Chapter 25

Simon's POV

Despite being shorter, Aspen brought my head into his chest, his hands gently placed on my back as he hugged me with no intention of letting go soon. His heart was racing, and I could practically feel the weight in his shoulders being lifted. The worry he had must've caused him a lot of stress, and I could see how relieved he was when he saw me. Tears were starting to form as I could tell he was trying hard not to cry either.

He sniffled, before pulling away, then squeezed my hands in his.

"Where were you?" He whispered. "I looked everywhere."

"I'm sorry," I said shakily. He squeezed my hand again before looking at Sarah, then glanced at Sam with a pointed look. Sam reached out his hand to Aspen.

Aspen shook his hand cautiously before giving him a once over then mind linking me. Is he... a client?

No, I nearly shouted back, almost saying it out loud. Sam smiled. "I'm Sam. He's been with me. I'm sorry we didn't contact you sooner, you must've been so worried about him."

Sarah cleared her throat before holding onto Aspen's shoulder. "I'm Sarah, and this here is Aspen. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Sarah offered us to sit down with them, so we did, they were already finished with their food, but they ordered a side dish as we waited for Cindy to bring us our waffles.

Sarah swallowed a portion of the corn beef hash before asking, "So how did you two end up meeting?"

I told them the gist of how I met him, leaving out that it was Sam's car that I got hit by and what had happened at the bar, Sam filled in the gaps for when I had been unconscious. Aspen didn't seem convinced, but he kept quiet as Sarah asked more questions. He would pick on the food, then glare at Sam, before repeating the process. Something was bothering him, but I wasn't sure what.

"It must be difficult to run on donations though," she commented, as Cindy brought a heaping plate of waffles, a mountain of whip cream and probably a pound of strawberries on top. I don't think this was the normal amount of toppings patrons were supposed to get, but I had a strong inkling that it was because of Sam.

"It can be, but we have a few loyal customers who are willing to pitch in a little extra," he said in between bites of strawberries. "It's not about the money for me, though. So long as I can do everything to help those in need, that's enough."

Sarah pouted, putting her hand over her heart. "That's sweet of you. Isn't it hun?"

"Ya, sweet," Aspen grit out, giving Sam a cold look.

She glared at Aspen, the two seemed to argue with each other through the mind link. Sam glanced at me, almost questioning me if I knew what was going on, but I wanted to figure that out as well. Pulling out my phone, I typed in my notes, idk what's going on, then showed it to him.

Sam pulled out his phone to do the same. Was it something I said? I shrugged. Something was bothering Aspen, but I couldn't figure it out. Maybe it was because I didn't contact him, except for last night? Whatever the reason, I was getting afraid of what Aspen was thinking.

Sarah had whispered just audibly, "You should be happy he's here, not with an asshole like Vince."

I tensed at his name. Why was she bringing him up? Aspen lips rose like he wanted to snarl, but pursed his lips instead. Sam turned to me again, showing me his phone. Vince? He must've heard Sarah, which I was hoping he wouldn't. Biting my bottom lip, I wondered what to say. I was still trying to figure out why Aspen was acting like this, and why Sarah was getting so riled up.

I was about to type a response, when Aspen stood up abruptly, the diner chair screeching against the tiles. He moved around the table, grabbing my upper arm, yanking me out of the chair. He looked down at Sam to say, "sorry, I need to borrow Simon for a sec."

"Aspen," I tried fighting off his grip, but he held it so firmly. I turned to give Sam and Sarah an apologetic look as he dragged me away from the table and headed outside the diner. "What's gotten into you?"

His grip tightened as he whirled me around to look at me. He didn't say anything, his jaw clenched as he stared at me. I looked at him confused as I demanded, "What the fuck, Aspen? What was that about?"

"Who is he?" He growled.

I blinked. "I told you, he's a vet, I was recovering at his clinic."

"Bull," he spat out.

I frowned. "I'm telling you the truth. I was hit by a car, my hip was crushed, so I had surgery and was recovering in my wolf form. He runs the clinic."

I rarely saw Aspen get this angry, and it was starting to scare me. I wasn't sure why he didn't like Sam, or why he was frustrated at me, but I could feel my heart rate rising.

"Look, I'm sorry I couldn't contact you, I was in my wolf form, Aspen. I couldn't shift until my wound healed, alright?" My voice faltered, as he continued to fume silently. He was starting to really scare me, my anxiety rising, as his chest huffed in and out. He never got this mad, no matter how many times I ran away on my own. Maybe some ranting, or scolding, but he seemed hellbent on being angry. Even when Cedar would get in trouble, which was often, Aspen was never this mad.

Cedar.

Oh, I thought. Realization dawned on me. He wasn't here with Aspen. There was no way in hell Aspen would've left him at the motel. Was that why he was mad?

"Aspen," I gulped. "Where's Cedar?"

He breathed out shakily, his fists clenched tight, not meeting my gaze.

I asked again, "Where is he, Aspen?"

He said lowly, "this is why I didn't want to lie to him."

"What are you talking about?"

"He's gone!" He shouted, his body shaking as he bared his teeth. "All because of your stupid lies!"

"Huh?"

"You go on and on about love and mates, and how amazing it is," he went on. "When I told you he needed to know the truth. He's going to get hurt, Simon! He's sixteen! I tried warning him, but he's so fucking hellbent on finding his damn mate."

"It could be different," I said quietly. "You know that."

He shook his head, "no. He needed to know the risks. He's still a kid, Simon. I don't want him to get hurt like you did. What if he gets killed?"

His voice broke in the end, the tears welling in his eyes. I hugged him this time. No wonder he was getting all antsy. Cedar was his brother, of course he'd be terrified. And the fact that I had practically fallen off the face of the earth for a month on top of it was probably stressing him out more than anything.

"We'll find him, Aspen. He'll be alright," I told him, hoping it'd be true. "Besides, you have Sarah. It's proof that mates can be amazing, right?"

He scoffed, wiping the remaining tears away before looking at me. "I'm sorry I was an ass in there."

"You were," I joked. "My waffles are probably cold."

He laughed, probably the first time he has since Cedar and I disappeared. "I owe you, then."

"They're probably worried about us." He nodded, before we walked back to our table, awkwardly sitting in silence as they both glanced at us.

Aspen looked at Sam first. "I apologize, I've been stressed out, and took it out on you."

Sarah rolled her eyes, lightly punching his arm. "You were a jerk, hun."

Sam took it in, before letting out a curt laugh, surprising us all. "Oh, no worries. I totally get it. Working long hours sometimes gets to me too, especially if I can't save one of my patients. My coworkers sometimes face the brunt of my frustrations too."

Aspen seemed shocked at Sam's forgiveness. "Still, it's no excuse."

Sam smiled, before looking at me, motioning towards the waffles I had barely touched. I started to eat, finding it still warm, the whipped cream the only thing that melted. The strawberry shake was divine, even if it had melted a bit.

Two pack members were looking for you at the motel, Aspen told me. Sarah said they were betas.

Xavier and Lucas probably. I don't like that they know where we live, he continued. I don't know why, and what they want, but I don't like it.

I know, I replied.

As much as I want you to come home, where I know you're safe with me, maybe it's best you stay with Sam. His clinic is well hidden from the pack. And if Michael is still a threat, there's a chance he won't suspect you're at a clinic either.

I gulped down some more of the shake before replying. But we need to find Cedar.

We will, but I can't lose you too. Not again. Sarah and I can search for him.

Are you sure?

Aspen smiled at me, glancing over at Sam who was struggling to finish the last bit of his waffles. I'm sorry I misjudged him, Aspen mind linked me. He's good for you.

I nearly dropped my fork. It's not like that, I mind linked back, frowning at him. He smirked before picking up some of the strawberries from my plate.

---

On our ride back to the clinic, I told Sam about Aspen, and how we had initially met.

"I'm sorry he's a bit overbearing," I told him.

He smiled, "It's a good thing, trust me. He's just looking out for you."

"He's a bit extreme."

"Maybe a tad."

We pulled out onto the main road, the rows of trees on the right side were soothing to look at. I was zoning out when Sam spoke again. "May I ask a question?"

"Of course."

"Sarah, she's his mate?" I told him yes, as he hummed.

He seemed to contemplate asking something, opening and closing his mouth before saying, "And this Vince guy? Why doesn't Aspen like him?"

I looked towards the trees again, not sure if I should tell him. I took a few breaths before replying, "Sarah was with Vince."

It was a cop-out answer, but it was true.

He hummed some more before saying, "I talked to her when you two went outside."

"Oh."

"She was the luna of your old pack," he stated. "Which makes Vince the alpha."

I chewed at my lip, not wanting to voice or confirm the deduction. A part of me wished he didn't have to know.

"She," he continued. "She feels guilty about it."

"What?"

"She told me the gist of what happened to you. She didn't know about any of it. He had kept it from her, practically forcing her into the role. She feels guilty that she couldn't do anything, that she didn't know anything for so long," he replied. I couldn't meet his eyes, fearing what he would think now that he knew about it. I didn't want to see his probing eyes, the questions he had running through his head.

I sighed. "She shouldn't feel bad. How could she have known?"

"Regardless, she wanted you to know she's sorry. And I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Aside from the sound of cars zooming past us, we remained silent. I wasn't sure what to feel. Sarah didn't need to apologize, none of it had been her fault after all. But yet she had felt guilty, and in a way, I felt guilty that she felt guilty. It was a stupid feeling, but I didn't want her to feel bad. I should be the one apologizing to her, after all, because of the whole situation, she didn't get to feel the bond with Aspen. She fell in love with someone who she thought was her mate.

But it was a relief to see her at the diner. A part of me feared that she would hate me, loathe me for ruining everything for her. But to see her there, almost happy to see me was pleasantly unexpected. For years I thought she'd hate me, loathe me the same way Vince does. Loathe me as soon as she found out about her true mate.

But knowing she cared made me wonder. Maybe the rest of the pack didn't care too much either about what had happened. Maybe the friends I had back then still cared for me, or at least didn't loathe me for what Vince accused my family of. Xavier did mention that not everyone believed my family committed treason, some had even found out the truth. Maybe the rumors the rogue spread were just that, rumors. Maybe the pack hadn't turned out as bad as they made it seem.

It made me wonder about what Michael had offered the first time we met. Going back home. Was it really as implausible as I first thought?

"Is it weird?" I asked softly. "To want to go back? Despite it all."

I glanced at his hands on the steering wheel, his arms, anywhere but his face. He didn't say anything at first.

"It's stupid, sorry," I muttered, but he reached his hand over, brushing over my own.

"It's not," he said. "That was your home."

"But after everything?"

He glanced at me, and I daringly looked up at his face for the first time since being in the car. There was a softness to his eyes, with just a glint of sadness, and then it was gone. He smiled slightly, before looking at the road again. He spoke softly, "I think it's very brave of you, commendable. To go through that and still long for a place that hurt you."

"I think," he continued. "A lot of times, people get homesick, even if it was a painful past. The feeling of familiarity, even if the people there aren't the same, the environment itself can be soothing. It can bring closure."

Closure. It was something I never got. Something I thought was impossible to get. But if I did go back, there was a chance I could get it. Nothing could change the fact that my family was gone, but Sam was right. Maybe going back would help me to move on. Help me to understand why it had happened, why Vince had done it.

"But," he drawled out. "It takes a lot of courage to go back. I haven't gone back home in years, despite wanting to. My sister and I got into a huge fight and I hadn't worked up the guts to go back. I've been too scared to go back. But the idea of going back, apologizing, forgiving, eventually I want that."

His grip on the steering wheel was taut, the knuckles turning white. His other hand, still next to mine, was unclenched, gentle. I took it in my hand, giving him a slight squeeze before staring out at the line of trees. "I'm sure you will get that opportunity," I said to him.

"I've tried before, I even drove to her house last Christmas, but chickened out in the driveway. But I do want to try again."

"When the timing is right?"

"When the timing is right," he agreed.

I glanced down at our intertwined hands resting on the console between us. A long time ago, I imagined Vince and I like this, holding hands, being mates. It was a naive, imperfect dream that I had when I first discovered we were mates. Looking back on it, it had been so stupid, to think things would turn out alright. But even now, I longed for it. Wanted it, still do. That warm feeling I had felt when I first had noticed he was my mate. Albeit incredibly brief, that small window of warmth and liberating feeling from all the anxiety and nerves was enough to crave it for years.

"Is it strange that I want to try too? With the bond." My breath hitched, not realizing I had spoken it out loud. I prayed he hadn't heard, that I said it soft enough to evade his hearing.

He squeezed my hand back. "It's not strange at all. I've seen first hand how strong the bonds can be."

"Even though he hurt me," my voice wavered. I could see Sam's jaw tick, the first sign of a negative reaction from him. I thought for sure he would get mad, tell me it was stupid. Reiterate every bad thing Aspen had said about him.

Only to my surprise did he respond, "I'm not in a position to tell you what to do, or what's right. But I know you deserve closure, Simon. Whatever form that takes, I'm here to support you. Whatever you decide, I'll be here for you no matter what happens. I mean it."

"But it's a bad idea to go back, isn't it? To try?" I urged. "That I should just forget about the pack, forget about Vince?"

For some reason I wanted a reaction out of him, I didn't want his passive answers, I wanted him to tell me what to do. To guide me. I couldn't make this decision on my own, I craved for someone to just tell me what to do.

"That's something for you to decide, Simon," he said firmly. "Do what your heart says. What you truly want to do."

I let Sam's words wash over me the rest of the drive. What was it that I really wanted? To go back? To stay here?

Did I really want to go back though? Leave the comfort of Sam's clinic, where I felt at ease. Leave it all behind, just for the chance, the hope that the pack hadn't changed. The opportunity to not be such a burden on Aspen, Cedar, or even Sam. The opportunity to give Aspen and Cedar a home, a place that offered the things we had been deprived of. The chance for Aspen to be with Sarah at the pack, and when Cedar found his mate, the same?

But risk seeing Vince? Running into him to see the rejection on his face again? Even if Michael was alpha, Vince could murder me, Aspen, even Cedar. How could I risk their lives?

But in lieu of it all, if I could go back, avoid Vince, guarantee their safety, would I go back? I think I knew from the moment Michael mentioned it. I would in a heartbeat. But for now, it was only what-ifs, maybes, all based on a plethora of contingents.

I turned to look at Sam who had parked the car, quickly rushing out to open the car door for me, making sure my hip wasn't in pain as I stepped out of his truck. A simple, yet endearing gesture.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. Sam had opened the door to the clinic, a few clients greeting him from inside. Clara fussing over how late we were. It was all so pleasantly mundane.

I pulled out my phone, hundreds of notifications from my time here that I hadn't read yet. The newest one was from Xavier. My heart nearly stopped from seeing the words.

Vince lost. Michael is the alpha now.

Michael had done it. He had attacked the pack, attacked Vince. What was this going to entail? Michael as the alpha? Where did that leave Vince?

Another message from him popped up, and I suddenly felt faint from his next words.

He wants you to come home.

A/N: Surprise, sorry not sorry, LOL. I figured it'd be best to put my note down here, given there was a lot to unpack this chapter. This officially concludes part one of this book! I'm honestly shook I've made it this far, and I want to thank everyone for their support. I'm sure a lot of you will be shocked by this chapter, so let me know what you think! Was it what you expected? Do you agree with Simon? Sam? Don't forget to vote, comment, follow, etc.