Two book updates in one day?! Am I crazy or am I crazy? :P

Last update felt too short, so here's a slightly longer one.

Lots and lots of love <3

⭒

Manik

Sleep was far far away that night. In that deathly hour of facing my own demons, I needed comfort. Her comfort.

27 September 2010

In the morning assembly, both NH3 and Fab 5 had cleared the audition, and the next round was going to happen at another school under the same parent organisation of SPACE Academy. The school is called Warrior High and a troop from there would be our opponent.

As scary as it was, the effects of my previous performance had put me in a bubble of emotions that hit very close to home... that kind of comfort it provided.

The performance was scheduled for Thursday next week, the 7th of October. Then we had a ten day holiday for Navrathri, and I could not wait to go back to Bangalore for that period. Meet my friends, be with my Ammamma, and get pampered by everyone I've loved from a distance even today. 

We were all called into the music room after assembly. Our music master had laid out two options for us: the first was a rebuttle, where Fab 5 and NH3 would go head-to-head and whoever would win would go to the semis with Warrior High; the second option was for us to combine forces and perform together against a single opponent. The groups started arguing with each other and voices blending, causing a whole lot of chaos, that even the music master who was initially mediating left the room for some peace and quiet.

And then there was Manik and Harshad who came head to head with each other, one of them grabbing a collar while the other restraining his opponent's arms. The fierce aggression between them was exuding boundlessly in the small space. Alia and Mukti were confused as to what to do to separate the two, knowing full well neither of them were physically powerful enough to intervene, and Mukti sympathetically looked at me for ideas.

"Okay guys, let's do a vote, who thinks we should do a versus battle, come to my left," I said keeping my head held high. Both Manik and Harshad appeared on that same side, rolling their eyes and silently mocking each other. Mukti and I shook heads at each other–those guys were just impossible.

Harshad looked sarcastically at his partner, "How ironic right, ki ek cheez mein toh humaare thoughts milte hai, Mr. Manik Lo–"

I did not understand what Harshad was saying but it didn't take a genius to know that he was instigating Manik, so I diffused the situation by interrupting him, "And those who think we should perform together, come to my side," Manik tried to meet my eyes, looking for the answer on whether I was helping him or was against him, but I did not return his look.

Dhruv was the first to join me, torn between Manik's and Harshad's rivalry and resorting to this option to keep himself sane. Mukti and Alia too joined my side instead of their brother's and best friend's respectively, which made me really think: how had Harshad single-handedly manage to significantly impact every single one of their lives in such an intense manner, that everyone in Fab 5 had been entangled with Harshad's animosity?

Cabir took a chair and seated himself as the audience. Great, at least one of them had been unaffected.

"Shahid, what are you waiting for? Come on bro," Harshad prompted, and Shahid suspiciously looked at the group around me, surrounded by Fab 5, and then joined Harshad.

Navya was probably going to join Harshad's side, she would do anything to get on Harshad's good books. At least she could dismiss those feelings as just a crush, whereas I... what could I even name those feelings I felt for Manik?

For the first time that morning, I glanced in Manik's direction after knowing he was busy somewhere else. He was taking a seat on a chair, tweaking his guitar but as his head flicked up, my attention returned to the group and Navya came to my side.

She received a big glare from Harshad, that was gut-wrenching to watch. An instinctive need to protect her came over me, and I put an arm over her shoulder. She leaned in, resting on me. Mukti too gave her a small smile, but Navya didn't catch it.

Our side had the majority of the votes. I made an observation that the only boy that did join our side was Dhruv. It further strengthened my faith in the power of female friendships. They could be the most fulfilling friendships if they were given that kind of space in our lives.

"I think the numbers speak for themselves," Mukti said. Whether or not Cabir had voted, the results would have been the same. Harshad rolled his eyes, then took his guitar and left. Navya was a little hurt at Harshad's withdrawal from her.

This was not the first time he was hurting her. On multiple occasions as we practiced for our previous performance together, Harshad would become snappy every now and then and lash out at the rest of us. He seemingly liked Shahid the most, almost treated him like a sibling while he had been cordial with me–having chosen me into his band and respected me as a teammate at least. I was slowly beginning to think the guy cared only about himself... and to an irrational degree as well. Perhaps that was why Manik hated that I had been on his team.

His moods were mostly reserved for Navya who seemed like an indispensable candidate, but she also was the most affected by him, brushing off her tears as if they meant nothing and put on a smile for the rest of us to see. In a lot of ways, that paralleled with my current state of mind too. 

The first period ended and we all had to leave, as the music room was going to be occupied by another class. Fab 5 and NH3 made two groups in the middle of the room.

"I don't think we have enough time to practice, especially with these guys," Cabir said as he waved at us, pouting as he tucked the drums behind his back.

Harshad threatened to take a step forward, but Shahid held him back as he stated in a demeaning tone, "We have to meet up after school, no other way,"

Aiyappa saved us with the follow-up bell. Our second period of the day was History–my favourite one–especially with Raghav Sir teaching us. I pulled Navya and left before the other students followed.

"After Raghav Sir's class, can you come with me to drop off my costume in the theatre room?" Navya turned to me and nodded, losing herself in her thoughts momentarily.

She shook her head and drew close to me, "By the way, your costume had that tear right? Did you manage to fix it?"

"Chikkamma... my aunty, she sew it back," I said with a smile, glad that it was repairable, otherwise Chikkappa would have been very unhappy paying a few hundred rupees to the theatre club as compensation.

There was silence for a few moments, as Navya looked in my direction a couple of times but had not said anything. Later, she put those reservations aside and asked gently, "And those clips?"

"I wanted to give them back to Manik through Abhi, but I was afraid he might ask more questions, so..."

"I can give it,"

"Really?"

She nodded excitedly. Why was she so happy to meet Manik? Was she not scared of their group anymore?

"Yeah, it's no problem, you've done so much for me." We reached our desk where Aryamann had placed a notebook but gone to the bathroom. I searched through my bag and taking the two pins out, I gave them one final look. Had we been together, that would have been his first gift to me; and I would have cherished it forever.

But there was no point crying over spoilt milk. Those clips were the last bits of baggage that I had been carrying of a non-existent bond.

I dropped them into her open palm.

Raghav Sir had still not come. It had been over five minutes since the period started. While the rest of the class was chattering, I was walking towards the staff room to check if he was present today. He was three doors away from the staff room, having just entered a classroom. He probably had forgotten that we had his class today. I followed him to that room.

When I was about to push the door, it flung open in the opposite direction, knocking me in the jaw. "Ow!" Raghav had quickly sneaked out, guarding the entrance.

"Nandini, what are you doing here? Everything okay?"

"Sir, I came to look for you. We have your class now,"

"Oh today is Monday, I almost forgot. Yes, let's go," He seemed in a little bit of a rush. We were over ten minutes late, probably that was why.

⭒⭒⭒

Manik

In the music room during first period of that Monday morning after our performance, Nandini had pretended I didn't exist at all. At first, I had shrugged it off, but during second period, it had been slowly clawing my brain that Nandini had finally realised how intolerable I was, that I should not even be spared one glance; I was not even worth that. And I had been right in not trusting her. Between the break of second and third period, the mere scenario had driven me crazy.

I sprung from my desk, startling the others, and made an excuse to get some fresh air. Two steps in a certain direction brought me face to face with the most annoying girl in this school.  

I glared at her. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Do you have to be angry all the time or what?! Nandini asked me for a favour, so that's why I came."

"What favour?" I snapped. She opened a fist, revealing my cufflinks. The ones I had pinned on Nandini's dress. I clenched my fists, scowling at her. "I don't want it back, if she doesn't want it, she can throw it somewhere... I don't care,"

Navya palmed her mouth with her empty hand. "Haw! They look so expensive... what do you mean by throw it?" She should have been thanking her Matarani that I hadn't tossed her across the corridor, or worse, shoved it down her throat. "Okay I'll hold on to it for you, whenever you guys get together, I'll give it to her," she said pacifyingly, eyeing me from the corner of her eyes.

I crossed my arms in a jerk, and she jumped in fear, "Good, keep dreaming of that day... because that won't happen," I said the last part gritting my teeth.

She gulped and took one step back. "Don't give up so easily, I'll help you win her heart,"

God, her endless chatter was starting to give me a headache. How did Nandini deal with her on a daily basis?

After rolling my eyes, I impatiently asked, "Why are you annoying me, hmm? What's the real reason, did Harshad send you here to get a live report everything happening in my life?"

"Wow, bhalai ka koi zamaana hi nahi hai! Harshad did nothing of that sort! Besides, he doesn't even look at me acchese," She said, looking at her feet. One sensible thing she had mentioned.

"Tell me about it! Jab bhi main usko dekhu, there's only tears for me, no smile aur smile ka toh choddo... usko meri taraf bhi nahi dekhna hai. Which I'm honestly fine with... like I don't care ki woh smile kare ya nahi!" As the outburst unravelled itself, I looked sideways.

Nandini was pushing me to limitless insanity.  

"Tumhe bhi Harshad ki smile dekhni hai?" Navya asked meekly with a teasing smile, which straightened as I shot her another glare. "Don't worry, main toh kisi ko bhi nahi bataungi, I just want to help my friend to be happy," I scoffed. Happy. Happy and Manik did not fit in the same line together. "Lekin uske liye... you need to be less angry around her,"

"Haan. And that, with my track record toh is impossible, I'm telling you,"

"The first step to winning a girl's heart is being kind. Do something nice for her, or someone around her."

God, that dumb girl. I did not even bother wasting any energy responding to her. I turned around and walked back to the class I came out of. Being kind, what bullshit, I thought as I strolled at a leisurely pace. Pausing in my step, I looked to my shoulder. The stupid girl was still standing in the same spot, as if waiting. "...and yeah, be grateful that... Harshad doesn't give a fuck about you, because he is extremely dangerous when he does," Navya nodded, and I resumed walking.

The next thing I needed to do was to be kind around her.

⭒⭒⭒

Cabir

"What the fuck is going on?" I waved my hands in the air, thoroughly confused as I paced back and forth in my room at eleven in the morning. We were all supposed to be out for brunch by now. Around eight in the morning, the news that Diyah had left to Manchester came through my phone. I checked the message and drifted back to sleep, only to realise it wasn't a dream. I called for an emergency meeting.

Nothing was going according to plan.

Alia sat on my bed, biting the skin around her fingernails as she said, "I thought you said Manik and her will patch up and everything will be okay."

Well, I thought I knew Manik well enough but clearly not. Besides, what would I tell Manik's dad? He had so many hopes attached to our trip to India, but the way things were playing out was not looking good. After all, Mr. Malhotra was the only one who had my back since school ended, who gave me a life beyond. I owed him everything and part of my payback was my plan.

Dhruv read the tension on my face and put his guitar down from his lap. "He read Nandini's diary, didn't he?" I wanted to nod, but who even knew anymore? Nandini's point of view should have put some sense into him, and made him realise running away from his problems does nothing good.

"This whole thing feels like such a waste of time, we've made practically no progress on the album and now Manik's gone bonkers, that is not to say his screws were tighter before by the way! Puura plan bigaad diya chutiye ne!"

"What plan are you talking about, Cabir?" Dhruv asked, and I mentally slapped myself.

"And Nyonika can? She freaking hates Manik to the core of whatever part of her heart remains, which isn't much, trust me."

"Not Nyonika, idiots, Nandini. That's why I brought him here."

Dhruv tried to join the pieces himself from the conversations we had in the past. "You said you wanted... him to... feel love again, and that Nandini... would do that, but..."

It was time for some much awaited answers, and I was partly okay with sharing them at that point. It had been too stressful singlehandedly shouldering the responsibility of sorting out others' lives. "I... I promised Mr. Malhotra that the Manik that would return to Manchester would be one he can control again,"

Alia shook her head in disbelief, "How could you, Cabir?"

"That's why... you brought him to Nandini's diary... to break his last straw," Dhruv asserted, deeply sighing. I was not pure evil, that was not the only thing I did, I also brought him a lifeline, his girlfriend, to save him from the mess I made. If he patched up with her, and truly confessed all his troubles to her, our music album would still go ahead and Manik would have found a way to heal himself, and rectify his broken bond with his father.

But if Manik wanted to destroy himself, who could stop him from that? That was not my doing. "I'm not proud of it, but I owe Mr. Malhotra," I confessed.

"What about the album then? What about your career, you're putting your big break–and every other band member's–on the line to accomplish your stupid mission?" Alia was shaken by a certain realisation she was struggling to believe.

"Arrey nahi socha tha uske baare main, kisi bhi baare mein nahi socha tha itna!"

It was true, and the fact that my plan was so flawed in its approach brought tears to my eyes. I did not think about anything or anyone else except for Manik's downfall, not even myself and what the future held for me. The person I had become was not the Cabir I knew. This... this was the kind of thing Harshad would do. And that was the exact thing that was breaking Alia too. 

"Cabir, you're impossible! You're worse than Manik! Manik toh self destructs, but you... you're taking everyone down with you!"

How was I reduced to this? Yes, everything was snatched away from me. Everything. My friends, my pillars of support in every walk of childhood, my love to whom I gave my everything in my adolescence and was left empty handed, and my peace that became a puppet in the hands of Manik Malhotra for all of my adulthood. All those mishaps reduced me to this juncture in life where I nearly sacrificed my music too: all for a payback to Mr. Malhotra.

"It's so easy for you with your perfect life to come and point fingers at me!" I cried, spitting venom with every word that left my lips.

Dhruv alternated looks between the two of us, neither of us were being rational. Both of us were hurting, so he took a neutral stand as he warned, "Cabir, don't,"

"Nahi, aaj bolne do mujhe. Tum logon ne kabhi socha, what about the man who has dedicated his entire life to looking after his children, providing for them? Uska kya? Does Manik show any gratitude, any sense of regard for those sacrifices?"

Alia charged, "Why are you putting all the blame on Manik, Mukti is also his child,"

"Seriously, you're asking me this? Of course, your first love... uski galtiyaan toh nazar mein hi nahi aati hogi,"

Dhruv stretched a hand towards me, "Cabir, band kar!"

"Are you even hearing yourself out loud? Mukti was an adult and cutting everyone off was her decision, not Manik's doing," Alia screamed, her tears flowing too as both her and I felt an incredible ache take over.

Dhruv was processing everything slowly, and with his condition it was a big thing that he was able to grasp that much of our conversation that fast. "I don't get it... why does Mr. Malhotra want to... sabotage his own son? Wasn't Nyonika... enough to wreck... havoc in Manik's life?"

"The Fashion House," Alia answered with her shaky voice, "I'm sure Manik wants no part of it and Mr. Malhotra must have thought he could get Cabir to do his dirty laundry for him,"

Dhruv intervened, raising his voice, "Alia, stop it!"

Silence transpired as each of us dealt with the revelation differently. Dhruv surely felt almost protective about Manik, as did Alia, making me seem like the villain in all of this. I was not one. I was trying to do a good thing, I was trying to bring a lost child back to his parent. "But I had not thought of the possibility of Diyah and Manik not working out," I confessed, feeling a new swarm of pain kick in.

Manik had chosen his pain over his love. Love, which had the power to seal wailing rivers and plaster them with dams that could withstand any amount of force, never collapsing under it.

I was not fortunate enough to have that choice. Anything, I would do anything to get back love in my life–in any form–and life would be so beautiful with it. I would have the strength to deal with every obstacle that could come my way, that I would not have to go above and beyond to pay back anyone's favours, or put my own life on the line just to make someone else happy. All that, just with a little love.

"Don't act like you're so unhappy about it," Alia stormed to a corner.

"Guys, enough! We cannot be fighting within ourselves... like this. Jo hua so hua, usse bhool jaate hai,"

Alia snorted, "Love is not the solution to his problem, the sooner some people realise that, the easier it will be for all of us. He needs his friends,"

Bullshit.

"Yes Cabir, Manik needs us... all of us," Dhruv added as he saw me throwing my hands in the air. Manik was such a huge part of his identity, especially as a brother figure. Since Dhruv could remember, Manik had been part of his life and as much as they had drifted apart, Manik still held a special place in his life.

Both Alia and Dhruv seemed to value friendship at a level above love, and majority voted for friendship.   

I shrugged, confident in my stance, "It's not happening you guys, Abhimanyu and Mukti will not be coming back,"

"How can we know that without even trying?" Alia asked, putting her hurt and ego aside for the sake of her friendship.

⭒

What did you guys think, hmm bolo bolo?

I'm actually really enjoying writing Manik and Navya and might write more of them in the subsequent updates :D Their bond, even in the show I felt, had so much potential to be hilarious as HELL!

Do you have any pairs/bonds you would like to see more of in this book?

I want all the characters to have more or less equal limelight (except for MaNan of course this whole book is about their love <3) and their reasons for being in the story are quite grey if you've noticed :P

I aim to finish the book this year :P I also usually don't like the concept of writers leaving target vote requirements before updating another chapter, but I genuinely want to know what you guys feel

Please keep spreading your love, please do vote and comment if you like this part <3 I'll keep writing for you guys.