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Wonderland is For Nerds

Wonderland is for Nerds

"What are you looking at?" Eri asked Ocotillo.

"Oh nothing," Ocotillo answered.

"Come to think of it why're you fully dragon?" Lina asked.

"Oh that. That's because I was almost kidnapped by a shapeshifting bird-rabbit man that wanted to take me to Wonderland. It also threatened to have the Cheshire cat take me," Ocotillo explained and turned half-human again.

"Wow, I sure hope we don't suddenly hear an ominous rustling noise in the bushes right now. The Cheshire cat could be in them," Eri said.

Oddly enough, they did not suddenly hear an ominous rustling noise in the bushes where the Cheshire cat could be hidden in.

"Wow, I really thought that would make him appear," Eri said.

"Hey guys! I found a suspicious cat-person thing in the bushes!" Kinkajou called out.

"Holy shamoly! It worked! I'm a genius!" Eri exclaimed.

Kinkajou started dragging out a man by his hand out of the bushes. Well it was mostly a man, he had short purple hair, purple cat ears and a tail, and wore a suit.

"I am not going to Wonderland with you!" Ocotillo yelled and backed away.

"I wasn't intending to take you to Wonderland. Whatever Rabbit has told you is an utter lie. I am not his partner in crime. Quite the opposite actually," the Cheshire cat said.

"Then... What are you if you're not his partner in crime? And why are you here?" Ocotillo asked.

He answered,"I'm Cheshire Catte, a police detective in the Wonderland Police Department. The Queen of Hearts has sent me on a never ending mission to keep Rabbit off of any girl he thinks is Alice. I'm supposed to follow him wherever he goes until he stops stalking. Which'll most likely never happen."

"Can you take us to Wonderland? I'd rather not be in a death trap," Qibli said.

"Don't take us! I don't want to meet Rabbit!" Ocotillo said,"Someone here needs to have sense, right?!"

"I wouldn't go," Turtle said.

"So you guys really want us to be at risk of the grievers?" Qibli asked.

"Are you going?!" Ocotillo asked.

"Only if you go, which you should," Qibli answered.

"If you guys want to then I will,"Ocotillo decided.

"Let's a go!" Eri said, imitating a Mario voice.

Ocotillo sighed,"Have you seen the movie? That place is evil, but fine."

Eri spun around to face Ocotillo,"Did you just base things off the MOVIE?! Movies are not always accurate! Right Lina? Remember the Percy Jackson movies?"

"Ugh! I remember having to watch them, they were awful!" Lina groaned.

The two girls then started ranting about their fangirl problems and Ocotillo tuned them out.

"We are so bloody coming,"Newt said.

"Follow the creepy cat!" Gally said.

"Well, I never thought I'd be bringing guests, but okay,"Cheshire said.

"Yep, let's go," Minho said.

"Thanks," Alby said.

"Fine. But let me make this clear, I AM NOT ALICE!" Ocotillo yelled at Cheshire.

"I know you're not Alice. It's that delusional Rabbit who thinks you are. The real Alice is... Never mind. You just don't have to worry about me being creepy to you," He paused,then grinned an inhumanely wide grin, revealing sharp cat teeth then said,"No need to worry at all... Ocotillo."

"How do you know my name?!" Ocotillo asked.

"A delusional rabbit, huh," Winter noted.

"Police research, duh," Cheshire said.

"You didn't have to sound so creepy then," Ocotillo scowled.

Cheshire shrugged and then said,"Alright, we've got a set of stairs. They'll lead us to Wonderland."

A set of stairs leading down appeared in the ground, and Cheshire started to walk down them.

"Ooo! I like you Cheshire. So mysterious and creepy," Lina said and followed him.

"Oh no..." Ocotillo muttered and followed her.

Winter sighed and followed, and everyone else followed behind him.

After a few minutes of walking down, Cheshire said,"Oh and don't get startled when the stairs turn upside down it'll mean we're closer to Wonderland!"

"Wha-aaaah!" Ocotillo screamed as the stairs turned upside down. She clung to the railing as if her life depended on it.

"Cool!" Lina said.

"You have got to be kidding me," Winter muttered. He grabbed his head, the upside down stairs were making him dizzy.

Newt sighed and kept on walking.

"I swear, the maze was better than this," Minho said and started spouting off a slew of curse words.

The stairs did all sorts of things as they walked. Such as, turning sideways, going in a loop, one time they even kept on switching between a slide and stairs. The background, which had started out as pitch black, was getting more colorful and vibrant, Cheshire said it was another indication that they were getting closer to Wonderland.

"It's too bright," Eri said. The background had turned into an extremely bright, white background.

"Just a few more steps," Cheshire had put sunglasses on,"And...... We're in Wonderland!"

The white background faded away to reveal a forested area. Except many of the trees' leaves were purple, pink, blue, and even turquoise. The flowers and weeds seemed to be communicating with each other. In truth, there was currently a flower-weed war between them, but that's not important. Thankfully, the grass was just a regular green color.

Rabbit, who had been waiting for them well more like waiting for Ocotillo, got very close to Ocotillo's face and said,"ALICE! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU!"

Ocotillo jumped back,"Go. Away."

Rabbit dramatically collapsed at her feet and held onto her legs, sobbing,"Oh how cruel! I'm sure you're friends wouldn't mind if we kissed here and now!"

"Ew! No!" Ocotillo wrinkled her noise and took a step back. She desperately looked back at the other and said,"Help me."

"Rabbit, just because she's blonde doesn't mean she's Alice!" Cheshire said.

"Thank you Cheshire!" Ocotillo thanked.

"No! She came when she and I were little! She just can't remember!" Rabbit cried as Cheshire managed to force Rabbit into handcuffs.

"My name is Ocotillo! I am not Alice! This is my first time here and I am a SINGLE PRINGLE OK?!" Ocotillo yelled.

"You just can't remember me! You're in denial!" Rabbit sobbed.

"No, I speak the truth," Ocotillo said.

"Rabbit, you must love straight jackets since you REALLY seem to want me to get it out!" Cheshire said.

Rabbit immediately shut up.

"Yesssssss, thank you Cheshire!" Ocotillo sighed in relief.

"You are a lot better than Rabbit," Lina said.

"There's no denying though. Everyone in Wonderland is pretty crazy," Qibli said.

"You can say that again,"Ocotillo said.

"Crazy? We're not crazy, we prefer the term mad," Cheshire said.

"Fine, you're all mad," Qibli corrected himself,"Like seriously, who keeps a straight-jacket them?"

"People in your worlds don't carry around straight-jackets? Must be a lot less insane there," Cheshire said.

"Nah, it's still crazy in our world," Lina said.

"Can we rest soon? I mean we don't have to..." Ocotillo was a little unsteady, which was understandable since she got stabbed just yesterday.

"If Cheshire hadn't threatened me, I'd ask for you to sleep by my side. But fine, you may rest, away from me!" Rabbit sighed.

"GOOD! AWAY FROM YOU I SHALL SLEEP. Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, VERY FAR AWAY!" Ocotillo said and quickly scooted far away.

"Don't worry Ocotillo, I'll make sure Rabbit doesn't get close," Lina said.

"Me too," Qibli said,"But I seriously can't believe my best friend's got a creep after her."

"I wish it weren't true," Ocotillo said.

"I can't even watch you from afar!" Rabbit said.

Ocotillo shuddered and made a disturbed face,"Never mind people. Keep on moving, no rest for us."

"No resting? If that's the case, then let us meet the Queen of Hearts before we do anything else." Cheshire said.

As exhausted as Ocotillo was, the disturbing Rabbit watching her was worse than being tired. She just really hoped the Queen of Hearts wouldn't mistake her for Alice and behead her.

Author's Note: For anyone who wants to know Rabbit is 28 years old, the real Alice is 22 (so is Cheshire) and Ocotillo is (in human years) 14. I think you can see the problem. But Rabbit doesn't like her because of her age, it's because, like Cheshire said, she's blonde. If you're a blonde girl... Be glad you don't live in this version of Wonderland, hehe....

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