Jordan

As I sat outside on the curb, people passed by me, staring down at me as I held my head. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Praying and hoping I wouldn't totally lose it, I rocked back and forth, keeping my knees to my chest.

"Hey, Jordan," Jamie said, standing above me. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't look at anybody and I was hungry and wanted fries and a shake, but I couldn't handle going back in there. Where's Tim? He'll know what I want...no...no...I need to grow up...I don't want Jamie calling Tim. "Jordan..." Jamie said.

"It's too noisy," I said, still holding my head and looking down at the ground. "I don't know what I want. I can't do it. I can't!" I raised my voice unintentionally. He crouched down beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I didn't want anyone touching me.

"Get away from me," I said.

"Okay. We'll go home," he said.

"No!" I shouted. "I want a burger and fries and a shake. I want...I want....I don't want to go home yet."

"Okay...okay..." he said, doing his best to stay calm and neutral. "What do you want?"

"I don't know," I said, staring down at the ground, pulling at my hair.

"I don't know how to help you. What can I do? Are you hungry?"

"Yes," I said, annoyed because I was sure he knew I was hungry.

"We can go somewhere else if you want."

"Just go," I said. "Go..."

"You want me to leave you here?"

"Get food. I'll wait here."

"Are you sure?"

"Go." I didn't care what he got me, just that he'd get me something. "I'll have what you have." There, that settled it. I made up my mind.

A little while later, Jamie returned with burgers, fries, and shakes. Thinking nothing of it, he sat down on the curb beside me. "It's salted caramel. It's one of my favorites," he said, handing me a shake. I took a big sip. It was really good. I was actually starving, which partly contributed to my freak-out. After drinking half of the shake, I started to feel better. I happily ate a couple of fries. Jamie was right; the fries really were good, maybe some of the best I'd ever eaten.

"Thank you for not calling Tim," I said.

"Why would I call Tim?" he said. "Everything's under control. It's cool. It was kind of loud in there, anyway."

While sitting on the curb, we devoured everything. As we headed back to his Jeep, I wondered what he thought about my mini freak-out. It could have been worse. Jamie had this ability to read my mind. "Hey..." Jamie said , bringing his arm around my waist. "Hey, it's alright. You're alright." He kissed the side of my face. "Why don't we go back to the house and go skinny dipping?" Nodding, that sounded good to me. I just hoped there was time before Tim got home.

"Am I your boyfriend?" I asked. He paused before answering.

"I don't know," he said. "Do you want to be?"

"Yes," I said. "Promise me you won't cheat on me?"

"I don't cheat on my boyfriends," he said. "You're thinking about Gina, right? And what she said? Gina...well, Gina...she's different. I was in a relationship with her for all the wrong reasons."

"We have to tell Tim," I said.

"I know," he sighed. "But maybe you should tell him you're gay first."

"You're just chicken," I said.

"Maybe I am," he said. "I guess I need time to prepare myself. You see, I sort of promised him I wouldn't get any ideas about you because...well...he sort of knows me really well and I liked you from the time you spit in my face. He's going to fucking kill me."

"I'm not a little kid," I said.

"I know," he said. "But to Tim you are and he just wants to protect you."

"I don't need protection," I said. "He can't control who I love." Jamie stopped walking and took me in his arms, kissing me right there in the parking lot. He felt what I felt.

On the way home we listened to a song I had never heard before. "What's this?" I asked, intrigued by the lyrics and unusual tone of the singer's voice.

"Satellite of Love," Jamie said. "Lou Reed. You know who Lou Reed is, right? Or was...he died a few years ago."

"I know who Lou Reed is," I said. "I've just never listened to his music."

"You like it?"

"Yes."

"Satellite's gone up to the skies," Lou Reed sang. "Things like that drive me out of my mind.
I watched it for a little while.
I like to watch things on TV.
Satellite of love
Satellite of love..."

I decided I really loved the song.

Closing my eyes, I leaned back in the seat, listening to the song, enjoying the lyrics and the break in the melody. "I've been told that you've been bold
With Harry, Mark and John
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday to Thursday
With Harry, Mark and John."

And then the song shifted back to the initial melody...

"Satellite's gone up to the skies
Things like that drive me out of my mind
I watched it for a little while
I love to watch things on TV
Satellite of love..."

Jamie reached over and squeezed my hand and I didn't flinch. He held my hand throughout the song. I wished we were in bed together, naked in each other's arms. I wished we could spend the night like that. What I would do for that...

By the time we got home, it was after four o'clock. Tim was usually home around five on a Friday, so Jamie wasn't sure if skinny dipping was a good idea at the moment. I thought it was a perfect idea.

Since we were crunched for time, we left all the boxes in the car. Jamie was also supposed to be making dinner again. Jamie trailed behind me as I ran around the house to the pool, shedding my clothes along the way. As my body hit the water, I nearly forgot about all the drama from earlier.

Jamie wasn't as daring and left his khaki shorts on, afraid to get caught by you know who. If he was in his boxers or swim trunks, I was sure I would have tugged them down, but I couldn't with the type of shorts he had on.

Fortunately, I just managed to put my clothes back on when Tim showed up on the pool deck. "Hey," he said to me. "Come to the house. There's someone I want you to meet."

"Are you talking to me?" I asked stupidly.

"Yeah, you," he said. "Come on."

A woman whom I didn't recognize was sitting on one of the chairs on the porch. She stood up as the three of us approached her. She was average-sized I'd say, maybe a little above average, wearing a pair of light blue capris, pink blouse, and pair of  plain brown sandals on her feet. I noticed her toenails weren't painted. She wore glasses, like Tim; her blond hair hair hung just above her shoulders. She wasn't necessarily pretty, but she wasn't ugly either. Who the hell was she?

"Uh...Jordan, this is Kelly," Tim said.

"It's nice to finally meet you," she said, extending her hand to me. I didn't reciprocate, keeping my arms at my side. I didn't know her, so I wasn't about to touch her. I wasn't stupid and realized this was the woman Tim was seeing. He rarely introduced me to any woman. He often led me to believe he never saw anyone. He thought I was some stupid little kid. Tim gave me a look that said "stop it," but I didn't care. Giving up on me at the moment, he moved on to Jamie.

"This is my friend, Jamie," he said. "He's staying with us for the summer."

"Nice to meet you," she said and the two politely shook each other's hands. I didn't like it. I didn't like that Tim brought someone home I didn't know. He didn't have the decency to tell me he was bringing someone home beforeheand. Desperate to get out of there, I ran off. I didn't even want Jamie following me, but he was so predictable, I knew he would. Not looking back, I went straight to the pond.

"Leave me alone," I said, sensing his presence as I waded through the pond.

"Why are you angry?" Jamie asked.

"I'm not angry," I insisted.

"Yes you are," he said. "You're annoyed Tim brought a girl home. It must be serious, don't you think?"

"Shut up," I said.

"He wouldn't have brought her home and introduced her to you if it wasn't..."

"Shut up!" I yelled, flinging pond water at him. I didn't want to hear it.

"You should be happy for him," he said. "Instead you're acting like a spoiled little brat." I splashed him even more. He didn't understand. He thought he knew everything, but he didn't. As he went to open his mouth again, I grabbed hold of his arm and yanked it so hard he tumbled into the pond. At first he was just stunned and so was I. His shock turned into anger. I only knew he was angry because he didn't say anything, quickly getting out of the pond. I didn't want him to be angry with me although I deserved it. I had never regretted anything so much in my life.

"I'm sorry," I said. "Wait, Jamie...I'm sorry." He walked away, not saying anything. I didn't like that. "Jamie, don't be mad. Please..."

I got out and ran after him. He didn't even acknowledge me.

"What happened to you?" Tim asked Jamie as he made his way across the porch, seething with anger. "You didn't push him in the pond, did you?" he asked me. I only shrugged because that woman was still there. Apologizing over and over, I followed Jamie into the house. With me right behind him, he went directly to the shower.

"Don't be mad at me," I said.

"Shut the door," he said and I did. With his brows furrowed, he faced me. "You know the pond grosses me out."

"I know."

"But you pulled me in, anyway."

"I know," I said, looking down and away, ashamed of myself. He stepped into me and brought his head to my shoulder. What's he doing? Catching me by surprise, he sucked my neck so hard, ending with a little bite.

"Don't ever do that again," he said in my ear. "Now get out so I can take a shower." If Tim wasn't home, then maybe he would have let me shower with him or maybe not since he was so mad at me. Instead of hanging out with Tim and that woman, I went to the pool and washed the pond water off me. By the time I returned, Jamie was at the grill, cooking chicken kebabs. Me and Jamie's eyes met briefly as I sat down. Tim sat next to that woman, which meant that Jamie had to sit beside me.

"What happened to your neck?" Tim said.

"Jamie bit me," I said matter of factly.

"You two have been spending way too much time together," Tim said. "Stop biting my brother," he said to Jamie.

"Then he should stop being a little shit," Jamie said. Moving away from the grill, he reached for the carrots on my plate and flung a few in my face.

"You guys are so cute," Kelly said.

"He's not cute," Jamie said. "He's a disgusting little boy." I wanted to jump off my seat and kick his ass and/or bite him and do other things to him that we could only do in the bedroom.

"What did you guys do today?" Tim asked. "All of a sudden you hate each other."

"We went to Boston," Jamie said. "I had to get the rest of my stuff at Gina's. We had lunch, came back and went swimming, then a little while ago he had a temper tantrum and made me fall into that disgusting pond."

"Eww, gross," Tim said. "I tell him to not go in that pond, but he just doesn't listen."

Jamie smirked at me as he sat down beside me. "I hate mushrooms," I said, removing them from the skewer.

"Then don't eat them," Jamie said. I kicked him under the table.

"I hear you're graduating from college two years early," that woman said. No, I wasn't. I just graduated from high school at 16. I chose not to answer her; I didn't know her.

"He's shy," Tim said. "And modest." Jamie let out a laugh, followed by a cough.

"What's with you?" Tim said to Jamie.

"He's not shy," he said. "Just a little shit."

There were a lot of questions I wanted to ask Tim about this woman, but couldn't with her there. Jamie had no problem asking. "Have you been going out a long time?"

"No..." Tim said.

"Eight months," Kelly said.

"Eight months is pretty long," Jamie said. I wanted her to go away. This was my house. Tim kept looking at me, then at the woman, then back at me. What did he want from me, anyway?

"I'm taking Kelly out for ice-cream later," Tim said. "You guys want to come?" That's it, I couldn't take it anymore. I picked up my plate and went inside. I was done with them.