Jamie

No one, not even Gavin, had ever made me breakfast in bed. I certainly never expected it from Jordan. That's what made it even more special. After a brief conversation with Tim out in the hallway, Jordan now sulked on his bed.

"Hey, what's the matter with you?" I asked, kicking his foot with mine. He didn't say anything, taking a bite of his toast. "Is Tim okay? What's going on?"

"He's going to see Mom today," he said. "He's taking me instead of you." I wasn't actually planning on going anywhere today, so it was a little unfair of Jordan to assume I would take him again. I didn't mind taking him and going to the beach with him, but she was Tim's mother, too. Besides, I just didn't feel like going.

"Maybe we can do something when you come back," I said.

"Like what?" he said with a pout.

"You're cute when you pout, you know that?"

"Shut up," he said, getting out of bed. "I'm not cute."

"Okay. You're not cute," I said. "Even if you are." He went to the window and opened the blinds a few inches, letting in the morning sun. It was definitely a perfect beach day. I just wasn't in the mood. "We can go to a Drive-in tonight. There's one about an hour from here. Oh, I forgot you don't watch movies." My parents used to take Liz and I to that same Drive-in when we were little. I probably hadn't been there since. It just came to my mind, something different than swimming or fucking.

"I've never been to a Drive-in before," he said. "I like some movies. Did Tim tell you I don't like movies? I saw the Avengers, you know, opening night."

"I forgot you like Marvel Comics. You told me I looked like Thor."

"Before his hair got chopped off," he said. "If I go with you, what do I tell Tim?"

"Well, maybe Tim can go see his girlfriend," I said, approaching him at the window. "That's what he wanted to do last night."

"Yeah, I guess."

"We could go to the Drive-in, then come back and go swimming. It'll be really late, so I'm sure Art won't be up."

"Okay," he said. I tugged at his bottom lip, making his pout go away. His pout turned into a reluctant smile. Placing a hand on the back of my neck, he kissed me. His kissing almost always ended with something more.

"You have to take a shower and get ready," I said in-between kisses.

He hopped up on the window sill and wrapped his legs around my body. 

"Oh no...You're going to kill me, you know that?" I carried him to the bed and dropped him on it. "We'll do this later," I said, looking down at him.

"Take a shower with me," he said while I pulled up my shorts. "Hey, where are you going?"

"I have to pee, is that all right with you?" I teased him.  Still, he got up and followed me. "Stay here. I'll be right back," I laughed as he trailed behind me. I ended up closing the door on him. Emerging from the bathroom, Tim suddenly appeared, standing there in the hallway staring at me as my laughter subsided.

"Uh, sorry...just have to go to the bathroom," I said.

"Tell your roommate to hurry up," he said.

As if on cue, Jordan opened his bedroom door in a pair of boxers. He looked at me, then at Tim, and back to me again. After a brief pause, he ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. Damn, I really had to pee.

"I better hear the water turn on," Tim shouted to him behind the bathroom door.  Because I had to pee desperately, I ran pass Tim down the stairs, running into the downstairs' bathroom.

"If you're lucky enough, maybe you'll still have time to join him in the shower," Tim called  from the kitchen, instantly catching my attention with his strange, unexpected, and dubious comment.

"What?" I said, entering the kitchen. Tim was at the counter, making a cup of coffee.

"What?" he mocked me. "Oh, come on, Jordan was just aching for you to go with him."

Stunned and in shock, I wasn't sure what to say or do or how to react. My first inclination was to apologize, but then I decided not to because I didn't feel like I had anything to apologize for.

"What are you talking about?" I said although I was pretty sure I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I'm not stupid and I'm not blind," he said, sitting down at the table with his cup of coffee. I sat down across from him and together we sat in awkward silence for a minute or two. He wasn't as pissed off as I thought he'd be although he was clearly irritated.

"I wasn't going to say anything," he said. "I was waiting for one of you to say something, but I can't wait anymore, not when you're rubbing it in my face."

"Rubbing what in your face?"

"Don't even..." he said, shaking his head. "Do you really think I'm that oblivious?"

"Uh...well...maybe you should talk to Jordan," I said, not quite prepared for this type of conversation. "I've done nothing wrong."

"I never said you did," he said.

"He's not a child," I added.

"I know," he said. "I've spent the majority of my life protecting him. I don't want him to get hurt. I don't want you to get hurt, either."

"Me? Why are you so worried about me?"

"I don't know if you're strong enough for him," he said.

"Fuck off," I said, folding my arms over my bare chest. I wasn't the violent type, but I had an urge to leap across the table and punch Jordan's big brother's face in.

"You know how different he is," Tim said. "You have no idea what's he's been through or what he's done. I would love for him to go off to college, live on campus, and do all those things normal nineteen year olds do, but he's not like normal nineteen year olds."

"What's normal, anyway?" I said.

"You know what I mean," he said.

"I really love him, you know," I said. He rolled his eyes at me, looking back down at his coffee. "I love everything about him. And he really cares what you think, you know. Almost everything is like, I don't think Tim will like this or Tim says this or Tim told me this...and you told him a lot of stupid things. What the fuck's up with that?"

"You don't have a kid brother. It can be kind of fun sometimes."

"Anyway, he doesn't want to disappoint you. He could give two shits what your dad thinks, but you...I don't know...he thinks you'll be upset because he's growing up. He's under the impression you want him to stay a boy forever. He feels like you need him to stay that way." Tim paused before responding.

"He told you that?"

"Yes," I said.

"He really talks to you then?"

"Yes, I guess he does."

"I don't want him to stay a boy forever," he said. "That's not what I want at all. I want him to be happy. That's all I ever wanted for him. He's clearly happy with you. I know he loves you. I know he's in love with you. The way he looks at you...its really annoying. Do you always have this power over guys?"

"I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. No, I don't have power over anyone."

"You have pretty blue eyes," he teased me.

"Shut the fuck up," I said.

"I never pictured him gay," I said. "I never pictured him straight, either, or bi, or whatever. I guess I always thought of him as a little kid and never...well...gay?"

"He's so fucking  gay," I said.

"Spare me the graphics."

"He's one of the gayest guys I've ever been with."

"Stop...please," he said.

"He's a lot of fun," I added.

"You need to shut up. I need to know one thing: Who came on to whom first?"

I smiled, thinking about it.

"It was sort of a joint effort. He's a little flirt, you know. You have no idea."

"I guess I don't," he said. "Maybe I don't know him as well as I thought I did."

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked. "I can stay at Liz's if our relationship bothers you."

"I'm not homophobic," he said. "We've been friends for how long? Give me some credit, huh? Jordan would never forgive me if I kicked you out. I'm not angry at you. I would have been two months ago. Maybe you've met your match in him. Maybe...I don't want him to get hurt. Promise me you won't hurt him. He means the world to me."

"I know," I said. "I'd never hurt him. We're going on a date tonight, but he doesn't want you to know so do him a favor and go to your girlfriend's. You look like you could get laid."

"Shut up," he said. "That's what I was trying to do last night."

"But you were drunk. You couldn't go anywhere."

"Yeah, I know," he said. "And I'm still paying for it. Where are you going on your date?"

"To the Milford Drive-in. Cool, huh?"

Jordan entered the kitchen, his hair dripping wet, curls everywhere, still in only his boxers, holding his phone and headphones. I wanted him all over again.

"You're dripping everywhere," Tim said. To be a wise ass, Jordan shook his hair over Tim like a wet dog, getting him all wet. "Stop," he laughed. "Where are your clothes? We're leaving soon."

"In an hour," he said, glancing at me with a flirtatious smile, which he quickly tried to hide. Glancing over his shoulder, he walked out of the kitchen. I heard the sliding door of the porch open and close.

"He just took a shower and he's going to go wandering off into the woods," Tim said, shaking his head. "Go to him. I know you want to."

Was it that obvious?

"Jamie," Tim said, stopping me from leaving the kitchen."Whatever you do, don't ever hurt him."

Of course I never intended on hurting him. No one ever intends on hurting the one they love. At least I liked to think that. I found Jordan lying in the clearing on the grass, his headphones on, his feet swaying back and forth to the song on his phone.

"Why'd you ever bother taking a shower?" I asked, lying beside him. Dropping his hand on my thigh, he didn't say anything for a minute or two.

"Art found out what I got on the MCAT," he abruptly said.

"I thought you said no one knew."

"He knew because he paid for it," he said. "He keeps going on and on. He says I'm a genius and tells me I should go to Oxford with him because he's teaching there this year or something."

"What did you get?" I asked out of curiosity.

"I did well," he said. "Really well."

"So it's better than just "good," which is what you told me."

"Yeah, almost perfect. I almost got a perfect score, alright?" he said irritably. "I like to read. I remember everything I read."

"Like a photographic memory?"

"I read somewhere there's no such thing," he said. "So now Art wants to show me off to everyone, take me to some fancy school. I don't want to go away."

"When did he tell you all this?" I asked since he seemed to be by my side all the time.

"He texted me," he said.

"Are you serious?" I said, leaning on my elbow.

"Why would I make that up?" he said.

"True," I said. "So he wants you to go to Oxford? What's wrong with that? I'll be in England."

"I know," he said, but didn't look too happy about it. "I don't want to be his trophy. I don't want to be paraded around, reminding me that I'm some kind of freak of nature. I want to graduate from college first before going to med school or going to any graduate school. All I want is to take a few classes on campus and I don't care where. Are you mad? Are you mad that I'd give up the chance to be close to you to stay here?"

"No, I'm not mad," I said. "I think you know yourself better than anyone else. And to be honest with you, you made a lot of sense."

"I'm afraid he won't listen to me. He's making all these plans for me."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? I had no idea. Tim didn't say anything, either."

"Tim doesn't know, either." Jordan leaned on his elbow so we faced each other. "I want to go to medical school," he said. "I do...and I wouldn't mind going to Harvard or Dartmouth or...or...you're mad, aren't you? You think I'm stupid and a shit because I'll give up the chance to be close to you? You think I don't love you, right?"

"No," I said. "I don't think you're stupid at all. You're a genius, remember?" He half-smiled. "You should tell Tim about the MCAT and how you feel. You shouldn't do something you don't want to do."

"I want to visit you, though."

"And I want you to," I leaned over and kissed him before rolling on top of him. "Although I would love it if you went. We'd see each other on the weekends and..."

"I hate him," he interrupted me. "I want to be close to you, but I don't want to be close to him and I don't want to move to England. He just wants to show me off. I don't want that. He doesn't really care about me. He didn't ask me what I wanted. He just told me." I kissed him to shut him up because he was getting himself all worked up. Jordan knew exactly what he wanted and not many people, especially nineteen year olds, knew what they wanted.

"It's good that you know what you want," I said. He slipped his hands inside the back of my shorts. "And you always want this."

"Please? I'll be gone all day." He guided my head down his body. Of course he was already at attention and ready for my lips.

When we returned to the house, Art was sitting on the porch, engrossed in his laptop, his cell phone also on the table. He was in the middle of some kind of conference call, barely acknowledging Jordan as he entered. It was like he couldn't even look at him yet he wanted to take him all the way to school in England?

"Every time I see you falling," Jordan sang the lyrics to New Order's Bizarre Love Triangle as it played through his headphones, walking across the porch and into the house, passing Tim along the way. Jordan didn't care, continuing to sing.

"I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You say the words that I can't say..."

I really loved the way he sang.

A/N

These chapters are becoming more and more difficult to write, so I apologize if it takes me longer than usual to post them.

Thanks to everyone who reads and votes!