Summary: "So, I'd risk tetanus just to see you. Apparently, it's not just reflexes I'd be lacking in, but common sense." In which Sakura imagines a different life, and Sasuke somehow manages to be sweet and an ass at the same time. [SasuSaku Festival 2017 – Day 6 – Prompt: "Civilian & Shinobi Love"]

Disclaimer: This story utilises characters, situations and premises that are copyright Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha, Shonen Jump and Viz media. No infringement on their respective copyrights pertaining to episodes, novelisations, comics or short stories is intended by KuriQuinn in any way, shape or form. This fan-oriented story is written solely for the author's own amusement and the entertainment of the readers. It is not for profit. Any resemblance to real organizations, institutions, products or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

All plot and Original Characters except for those introduced in the canon books, manga, video games, novelizations and anime, are the sole creation of KuriQuinn. (© KuriQuinn 2016- )

Rating: K

Warning: Spoilers for pretty much everything up to Chapter 699. Dialogue-only fic.

Canon-Compliance: As close to canon as fanfiction can possibly be. With a few personal additions :P Takes place during the Blank Period.

Beta Reader: Sakura's Unicorn

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"Do you ever think about it?"

"Think about what?"

"If we weren't shinobi. Or if only one of us was. Would that've changed anything?"

"...No."

"Really? You think so?"

"You would've still found your way to a profession that helps people. That's who you are."

"I find it funny that you assume I'd be the one who ended up a civilian in this scenario."

"Balance of probability. I can't see myself as anything else."

"Really? Because I have no problem picturing you as working in a restaurant or a café or something. It's your all-encompassing love of people, you know?"

"Your sense of humour leaves much to be desired."

"But, darling, you'd look so good in a uniform!"

"Tch. I'm going back to sleep now."

"No, no—listen! I could come by to see you after my latest mission from ANBU, order a coffee—"

"You have an overactive imagination."

"—and I'd be the only one whose order you always knew perfectly, because you looove me—"

"Debatable."

"—and I'd always choose that shop because your coffee is amazing."

"This would never happen, Sakura."

"But it would! You make excellent coffee—you know, for a tea-drinker."

"Why would I own a café if I don't drink coffee?"

"I didn't say you'd own it, just that you'd work there."

"So, not only am I not a shinobi, but I'm not even an entrepreneur."

"I don't think you have the patience to start your own business."

"And yet, apparently, I have the patience for public service?"

"Of course! You'd just have to look at people a certain way and they'd shut up and buy whatever you told them to. And no one would ever complain because they'd be too afraid."

"..."

"And, of course, you'd work with Naruto because he wouldn't be a shinobi either."

"Oh?"

"In fact, I'd be the one on the fast track to becoming the next Hokage."

"I see. And what would the illustrious next Hokage be doing, wasting her time on some café worker?"

"They call them baristas."

"Baris—no, they don't."

"Yes, they do."

"That's not a word."

"It is so, you dinosaur! Which you'd know if we ever spent any time in the bigger cities. There's an entire café culture."

"If you say so. But you haven't answered my question."

"Which question?"

"Why would an elite shinobi with the talent to become the next Hokage want to spend time with a lowly barista?"

"Just because you sneer, doesn't make it any less of a word."

"Tch."

"Anyway, the answer's simple."

"...Yes?"

"Because you'd be my caffeine supplier! You don't get between a healer and her caffeine."

"Ah. Naturally."

"And, of course, all the injuries."

"Injuries?"

"Well, you'd keep getting angry at Naruto or Kiba for something—"

"Why is Kiba in this fantasy of yours?"

"It's not a fantasy. And he's there because I think he annoys you more than Naruto does, and it would have to be someone really irritating for you to keep accidentally burning your fingers on hot kettles or crushing glasses to stop yourself from punching him whenever he says something stupid."

"It would seem this fictional version of me is very uncoordinated."

"Well, you wouldn't be a shinobi, so you wouldn't have all those great reflexes."

"I see."

"And so, with all the injuries, you'd always end up at the hospital. And I'd have to take care of you because, like I said, caffeine supplier—I couldn't leave you in just anyone's hands."

"I thought you were ANBU? You wouldn't be at the hospital."

"Okay, maybe not always, but in my spare time. You'd be so stubborn about it, too. If I was on a mission, you'd suffer in silence until I came in again. Then you'd pretend you weren't hurt, waiting for me to notice and take pity on you and heal you."

"So, I'd risk tetanus just to see you. Apparently, it's not just reflexes I'd be lacking in, but common sense."

"...I'm not touching that one with a ten-foot pole."

"..."

"Don't give me that look."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do."

"Your back is to me and you can't see in the dark."

"Doesn't matter. I know your every expression. And face it, you've never been the poster child for— ow!"

"Sakura?!"

"Um, hold that thought."

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. She just...decided to use my ribs for taijutsu practice, I think."

"Do you need—?"

"No, no. Stay put. I'm just going to turn over. Oof! Okay. That's...that's not really much better."

"Do you need help standing up? You seem to feel better when you walk around."

"Maybe in a little while. She might calm down again. Here. Give me your hand."

"Here?"

"Yes. Right there. Sometimes she stops if she meets a little resistance."

"Are we sure she's mine then?"

"Very funny."

"..."

"Mmm. Warm hand. I knew I kept you around for a reason."

"I thought it was for my supposed coffee-making skills."

"Oh, of course. And the way you look in a uniform, of course. Don't forget that."

"You've never seen me in a uniform."

"Doesn't mean I can't imagine it."

"You realise all of this is moot. It would never happen. I only ever wanted to be a shinobi."

"I know."

"It was a life that was good enough for...my parents and my brother. I wanted it, too. I didn't know anything else."

"I know, Sasuke. And...and your family did run the village police."

"Yes."

"So, no matter what, you were going to grow up to protect people."

"Hm."

"I guess I'd be the civilian after all. I wasn't even supposed to become a shinobi, you know."

"..."

"It wasn't something I was interested in. My parents had me enter the Academy because I was really shy. They hoped it'd get me to break out of my shell. And as time went on, all I wanted to do was impress Ino. Oh, and of course, get noticed by a certain someone."

"..."

"Anyway, if...if things hadn't gone the way they did, I don't know what I would've done. Teach at a civilian school. Maybe."

"You would be a good teacher."

"Maybe. I probably wouldn't have a choice. And...well...I guess if I were a civilian, you'd never look my way."

"You have pink hair, Sakura. It's impossible not to look at you."

"I think there was a compliment in there."

"I just said you'd be a good teacher."

"You know what I mean. And I'd just like to point out that before you side-tracked us into this coffee-shop-police-officer-teacher scenario—"

"Because, clearly, I'm the who dreamed all this up."

"—I was actually asking about us. Not our jobs. Not what we...could've been. I just was wondering...do you think...do you think we would've still ended up together?"

"I don't know."

"Oh."

"It's...that's not a fair question, Sakura. There are too many—infinite—factors that would affect something like that."

"I guess..."

"..."

"..."

"I would...like to think we would."

"Really?"

"That surprises you?"

"It's just...sometimes I wonder, you know, if the only reason you...well, if the only reason you wanted to be with me was because...because I..."

"Because you're the only person foolish enough to care for me?"

"So, you did think it was foolish."

"No. Unwarranted, maybe. Especially considering everything."

"Most of that wasn't your fault."

"Enough of it was."

"..."

"I will never stop being thankful to you."

"I know..."

"And it's not...you know that's not the only reason. For this. For any of it."

"I know—of course, I know! Really, it's just hormones. They make me self-conscious and silly. I mean, really! You in a coffee-shop or me as a teacher? I can't even imagine what I'd do if I had a student like Naruto—or one like me! I'd be horrible. I'd probably punt the little bastard through a window."

"Iruka should have done that more often with Naruto."

"Yes, well, that might work in the Academy, but I don't think you're allowed to attack students in a civilian school. It might cause a scandal or something. And that'd just be another strike against me, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'd be a civilian, and a horrible teacher as well. Not exactly the girl you bring home to meet your parents. But you wouldn't be bringing me home anyway because I'm not an Uchiha."

"You are an Uchiha."

"You know what I mean. I know your family was traditional. They would've expected you to choose some gorgeous, genius, ultra-talented Uchiha girl or something."

"I would say those expectations have been met."

"..."

"..."

"That's...you... How is it that you can be sweet and an ass at the same time?"

"It's a talent of the universally reviled. We tend to be utterly contradictory."

"You're not kidding."

"It helps that I'm being completely truthful."

"Sasuke, if you don't stop, I'm going to start crying again. And then I'll get snot and drool all down your chest, and you'll get grumpy and move away, and then I'll get cold and have curl up against your back, and whenever I do that you complain that she's kicking you, and—"

"Sakura...stop talking."

"I'm just saying."

"And if you weren't so busy in your fantasy world, you'd have noticed she stopped kicking a while ago. Unless you plan on sleepwalking tomorrow, or you want me carrying you again—"

"Oh, gods no, that was just embarrassing."

"—then you should get some sleep."

"Hey, who's the medic here? I know my own limits!"

"Don't they say that healers make the worst patients?"

"I can think of a worse patient than me..."

"Goodnight, Sakura."

"Goodnight, darling."

"..."

"..."

"I would've chosen you anyway."

"Wha...?"

"Even if something different was expected, I would've chosen you."

"..."

"..."

Sniffle.

"Sakura? Are you...are you actually crying?"

"It's your f-fault! I warned you, you b-big jerk!"

終わり

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