hurled onto a bony shoulder. The clinging of bangles echoed somewhere nearby while a warm hand cupped my face and repositioned my head and I effortlessly slipped back into a dazed slumber.

In the canopy enveloped by darkness, gently locking my hand into a smaller, softer one, I caressed her palm like a fragile ornament meant only to admire – not to hold for too long, never to taint and most of all, forbidden to destroy. I sensed a glower that I disregarded as I innocently mentioned, "Arre... friends can hold hands."

Friends. What a ridiculous proposal she had suggested!? And how could it be that Manik Malhotra would so easily play along, without at least bending the rules to his desire?

"Hmm... they can," came her soft voice laced with an element of humour in it as leaves crackled under our feet with every step we took.

Only hours ago, our troop had embarked on a school bus to Lonavala, to reach Warrior High a night before the interschool performance. We were assigned to a dorm room for the five boys and one for the four girls and despite many irrational protests, our demands were unheeded because Nyonika was not going to give in without asking for a price to pay in return.

There was much to say about the events that took place on the bus, but nothing was nearly as fascinating as a small snippet of information I overheard from Nandini's conversation with Navya.

A firefly trail.

I looked down at Nandini's exasperated face that absently searched for a landmark to conclude the hike in what appeared to be oblivion.

It had enthralled her wholeheartedly when she talked about it on the bus, and the dejection on her face was apparent when she spoke of how broad daylight hindered their ability to glow to their fullest. It had instantly become my mission to take her on that walk in the night. Just to see an inkling of a smile on her.

My dislike for darkness was one thing, but having her around made the void somewhat tolerable. Added to that had been the thrill of sneaking out of a hostel in the middle of the night, something we had never gotten to do in Mumbai while residing outside of campus.

That night, dinner had been served at the hostel mess. I had been a little late to the party as I studied the gates and bribed, actually threatened, one of the guards with a huge sum to unlatch a gate after the last dinner bell.

Her eyes had softly blinked when I held her close with a hand firmly pressed over her mouth, ceasing her endless ramble and asking her to believe in me. Her heart rate normalised in my presence, and as I assured her that I was there for her and she had nothing to worry about, she had gone against her better judgment and galloped away with me towards the retreating lights, towards the back gates into the canopy behind Warrior High.

Only under the glimmers of the night sky did I properly comprehend her anxiety: hadn't she been a teacher's granddaughter? Sneaking around, hiding, and bending rules was not customary to her... yet she had shown blind faith in me as she eloped into the darkness with me, a friend who was inexplicably looking forward to any opportunity to get cosy with her, without questioning or second-guessing for once what being in my company could mean to her.

Why had she not sought anything else in return, a weakness, a pain point that she could leverage for something she desired?

Bringing her encased hand to my lips, I pressed with it a silent promise to both her and myself that I would behave appropriately in return, stunning the girl in her steps beside me. I heard something close to a hiccup from her as silence followed. She tried coyly slithering out of my clasp and I slowly drew it to my chest, spinning her to face me.

"Thank you."

In a muted whisper, she said, "For what Manik? I haven't done anything."

For trusting me completely even when I gave you so many reasons to do otherwise.

"Aise hi. Just." I regarded her flushed cheeks with delicate appreciation, unable to truly convey the extent of my gratitude for her compassion, grace, and stunning ability to forgive or overlook my flaws. "A blank thank you. Friends thank each other." I stated as a matter of fact.

Nandini's lingering amusement left her when she hesitantly mentioned, "After tomorrow's performance, we'll be back to rivals, right? I won't be able to see you for hours at a stretch anymore..."

"Hmm... kal se," I muttered before correcting myself to a language she could understand. "From tomorrow..." For that night, her company was going to be the highlight.

Pushing those ugly thoughts aside, Nandini took a small step back dragging my hand along with her, falling into a beautiful beam of moonlight shining through spaces between the twigs of a dense tree. "You said you wanted to show me something?"

I grinned, stepping diagonally behind her and switching her hand to my other vacant one that craved her soothing gentleness and staring into the sky, "Actually... I thought you could show me... what you thought was more beautiful than my stars."

Her hair covered her face in an instant as she moved sideways, jerking her head to hide from me. "Manik, you won't see them here... I mean – for that, two people must –"

Caught by a swarm of flickering lights around me, I was mesmerised by the little glowing bugs that circled each other in a joyful dance. "Nandini, look over there!" I pointed with the hand holding hers.

Her gaze magically followed the small dots of yellow warm light. I was so lost in the beauty of those fireflies that I had failed to realise the girl beside me had both her hands around her mouth struggling to compose herself, her eyes brimming with bittersweet emotions while her heart felt full and heavy at a significant loss.

"Those fireflies... they're glowing!" I marvelled at the sight above me as two hands magnetically wrapped around my waist and the side of Nandini's face slammed on my chest.

My heart thundered at her remarkable warmth before I even registered Nandini clinging to me. That was the first time in my entire life that I had been held so dearly by a girl... a girl who could not just be a friend, a part of my family... yet who managed to overthrow several of my plans haywire with just a glance into her eyes.

Attraction, that was the power of attraction.

"My mother... she loved them." The confession was enhanced by the silent trusted space around us which had become a comfortable haven until then. I stilled in her embrace for a solid few moments, spellbound by the mere feeling of being anchored by someone as fiercely vulnerable and as bravely expressive as she was. Indeed a new enchanting feeling it was.

Nandini tightened her hold, snuggling in.

I naturally brought my arms around her in an attempt to comfort and cocoon her from her sorrows while rejoicing the beautiful butterflies for as long as I could – the magnificence of being trusted with and tended to, without second thoughts, as a heartwarming eruption of pain seeped through the cages in which my demons miraculously rested without a protest.

The speckles of light surrounding us slowly increased in numbers and their intensities illuminated the whole canopy with their wonderful glow while shooing away the frightening soul-sucking darkness from even our shadows.

She lifted her chin and sought my gaze from the dip in my ribcage like I was the perfectly crafted star that had been dropped from the skies specifically for her. The dampness from her face had transferred to my shirt and soaked through the cloth but her arms were still wound around me. "I promise."

I tucked some of those salted tendrils of hair behind her ear. "Promise what, Nandini?"

"It's a blank promise." She explained with a smile that could claim any heart in the world. "A promise that comes without a clause. Without conditions." I stayed muted. "You can use it whenever you please, however you please. No questions, no explanations, no justifications necessary."

Impossible...

With a shameless smile that showed no authenticity or amusement, I said, "Nothing comes without a clause or price in my world, Nandini."

"And nothing comes with a price tag in my world, Manik." The strength of her conviction was no match to my desperately caged demons. What stood before me was a replica of the girl I dated... with just a tweak of a difference – the smile that I eagerly scouted was missing.

Overtaken by a certain urge that wanted nothing more but her healing presence in my hollow unfulfilling life, I held her hand again firmly and continued tracing the lines in her palm, beaming to myself.

"It's so perfectly flawed, isn't it?" We are, I wanted to say, together.

"Isn't that where its beauty lies?" She asked innocently, meeting my eyes but almost looking past them.

As if someone had put a ladle down my throat and stirred my guts, I uneasily gulped and asked her the million-dollar question. "Don't you regret it, all of it?"

"Oh, every day of my life but what to do, Manik Malhotra? This is how it's meant to be. Give and take, isn't it? You hurt me once by abandoning me, but I hurt you for a lifetime by never returning to you."

Breathing had suddenly become an extremely challenging task to perform. With wide-opened eyes that were struggling to focus, I blankly stared at the unfamiliar girl who was nothing like the naive teenager I used to sneak around the neighbourhood to meet. "Never?" came my impulsive panic-stricken voice.

"Never."

Alarmed by the surreal nature of the occurrence, I jumped in my seat, startling the others.

Navya's hand quickly rubbed my back, "Are you okay?" she asked leaning in.

I scanned the area, the jeep we were headed back in, and then finally my hands, which were holding each other. Not hers. Asleep. I had just fallen asleep after nearly 48 hours of no sleep. That was the only way to explain the unnerving scenario that had unravelled before my eyes while I had dozed off.

"We're nearly there," She mumbled in a caring manner as she pulled out a water bottle for me.

Still recovering from the devastating realisation that it had all been a mindless dream, I dazedly asked, "Where?"

"The park, Manik, you were the one who suggested it this morning." I recollected exactly which park she was talking about, the one at the end of the trail.

Impacted by Dhruv's attack that morning, in a jiffy I had suggested revisiting the park as the last place on our list before returning to Mumbai to play for Khurana.

Now the thought of that trail or even the idea of visiting the place made me nauseous.

"We can turn back to the highway, it's getting late as such," I stated before checking my watch, which read the time just a little past noon.

"It'll take us barely ten minutes each way, we've come this far Manik, let's do the short hike na?" Alia asked and before I could refuse, the colourful billboard that welcomed us into the suburb danced around my window as the jeep went down a hairpin bend.

Never in my life had I felt that queasy or unsettled, and I thoughtlessly channeled Nandini's Aiyappa to give me the willpower to pull through the rest of the afternoon without shattering.  

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A much-needed longer note of immense gratitude towards readers who are very understanding and respectful of how much effort this story demands of me :P 

I'm not one of those writers who has asked for target votes and comments so naturally, the engagement I receive is much much less in comparison to many other authors on this platform who have a highly responsive audience. Often it makes me wonder whether there is a point with me staying up late nights to pen down the chapters, but the quality of support I've garnered is truly a blessing to me <3

Last week I read a few beautiful comments from three of my favourite readers and it literally made me cry happy tears! :") There are a few spammers (some new ones too, you make me so happy!) whom I absolutely love from the bottom of my heart, you all continue to fuel my passion for writing this story for you :) <3

This has been one of my longest brewing concepts and it takes an incredible amount of emotional energy to fund this story and foster it into the shape it desires to take. While the overarching idea and several of the clues have been set in stone in my mind since the start, the creative direction it is taking in how it needs to be told has been entirely uncalled for and I am seriously surprised by how emotional it has been panning out <3 

So when I say I love writing this book, it's truly because as a writer too, I'm taken by surprise when a part comes together and almost a fangirl of it (just as an invested reader would be :P ) So thank you so so much for understanding this and being incredibly supportive even though it must be frustrating to wait for updates <3 

So thank you so so much!!! If you liked it, please don't forget to drop a vote or comment to share your support and love and I'll see you again in a couple of days with an update to make up for the short length <3