Author: AmbitiousGirlWriter
  Critic: rainbowbleed

Disclaimer: Ang critique na ito ay pinagbasehan lamang po sa limang kabanata na binasa ng kritiko.

BOOK COVER

It is good and somehow connected. Para bang isang malawak na karagatan ang susuungin ni Sofie sa maaring idulot ng pagbabalik ni Isahn sa buhay niya. Color and aura is simple and just average. No problemo.

TITLE

Madaling makuha ang gustong iparating tulad ng blurb at ng mga susunod na pahina. All about risking again or gamble onto something unsure of as of the moment. Medyo gasgas na ang title na ito kung ikukumpara sa ibang titulo ng kwento pero nasayo ang powers to make a different choice to a different path.

BLURB

That way it is. I'm looking for what Sofie felt then and now. Her stand. The most intruiging question and statement. Pwede ba iyon on one paragraph. To hook up a reader is here to dig in. Believe that words are powerful so you must feel it and own it then show not tell. Be your character. Be Sofia on one paragraph. Magagawa mo yan kase kaya mo yan.

PROLOGUE

There is no Prologue. Maybe just maybe. Pwede mong gawin na prologue yung past ni Sofia at Isahn not long just an important scene from that past that sums up the present things for Sofia. Yung scene na malakas ang impact sayo bilang isang reader. Ganda non.

PLOT

Almost the same plot with other stories pero maiiba sa takbo ag imahinasyon mo bilang manunulat. Ikaw ang diyos ng iyong kwento kaya mas alam mo ang kaibihan ng sayo sakanila. Gets mo yung thought?

Plot scenes pantay. Avoid it. Dapat every chapter tumataas ang momentum hanggang climax. Lame ang takbo kasi ang baba ng energy ng bawat character. Feel the  character. Ikaw ang mas nakakakilala sakanila.

Damhin mo yung saya nung party tapos yung gulatan kung saan muling nagkita si Isahn at Sofia. Feel the longing, unexpected meeting. So on the chapters.

NARRATION

Good. May kulang pa pero pwedeng ayusin at i-adjust.

Sa paguusap sa telepono lagyan mo ng bracket or italic. Sa conversation make it bold to stand up dahil pansin ko mahabang paragraph. Labas mo yung emosyon sa moment na iyon.

Third person pala ang narrator. Nahihirapan ako i-express ang isang character pag ganito pero may mga manunulat akong bihasa dito. Practice pa.

FLOW

As far as five chapters, doing great. Katulad ng sinabi ko sa plot scenes. High up. Bigyan mo pa ng buhay para mas dama ng mambabasa.

You try to tell a past scene without typing Flashback is good. Your way of narration must support it and be careful. Practice pa.

TECHNICALITIES

Iilan pa lang naman. Grammar none. Punctuation – yung exclamation point sa YEHEY!!!! too much but two is good. Bawain mo sa pagkwento ng emosyon.

OVERALL

Developing and sana matuloy pa. Promising story. Weave the scenes carefully with cliffhangers at least. Vibe of the story dont forget because readers will not take a break. Keep writing. Salamat at padayon, manunulat.