Jordan

Back in high school, I shoved classmate Anthony Orsini hard against the lockers. I didn't mean to push him so hard. I didn't mean to hurt him and I felt really bad and I apologized, but no one cared about my apology. Anthony touched me at my locker, squeezing my shoulders. I didn't like to be touched. He made my heart feel funny, too.

At only 25, Tim, acting as my surrogate father, was called into the principal's office again. After earning his PhD, he had just started a new job, which I almost ruined for him.

So annoyed, Tim didn't even look at me as he entered Mr. Lyman's office. I knew I was more trouble than I was worth. Tim sat down beside me, the balding principal behind his desk.

"He touched me," I said to Tim and Mr. Lyman, the high school principal.

"Who touched you?" Tim asked, but I didn't respond at first. "Who touched you?"

"Anthony," I mumbled.

"Where did he touch you?" he asked.

"Here," I pointed to my shoulders.

"So he didn't punch you or hit you or anything like that? He didn't touch you...uh...inappropriately?" Mr. Lyman said.

"To Jordan it was inappropriate," Tim said. "He was defending himself."

"I didn't mean to hurt him," I said. "Is he going to be okay?" When I shoved Anthony, his head hit the metal locker so hard he was unconscious for half a second. I had never hurt anyone before. "I didn't mean to."

"He's fine...thankfully," Mr. Lyman said. "We do not tolerate any type of physical violence at this school. You're suspended for the rest of the week."

"What?" I exclaimed, jumping to my feet. I liked school and didn't want to miss it. "That's crap! It was an accident. I said I was sorry."

"Sorry's not good enough," Mr. Lyman said.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Tim shake his head, staring at the ground. "When's your father coming home?"

"We're doing just fine," Tim said, looking up. Art was always a touchy subject. "He shouldn't have touched him."

"Your brother's graduating next year," Mr. Lyman said, ignoring Tim's comment. "He can't keep acting like this."

"So he can come back on Monday?" Tim said, avoiding Mr. Lyman's comment entirely.

"Yes," he said. That was five days away, which meant I'd be stuck at home for five days. It was the middle of winter so there was nothing to do. Tim stood up and motioned for me to stand up, too.

"Thank you," Tim said and I followed him out of the office. He didn't talk to me for most of the ride home.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled under my breath.

"Yeah," Tim sighed. "What am I going to do with you, huh?"

Convinced Tim hated me, I went straight to my room and threw myself into my music. David Bowie's Space Oddity was the first song that played.

Tim hates me. Everyone hates me. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

A little while later, Tim interrupted me, holding a board game under his arm. I recognized it as Battleship, one of my favorite games. Tim placed the game between us on my bed and I remember us playing for at least an hour.

***

As I lounged in my favorite tube in the pool, I thought about Anthony. For some reason that entire incident and afternoon popped into my head. He always talked to me, following me around, bugging me, smiling stupidly at me. At my locker, he touched me, squeezing my shoulders as he asked me if I'd go to a movie with him. Why would I go to a movie with him? He wasn't my friend. In fact, I didn't have any friends. Now, as I basked in the summer sun, I figured it all out. Anthony Orsini liked me. He didn't deserve the concussion I gave him.

On a rare occasion, Tim hung out with me by the pool, wearing swim trunks and everything. Paranoid about burning, he kept his t-shirt on. I bet he could have worn long sleeves if it wasn't so hot. Jamie was at some family gathering with aunts and uncles and cousins. Before he left, I asked him if I could go with him, but he didn't feel right taking me. He said it would be too boring, too loud, and too crowded. I wondered if he was afraid I'd have a freak out.

"Jamie's done a good job with the pool, huh?" Tim said, his legs dangling in the water.

"Better than you, that's for sure," I said. Whenever Tim took care of the pool, half the time the water turned green. Even though he was a scientist, he could get the Ph balance right. Jamie, who had more time than he knew what to do with at times, managed to keep the pool clear. He also vacuumed the pool nearly everyday unlike Tim.

"Thanks a lot," Tim said, kicking water at me. "So how's Mom?"

"The same," I said and thought a minute, thinking of Mom and the painfully awkward silence I endured twice a month during our visits. "I don't know if I want to keep visiting, though. I've been doing it forever and she's never said a word."

"Maybe you should go once a month or once every few months," he said. "I mean, if it's becoming too much."

"Yeah, maybe," I said, but I wasn't sure I'd be able to do that, either. What if she chose to speak and I was't there to hear her voice?

"Hey, I was wondering...are you gonna make brownies any time soon?" Tim said, eagerly changing the subject.

"I don't know," I said.

"Kelly's coming over and she wants to try one," he said. What? Again? "I can't make them as good as you."

"When is she coming over?" I asked irritably and obviously annoyed. Why couldn't Tim go to her house so me and Jamie could be alone? "You just saw her."

"I know," he said. "She's coming over for dinner." I jumped off my tube to get out of the pool. "Maybe you can show me how to make Mom's spaghetti sauce, you know, the way you make it."

Was that his way of asking me to make dinner for a woman I hardly knew?

"Where are you going?" he asked, but I didn't respond. "Come on, Jordan. Give her a chance."

Grabbing my phone and headphones, I climbed down the ladder. With my music blaring, I trudged through the woods. As I looked down at my phone, I saw a few messages from Jamie. He was bored and thinking of me and wishing he were with me instead of at this big family cook-out. As I waded through the murky pond, I thought of him too. After I scooped a frog into the palms of my hands, I walked back out. Maybe I'll keep this frog, I thought to myself.

Once again, I lost track of time. I must have been gone for hours. By the time I returned to the house Jamie was back and he was chatting with that woman at the porch table.

"Hey," Jamie said to me.

My feet and calves were caked in mud, residue from the pond splattered over my chest. I was far from presentable, which never bothered me before, but it bothered me now. I wasn't in the mood for a visitor. Tim must have been inside trying to cook.

"Hi, Jordan," the woman said.

Not saying anything, not even acknowledging her, I went inside. The aroma of spaghetti sauce permeated the first floor. It smelled pretty good.

Tim was at the stove, an open bottle of wine on the counter, a glass in his hand. Cooking stressed him out so he most likely needed the glass of wine to calm himself down. I went to the stove and lifted up the cover of the pot to check out the sauce. I held the cover with one hand, the frog with the other.

"Don't touch," he said. "You're filthy. Are you collecting frogs again?" I put the cover back on and headed upstairs. Maybe I'll help him later.

In my closet, I dug out a shoebox and carefully placed the frog inside. Sitting on the floor with the box in my lap, I popped a few holes in the cover, something I used to do as a kid.

"How was your day?" Jamie asked, stepping into my room. I only shrugged. "You have a new pet? What's his name?" I shrugged again. I hadn't thought of a name yet.

"Anthony," I said. The name just came out, not like Anthony Orsini looked like a frog. He was actually kind of cute.

"That's a cool name," he said. "So, are you going to come down for dinner?"

"Why? Is it ready?" I asked.

"No, not yet," I said. "Which is a good thing because you have a lot of washing up to do."

"Yeah, so? Are you going to give me a bath?"

"I'd love to give you a bath, you little flirt," he said.

"I don't know how to flirt," I said with a smile, knowing very well I had become pretty good at flirting over the past couple of weeks, with Jamie, anyway.

"Come on. Get up," he said.

Jamie followed me into the bathroom while Tim remained either downstairs or outside with that woman. Jamie leaned against the bathroom sink as the bathtub filled with water. "I'm supposed to be taking a nap," he said. "You really need to lighten up a little, you know. You're acting like a complete brat." I turned around to squirt some bubble bath into the tub. "You don't want to talk about it, huh?"

"I need to take a bath," I said. As I watched the water turn all sudsy, I could hear Jamie's footsteps as he approached me. He stood behind me, breathing against my neck.

"You're so disgusting right now," he said. "But you still turn me on." He slipped his hands inside the back of my shorts.

"Come in with me," I said.

"You know I'd love to," he said, his arms around me, his hands now in the front of my shorts. "But I don't think that's a very good idea right now. We're not exactly alone in the house, you know."

"Yeah, I know," I said as he gently stroked me down there. "But you're supposed to be taking a nap and..." He pulled his hands away.

"I can't," he said. "Get in."

Jamie kept his eyes on me as I eased into the warm water. Almost immediately, I dunked myself under the water, then back up again, then under again. When I was done dunking myself, I brought my knees to my chest, my eyes on Jamie. As he knelt down beside the tub, he lathered up a wash cloth with some body wash and picked up one of my legs. He scrubbed my leg, getting all the mud off, eventually bringing the wash cloth between my toes. He pulled my other leg away from me and did the same. I felt incredibly relaxed and at peace lying there in the tub. Jamie washed my chest and stomach, then further down.

With the wash cloth between my legs, he leaned over the rim of the tub and kissed my mouth. Placing my hands on the back of his neck, I kissed him harder, practically pulling him into the tub with me.

"Whoa," he said. "I can't come in...not right now."

"I want you to," I said.

"I know you do," he said and kissed me. As he kissed me, he pulled me out of the tub, wrapping me in a towel before I sat in his lap. "I think Tim needs your help downstairs."

"I don't want to help Tim," I said. "I want to do this right now."

"We're not going to," he said.

"Please," I said with my lips against his neck.

"Jordan," he said as I sucked really hard. He liked it when I did that.

"Jamie," I said and brought my lips to his shoulder.

"We can't," he said and gently pushed me away and off him. He stood up, leaving me on the floor, desperately wanting him. I threw the towel on the floor, showing him how much I wanted him. His hand was on the bathroom doorknob, but he didn't move, staring at me. "I...uh...I'll see you downstairs." And then he left. I couldn't believe he left.

Annoyed with Jamie, I threw on a pair of shorts and went back downstairs. Everyone else was outside when I stopped at the stove. I tasted the sauce and added a bit more salt and oregano. It wasn't bad.

Jamie's eyes met mine as I walked onto the porch. "The sauce is done," I said, signaling Tim to start boiling the water for the spaghetti, which I wasn't about to do. He got up as I sat down beside Jamie. That woman sat across from us.

"You could have put on a shirt," Jamie whispered to me. Teasing him, I rubbed my bare foot against his leg. "Stop it," he said through gritted teeth. "I swear to God I'm going to kill you," Jamie laughed. That woman stared at us while Jamie and I teased each other. He pushed my shoulder and I pushed him back.

"You guys really like each other, huh?" she said.

"No, I hate him," I said and bit his shoulder playfully. As soon as Tim re-emerged with a bowl of spaghetti, Jamie and I stopped, sitting stoically.

The four of us were quiet for awhile, which Jamie couldn't stand, but he kept his mouth shut, distracted again by the way my foot rubbed against his leg.

"Are you guys having a good summer?" the woman asked us with a smile on her face. I didn't respond, only staring back at her.

"Yes," Jamie said. "This is a great place. And Jordan's a good host." Tim laughed, flinging a bread stick at him.

"Yeah, a good host," Tim said. "He's kicked you, bit you, spit at you, pushed you in the pool and pond and..."

"Those were just minor incidences," Jamie said.

"You're so weird," Tim said, taking a sip of his wine. "You always were. That's why you became an art teacher, right?"

"There's nothing wrong with being an art teacher," the woman said. "And you're teaching in London this year, right?"

Why did she have to bring that up?

"Uh, yeah," he said. "It's something I always wanted to do. It's a teacher exchange program."

"Oh, so a teacher from London will be taking your place?" she said.

"Yes," Jamie said, quickly glancing at me.

"That's exciting," she said.

Jamie was going to London the end of August. He was leaving. The thought was too much for me to stomach. Suddenly not feeling well, I stood up, not entirely sure where I was going. My hands shook and I was sweaty all over.

"Hey, are you alright?" Tim asked. "You look kind of pale." Everyone was looking at me. The room was spinning and my stomach, head, and heart hurt.

"Jordan?" Jamie said, holding my wrist. I'm not sure what happened next, but I woke up on the couch, a cool wash cloth on my forehead. As I opened my eyes, I found Jamie sitting on the recliner chair perpendicular to the couch. Tim was sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch. The woman was in the room, too, sitting on the other chair. My head pounded like crazy.

"What happened?"  I asked.

"You fainted," Tim said.

"Fainted?" I said. As I went to sit up, I was suddenly dizzy again and had to lay back down, too queasy.

"Did you eat anything today?" Tim asked.

"Yeah," I said, massaging my temple. I just wanted to curl up in bed and go to sleep and maybe never wake up. I hadn't felt like this in a long time. Why did I feel that way?  It all started when Jamie talked about London. My gaze shifted back to Jamie whose stunning blue eyes were on me, clearly worried. I could read him like a book. "I'm okay," I said. "I guess I just don't feel well. I want to go to bed." Very carefully and slowly, I sat up.

"I'll bring him up," Jamie said. "You can stay down here with Kelly."

"Are you sure?" Tim said.

"Yeah, no problem," he said. Jamie draped my arm over his shoulder and walked me up the stairs. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I think so," I said as confused as everyone else.

Once in my room, Jamie tucked me in and sat down beside me on the bed. He combed his fingers through my hair, which I loved.

"You scared us," he said.

"Do you like David Bowie?" I asked.

"Huh?" he said with a laugh.

"Do you like David Bowie?"

"Yes," he said.

"I like his earlier music. Ziggy Stardust, Starman, Space Oddity. I love Space Oddity," I said, gazing into his eyes. "Ground control to Major Tom..." I sang. He caressed my cheek, his eyes urging me to continue to sing. "Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear me...?" He interrupted me with a quick, simple kiss.

A/N

Thank you everyone for your votes and support! I've been working on the next chapter for awhile now. I usually post every 2-3 days, but life has gotten away from me this week (week of 6/18/18) and I want to make sure I don't publish something that's complete crap. The chapter is nearly complete and will be published soon. 

The next chapter will be published over the next couple of days. Thank you everyone!