Chapter Fifty One Everything? Everything

It wasn't until Hunter arrived when I noticed it was already dark outside. I didn't realize the sun went down because I shut my curtains, concealing myself into a world of darkness.

I didn't even hear him until Koda lifted her head off of my thigh and stared at the door. I turned my head and I saw him standing in the doorway.

My eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "Hunter?"

He gave me a small, sad smile. "Hey, Squirt." He said as walked over to my bed and took a sit.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, sitting up.

"Mom called and told me what happened." He explained. "You're my sister of course I'm going to drop everything and be here for you."

I threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly, as tears filled my eyes.

"Thank you, Hunter."

"Don't thank me, Squirt."

The hug was broken and he looked at me with sad eyes. I known him my whole life and I knew how he worked. He wanted to know what happened but he didn't want to come out and plainly ask me.

"I don't know what happened, Hunter. I was just being careless and stressed out for the most part. I took a test and it come out negative so I didn't think much of it. And because of that, Jayce hates me."

Hunter frowned. "Jayce hates you?" He repeated. "Did he tell you that?"

I shook my head. "No but he didn't came to see me in the hospital or here."

"That doesn't mean he hates you. Jayce function differently. He needs time to himself. He would not not show up. He'll be here soon." He tried to assure me.

"Yeah you're right." I muttered, unconvincingly.

"He'll be here." He said.

He gave me one more hug before leaving me to myself once more. I glanced at my clock and decided I needed to take a shower. I went to the bathroom and Koda followed me, stopping at the bathroom door.

I turned the water on and while it got hot, I stripped out my clothes. I stepped into the tub and let the petal of water hit my skin. I stood under the water for awhile, thinking about everything that had happened in what felt like a short amount of time.

It was only five months ago, I thought I had feelings for Chance and hated Jayce after what he put me through the previous months before. Look how fast that changed.

Then I hated them both for making me feel so stupid over their little secret and it that wasn't enough, I felt the need to get revenge and for what? I felt like an idiot over doing it. I embarrassed Chance and tarnished his name. Lucky for me, his father was able to pull some string and got the media attention off of him. Jayce's revenge was probably the worst thing I could ever do.

I mean who shows up to their, at the time, ex best friend's dorm wearing lingerie?

Moving on, I forgave them both after they both admitted how dumb they were and we're sincere about it. Chance's apologize was more emotionally than Jayce's because of Rhesa. He cried.  And I felt so horrible for everything I did. He lost his mother and he changed for her.

After that, things seemed the move on for the better. Jayce and I weren't friends just yet but we're heading in that direction thanks to Chance. After we got arrested, everything seemed the shift. We became friends and things were great. We joked around like how we used to and it was amazing.

Then that night of Valentine's Day, my whole world turned upside down. I didn't know what happened. I just knew I was tried of fighting against my feelings and I let them take over.

And I was glad I did. Even though, I didn't know how Jayce and I were react around each other after that night. But I didn't have anything to be worry about because he felt the same way and that was great.

Right?

Everything was feeling perfect and nothing could stop that, not even Arianna, who tried to come in between us.

We've been through a lot and yet we were still the same person, just a better version of ourselves. We found what we wanted and we accepted it. It's been a crazy eight month but I glad it happened.

I was just upset, I didn't realize it sooner and I could've done something to prevented it for happening.

I sighed as I stopped thinking about the past and finished taking a shower. I shut the water off and wrapped a towel around myself. I stood in front of the steamy mirror and ran my hand over the glass, looking at myself.

I looked so sad and miserable. I had every right, didn't I?

I glanced away and put my clothes in the hamper before leaving the bathroom. I went to my room and walked to my closet. I found some clothes and dried off before putting them on.

I ran the towel through my hair then let it air dry. I noticed Mom left a plate of food beside my bed on my nightstand along with a drink.

She was be sad if I didn't attempt to eat something. I turned on the lamp to allow some light to be in my otherwise dark room.

I grabbed the fork and took a bite of my pasta and knew Dad was the one to cook it. I ate another bite before I set the fork down.

Out the corner of my eye, I saw my phone light up and I reached for it, hesitatingly. I haven't looked at my phone all day and to be honest, I was kind of scared to. I didn't want to see what anyone said or didn't say. I drew my hand back, deciding I didn't want to look at whatever it was.

Levi came into my room a few minutes later and sat down on my bed.

"Hey, we're going out for a little bit." He said. "It's nothing really important but Mom needs our help putting her new yard stuff in the cars."

I nodded my head. "Okay."

"We'll be back soon under an hour." He promised. "Do you need anything?"

I shook my head. "No."

"If you do, let me know." He stood up and walked out my room, shutting the door behind him.

I was alone, well not totally alone I did have Bear and Koda keeping me some company. I just felt so lonely.

Then ten minutes later, there was a knock on my door before it opened. I turned my head, thinking it was one of my brothers, who wanted to stay behind and be with me but no it wasn't any of them.

Standing in my door way, was the person I've been waiting to see for hours but he never showed up. He disappeared when I needed him.

Jayce.

Looking at him, he looked tired and worn out. As if he hadn't slept in days. But I knew that wasn't the case.

He gave Bear a quick pet on the head before walking towards my bed.

"I know you're mad at me and you have every right to be." He said as he stood a few feet in front of me.

"I thought you were mad at me. I thought you hated me." I told him.

He shook his head. "I could never hate you. I don't have it in me to. And I'm not mad at you either."

I frowned, confused. "Then why weren't you at the hospital? Cassidy said she called you twenty times and it went to voicemail after the third time."

"I don't have a excuse but I'll explain." He said. "I didn't stay at the dorms, I went to my house and I fell asleep an hour later. I didn't hear anything, I was completely knocked out. I didn't know you were in the hospital until my mom came into my room, waking me up and by then, you were already in the hospital for some hours. When I heard the news, I thought I was still somehow asleep but then Cassidy and Nolan kept calling me and I knew I wasn't." He paused.

"I grabbed my keys and I wanted to go to hospital. I wanted to be with you but I couldn't deal with seeing their faces or yours. I wouldn't be able to handle it. It's stupid, and selfish of me, I know but I wasn't thinking straight. I thought maybe I would give it a couple more hours and I would be fine. I would go see you but I found a bottle of liquor in my truck and I drove to a random spot in the country and drank. I cried for you and myself. I broke down and I couldn't stop. If I felt that way, I couldn't imagine how you felt." He said.

"I was drunk and there was no way I could drive so I stayed there, alone in my thoughts. I thought about the baby and imagine a life with him and I got sad again. I was there for a long time until I felt like I could drive without causing any harm. I went back to my house and I didn't want to talk to anymore so I left again and drove around for hours until I realize how stupid I was being. You needed me and I was going to be there."

"I'm so sorry, Jayce." I said. "This was my fault. If I just would've went to see a doctor none of this would've happened."

He moved beside me and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me to his chest.

"Stop blaming yourself, okay? It's not fault."

"Yes it is!" I protested. "You're supposed to hate me, yell at me. Do something other than this."

"I'm not yelling at you and I'm not gonna hate you. I love you and I don't think you realize how long I've loved you."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I was gonna tell you this a while back but you already had so much going on during that time so I decided not to. I'm gonna start from the beginning this time and explain everything."

"Everything?" I repeated.

"Everything." He confirmed.

This time when he meant from the beginning, he actually meant it. He wasn't going to leave anything out like he did last time.

"Back in July, I had something huge to tell you. I thought I could openly said it and everything would be perfect from that moment and onward. But I got nervous and I wasn't gonna show up but I couldn't leave you there so I showed up and when I saw you, my nervousness came back. I wanted to say it quickly but you made me so fucking nervous and you weren't even trying."

I remember asking him if anything was wrong and he said something like he shouldn't had came because he didn't want to ruin our friendship.

"I wanted to leave you right then and there but you kept asking me questions and instead of telling you how I felt, I thought it would be better to show you. Then when you said my name after I kissed you, I thought the worse. I thought you were gonna tell me how stupid I was for ever thinking you would like me that way I liked you. So I tried to play it off as if it didn't mean anything but actually it meant everything."

He looked at me.

"I ignored you, hoping somehow those feelings was just stupid feelings like I had with other girls but they didn't disappear. Then I started talking to Arianna so she could take my mind off you but she was helpless. She did nothing to change how I felt about you. I still had them and I wanted to see if you felt the same way."

That's why he kept kissing me then changing his whole attitude. He was still scared I didn't feel the same way.

"Then I got jealous when you started dating Chance." He shrugged. "And well, you know the rest."

"Jayce." I whispered. "You're so stupid. I felt the same way you did that day at the park but you didn't let me explain. You just walked away. It wasn't the right moment but I'm glad you did it."

He gave me a small smile. "Then I won't apologize for it but I will apologize for everything after that day."

"There's no need for that." I replied.

"Don't you see, we've been through a lot and somehow we still managed to be okay. We'll get through this together, I promise."

"I thought promises were meant to be broken." I quoted him.

He grinned, lightly. "Not this one. This promise is forever."