A/N: Part II, let's go. If you thought Part I was intense, you aren't even going to be prepared for what's to come, LOL. But in all seriousness, this chapter was a struggle, I wasn't too proud of this one. For once, I was more excited about the next chapter in Vince's pov more than this one. I know you probably won't agree with Simon's decisions, but I just want to say that he too has his own flaws, just as much as Vince has his. Don't forget to follow, vote, comment, I appreciate all the questions, concerns, theories, etc. 

Chapter 26

Simon's POV

I didn't want to leave Sam. It was a truth I learned while watching him work. The way he carried himself, doted on others, it was all like tiny anchors embedded itself in me, preventing me from thinking about leaving. It was so enticing, intoxicating, the amount of comfort I felt here. But I knew deep down, I couldn't stay here.

Although humble enough to deny it himself, Sam was too perfect. The sheer amount of selflessness and compassion was enough to drown me, and I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle it if I stayed any longer. I wasn't sure this profusion of positivity he exuded would be enough to save me from my burdens.

I'd only be a burden to him being here. He had said it himself. This was just temporary, this wasn't an home. He had other patients to worry about. I couldn't take up space here when there were so many more in need.

Sam had been cleaning up one of the rooms after the last patient left when I decided to tell him I was going to leave. My heart felt heavy, as if I was dragging it with a leash behind me, but I knew as much as it would hurt, I had to tell him the truth. I wasn't going to continue to believe this was going to turn into something impossible.

But before I could even turn to him, a sudden wave of pain hit me, my legs buckling beneath me as I grasped onto his forearm desperately trying to stay upright. My entire left side felt like it had erupted into flames, the pain shooting up my spine and shoulder as Sam's words of concern seemed to fade into the distance despite being right by my side. I blinked past the tears, only to be transported to the middle of the forest, seeing what Vince was going through earlier. Michael with those piercing gold eyes staring down at Vince. He was losing, just as Xavier had said.

There were three deep lacerations ran down his side, the blood running through his black fur, smaller scratches marred his face. Puncture wounds littered his neck, and yet, Michael seemed perfectly fine. Despite Vince being roughly the same height and stature as his brother, Michael stood taller, far superior, and all the more confident. But so was Vince, or maybe he was just brash, naively determined to fight back.

I watched as he fought back in vain, as I desperately wanted to yell at him to stop. It wasn't worth it. He was going to get himself killed, and all for what? His alpha role?

But there was something different about Vince. It was something I had only felt once before. His wolf, fighting for control. All these years he hadn't appeared, was always suppressed, so much so, that I had almost thought he was dead. He was pawing at the surface, fighting to completely take over and fight Michael, even if he was weak. But there was something more. His wolf was looking for something, and that made my wolf restless.

And then I watched helplessly as Vince charged forward, only for Michael to pin him to the ground, successfully winning the fight.

And despite what I told Xavier, that I'd be alright if they had to fight, it wasn't. It hurt a lot, so much that I think I blacked out.

All I remember was coming to in the clinic room I had found Sam in earlier. I had curled up in a ball on the floor, my head rested on Sam's thigh. He was brushing the hair behind my ear, adjusting the blanket wrapped around me.

And that's when it hit me. I really shouldn't be here. What was I even doing here?

His hand froze before asking, "you alright?"

"No," I replied, but it came out like a pathetic whimper.

He brushed his hand through my hair again before saying softly, "I'm assuming that was the bond."

I hummed. We sat in silence, basking in the setting sun's rays that peeked through the window.

"Sorry," I mumbled, pushing myself into a sitting position, leaning against the empty cages behind us.

"No, it's alright. I thought it was your hip at first, but you were clutching your head and side." He let out a half-hearted smile, before continuing, "You hungry? Clara bought Chinese food."

"I really shouldn't," I said, before frowning. "I shouldn't even be here."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just," I faltered. "I've been thinking about what you said."

His face dropped, and I almost wanted to backtrack, go back to the soothing silence.

"Oh," he turned away from me, looking out towards the window. "Is this about what we said in the car this morning?"

There was a hint of sadness laced in his tone, and I wasn't sure what to feel at this point. I didn't want him to feel sad at all, didn't want him to feel hurt. But I couldn't let this continue, especially knowing what was happening with the pack, with Cedar on the loose, or with whatever wild emotions I was going through.

"You were right," I told him. "About what you said the other night."

He glanced at me with the corner of his eye. His usual smile nowhere to be found. I wanted so desperately to put it back. To see the joyful glint in his eye he had at the diner as he inhaled the mountain of whip cream and strawberries.

I took a big breath in, before turning my whole body towards him, and telling him with as much conviction I could muster, "you can't give me what I want. What I need."

"Simon."

"I can't stay here, Sam."

He let out a breathy sigh before grasping my hands in his. "Look if this is about what I said, it's alright Simon."

"No," I replied. "You were right. I'm... just a patient."

He squeezed my hands tighter. "No, you're not just a patient."

"No, whatever this is," I gestured to our hands, trying to pry it off. "It can't happen."

"Simon."

"You said it yourself, this is temporary," I nearly shouted. "I-I can't be here."

"It doesn't have to be temporary," he argued back. "You don't have to leave if you don't want to, or go back if you don't want to."

"No," I raised my voice. "I can't stay here. There are others that need you here, not me. They deserve to be here, not me. I need to leave."

I made a move to stand up, but he grasped my forearm. "Don't do this. Don't beat yourself up over something like this, Simon. Forget about what I said that day, alright?"

"I can't."

I could tell he was getting more and more upset, hurt by my words. Good, I didn't want him to feel sad about me leaving. It was better to put this to an end before I started believing this could be something more. I stepped away, but he grabbed my shoulders, looking me in the eyes. His kind hazel eyes glossing over.

"Simon," he said gently. "Stop it. Stop pushing people that care about you away."

What he said struck a chord in me. Before I could stop myself I pushed at his chest, and shouted, "no, you can't. You don't care about me!"

He had visibly flinched, his hazel eyes blinked, his mouth dropped a bit. If I hadn't been so worked up I might've just hugged him and told him I was lying. That I didn't want to leave, didn't want to push him away, or even argue with him about anything.

Before I could even think about going back on my words, I quickly mouthed sorry before turning on my heels, running out of that clinic.

And I kept running, running until I ended up back at the motel, didn't even realize I could hardly see through the tears. My chest hurt, and it felt like I couldn't even breath. Why did it hurt so much?

Before I could even knock on the door, Aspen had opened it, enveloping me in a hug.

I've got you, he whispered over and over, until finally, the tears stopped.

---

There was something strange about going back home. Firstly, it was something I never thought would have happened. And secondly, I had a strange mix of emotions as we waited for Xavier and Sarah to arrive. The nervousness was so overwhelming, but there was a very minuscule sense of suspense that came with it.

To say I was terrified, was an understatement. But I knew that going back would be better for us. Or at the very least, it would be for Aspen and Cedar. Aspen had been fretting about it the whole night, but I think he realized that living in a motel and having Sarah live like us had made him rethink it.

Sarah arrived first with her car, followed shortly by Xavier who pulled up with his truck. He smiled at us from his car before stepping out, reaching out a hand to Aspen.

"I'm Xavier, we've met in our wolf forms," he introduced. "It's nice to meet you again."

"Likewise," Aspen replied, with hardly any hesitation, which was a surprise.

Sarah hugged Aspen, kissing him passionately on the lips before pulling away, still wrapped up in their arms.

"We figured we'd take two cars for your stuff. Didn't want it to be too crowded," Xavier gestured to the cars, before turning to me. "It's good to see you, Simon."

I smiled half-heartedly. "It's been a while."

He patted my shoulder before we headed into the motel room. Aspen had already packed most of our clothes, the kitchen utensils, the bags laying on the beds. As we loaded up the cars, I couldn't help but wonder about the vision I had back at the clinic earlier.

Pulling Xavier to the side, I asked, "hey, how's um..."

"He's alright, Simon. He was injured, but he's recovering," he said gently. "How are you?"

"It hurt," I admitted. "But I'll be alright."

He frowned slightly, setting one of the bags into his truck, before looking at me earnestly. "I hope that one day soon, it won't hurt for you."

"I hope so too," I whispered.

After Aspen frantically triple checked to make sure we packed everything into the cars, Sarah headed to the pack first, while Xavier hesitantly waited in the motel parking lot.

"Simon?" He asked, turning to look at me properly. My hands were holding desperately to the seatbelt, hoping to quench the nervousness running through me. "Are you sure you're alright? About going back?"

"Do I have a choice?" I frowned.

"Of course you do," he replied. "If you don't want to, we can call it off."

I gulped. "But Aspen wouldn't be able to stay there, would he?"

"Of course he can stay, same with Cedar."

I gulped, staring out the window at the motel room door we had called home for so long. Was it truly okay to leave it behind, go back to a place that had been my home for sixteen years, only for it to end horribly?

Do what you truly want to do, Sam had told me. Was this really what I wanted?

Closure, I reminded myself. I deserved closure.

"I," I looked at Xavier. "I'm alright. I will be. I'm ready."

He gave me a gentle smile before pulling out of the parking lot, heading down the highway. I watched as the trees passed by, the mountain in the distance getting closer and closer. We drove with the radio on low, Xavier letting me take in the nostalgia of heading down the dirt road that led to the pack. Before I knew it, Xavier was slowing down, approaching the pack gate, a few of the buildings could be seen past the tree canopies. At the gate, I saw the notorious packhouse, standing in all its glory right in front of us. Vince's home. My heart was racing, and I hadn't even made it past the gates, how silly of me. As we approached the beta guards, I felt incredibly small, their probing eyes as they watched Xavier pull up. He seemed to notice my discomfort and placed a hand on my forearm.

"I've got you," he said, as the guard signaled him in, the gate opening in front of us.

It was a surreal experience, going through the gates, something that I never dreamed of to happen again. How many times I felt I'd be murdered for even approaching the gates, the betas glaring at me cautiously if I even stepped within their viewpoint. A part of still felt like I'd make it halfway through, just for the guards to recognize me and murder me.

But, glancing at them, I didn't recognize them. And as Xavier pulled into a parking spot, a few wolves passed us by, none of which I recognized. Every single time one person approached his car, I felt the urge to sink into my seat, but Xavier would squeeze my arm every time. "We can wait if you're not comfortable."

The truck was still running as he glanced at me. "No," I responded. "I'll be alright."

He turned off the truck but didn't make any move to get out. Slowly, I built up the courage to look around, noticing that there were far more houses and buildings than the last time I had been here. Even the packhouse seemed to have gotten an upgrade.

He let me take it all in, checking his phone, or waving at the passing people he knew.

"Does the pack," I said out loud. "Do they... Do they know? About me?"

He bit his lip before responding. "Most know that you're returning."

"I mean about back then."

He paused. "Michael told the pack that Vince had lied about the treason. Only a handful of people know the truth. Some have their suspicions, while some didn't want to believe that Vince lied."

"Don't get me wrong," he continued. "Many adore you, Simon. You may not believe it, but Vince got a lot of hate for it in the past, even more now that Michael has said something."

"Adore me?"

He let out a short chuff. "It's a long story, but yes, Simon. It's probably easier to show you, but I don't think now is the time for that. Besides, we should probably get you and Aspen settled."

Xavier held some of the bags, as we walked towards a fairly large home. It was smaller than my family's home, but it was probably three times the size of the motel room.

"This is my place," he gestured. "I'm letting you use it, since I'm hardly home, anyways. Aspen can stay at Sarah's place, but you're welcome to stay with them. When we find Cedar, he can stay with them, until we set up a place for him if he'd like. Oh, and don't be alarmed if Dwaine shows up randomly, he'll sometimes crash at my place too. He's harmless, and usually takes the couch, so no worries. Oh, unless Grant spends the night with him here, but there are two bedrooms, so you don't have to worry."

I couldn't help but watch as Xavier ranted, just like he used to when he was younger. The name Grant had struck a chord in me. He was young when I had left, maybe only twelve. He was really close with my younger brothers, even asked me to play with them when I had free time. I wasn't sure what to think if I had to see him face to face now. Or any of the members I had known when I was here. Did they adore me as Xavier mentioned, or were they one of the ones to still hate me?

It didn't take long for me to put my bags down. I mean I only had about two bags worth of clothes, another bag for toiletries and other belongings. Aspen and I had learned to travel light, especially when finding a place to stay was hard to come by.

"Sarah's place is just across the street," Xavier pointed outside the window. "If I'm not around, feel free to ask her for anything. Michael has been wanting me to do a bunch of things since he took over, so I won't be able to be here as much, but it should be fine."

Xavier continued to go on, talking about his neighbors, talking about some of the changes Michael made, but I was too busy thinking about the last time I was here.

"Xavier," I interrupted, the curiosity growing within me. "Is my home... is it still there?"

He looked at me for a while before looking down, his expression suddenly sullen. "It hasn't changed. Despite how many homes were constructed, rebuilt, or demolished, yours never changed. Nobody dared to."

"Nobody dared to even go inside," he continued. "I haven't even gone inside."

"My family," I muttered. "Did they..."

The tears were starting to form, and I wasn't sure if I could finish my question.

Xavier blinked, before catching on. "They were given a proper burial, Simon."

I shut my eyes, the feeling of relief washed over me. At least they weren't disgraced in that regard.

"Thank you," I said to no one in particular. Knowing they had been laid to rest with respect was consolation in itself.

Xavier had ranted more about some of the millions of things that have changed since I left when his phone chirped. Although I had appreciated Xavier trying to keep me up to date with the years I've missed, I was grateful for the break.

"Um, Simon?" He asked. I looked up at him expectantly. "Did you want the good news, the bad news, or the extra bad news?"

"Good news," he continued. "They've found Cedar. Bad news, Michael is ready to meet with you and the council. The extra bad news, Vince is going to be there."

I blinked, my heart sinking into my stomach. This whole time I was hoping to avoid Vince, only for it to be short-lived. I figured I'd run into him eventually, but not this soon. My whole body was shaking, my heart pounding against my chest. I wasn't sure I could handle being in the same room as him.

Xavier stepped forward, touching my shoulder tenderly. "I'll be there, so will Sarah. and Aspen. He can't do anything to you, and besides, we'll be right there with you. You don't even have to look at him."

I said nothing, knowing that I wasn't scared of what he might do to me. I was scared of what the bond would do to me, what my mind would do being that close in proximity to him. Just thinking about it felt like the beginning of a panic attack, that I feared what would happen in the council room.