Even if one reader has made it this far, huge thank you for having faith in me <3 

Your support means a lot, trust me. 

⭒

Manik

On the brink of the patio just beside the sliding door, each band member had a glass in our hands, and Abhi joined as we stood in a semi-circle with crossed arms, having bombarded him with several questions. Cabir was at the centre of it, sitting with a leg criss-crossed and another knee upright. His arm lazily hung on it while a hand gripped a cold glass lightly coated with liquor at the base.

"It's nothing like that, you guys..." He masked all his emotions behind a chuckle and rested his head on the wall.

Abhimanyu, having brought his bike and hence was not drinking with us, borrowed my glass. For a second I thought he was going to swing the alcohol in our friend's face, but he merely took a small sip and replaced the cup in my hand.

Behind Cabir's plastered smile, I saw a flicker of devastation that mirrored mine. Only in much larger of a magnitude, as if sucking the will out of his entire existence. A subdued fire in me reignited from an instinctive blazing fear. I could no longer protect him from the cause of his sorrow, for its all-consuming power had claimed me too... on some levels.

I placed the icy glass over my temple, the coolness of it soothing my racing thoughts to some degree. He and I had similar backstories, and despite Cabir being a lot more jovial than me, at the heart of it, he and I aligned on a lot of opinions. And to see him in such despair felt like a wake-up call. I had to see her.

Mukti tapped her foot, her voice drawing me back to the current happenings, "I shouldn't be saying this but Harshad is right, music has been so important to all of us... without a reason, there's nothing that could take it away from us, tell us what the matter is." She prompted, and my throat constricted at the tone as if addressed to me. Cabir made space for someone in his life, that was for sure, but to what extent... and how much had it destroyed him?

Cabir twitched his lips, eyeing the girls who had an arm around each other. "Trust me, it's nothing... kuch nahi hai... we're in that zone na, of composing romantic music, toh I can't help but think about how single I am!" He passed a fleeting look to the rest of us and looked at the nearly empty glass in his hands as if he wasn't even convinced by his own answer.

Where could Nandini be if I had gone looking for her? Had she perhaps still been in the basement with the rest of her group? Smiling? Laughing? Did being around them make her... happy?

"Bro, look around... Alia, Dhruv, I, Manik... who isn't single?" From the corner of my eye, I noticed Mukti seeking my direction but I had been too lost to catch it. Mindlessly, I turned towards the sliding door and gazed through the glass into the distance. "We'll do one thing, let's all chill for a little bit, and then you guys can get back to practice, how does that sound?"

The girls' voices snapped my attention to the group. Dhruv grabbed Cabir's glass and said, "I'll bring more." As Dhruv disappeared through the door, I couldn't help but look again in that direction after which Abhimanyu's arm linked around my shoulder. I gulped and gave him a soft guilty smile.

"You want to see Navya, right? Go... go, I'll take care of it," He urged as I was about to retort, and decided it was not the right time to begin explaining anything. I needed to see Nandini.

⭒⭒⭒

"I don't understand how these guys are so highheaded, do they even realise how important this is to me?" Harshad remarked nastily, spewing some vile cuss words many of which were targetted solely at Manik. I took a deep breath to keep myself from defending him.

Shahid got up from his drum seat and strolled around the room. "This is exactly why we should have not teamed up with them,"

"Let's thank the genius in our group who wants nothing but our downfall," Harshad slowly clapped while gesturing to me. Already feeling quite low from several other events that transpired over the last few days and after feeling so replaceable in Manik's life, being yet again blamed for something that was not my fault acted as a trigger, brimming tears in my eyes.

Why did I have to cry at everything? It was so frustrating that I could not keep my own emotions in check. Why could I not be angry and rude like Harshad and Manik were at each other?

Navya jumped between us, clasping me from the side.

"One second... how is Nandini responsible for all this? Even Mukti wanted the two bands to play together, why are you not blaming her? If anything, she is the one who has ties in both..."

Harshad took a deadly step forward, snapping his fingers just as Shahid swooped in and held him back, "Don't you dare bring my girlfriend into this,"

"Guys, stop it... we can't be like Fab 5 and fight amongst ourselves yaar!" The comment seemed to calm Harshad's temper but his glare did not falter. Navya who was seething with rage took her phone and stormed out of the room.

Wanting a secluded space to compose myself, I followed her. "Great, now she's going too! I'm stuck with a whole bunch of fools!" Harshad growled to my back as the door swung. I escaped up the stairs to the ground floor to grab a glass of water.

On one end of the kitchen was an alcohol cupboard in front of which Dhruv was standing, scanning through the collection. I stopped in my hurried tracks, and quickly wiped my tears, making my way too. I mumbled a soft 'hey' and rummaged the cabinets closest to me for a glass.

Dhruv looked at me for a few moments in silence as I was busy looking for a cup, and then reached for one from the top cabinet in front of him and said, "Sorry... for stopping practice... I think we... would need a few minutes... together. Would you... like to join us... for a drink too?" I curtly mumbled a 'no' while taking the extended glass and my voice cracked before I could respond 'thank you', alerting him.

He took two steps forward and saw the teardrop that just escaped my eyes and was making its way down my round cheek. "What happened?" He asked softly as I shook my head, my gaze still fixed on the floor. His hand rose in the air as it nearly brushed my tears.

"DHRUV!" came the most despicable voice, and loud hurried footsteps followed. I sniffled, turning away as I wiped my cheeks, feeling his alternating stare on me and his best friend. "Cabir ko beer chahiye tha, tu leke jaayega, huh? I'll just... freshen up and come," The last part he had clearly said while looking at me, the gesture making me swallow painfully.

Why was he always around when I was at my most vulnerable? I moved to the water purifier to fill my glass, only to realise it was too high for me to reach.

Dhruv nodded, pulled out a couple of beers from the chiller, and exited.

I tiptoed, hopped on them, and tried to reach the lever, failing each time. Once Dhruv was a fair distance away, Manik closed some space between us, took the glass from me, and filled it himself. I meddled with my nails, feeling conscious of his presence.

As the filled glass came towards me, he said, "I need to talk to you,"

"But I don't want to," I snatched the cup and turned around, taking two steps.

A hand curled around my elbow gently. "Listen, don't create a scene... come with me,"

I jerked out of his grip, thanking Aiyappa that the arm he held was not holding the glass of water... I did not have the energy to be cleaning up after a mess in my current state. "No! Just leave me alone! Just let me be!" I wailed, assaulted by a fresh wave of despair.

Manik stared at me dumbfounded for a couple of seconds, and then as if triggered by a flash of images that tormented him, he grunted, "Goddamnit!" and aggressively kicked a cabinet. He yelped as the impulsive action snubbed his toe and he hopped on his healthy foot. I shook at the visible frustration and then set my glass aside and dropped to my knees to examine his injury.

While my fingers had barely touched him, Manik staggered back and shook his foot on the spot, mumbling "I'm... okay..." On the afternoon of our performance, our positions had been switched and Manik was tending to my wound on his knees... today, he wasn't letting me do the same back.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked meekly, dismissing my tears as I stood up and met his eyes.

He was looking at me with a somewhat mesmerised appreciation but when he blinked, even that slight emotion was gone and was replaced by a distant cold one. He scanned the surroundings. "Not here... follow me,"

Hurt for the uncountable time, I spat, "Why, are you afraid your new girlfriend is going to come and see us together or what?"

"What?! What are you talking about?" His face cringed.

"Stop pretending like you don't know anything! I am not blind!"

He grabbed my arm, pulling me into him. "You quite clearly are, and deaf too since you're so fucking unaware of your decibel levels." Eyeing the area again, he led me towards an interior part of the house, through a corridor, and opened the door to a bathroom.

In the reflection, he was fiddling with the lock. I swung around. "What are you doing?"

"Do you want someone to come in and see us?"

"You said you just wanted to talk–if someone wants to use the bathroom, what will they think?"

"I don't care."

I huffed and threw my hands in the air. "Right... when have you ever..."

As if I should not have said those words, Manik's hands came down in a swift manner on either side of me, caging me to the wall. A breath locked in my windpipe as his chest gently pressed into mine, and I struggled to regain some composure in the sudden threatening physical proximity.

"Why did you send those cufflinks back?" He whispered on my forehead, and I shut my eyes tightly, desperately wanting some space from him so I could think coherently and frame a fitting response. "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

After a weirdly long silence, I opened my eyes to the deceptively handsome man before my eyes, and several moments later, the words managed to creep out of my vocal cords, "Yes. I don't want anything at all from you..."

His hands dropped from my sides and slid down my arms, encircling my dangling palms before holding them and gazing at them. "Why, you hate me that much or what?" He half-chuckled while drawing circles with his thumbs on the backs of my hands. I looked at his delicate touch that seemed so uncharacteristic of his current demeanour and then glanced at his eyes which were glimmering at our linked hands.

When he made eye contact with me, the humour disappeared. "Do you hate me?" My lips did not move but Manik had appeared suddenly distressed by his question and promptly added. "Nah, you can't... right? Otherwise, you would not have let me win the toss..."

An inkling of suspicion rose from the depths of my delusional heart... a small trickle of hope that Manik could not bear the thought of me hating him.

"That was just luck," I muttered, utterly devastated by the crushing chokehold his tone had on me.

"No, you did that because you want me to forgive you," He said softly and lifted one of my hands to his lips, placing a soft peck on my knuckles, sending a bolting shock through my body. I slowly blinked, feeling charmed by a series of sentences that I was beginning to realise were directed at me, but reflected him. Why was I pleased by it?

I responded, "I don't want anything from you..." He drew the hand he kissed further up and placed it over a shoulder, closing a bit of the gap between us.

"I think Cabir–he... likes... he likes someone... and it's one-sided," He said, grazing the cheek that Dhruv was about to touch merely moments ago, brushing away the dry trail of a tear.

Not expecting that gentle gesture, or for that matter any information about him or his friends, I took a moment to believe my own ears.

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know... I just get that feeling... because he's so devastated most of the time. I've known him since third standard... he used to be the class joker..." He evidently delved into a flashback as he looked at the other linked hand, that continued drawing circles.

"Alia and Mukti are so entangled with Harshad that they can't see it and Abhimanyu only knows him since ninth, I don't expect him to understand Cabir as well as I do, and Dhruv... he has his own baggage to deal with." I could not believe it. THE Manik Malhotra... was sharing his thoughts?

He looked into my eyes, his free hand trailing the side of my face, softly tucking some loose strands behind my ear. "Still we've all tried getting him to talk about it but he keeps pushing it under the carpet... You know, he used to be the happiest of the group but now we're struggling to make him smile." He glanced at my lips, a finger tracing my jaw and approaching them.

Feeling increasingly fearful of what could potentially follow, I held his hand and separated it from my face. "You of all people should be the last person to talk about someone's smile." It was not a taunt, merely a gentle statement but it had hit a chord in Manik.

"Yeah... I–I know," He said, dropping my hands and taking a step back.

His lost warmth, alongside my fragile aching heart, was adding fuel to my angst... reminding me how those moments of delicateness I experienced could not be a figment of reality. How many days and nights had I wished to be listened to in this manner, to get one opportunity to be heard out instead of all the conclusions he drew for himself on my behalf? How he had left me all alone without remorse...

"Anyways, why are you telling me all this? If I remember what you said correctly, you don't trust me, right?"

His eyes shut momentarily, and I wondered if I had been too harsh in the way I said it because the sheer blankness on his face was unfamiliar to witness. "I wanted some advice... since you have two brothers, you might know how to cheer him up..."

"I think he just needs someone who can listen to him... without prejudices and judgments. Be that person for him... and everything will be okay."

He nodded, and before I could realise it, Manik had left. 

⭒⭒⭒

2 October 2010

After many many moons, today felt like a worthwhile day.

Before we broke off for lunch, we had fully finished our song in the basement of Harshad's house, his music studio. Every instrument and beat had harmoniously blended into the most artistic piece of music a bunch of teenagers could compose. I could not speak for everyone but I was beyond marvelled at what we could come up with.

Yesterday Harshad had spontaneously asked me how I felt about Aryamann, and unsure of what sort of answer he was expecting, I gave an elaborate response with regards to him being left out and not having company anymore. It had struck a chord with him... which was why Aryamann was present at our practice session this morning, much to the displeasure of both Manik and him.

At the end of practice, Navya Aryamann and I had formed a small circle behind the drumset. Aryamann leaned in and excitedly whispered, "I cannot believe we're all actually in Harshad's house. Do you know how much Navya used to dream about this moment?" I pressed my smile.

My merciless mind which spent the entirety of the week conjuring up scenarios of Navya and Manik together had finally resorted to peace yesterday when out of curiosity I approached Navya about Manik and she laughed hysterically and called me an idiot for thinking anything between the two. She had also snarkily commented something along the lines of 'his eyes are only on you', something she had been alluding to since the day he pinned his cufflinks on my dress.

Navya palmed her face in embarrassment and in a hushed voice responded, "Matarani! I can't believe I used to be so obsessed with him, he's sometimes extremely rude,"

Aryamann shrugged, "Not with everyone, clearly with Mukti he's a completely different person,"

"That's not entirely true," I said, thinking about the endless complaints Mukti too had about him.

"It's very exciting from afar but... I don't know if I could realistically be with someone who is like that... like horrible to everyone but just nice to me," Navya said, and I thought about a certain person who was so kind to everyone and nice to everyone except particularly me.

"Ahem, hey guys!" came his voice from over my head, and I mentally rolled my eyes at the devil's presence. "Good practice session, I must say. And since we're performing together soon, I think it's only fair that I extend a hand of friendship to your group..."

"Friendship?" I questioned suspiciously at his focus which was only on Aryamann.

"Yeah... and the first sign of true friendship is sportsmanship. Come join us this evening for a basketball match." Manik said to the boy in our group who was a novice at the game if not better.

Aryamann hesitantly rejected the offer politely and after a few back-and-forth chats between the two, Manik seemingly convinced the boy to come along and departed from our group with a charming smirk, leaving the studio with a hand smugly in his pocket.

I took the water bottle I was holding and hurried behind him, meeting his lazy strides in the corridor in front of the stairs. I gripped a bicep and forcefully turned him around with my strength, and badgered him with, "What are you trying to do?"

He looked down at my hold innocently and then gaped at me, "Arrey? I'm just going to the bathroom... do you want to come with me?"

"What?!" Slyly thinking of the last time he locked the two of us in a ground-floor bathroom, Manik was sneakily smiling as he stepped ahead and I retreated to the space under the staircase. "How dare you?" I snapped while rooted in my spot.

"Relax... I was just trying to be nice with him,"

"What nice?"

"You guys were all laughing and giggling together, joking around, wasn't it? So I thought I could also take part in it... at the court," He said nonchalantly and plucked the bottle out of my other hand.

I cornered him under the stairs, his head bumping the underside of a step with a gentle thud. "I don't trust you, you're trying to challenge him,"

"You don't trust me? Why, what have I done to deserve such blasphemy?" He asked with a hint of hilarity.

"Just the same that I did... nothing, but it's not like you want to hear my side of it," I wanted to punch the smirk out of his face when popping the flip-top of my pink Tupperware bottle, he raised it. "That's my water bottle!"

It lowered. "So? Is the water cursed for anyone else who drinks it or something?" I crossed my arms at first, and then my eyes widened as his lips touched the rim of the bottle... the spout I usually sipped on. Wanting to intervene, a hand came up in the air and he clasped it firmly, pulling me into his chest.

Feeling muddled by my hands on his broad torso and my head directly under his chin, I froze for a solid few seconds inhaling his cologne while he took a big gulp of the liquid. His Adam's apple bobbed at my eye level as my heartbeat raced; it felt extremely intimate to be that close to a man, and I was sure Manik was aware of it. Except he wasn't smirking this time.

He snapped the vessel closed and vaguely mumbled, "What?"

"Why did you sip on my bottle?" I asked while putting some space between us and trying to hide the wave of heat that had made it across my cheeks and most likely blazed on them.

"Because it's yours, what else do you want me to say?"

My stupid heart fluttered at the confession. Despite being irritated with Manik, the past week had acted as a salve on my neglected heart, and being both in the company of some well-wishers as well as Manik Malhotra himself had made the pain dissipate. A treacherous smile emerged from the corners of my lips that I tried to press behind, so as to not reveal my naivety to him, "I'm still very angry with you,"

"By all means, go ahead. I like your anger more than your tears,"

⭒

So confession... this past week I've had second thoughts about scrapping the whole story and rewriting it :P The essence of the tale, I still wish to tell... the immaturity of teenagers, the impulsiveness, and feeling like small mishaps are the end of the world are all themes I resonate with very deeply... 

The size of the cast and intertwining their arcs is a bit more challenging than I imagined :P Given this is my first proper full-fledged story (that I have felt drawn to even after 5 years), I might have gone a bit overboard :P

But then I remembered the few of you who are still here :") I owe it to you guys to complete this tale before I think of revising/cleaning it up/spending more time on chapters I've already written. 

I hope this book is not a waste of time kind of read for you guys because even if one person enjoys it, I will update it for you <3

KYY was always a show about friendship and love over family, so wanted to retain that concept when I started this book, but I also see quite a few jarring flaws in my work over the years that I do wish to improve... in due time :")

Please share your love wherever and whenever possible, it makes me very happy <3