Lily bit her lip as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her Hawkins Tigers windbreaker swished against itself as she held up her hair, debating on whether or not she wanted it in a ponytail. She stood a moment, seeing how it looked, before letting her hair go with a frown. Her eyes instantly judged her mirrored self, her hand-me-down clothes, her thick-lensed glasses, her wild untamable hair, her geriatric white sneakers that looked like she'd stolen them from a nursing home. She sighed, stood up straight, then smiled into the mirror. Since she got her braces off, she'd loved her smile, it was her favorite thing about herself, "You can do this, Lily," She said in a slight whisper to herself, "Just one more game," She switched her gaze to the cross on her wall, her smile fading as she prayed, "Lord, please help me get through today."

She grabbed her backpack, a bright pink Jansport that had certainly seen better days, and headed into the open living area of her Grandma's trailer. The elderly woman was asleep in a recliner with a rerun of Jeopardy playing on the TV. Lily found it best not to wake her, as she didn't want to spend the morning getting berated for things she didn't even do. She quietly tiptoed through the room, moving to the small kitchenette at the end of their trailer. She grabbed a banana from its bunch and her water bottle from the sink, giving it a good rinse before filling it up with water from the tap.

She tucked her bottle into the side pocket of her bag and slowly approached the door, pausing as one of the floorboards groaned under her weight. Her grandmother's snores stopped as Lily slowly turned her head toward the recliner. Her eyes went wide as she watched her grandmother silently stir, like a deer in headlights. It was as if the young woman were a statue, still as stone, not even willing to breathe. The only noise Lily could hear was the loud drumming of her heartbeat in her ears.

Then a loud snore filled the air, and Lily let out a silent sigh of relief. Her shoulders fell from their tense position as she reached for the door, carefully opening it and shutting it behind her. She leaned her head back lightly against the closed door, closing her eyes and letting out a breath. She took a moment to compose herself.

Around four years ago, she moved to Hawkins, Indiana to live with her grandma Jeanie. Her parents had died in a car accident, and her mother's parents had already passed, so she had nowhere to turn but to her uber-religious father's super-mega-religious mother.

"It was God's will," Her grandma told her as she watched her parent's bodies get lowered into the ground. As a young girl, she went to church every Sunday as her father wanted, and was taught about Jesus' love and God's care for his creation. Amid her grief and anger, a seed of doubt was sewn in her mind. A small, blackened seed that gnawed at her insides and left her feeling guilty. With a smile, the sadness, grief, and anger were all hidden behind her pearly whites.

She lifted her head back up, swallowing the lump of stress in her throat as she began to dig through her backpack. In her hand was her Walkman, one of the only items of her mother's she'd been allowed to keep, and one of the tapes she had stashed away in her closet.

Her mother was not religious, and how she ended up with her father was beyond Lily's comprehension. Yet, the "heathen" that was her mother had a sublime taste in music that she passed down to Lily through lullabies and car rides. After opening the case, she loaded Stevie Nicks' Bella Donna into the player, starting her walk to school as the piano of the titular track filled her ears.

The sun had just begun to peek over the horizon and the early morning dew began to dampen her shoes. She didn't have a car or friends that lived close enough to give her a ride... or friends in general. So, the eighteen-year-old had to set off on foot early every morning to get from the trailer park to the school on time.

She stepped along to the beat as she got to the main road, cars on their morning commute out of town passed her by as she kicked the pebbles beneath her feet. She stopped as suddenly as the instruments did, her hands sprung out to her sides as she sang out along with the song, "I never thought it could!"

While Stevie's voice continued, she began to walk again, slowly turning as she listened on. She loved music, from her mother's singing to church hymns, although the latter wasn't always exciting. She could always get lost in a song. So lost, in fact, that she almost didn't notice the van pulling up beside her halfway through her journey.

She saw it slow down out of the corner of her eye, and jumped as it skidded to a halt in the road slightly in front of her. She cautiously continued to walk as the van backed up so that the driver's window was next to her. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked up to see Eddie Munson's lips moving as he cranked his window down.

Lucifer is said to have been God's most beautiful angel, although Eddie wasn't anywhere near as evil as Satan, to Lily he was easily comparable in terms of looks. As if his curly brown locks and sly smile weren't enough to make her swoon, she could feel herself practically floating on the smell of his freshly applied cologne, like in one of those Bugs Bunny cartoons or Scooby-Doo following the scent of food. Her crush on the young man seemed unrequited, but her grandmother wouldn't let her even go near him anyway. She was convinced that Eddie and his friends were involved in some sort of devil worship, and the cause of some of the town's recent tragedies.

She moved her headphones down to rest around her neck, "I'm sorry, what was that?" She asked as she couldn't hear him through the sounds of "Think About It."

"Would you like a ride?" Eddie asked her through the noise of his own music, which he turned down slightly to hear her reply.

Eddie had asked her that question several times before. When first got his van, he'd pass by her nearly every morning, something in his gut told him to stop and ask. Yet, she refused.
The first few times it rained that year? "No, but thank you!"
The year they got over 6 inches of snow in a day, "No, I'm alright!"

On this last day before Spring Break of their Senior year, something itched at the back of her mind, telling Lily to take the offer, "Sure, thanks," she nodded with a friendly smile, pushing up her glasses to their spot atop her nose. What her grandma didn't know wouldn't hurt her, right?

Eddie blinked a moment, fully expecting a different answer, "Yeah, hop in," She watched as Eddie reached over and unlocked the passenger door, hearing the latch click as she walked around the front of the van to get in. He wiped his hand along the passenger seat to clean off the crumbs and other debris. A few empty cans fell from the van as she opened the door, letting out a hollow clatter as they hit the asphalt. She bent down to pick them up and tossed them back onto the floorboard as she climbed into the seat.

As he tossed some things into the back of the van, he gave an apologetic smile, "If I'd known you'd say yes, I would've cleaned up in here a little more," he chuckled.

His cologne slightly overpowered the smell of stale beer and potato chips. The scent enveloped her as she awkwardly fiddled with the strap of her bag. It wasn't the normal smell of a young man's cologne, which was overpowering to the point it was nausea-inducing. It was nice, like a warm hug in a mossy forest. Lily furrowed her brows, mentally scolding herself for being weird as she adjusted in her seat to remove her bag.

"It's okay," she nodded, pausing her tape and putting her Walkman back into her backpack before leaving the bag in her lap, "I've been in messier." That wasn't entirely true, but she didn't want him to feel bad about the state of his van. She didn't mind it either way.

Eddie nodded, looking at her for a moment before putting the van back in drive. They were only in silence for a few seconds, besides the music Eddie was listening to, which he had turned down more when she got in.

"So, what were you listening to?" He asked, glancing at her, "If you don't mind me asking. You seemed really into it."

"Oh," she let out, not expecting him to start up a conversation so quick. The question caught her off guard, how long had he been watching her? She prayed that it wasn't long as she kept her gaze away from him and answered, "Just some Stevie Nicks."

He turned towards her slightly, with his eyes on the road, though they were widened a bit in shock, "Really?" He asked with a look of disbelief, a smile slowly began to spread as he repeated what she said back to her, "Stevie Nicks? No shit."

"Yeah," Lily nodded, letting out a single chuckle, "What is that not what you were expecting?"

"Not at all," he shook his head with a laugh, turning back towards the road, "I was expecting some sort of, y'know," he gestured with his hand as he began to loudly and pompously sing, "Ave Maria-" he stopped, his chest deflating as Lily began to giggle.

He glanced at her and asked with a grin, "What, was that not good?" she shook her head, clutching her backpack to her chest as she laughed, "Do you not want to listen to that on your way to school?" He asked jokingly.

"I don't know who would," she said when she could catch her breath, "Oh, jeez," she let out a breath of air and laid her head back against the headrest.

The two were silent for another moment before Eddie spoke again, "I think this is the most we've talked to each other in the... four years you've been here?" He phrased the last part more like a question, drawing out the "four" as he tried to think of the correct number, "And that's crazy because our trailers are like, what, five feet from another?" He chuckled, exaggerating the distance a bit.

She nodded with a flat-mouthed smile, "Yeah," she said, debating on whether or not to tell him why. She decided to tell him anyway, "My grandma told me not to talk to you. She says you're trouble," she told him truthfully.

Eddie paused for a moment before replying, "And do you believe her?"

Lily moved her eyes to look towards the roof of the car, as if she was thinking about it, "I haven't decided yet, but definitely not the kind of trouble she thinks you are," She looked at him directly for the first time since she entered the car, "for now, I'm not sure."

"Alright," he nodded, "I'll take it, for now."

The silence between conversations was more comfortable now, as if there was a break in the slight tension between them, "So, who's this?" Lily asked, referring to the band playing out of the speakers.

"It's Black Sabbath," he told her, and she nodded along with the music. He turned it up a bit more as he saw she seemed interested in it.

"Sounds like something my mom would listen to," she smiled, the cans on the floorboard rustling as she tapped her feet. It probably was one of the bands her mom enjoyed, she didn't know.

He raised his eyebrows, "Well, your mom sounds like a cool lady."

Lily nodded, "She was," she said after a moment, her feet stopped tapping and she turned to gaze out the window. She could feel the slight tension form again as Eddie was mentally kicking himself. The two listened to his music the rest of their way to school.

As he parked, Lily opened her door, thanking him as she got out, "Thanks again," she told him as he quickly got out.

She avoided his gaze once again as he approached her, "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't know about your mom-"

"It's okay," she told him, that guarded smile forming on her face as she began to walk towards the building, "Really, it was a long time ago."

"But it's not okay-" Eddie began but the two of them were interrupted.

"Ooh, lovers quarrel?" A voice asked as two cheerleaders passed by, one of them looking at Lily with her mouth open in a wicked smile. Though Lily was made the equipment manager for the cheer team, some of them made it quite clear that she wasn't one of them. The position only made her more prone to their teasing.

"Aw, Loser Lily's got herself a boyfriend!" The other one gasped in false excitement, "how cute," she said sarcastically. turning for the two of them to giggle betwixt each other.

"The loser and the freak," the one that first spoke taunted. She turned her head to look them both up and down, "how fitting," the grin didn't leave her face, biting down lightly on her tongue with glee as she saw Lily's smile slowly fall.

The two cheerleaders continued to walk, only turning their gaze back when another voice rang out through the parking lot.

"Lily!" The curly-haired blonde turned to see Chrissy Cunningham jogging towards her from her boyfriend's car. It seemed like they were standing there talking before the whole encounter happened. Chrissy, her ginger ponytail bounced as she stepped and her cheer uniform looked about as perfect as she was.

Chrissy wore a bright smile, she seemed excited to see her. She seemed to be the only one on the team that was nice to Lily, and genuinely kind to everyone around her. Lily did have a friend, and it was Chrissy. Kind, beautiful, Chrissy.

"You have no idea how glad I am to see you," Chrissy grinned as she caught up to Lily. The redhead sent a glance and a polite smile back to Eddie, who was standing awkwardly by his van, and looked back to Lily in question before beginning again, "I'm having some trouble with my math homework, and I know you're good at this stuff."

She began to guide Lily toward the school, walking as she talked. Lily sent a flat-mouthed smile back to Eddie in apology before turning back to help Chrissy.

The two discussed the math problems as they entered the building, but as Lily was explaining the problems something seemed off with Chrissy. It felt as if she was far away, not hearing what Lily was saying.

"Chrissy," Lily said her name softly before waving a hand in front of her face, "Are you with me?"

Chrissy blinked a few times before shaking her head, "Yeah, sorry," her steps lingered slightly as she spoke, "I just remembered I have something I have to do," she told Lily, finally looking back at her, "I'll see you at the pep rally, okay?"

Chrissy's grin didn't seem to reach her eyes, but Lily let it go. She had seemed stressed the past week, but Lily had just chalked it up to the midterms before Spring break, "See you later," Lily nodded as she watched the girl walk down the crowded hallway. She lingered a moment before heading to her locker, this was going to be a long day.

_

"Okay, does everyone have a set of poms?" Lily shouted over the noise of chattering students. The cheer squad stood in a huddle in front of her, ignoring her question completely. She furrowed her brows slightly, glancing toward the double doors of the gymnasium, watching students and teachers pile in. She did a head count once more, they were still missing someone, "Girls, has anyone seen Chrissy?" She shouted, and again, she was ignored.

Lily opened her mouth to speak again when a cheerleader approached her,  "Lily, these poms are wrinkly!" She complained loudly, "Why have a job when you can't even do it right?"

"Where did those come from, Stacy?" Lily asked, her brows furrowed, "And have you seen Chrissy?"

The girl looked at her like she was dumb, "They were in my duffle bag, and no I haven't."

Chrissy took a deep breath, trying to maintain her cheerful disposition, "They're supposed to go back to me when you're done with them. Why were they in your duffle bag?" She asked.

The girl scoffed, "Not my problem, just fix them," Stacy told her, shoving the poms to Lily's chest before turning back to the herd.

Lily turned away from the group and faced toward the bleachers. She fixed her gaze upwards, letting out a deep sigh, "Lord... you're really testing me today," She muttered, glancing back down towards the crowd. She scanned for any sign of Chrissy, but no luck. Her eyes were fixed on the top of the bleachers, near the corner, and against the wall. That's where Eddie and his friends were headed, the battle vest-wearing twenty-something was balancing on each bleacher as he stepped. One of his friends shoved him lightly, throwing him off and making him tilt before he landed in the space between the seats. He let out a laugh, pushing the other back before sitting down. That's when his eyes met hers, giving her a two-fingered wave as she quickly turned away. Shit, she cursed mentally.

"I'm here!" Chrissy called, running toward the blonde once again, "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay," Lily nodded, handing Chrissy a set of poms, "You're not late. I was starting to get a little worried though," Lily let out a nervous giggle. Stacy cleared her throat, making Lily remember what she was doing, she handed the girl the spare set they had to buy after Heather Sterling got mono and left all of her cheer stuff in her room.

"Okay, ladies," Lily smiled, "You've got this. Go Tigers!" She grinned and stepped out of the way so they could do their thing.

"Thank you," Chrissy told her with a nervous smile as the others rolled their eyes or just continued to ignore her completely.

Lily went to stand by the teachers and coaches. The basketball coach gave her a nod in acknowledgment as she stood by him, biting her lower lip in excitement. She bounced on her heels as the band began to play, letting out a loud whoop as the cheerleaders began their routine. She mimicked the moves much smaller in front of herself, in time with every clap, miming every jump. Her gaze only wavered when she felt someone staring at her. She looked back toward the bleachers, in that same corner. It was Eddie, watching her, smiling. She froze, her hands still balled up in fists in front of her chest. Eddie continued to mimic for her with one hand, raising a fist slightly in the air and mouthing in time, "Go, team!"

Lily let out a single chuckle, grinning and letting her hands fall to her side. She looked at her shoes a moment before looking at him again. His smile turned into a look of concern, he pointed at his nose and then at her. She furrowed her brows in confusion, reaching up to touch her nose. She pulled back her fingers and found them wet with blood. Her eyes widened, looking at her red-stained fingers in shock. She quickly turned in embarrassment and made a beeline for the nearest bathroom, cupping a hand underneath her nose so it wouldn't drip anywhere.

She looked in the mirror as she got into the bathroom and began to stuff some paper towels into the bleeding nostril. She examined her handiwork in the mirror, making sure nothing was leaking through as she began to wash her hands.

Letting out a disappointed sigh, she looked in the mirror once more, "I get it, God," She said aloud, frowning at herself, "I get it."

_

Hi!

I'm so excited for this fic yall lemme tell ya.

Religious trauma incoming!!! :)