A/N: I'm late once again, LOL. As I'm nearing the end of the book, I'm writing slower. I think it's cuz I'm subconsciously not ready to let this end. There are 3 more chapters and an epilogue. It's strange to say this because I've never imagined ever completing a book of this length. Anyways, hope you enjoy <3 Love y'all, and thanks for the wonderful support and love I've received thus far.

Chapter 62

Song: Fix it to Break it by Clinton Kane/Another Little Lie by Nick Wilson

Simon's POV

"I'm glad you both made it," Sarah greeted before we even made it up the steps to her home. "Xavier's already inside."

"Of course." I stepped up the stairs, Vince's hand left mine as he stood still at the foot of the stairs. I was surprised he had held onto it the whole way here.

"Vince, you're no stranger, come in." Sarah rolled her eyes, before dragging him up the stairs by the wrist. She herded us in before closing the door. "Hope you're hungry, we kind of went overboard."

It was like a Thanksgiving or Christmas feast, the table filled with appetizers, various main dishes as well as desserts. Xavier had already been helping himself to the rolls and dessert. Aspen watched with concern as Xavier seemed to inhale the rolls like a vacuum.

"Oh, this is lovely, Sarah." I patted her shoulder before taking a seat across from Aspen. "Thanks for inviting us."

She smiled widely. "Of course. Eat to your heart's content."

"Oh, I will," Xavier joked. "I'll take some to go too."

We laughed as he took another comically large spoonful of mashed potatoes. "You really should learn to cook on your own Xav," I jabbed. "Can't be smuggling food from people all the time."

He scoffed, before pointing his spoon at me. "I can, and I will. Not everyone is totally skilled in the kitchen."

"You're totally welcome to invite me to help you, and your cookies weren't awful."

He scoffed. "You're just being nice."

Sarah brought up some cooking disasters Xavier had done over the years and we continued to laugh and joke around. It had even gotten Aspen to laugh a couple of times, which was a rarity in itself. I swear those frown lines of his were permanent. For once, it felt like a normal family dinner, gossiping and remembering embarrassing stories about our past. Except, Vince seemed to be lost in his old world, hardly putting a dent in his food as the four of us laughed and chatted.

I hadn't been the only one to notice, in fact, I was aware that they all had noticed his despondent presence, but Sarah reached over mid-conversation to try and pry him out of that shell.

"So, how's everything? What are your plans now?" Sarah offered him some dinner rolls. He blinked before taking one, frowning at the question.

"We're making changes to the Rogue Control program," he replied, glancing down at the roll before looking back up at her. "As well as possible pack treaties."

She set the basket of rolls down before pinning him with her stare. "I meant with you two."

Xavier's fork clinked the side of his plate and he whispered an apology before watching the exchange along with the rest of us. It fell silent at the table as she raised a brow at him. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Vince mouth oh.

"Um." He gulped. "We..."

"We're taking it slow," I finished for him. Or that's what I think is happening, I thought. I wasn't even sure what it was. "We really... haven't talked about it."

Everything alright? I glanced at Aspen, his eyes never leaving mine even as he took a few bites of the food.

It's fine-I'm fine. He looked at me incredulously, but I turned toward Sarah, wanting to change this subject quickly. "What's the occasion? Inviting us to dinner?"

"Well, I figured it was long overdue for a sense of normalcy. We haven't even sat for a proper meal all this time. That, and we have some news that we wanted to share, but with the attack and everything, we waited till after the coronation to tell you." She beamed, gripping Aspen's hand and her stomach with the other hand. "We are expecting."

I blinked, before her words set in. I sucked in a breath before holding my glass to toast hers. "Oh goddess, congrats."

"Thanks, dear." She clanked her glass of water to mine before holding it up to Vince and Xavier. "It's too soon to tell what gender, but we wanted you all to be the first to know. Of course, we told my parents, and we'll let Cedar and the others know later."

"I'm happy for the two of you." Xavier grinned before toasting to the both of them. Vince seemed lost in a daze, staring at his glass, seemingly unaware of Sarah's announcement.

I nudged him with my elbow as Sarah held her glass out expectantly. "Vince."

"Hmm," he mumbled before looking up at her soft smile. He got the memo and tapped her glass. "Oh, congrats. I'm happy for you."

Sarah chuckled, glancing between the two of us before looking at his face. "Thanks, Vince. That means a lot."

He gulped before staring down at his food contemplatively, swirling the same piece of meat around in circles.

"Oh, they'll be so spoiled," Sarah boasted as she squeezed Aspen's hand. "They could learn beta training from Xavier, or whatever they'd like, they don't have to be a beta or anything. And they have not one, but two lunas to help spoil them and teach them everything."

"Oh," I gushed, shaking my head slightly, before glancing at Vince who clenched his jaw, prodding at the food. "I'm not..."

I trailed, not even sure how to bring it up to her, especially when she was this excited. Before I could even try and explain, she continued, "we were even thinking of possibly naming them after one of your siblings, right hun?"

Aspen smiled slightly before pursing his lips. "Babe, I told you..."

"You don't have to, if you don't want to," I responded, noticing the way Vince's jaw tensed, the whites of his knuckles showing as he clutched the fork in his hand. I reached a tentative hand towards his hand but he pulled away. "But thanks for the thought."

"And if you two ever adopt, or if Xavier does, we could have them grow up together," she said with a gleam. "Little playdates and everything. Of course, if you don't, you could still babysit them."

Vince's fork clattered against his plate, effectively cutting Sarah off. He pushed his chair back before standing up, ushering out, "excuse me."

"Where-"

"I'm done eating," he said hastily, removing his still barely eaten plate from the table. "I'll be outside."

Sarah scoffed as we watched him storm over to set his plate on the kitchen counter and stepped out onto the back porch. "Vince."

"Vince," I called out weakly. I bit my lip before pushing my seat out. "I'll go and-"

"I'll go," Xavier insisted, removing himself from the table to go after him. I waited for the door to shut before releasing the nervous breath I was holding. I could feel Aspen's glare as I picked at the food, quickly losing my appetite as well.

Sarah shuffled in her seat as she turned to Aspen. "Did I say something wrong?"

He shifted his gaze towards her, a silent exchange of words between them before she looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry, I just got excited about the thought of-"

"It's alright," I reassured her, giving her a gentle smile. From here, I could see Xavier near the sliding door, talking to Vince sitting on the deck stairs. "He's just...I don't know."

"Being difficult?" Aspen gathered.

"Ya," I breathed. "I guess."

She sighed, before setting her glass down. "I guess that part about him hasn't changed. I'm sorry, hun."

I shook my head, before setting the fork down. "It's not like I expected him to change overnight, but I think I just made it worse."

"Worse?" Aspen narrowed his eyes. What could you have possibly done?

I bit my lip, wondering if it would paint me as awful as I had felt after what happened. "I think I pushed him too much, insisted on something that he didn't want."

They cocked their heads to the side. Sarah cleared her throat. "What did you-"

"Asked him to mark me," I mumbled, staring at the half-eaten plate, hoping that they hadn't heard me at all. "Well, more like...told him to."

"Oh," Sarah breathed, and I could feel my cheeks flushed in embarrassment. Stealing a glance at Aspen, I could see the judgement in his raised brows, the way his eyes narrowed at me.

"I know," I ushered. "It was stupid, and rash, and shouldn't have probably said anything at all, but I just was...I don't know. It felt right at the time. I just thought it would take his mind off things and maybe prove to him that-I don't know."

Sarah reached out a hand, placing it over my shaking hand before smiling softly. "It's okay."

"I shouldn't have even brought it up."

Aspen hummed, clearly holding back, but I honestly wouldn't have minded his scoldings. Instead, he surprised me by asking, "would that make you happy? Him marking you?"

I was certain my jaw had dropped, as I looked at him in disbelief. I waited for the retort, for the laugh, or joke but he was serious.

Letting out a soft breath, I found myself saying, "yes. Yes, it would."

He didn't say anything else, rather took a long swig of his drink, before staring at the glass pensively. He sighed before looking at me. "I never understood it at first. The need to be with your mate, the need to be with them, even if it meant something like this."

He tipped the cup towards me before continuing. "But after finding Sarah, I can start to understand it now. I see and feel what the bond can do."

"Aspen..."

"Don't get me wrong, I still hate him." He smirked, and I couldn't help but let out a laugh. "But...But I get it. Hopefully, he does too."

I could feel my eyes burning, but the force Xavier used to open the sliding door startled us all.

"Ugh," he groaned. "Sorry about that, he's impossible. He wants time alone, whatever that freaking means. I apologize on his behalf. Here, let me help do the dishes. Geez, he's annoying."

He took large strides towards the table, picking up some of the empty plates, before walking to the kitchen.

"I'll join him," Aspen announced, carrying the rest of the dishes with him.

My eyes trailed, watching him walk to the kitchen as I zoned out for a second as my thoughts raced. Had I really made him that uncomfortable? That terrified that he couldn't sit through a meal with me by my side?

"Hey," Sarah tapped my hand. "You alright?"

I nodded, but she frowned. I gave her a weak smile, reassuring her, "I will be. Maybe I'm just too sensitive."

"No babe," she squeezed my hand. "He tends to bottle things up."

I hummed, as she continued. "He likes to overthink things, would rather lie than tell the truth."

"Ya," I agreed. "I just wish he'd talk to me. We hadn't even talked about what happened."

Like the other night I spent here with Sarah, I felt at ease telling her these things, even if in my head it had sounded like pathetic whining.

I watched as Aspen approached the door. There was still a small part of me worried that Aspen would make it worse, say something harsh, but his response earlier seemed to suggest that he wouldn't. Maybe he'd help him out of his head this time. From the kitchen, I could see Aspen talking, the curiosity getting the better of me as I placed mine and Sarah's dish into the sink.

Approaching the ajar sliding door, I leaned against the wall. I could hear Vince mumbling, "I just don't know anymore. I don't know what I should do."

There was a pause, and exchange of words I couldn't hear. Then Aspen's voice rang out clear, "do you want this? The bond?"

There was a pause until I could hear Vince reply softly, "I do."

I sucked in a breath as the silence between them grew, my heart pounding against my chest.

"Can I give you a piece of advice?" I heard Aspen say finally. "Think about his happiness. That above all else. For once, think about what he wants. Not what you think he wants."

---

Dinner with Sarah and Aspen hadn't been the only time Vince had acted weird or found a reason to excuse himself. He had done so after pack meetings, meals even if we had them in our room, and sometimes even just sleeping in the same room. Some nights, he even slept in the council room, other nights he took the couch. I'd try to spark a conversation, but he'd insist that he had business to attend to.

This had gone on for nearly a week, him finding any little excuse to avoid me. It had been annoying, left me on edge, but most of all, I was tired.

I had assumed that Vince would be more inclined to let go, now that Michael wasn't here, and he didn't have to worry about council members antagonizing and criticizing everything he did. Even if it had just been a simple hug, a simple act of affection, then maybe I would've thought he was getting there.

So why did I feel like he was slipping further away from me?

As he stood to get ready for bed, I hovered behind him, before wrapping my arms around his torso, interlocking my hands against his lower stomach. Leaning into him, I let his scent wash over me, even if his body language didn't soothe me, at least his scent did.

"What are you-"

"Shh," I said against his back, as he tensed. "Can we stay like this? Please?"

He didn't reply, instead tentatively placing his hand on top of mine.

"Is it because I brought up the mark?" I muttered before leaning my head on his back. "Being distant, ignoring me."

His hand fell from mine, and I missed the gentle warmth it had provided, even if it had been for just a moment.

"It's not that," he replied.

"Then what?"

He sighed. "More like...what it would mean."

"What would it mean?"

"You don't deserve to be stuck with someone like me, to feel trapped here." He murmured, as I buried my head further into his side, wishing this warmth would never die, that he'd turn me around and forget about these stupid thoughts of his. That this was a silly joke he had and that he'd kiss me like back then. "Like...Sarah."

"I'm not like her. I'm your mate, Vince." He tensed at that. "We're mates. We have a bond for a reason."

"And that's why I can't," he sputtered. "You deserve better. Everything I do reminds you of them, and all the shit I've done. It isn't fair. You shouldn't feel obligated to be with someone if that's not what you want."

"This is what I want," I told him indignantly.

"Maybe it is," he stated before pulling my hands away from his stomach. I turned to look at him as he looked at me sternly. "But it's not what you need."

Was he trying to do this on purpose? To upset me?

I could feel the frustrations building in my chest, festering until I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't like this feeling, didn't like where this was going. "Was it a lie then? When you told Aspen you wanted this? What exactly is it that you want?"

His eyes narrowed in confusion before he looked away. "I-I already got what I wanted."

I chuffed, staring defiantly at his eyes, even if they threatened to water. "Really?"

"Yes," he breathed, before shutting his eyes. When he looked back at me, his eyes fluttered, and he bit the corner of his lip. He was lying, just as he had done before time and time again. There was a lump in my throat as he mumbled, "the role, like Michael said."

"Lies." I frowned. "Just stop lying, Vince."