Jordan

While changing into some dry shorts in my room, I heard the shower turn on. I was so confused. I thought Jamie really liked me. All those things we did together...the pool and the meadow, the dancing in the kitchen, the brownies, and earlier today. He kissed me and I kissed him back. I touched him, too. Now he tells me he's leaving? I knew he was leaving in September, but it was only July and I liked him. I really, really liked him, and I didn't want him to leave. Not yet. I wasn't a kid and I was more than Tim Cameron's little brother.

Fuming, I left my room and went to the bathroom. With my bare foot, I kicked the door as hard as I could and didn't care that it hurt. I kicked it again and again. The water instantly turned off and Jamie opened the door, dripping wet and holding a towel loosely around his waist. My heart skipped a beat seeing him like that. Stop thinking like that...I told myself because I was supposed to be mad at him. Face to face, I couldn't find the words I wanted to get out, more because of what was happening in my shorts.

"Calm down," he said. I was so angry I wasn't sure what I was going to do. "Give me a minute and we'll talk about it." Talk about it? Didn't he know I had a problem with talking? All I wanted was for him to stay the rest of the summer. Shaking my head, my eyes watered and I didn't like it. I wasn't one to cry; I was one to fight. "Hey," he said and went to touch my face, maybe to stroke my cheek or do something comforting, but all I wanted to do was bite his finger. Fortunately I didn't bite his finger and spit in his face instead. Jamie stood there as shocked as the first time I did it. Before I did anything else, I ran off.

"Is that the best you got?" Jamie shouted as I bolted down the stairs. If it wasn't still pouring outside, I would have run outside to hide in a spot only I knew, but since I didn't want to get wet again, I decided to go to the couch with my music. I figured my music would calm me down as it usually did.

Tim wasn't home yet and I wasn't sure when he was going to be home. I wished he were home because I was afraid I was going to do something to hurt Jamie. A few minutes later, the houseguest made an appearance in the living room. He smelled nice. Curling up on the side of the couch, I refused to look at him. I didn't want to do something I'd regret. Jamie wasn't afraid of me, though, and sat on the couch beside me.

"Don't touch me," I said, feeling his eyes on me. In an attempt to provoke me, he poked the side of my bare shoulder.

"I'm touching you," he said, poking me over and over. "Ha, ha." I kicked his leg, but that didn't stop him and he continued to poke.

"Stop it," I laughed, but I didn't want to laugh and was annoyed at myself for laughing. "Stop it," I said again. "Or I'll spit in your face again."

"What if I like it when you do that?" he said. "What if I like it when you kick and shove me?"

"Shut up," I said, not believing him and looked away again, turning up my music. Jamie snatched my headphones off my head and turned them off. Public Image Limited's Rise blared from my phone. "May the road rise with you. May the road rise with you."

"You may be wrong....ah...you may be right," Jamie sang. He really knew how to get to me, but in a good way, and my eyes drifted to him. I sat as far as I could away from him, hugging the side of the couch, wanting to be angry and annoyed. He leaned into me and kissed the side of my face. "Jordan," he said.

"Jamie," I said. He kissed the side of my face again, driving me crazy. "Don't touch me," I said as his hand moved to my bare chest, smiling against the side of my face. I didn't want to like it, but every part of me did. Every part of me liked him. "Don't touch me," I whispered.

"You like it really," he said with his lips against my neck, his hand on my chest. He kissed my neck, then my shoulder, followed by my neck again. "I liked kissing you. You're a great kisser." It was happening again. I shifted in my seat, turning my head just enough to make contact with his lips.

"Come here," he said, but I was already close to him so I wasn't sure where he wanted me to go. "Here," he said, tugging my arm.

"What?" I said irritably. "Where?" Bringing his arm around my waist, he guided me onto his lap. He was impossible to resist. His hands roamed over my chest and up to my shoulders and neck and back down again.

"I'm touching you," he said.

"Don't," I said, swallowing hard even though he had been touching me for the past five minutes. I felt funny and was a little light-headed and dizzy. "May the road rise with you," I sang to the song, trying to re-focus.

"I really like you, Jordan," he said.

"Then don't leave," I said. "I don't want you to go. Don't." He ran a finger over my bottom lip. I grabbed his hands, clutching them in mine.

"You're a lot tougher than you look," he said as I gripped his hands. Holding them even tighter, I kissed his mouth hard. "Ow...," he said as I bit his bottom lip, but I doubted I really hurt him. I kissed him again and again, bringing his hands to my back, eventually letting them go.

Digging his fingers into my lower back, he kissed me harder and harder, accepting my tongue in his mouth as I accepted his in mine. His touching didn't seem to bother me because I was distracted by so many different things.

My shorts grew tighter and tighter, so tight I couldn't stand it and unzipped them. I couldn't help it; I had to do it. I pushed down my boxers, freeing my erection. Jamie and I were so close, it pressed against his stomach. As he went to touch it, I grabbed his hands again because I wasn't so sure I wanted him touching me there. With my hands in his again, I kissed him. Kissing would just have to do.

"I want to touch you," he said in-between kisses.

"No," I said. I had to let go of one hand, though, because I needed that hand. As my hand slid up and down my erection, slowly at first, savoring every moment, I let go of his other hand. Bringing his arms around me again, my shorts loosened as Jamie slipped his hands in the back of them and inside my boxers. Reaching under me, he propped me up slightly, squeezing my butt.

"I'm touching you," he said.

"Don't," I replied half-heartedly and didn't do anything to stop him. I actually really liked his hands down there, squeezing and pushing my cheeks apart. More and more sounds escaped from my mouth, especially as he ran a finger down the middle. I didn't freak out; I liked it. I unzipped his jeans because it felt like the right thing to do and I wanted to.

"We should probably go upstairs," he said against my cheek as I exposed the tent in his boxers.

"Why?" I said, looking down and contemplating touching him. I wasn't so sure about it. He withdrew his hands from the back of my shorts and took off his shirt, which he threw on the floor. He took out his erection and rubbed it against mine.

"I'm touching you," he said as his shaft rubbed against mine. I could barely stand it. "I want to go upstairs with you." Shaking my head, I concentrated, on the verge. My hand pumped faster and faster until I couldn't take it anymore. Crying against his lips, I came and came harder than I could ever remember. My body shook as more and more liquid came out. As we kissed, I diverted my eyes to his hand as it moved just like mine did. He shot it straight up and against my chest, kissing me hard, moaning against my lips. After he finished, he abruptly threw me on my back on the couch. I didn't fight it, letting him kiss my chest and stomach, licking the areas where he got me.

"Oh...wow..." I muttered. With his chin on my stomach, he smiled up at me.  Although I had tucked myself back in, he pushed the front of my shorts back down, exposing some tufts of dark hair. He kissed all along my waist. As he pushed my shorts further down, the front door opened, which only meant one thing: Tim was home. I wanted him home earlier, but not now. I jumped up and got off the couch, quickly fixing myself. I tossed Jamie his shirt and ran upstairs to my room. I even left my phone and headphones down there. Safely in my room, I heard Tim's voice down below, followed by Jamie's quieter voice.

My knees bounced up and down while I sat on my bed, thinking about what just happened. My body wanted more. I really needed my music. Music would calm me down and get my mind off Jamie and sex and everything else I wasn't used to feeling. Unable to stand being alone without my music, I ran back downstairs. I found Tim sitting on the couch talking to Jamie. He quickly glanced at me as I entered the living room.

"Hi," Tim said to me. "Have you been behaving?" He really did think I was still ten years old.

"He's not a toddler," Jamie said in my defense as I grabbed my phone and headphones that had fallen on the floor while Jamie and I were doing our thing.

"How was the fireworks?" Tim asked, ignoring Jamie, choosing to change his line of questioning.

"Good," I said, putting my headphones back on.

"We had a good time," Jamie said.

"Hey, we're going to play mini golf later," Tim said. "Wanna come?" Didn't he remember what happened last time? Because I was losing (and badly), I flung my putter across the green, nearly striking another player. Not only that, as Tim walked me out of the mini golf range, I knocked down rows of different colored golf balls, causing a mess and a huge scene. That was a couple of years ago and I hadn't been since. Even with his blue eyes and contagious smile, Jamie couldn't convince me to go.

I pretended I didn't care they were going out; they were friends after all, but I did care because I only wanted to be with Jamie. No matter how many walks through the woods I took, I couldn't get my mind off him. My body did things whenever I thought of him.

Was I gay? What would my mother think if she knew? If she could speak, I bet she wouldn't care one way or the other, as long as I was happy.

A/N

Thanks again for reading.