Jordan

Jamie and Tim were up late last night. I waited as long as I could before falling asleep. Some time during the night my door opened once, but I was too sleepy to know if it was Jamie or Tim. Sometimes Tim would check on me for some reason, which was weird because it's not like I was going anywhere.

As usual, I woke up early, a little after Tim. Before going downstairs, I peeked in Jamie's room, finding Jamie sound asleep, his bare chest and legs exposed, the covers tangled around his waist. My heart skipped a beat seeing him like that, half naked. I had a strong urge to jump in bed with him, but Tim was still in the house. I really couldn't wait for Tim to go to work.

Before going downstairs, I grabbed my music and put my headphones on. I turned on the Smiths because that's what I was in the mood for. Since I was starving, I made my way downstairs to have some breakfast, music playing in my ears.

Tim sat at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and bowl of Frosted Flakes. After pouring myself a bowl of Cocoa Puffs, I sat down across from him.

"You were up late," I said. "For a work night."

"I guess," he said. "You should have come. You would have loved it. Jamie kicked my ass." I smiled down at my cereal, wishing I had gone to see him beat Tim. "What are you up to today?"

"Swimming," I said.

"What's new? Maybe Jamie can take you somewhere beyond our backyard. He has nothing else to do." Tim got up and carried his bowl and mug to the sink while I thought about what we could do today. Nothing came to mind. "You can go to the beach or maybe to Maine or the Cape...just somewhere different. You seem to get on well with him."

"Yeah, he's alright," I mumbled, not letting on that I thought he was more than alright. "Dad never took us fishing."

"Dad never took us anywhere," he said. "Maybe Jamie can take you. I bet his dad used to take him fishing and camping and did things normal dads usually do with their sons." Normal dad...we never had one. We never had a normal mother, either, for that matter.

"I want to take some classes on campus this year," I said, changing the subject.

"You want to take classes on campus? But you don't drive," he said.

"Yeah, I know that. I want to live on campus," I said. Shaking his head with a laugh, he searched the kitchen for his car keys. "It's not funny."

"I thought we've talked about this," he said.

"Three years ago," I said. "Anyway, you talked and I listened. You always tell me what to do."

"I don't have time to talk about this right now. We'll talk about it with Art." Art, our so-called father. He was only the man who paid the bills. I hadn't seen him since Christmas. At most we talked once a month and he did most of the talking; I did the listening. Everyone expected me to listen all the time. Tim finally found his keys under a pile of junk mail. "I gotta go," he said. "Have fun and be good." Be good. He always said that to me, making me consistently feel like an annoying, bratty, little kid.

After Tim left and I finished my cereal, I ventured back upstairs. Instead of going to my room, I went to Jamie's room. He was still asleep in the same position he was in a little while ago. At the foot of the bed I spotted an open sketchbook that I found him doodling in from time to time. Getting a closer look at it, I recognized that black and white portrait to be me, which was really, really weird. Sitting down on his bed, I examined the portrait closer. It was good; I wondered if he'd let me keep it. Still holding the sketchbook, I scooted back on the bed and sat beside Jamie as he lay on his side, asleep. Should I touch him? Deciding I should, I ran my hand over his bare shoulder and down his arm that was so much more muscular than mine.

"Hey," he said with his eyes closed. "You went to bed early."

"No I didn't," I said. "You were up late and I fell asleep. Someone checked on me last night. Was that you?"

"Maybe," he yawned, draping an arm over my lap and over the sketchbook. "I hope you don't mind that I drew you. Tim never told me he had such a cute brother."

"I'm not cute," I muttered.

"Fine," he said. "You're not cute. So...what are you listening to?"

"The Smiths," I said.

"What's your favorite Smiths' song?"

"Girlfriend in a Coma," I replied. "What's yours?"

"Panic," he said.

"Interesting," I said instead of my usual response of "typical." "Do you sleep naked?" I asked. Jamie laughed.

"I love it when you flirt," he said.

"I'm not flirting."

"Sure you're not," he said. "Do I sleep naked? Well, that depends. I didn't when you chose to sleep in my bed."

"Are you naked right now?"

"No," he said, tossing the covers off him to show me. Like me, he was in his boxers. Unable to resist much longer, my hand roamed down his bare back and over the back of his boxers. "Hey," he said against my stomach. "You've never done that before. It's okay. I don't mind." Since he didn't mind, I kept my hand there.

"Have you ever gone fishing?" I asked.

"Fishing? Yeah, when I was a kid. Why, you wanna go fishing?"

"Maybe," I said, slipping my hand inside the back of his shorts. Sighing quietly, he shifted a little. I liked touching him. With his head at my waist, he kissed my lower stomach while I squeezed his butt cheek. He slowly scooted up my body, forcing me to withdraw my hand. Face to face, he pushed the sketchbook off the bed.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked, but before he got the whole question out, my lips were already on his, my hand on the back of his neck. Our kisses turned hard and heavy quickly, our tongues wrestling with each other. As we kissed, he brought one of my legs over his and up to his hip.

"Wait," I said, bringing my leg down to take off my shorts. Jamie's eyes met mine as he did the same. I brought my leg over his again, rubbing my arousal against his.

"Touch me," I said as my body shook slightly against his.

"Yeah? Where?"

"Everywhere," I said, my body burning hot and it wasn't because it was hot in his room. His hands slid down my back and over my butt, then up again, and back down. I moaned into his mouth as his finger dragged between my cheeks. My body grinded against him, back and forth slowly while his finger trailed along my crack and over the back of my balls.

These unfamiliar feelings were almost too much for me to take and I accidentally bit down on his bottom lip. "One day you're going to bite my lip right off. Relax," he said, guiding me to my back. How could I relax at a time like this? He brought his hand between my legs and touched me lightly, too lightly. Still, I gasped, holding my breath for a few seconds. He pushed it back and forth with his hand, kissing my neck. His lips trailed along my collar bone, over my shoulder, and down to my chest.

"What are you doing?" I asked as his lips made their way lower and lower. He kissed my lower stomach, right above my pelvis. I propped myself up on my elbows, looking down at him, watching him closely. He kissed one inner thigh, then the other.

"Can I kiss you here?" he asked, circling the tip with his finger. It was too much; I couldn't breathe.

"Yeah," I squeaked out. As his lips made contact, I inhaled deeply, so deeply I held my breath for a few seconds. "Oh wow..." I breathed as he took more and more in his mouth. "That feels so good," I said, intense heat running through my veins, something I had never felt before in my life. "How are you doing that?" Releasing me, his tongue slid up the shaft before he snaked up my body to kiss my mouth. "I didn't say stop," I said. He only smiled, backing away from my lips to resume where he left off. He kissed all around it, eventually taking the whole thing in his mouth. "Oh fuck," I muttered. My back arched, holding the back of his head as I came right in his mouth. Ordinarily I would have been embarrassed or I would have run away, but my body was paralyzed yet satisfied and content in a strange, unusual way. Jamie didn't break away from me and didn't seem disgusted by any of it. He held me there until I was finished. "I'm dizzy," I said, closing my eyes, breathing heavily once again, nearly panting, as my heart beat wildly. The mattress shifted and I knew Jamie had gotten off the bed. I opened one eye to see him leave the room. "Wait..." I said, but didn't move. He returned with a glass of water and handed it to me. I gladly took it, my eyes following him around the bed until he plopped back down beside me. My eyes wandered down his body, which still stood at attention.  "I liked that," I said, taking another sip of water. "What you did. I liked it."

"Yeah, I could tell," he said.

"Can I touch you?" I asked.

"Yes," he said. "Please do." My hand shook as I went to touch him. I suddenly stopped, having second thoughts, afraid I wouldn't do it right or something. Jamie sensed my hesitation and placed a hand over mine, guiding it down to him. As my hand landed on him, he brought his lips back to mine. He moaned against my mouth as my hand slid up and down, pumping faster the harder we kissed. His body suddenly jerked into mine, possibly coming quicker than he expected. We kissed and I held my hand there until he was done. As his body relaxed, I removed my hand and wiggled my gooey, sticky fingers in front of Jamie's face. As I went to bring my fingers to my mouth, he pulled my hand away, bringing it to his lips instead, kissing and licking each of them.

"That was so much fun," I said, but noticed a weird look in his eyes. They almost seemed teary as he nodded. "Are you sad? Did I do something wrong?" He shook his head and curled up beside me, resting his head against my chest. "Girlfriend in a coma, I know...I know, it's serious...My, my, my, my, my, my baby, goodbye..." I sang. Jamie half-laughed.

"Do you really think she'll pull through?" Jamie sang. "Do you really think she'll pull through? Do...Let me whisper my last goodbyes...I know, it's serious..."

"Girlfriend in a coma, I know...I know, it's serious..." We both sang. "My, my, my, my, my, my baby, goodbye..."

"What a fucked up song, huh?" he said.

"Jamie?" I said, stroking the back of his head.

"Jordan," he said.

"Let's go fishing."