Jamie

He's not like Gavin. He's nothing like him...I kept telling myself. While Jordan most definitely was nothing like my deceased boyfriend, I hadn't felt anything like this since him. The feeling was the same and it happened so fast. I was afraid to fall in love again, convinced I'd never survive another heartbreak or loss. It was easier to have a "friends-with-benefits" type of relationship or better yet, one with no strings attached like Brendan. With Brendan, there were no expectations; just sex.

Gavin Anderson was outgoing, funny, and smart, a high school Biology teacher. A colleague of mine, we met while I was a student teacher at Boston High. He had already been teaching for a few years before we met. Tim never really paid much attention to my love life, except for when I alternated between men and women. He couldn't figure that out. Neither could I, but there were plenty of bisexual men and women around; I just wasn't one of them.

Gavin struggled with diabetes his entire life. When Gavin was twenty-seven, his twenty-three year old brother donated one of his kidneys. The kidney transplant failed and not long after he started dialysis. I'd drop him off at the dialysis center everyday after school and pick him up at eight—it was a five hour process three days a week. And then, after all that, his body finally gave out and I was the one who held his hand as he passed away on the morning of November 2nd. He didn't deserve to die at thirty. At only twenty-five, I was convinced I'd never find love like him again.

Until this little shit named Jordan came along.

How could I have ever let myself get involved with Jordan Cameron? He was only nineteen and naive and innocent with a whole set of problems Tim merely alluded to. Still, I couldn't help the way I felt. I knew I couldn't leave. I didn't want to leave until the very last minute...until that very last minute in the airport when "last call" was announced.

"You need a shower," I said, finding Jordan back in my room in a pair of khaki shorts and a t-shirt, ready to go. We were going fishing, something I hadn't done since I was a teenager.

"Why? We're only going to get all sweaty again," he said. "I'll take one later."

"Yeah, right. You'll just go swimming and that's the end of that."

"Come on, let's go," he said.

"Take a shower first," I said, stepping into him. He stepped into me, too, but unlike me, he kissed me. "No," I said against his lips. "Take a shower." As he backed away from me, I knew he wasn't going to take one. He went downstairs instead and packed a mini cooler full of Coke and water. Once he was satisfied we had everything he thought we needed, we were off.

"Hey ho, let's go. Hey ho, let's go," Jordan and I sang to the classic lyrics of the Ramones' Blitzkrieg Bop on the top of our lungs as I drove down the winding country roads. The Ramones were probably one of his favorite bands of all time. We continued to sing...

"They're forming in a straight line.
They're going through a tight wind.
The kids are losing their minds.
The blitzkrieg bop."

Jordan had a pretty good singing voice...for punk rock, anyway. Not only that, he was more animated and happiest when he was singing. I wasn't sure Tim knew that about him.

When I was six or so, my dad took me fishing for the first time at Long Lake, about forty-five minutes away from our house. It was good place to start for beginner fishermen. Jordan and I rented a row boat and fishing poles, neither of which Jordan knew anything about. Jordan attempted to row, but didn't get very far.

"Fuck this," he said, annoyed, letting go of the oars. I had to be quick to catch them before they floated away. While I took over, Jordan sulked in his seat.

"No temper tantrums allowed," I said, kicking his leg. He stuck out his tongue at me and turned his back to me. "What a nice tongue you have," I said, rowing to the middle of the lake. There were a few others on the lake, mostly dads with their young sons.

It was hot as hell out, but Jordan liked it that hot. While I rowed, I watched him take off his black Chucks and shirt. His skin wasn't as white as it was when I first saw him although he wasn't as tanned as I was. Noticing my eyes on him, he blushed, instantly bringing a smile to my lips. I'm in so much trouble, I thought to myself.

Lounging on the boat, Jordan held the fishing pole in one hand, a can of Coke in his other hand.

"My dad used to bring a cooler of beer," I said. "Every now and again he'd let me have a sip. What'd your dad do with you when you were a kid?" He didn't talk about his dad much; I was just curious.

"I can't remember," he said.

"Where is he now?"

He paused a second. "Greenland...or Finland...I'm not sure which. He never took us fishing. He was always working."

"That's what Tim says," I said. He tensed a little and I regretted bringing him up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset," he said. Very quickly, I noticed a tug on his fishing line, which was a good thing because I really didn't want an annoyed, sad Jordan.

"I think you got a bite," I said.

Jordan jumped to his feet, excited he caught a fish for the first time. I was probably just as excited the first time I caught a fish, too. At the same time, Jordan was just as quick to release the fish back into the lake. He did this a few times while I hadn't caught any. "Beginners' luck," I said.  As he put down his fishing pole, I thought he had enough for the day and was ready to go back, but I was wrong. He decided to jump in the lake, which was deeper than he expected. "I didn't think we were going swimming," I said, leaning over the side of the boat, watching him tread water not far away. He splashed me in response. Swimming around the boat on his back, he kicked and splashed me on purpose, but I was used to it by now. I especially didn't mind since I was hot and sweaty and probably shouldn't have wasted my time showering before this trip. He held on to the side of the boat, attempting to get back in, but he couldn't without assistance. Grabbing hold of the back of his shorts, I heaved him back into the boat.

"Thanks," he said, dripping wet and holding my arms. "Are you going to stay the rest of the summer?" he asked, his chocolate brown eyes looking hard and intently at me.

"I'm not ready to say goodbye," I said, combing my fingers through his wet curls. If his hair was completely straight, it'd be almost down to his chin instead of his ears.

"Good," he said and kissed my lips. Taking me in his arms, he kissed me harder. As much as I didn't want to, I broke away from him because we weren't alone on the lake. "I like kissing you," he said.

"Yeah, so I noticed," I said, rowing us back to the shore. "I like kissing you, too."

After our fishing excursion, we stopped for ice-cream on the way home. I suggested we play a round of mini golf, too, but Jordan adamantly declined. "I'm a sore loser," he said. Yeah, I had a feeling he was a sore loser.

By the time we got home, it was close to four o'clock. Tim was usually home by five. As I expected, Jordan went straight to the pool instead of to the shower. He took off everything and jumped in the pool. I was hesitant to take off my clothes, afraid Tim would come home any minute and catch us so I jumped in with my shorts on.

"Chicken," Jordan said, climbing into that swim tube he loved so much. Lounging in the tube, his legs dangled in the water. As I approached him, I splashed him like crazy because that's what he always did to me. In retaliation, he kicked water back at me. I pushed a side of the tube under water, causing Jordan to tumble out. As he disappeared under water, I knew he was up to something. Sure enough, he tugged my shorts down and bobbed back up in front of me, laughing and proud of himself.

"You think you're so funny," I said. He dunked himself under water again. When he came back up, he spit a bunch of pool water at me. Why did that even surprise me? "That doesn't gross me out," I said. Grasping a clump of his hair, I pulled his head back as he went to bring his mouth to the water again. "But that doesn't mean you can do it again. You like it when I pull your hair, huh?"

"Maybe," he said. He kissed me once, then hugged me, bringing his legs around my body, which he liked to do. As I held him up under his ass, he kissed my neck so hard I was sure he was going to leave a mark.

"Hey," I said. "You're going to give me a hickey."

"Oops..." he said, fingering the area delicately with his finger. "I think I did."

"I'm too old for that," I said. "What are you doing now?" His mouth clamped down on my shoulder, that same spot where he bit me not too long ago, but he didn't bite me this time. He sucked so hard and I hated to admit how much I loved it. "Jordan..." I whispered. Moaning quietly, his body shuddered slightly as I squeezed his ass, pushing his cheeks apart. He always liked it when I did that. He brought his lips to mine and I eagerly kissed him; he was an amazing kisser who didn't shy away from using his tongue.

"Touch me again," he said in-between kisses.

"I am touching you," I said.

"Not there," he said. Carrying him to the side of the pool, I lifted him out, sitting him on the deck while I stood in front of him, still in the pool. He looked down while I looked up at him, his eyes begging me.

"You want me to touch you here, huh?" I said flirtatiously, circling the tip of his cock with my finger while running my other finger up and down his shaft. Yeah, that's what he wanted. "Like this?" Nodding, he held his breath like he often did. "Or this..." I ran my finger over his slit before bringing my lips down to it.

"Yeah," he said quietly, swallowing hard. My finger glided over it back and forth, alternating between my finger and my tongue. I squeezed his cock with my hand as his ass lifted off the deck, slowly releasing himself against my chin. I took him all the way in my mouth, letting him finish. He held the back of my head, bending over to kiss the top of it.

"Tim's home," Jordan gasped, pushing me away to stand up. I had never seen him get dressed so quickly. "Hurry up," he said and ran off. I was so distracted, I didn't hear a car door open and close, which felt like miles away from the pool. Somehow Jordan heard it.

By the time I regathered my senses and headed back to the house, I found Tim and Jordan sitting outside on the porch. Jordan was drinking a Coke, looking completely innocent. I smiled to myself as he merely glanced at me.

"Hey," Tim said. "I hear you went fishing."

"Yeah," I said. "Jordan's never been."

"Yeah, he got this idea in his head this morning that he wanted to go," Tim said. "Catch anything good?"

"No," I said. "He released the fish back into the lake. That's okay. That's what most kids do on the lake." Jordan scowled at me because I said "kid." "Calm down," I said to him. "I wasn't calling you a kid." I ruffled his wet curls on my way inside the house to take a shower and change.

Throughout dinner, I had a hard time taking my eyes off him. It was becoming harder and harder to pretend, especially as Jordan's bare foot rubbed against my leg under the table. I wanted to kick him, but that would have seemed too obvious. In the middle of dinner, Jordan got up. Apparently he was done eating.

"Where you off to?" Tim asked.

"Off," he said and headed down the porch stairs. I so wanted to go with him, but Tim had already warned me not to "get any ideas" in regards to Jordan. Too late; it was far, far too late. Jordan glanced over his shoulder at me as he walked down the porch stairs. I nearly melted in my seat. It was a good thing Tim lit up. I was more than happy to share with him.

"Uh...Tim...thanks for letting me stay here this summer," I said as he inhaled. "It must really piss you off going to work everyday when I'm here having fun."

"Fun," he said. "I'd be bored out of my mind doing nothing everyday."

"I don't do nothing everyday," I said. "I swim and draw and go for ice-cream with Jordan. I've gone raspberry picking..."

"Oh no, he took you there, huh?"

"Yeah, a few times," I said.

"He didn't go swimming in that pond, did he?"

"He did," I said.

"I told him not to," he said. "It's disgusting. He's been doing that since he was a kid. He used to bring back turtles and frogs from that pond all the time. Once he built a house out of a Folger's coffee can...you know, one of those really big cans we bought at Walmart or Costco...before we got the keurig machine. Well, he had four frogs living in that can at one time. He even poked holes in the lid. I remember their names, too. Alberto, Leonardo, Miguel, and Luigi. He was devastated when they died. We buried them out back somewhere, along with the hamsters and a couple of goldfish." He paused, taking another hit from the bowl before passing it to me. "He seems happier lately. Does he talk to you? I mean, really talk to you?"

"Yes," I said.

"Yeah, I guess you have that effect on people," he said. I'm not exactly sure what he meant by that. "I'm worried about him. I'm not sure what the future has in store for him."

"I don't know, Tim, but I think he's going to be okay. You just might be surprised."

With his headphones on, Jordan returned to the porch and my eyes followed him inside as he hummed Blitzkrieg Bop. Either he was listening to it or he was remembering the song from earlier. I wondered if he was going inside to finally take a shower.

"Are you going to take a shower?" I asked just as he was about to enter the house.

"Maybe," he said.

"Take a shower," Tim said. "Your legs and feet are covered in mud." Jordan shot him an annoyed look and went inside. Tim shook his head at him while I smiled.  "Say, Jamie, would you mind if I went out?" Tim said once Jordan disappeared. Mind? No, I don't mind, I wanted to exclaim, but played it cool.

"No, go ahead," I said. "I'll just hang out with Jordan and listen to music or watch a movie."

"He doesn't watch movies," he said.

"We'll listen to music then," I said.

Tim took a quick shower before going out on his date. He really liked this girl and I couldn't figure out why he was so secretive about it. As soon as Tim left, I pretty much ran up the stairs to see Jordan. I found him sitting on his bed, his door open, in only his boxers. At least he was clean. "Hey," I said. "Tim's gone out."

"Yeah," he said. "He told me."

"So, you wanna watch a movie or something?" I asked, standing in his doorway. "Oh yeah, I forgot. Tim said you don't watch movies. We could go for a ride or a walk or maybe go swimming again or we could go get ice-cream or..." Jordan bolted to me, throwing himself at me, kissing me full on my mouth. I gathered he didn't want to go anywhere but here.

"Take your shirt off," he said, lifting it over my head. He kissed my neck hard, probably right beside the little present he gave me earlier. He kissed my collar bone and Adam's apple as his hand reached inside my boxers. He was so impatient. His lips grazed over each nipple.

"Or we can play," I said, backing him into his room.

"I like playing with you," he said.

"You're flirting again."

"I don't know how to flirt," he said, pushing my boxers down. I stepped out of them and tackled him to his bed.

A/N

This is my first draft and as I write I'm discovering more and more about my three main characters (Jamie, Jordan, and Tim). I apologize if there are any inconsistencies. Once I'm done, I'll go back and fix them. I may even go back and change things along the way.

I'm so excited for the love and support this story has received. Thank you so much for your votes and comments!