First off, I want to start by saying I'm awed by the views and votes I've gotten since I started writing my book. We have reached my first target of 1k views and it's all thanks to each one of you. Thank you so much for supporting and commenting, it has been an amazing ride so far. God bless you. More reads please, next target is 2k. We can do this.... popping champagne and praying for your blessings on my end. One love guys😘😘

'Dear Father! I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Honestly, I don't remember the last time I prayed and my life sucks in this independent form. How do you manage emotions, huh? How is it possible that you have everyone in your heart and you don't get heartbroken? You forgive and willingly bless them abundantly,' Selah prayed one morning, lying belly flat on the bed in Segun's house.

Segun walked into the room from the bathroom, kissed Selah and started preparing for his class. She watched him and felt bad inside. This guy was trying so hard for her and she had never even told him she loved him, not once. Segun noticed her staring and smiled.

'What happened to you?' she asked, noticing the scar on his back. She got up and walked up to him, touched the lines, neatly stitched.

He shrugged. 'Nothing. It's something that happened when I was little.' He turned and looked at her. Tears had welled up in her eyes and were close to dropping. He cupped her face with his hand, cleaned the tears that dropped from the corner of her eyes and kissed her passionately.

'This was ions ago. Don't cry. You don't even know what happened? What if I was the stubborn one?'

'Nobody should ever go through this kind of torture, whether the person is a stubborn cow or not.'

'Awww...she cares!' he said and smiled, hugging her tightly, 'I love you, okay.'

'It's not funny,' she replied and wrapped her hands round his body. She loved the comfort he gave her, deep inside, she wanted to let go and love him back the same measure he loved her; maybe more but she couldn't. I hope one day I will be able to love you the way you love me. I don't even deserve you. Thank you.

'I have test,' he said, letting go of her.

'I have class by 12:30pm, don't know if I want to go.'

'You must go. It's an order,' he said and smiled.

'Aye aye Capitan!' she said, pledging a salute.

He hurriedly dressed up, took his five-in-one note and walked out, waving to her. She watched him walk out and she sat down and picked up her diary.

Dear Diary

I can't do it anymore. It's too much to hide inside and it's not fair. I am still in a technical relationship with Chris and I haven't told Segun. God, how do I do this? How do I let go.

I know it'll hurt Segun and I like him a lot. He's caring and my friends approve of him, but still, my heart will always like with Chris.

Selah! Selah! Selah!
Your name means peace but you're not giving yourself the peace you deserve.

I need your help Father...a sign, anything.

She closed the diary and placed it in her bag. She received a call from her mum. She contemplated picking it, then she picked.

'Hello mummy good morning.'

'Morning, how are you?'

'I'm fine.' Then silence

'You haven't told me what's going on in school o. Do I always have to beg for information before you give it to me? I don't know if lectures have resumed or if anything extraordinary is happening. You don't even call the house except for money.'

Mummy seriously?🙄

'Mummy nothing is happening in school so far. It's just been one month since resumption.' Rihanna came to school yesterday...Jay-Z is a science student...Nicki is the cleaner...🙄

'Aked mkpoh anama doh! Continue o. Respect yourself Selah! Take care of yourself. Make sure you study hard o. Nothing but first class.'

'Yes mummy. I love you.' The call ended. She dropped it, placed her hand on her cheek, closed her eyes and faced the ceiling. I won't go to that class today... I'm tired jhor. I cannot come and kill myself and die again twice. Her phone rang again and it was Valerie.

'Winsh, what's up?'

'You too winsh. We have test right now. Find your way to class NOW.'

'Which lecturer is the devil using this morning,' she asked frowning.

'Okeke o. Come jhare. I kept seat for you and Rachel. She is on her way.'

'Okay.'

Rub and shine was the only option she had at the moment. She hurried and brushed, washed her armpit and private region, sprayed cologne and body spray, then she stepped out, locked the door and jolted out of the compound. When she got to class, Mr Okeke was already in class. She timidly walked into class, located her friends and sat with them.

'I didn't read. What is doing this man sef?'

'I don't know. Did you come with your note?'

'Yes,' she replied looking up to make sure she wasn't caught talking.

'It's two questions class, based on the movie you watched,' Mr Okeke said, 'I hope you all watched the movies I asked you to last week?'

'It's even the movies. Drop note. Which one did you watch?' she asked Rachel.

'God father my dear. It was Mafia something but it was okay.'

'I watched October 1st. I know what to write,' Valerie added.

'Same here,' she smiled.

'Start writing. I'm not coming in the afternoon, that's why I'm giving you this test. I believe this is the only class you have today.'

'Yes Sir,' the entire class chorused.

'See enjoyment. Start writing and no noise.'

The test lasted for 45minutes before Mr Okeke collected the scripts. She knew she had written well and there was still hope for her after all. Selah and her friends filed out of the class, discussing when one of their male classmate stopped Selah.

'Rachel, Valerie what's up?' he asked them.

'We're fine o. Selah, later na.'

She waved at them and walked with Tonye.

'How are you na?' he asked her.

'I'm fine. Just hungry but fine.'

'Let's go and get food then.' She nodded and smiled. Tonye was the first male in their class to talk with her. Although she never talked or mentioned him to her friends, they knew he was like her best friend. He had always been in the background, helping her out.

'Thank you Tonye. I have to go. I never baf since morning, abeg,' she laughed.

On her way to the house, she smiled to herself. She had made up her mind to let go of Chris and stick to Segun. Apart from his handsome face, great body feature and the scars on his back that made him like her super hero, she had come to a point to say I love you to him. She got to the house and opened the door. Her book and phone fell from her hand. She cleaned her eyes to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

Rage swelled up inside her and those naive tears she said she'll never cry came down again, like her tear glands were weak and needed replacement.

Segun opened his eyes wide and sat up, shaking.

'I can explain,' were the only words that came out.

***********
Thank you everyone. God bless you for making it to 1k views. It's so awesome.

*Aked mkpoh anama doh! means Have you seen this thing you're doing!*

Thank you all once again. I really appreciate.

With love ♥️

Joy Akpan 😊