Queen Raeanne

Michael and I stand side by side when speaking to a French dignitary. He comes to tell us news of their bloody war with Spain. They seek aid from us in the form of money and troops despite the status of our confusing alliance with Spain.

Inserting Estonia into the middle of a war with France and Spain could be very damaging. Not as much to the country as it would be to my family. I only just managed to get Spain to drop its efforts to steal my son to be their reigning monarch.

It becomes increasingly hard to focus on his desperate words as my daughter Charlotte begins crying out for me.

I glance at Michael, wondering if I should abandon my royal duties to tend to our daughter. He doesn't know either. I can tell by his face. He is still new to his duties.

My sister-in-law enters the room quietly and tents to the crying princess. I am thankful that she was able to spend her morning assisting me throughout my important meetings. She tries to hush the baby but her heroic efforts continue to fail.

With Charlottes continuous cries, I find it nearly impossible to hold my focus on this conversation. Though this man's words are extremely important, all I can think about is my child. She needs her mother.

"Excuse me." I leave the conversation abruptly, rushing to my child. I take her from Lorena's arms.

"I'm sorry, Raeanne." She whispers.

"Don't fret." I smile, hushing my child.

"I'm terribly sorry sir. Can we take a break?" Michael looks for a way out of the conversation as well. "Our brains are elsewhere. Do you have kids?"

"Yes your majesty. Two boys." He nods.

"Then you fully understand sleepless nights and bending over backwards for your children." Michael laughs.

"Of course. I will retire to my chambers here at your beautiful court. Will you send for me or should I come back at a certain time?" The French man asks.

"Perhaps I will have someone sent to retrieve you." Michael pats his arm. "Thank you for understanding."

The man nods and leaves just as he said he would. Michael makes his way over to me swiftly. "I understand your reasons but you really can not leave me alone to discuss important things like that. I am still learning."

I nod, finally getting Charlotte back to sleep. I hold her in my arms, fearing that me setting her back down in the crib will wake her.

"We should think about hiring someone to help with the girls-"

I stop him before he is able to continue. "The last time I trusted someone else with my child, they stabbed me half to death and tried to do the same to Henry. I have no doubts you would have been next had you not been smarter and quicker thinking than her."

Michael sighs and wipes his tired face. "Of course. I understand your worries, Raeanne, I really do. But that was a fluke. It will not happen again. I can promise you that much."

I clutch Charlotte close to my chest. "And I can promise you this: I will never trust a stranger with my child again."

"How about someone who is not a stranger, then? Perhaps Lorena or my mother? We can trust them. They have proved it over the months we have had the girls. Ashton is great with them but he needs help too."

I shake my head. "Absolutely not. Asking them to step in every once and a while is one thing and I appreciate it greatly but to ask them to devote their lives to our children? I could never." To think of asking any of the three of them to abandon their lives to help me is like imagining giving up. I will not give up.

"Raeanne, I understand your hesitation to let someone else near the girls but we can not continue on like this. The girls can not be wheeled into every meeting we have." He sighs.

"Well, Victoria could. She sleeps like a rock. Charlotte on the other hand..." I joke.

"Raeanne." I can tell he does not find it funny.

"Seven months of marriage and you have already grown tired of me?" I ask.

"Grown tired of you? What are you talking about? Have you gone mad?" Michael is taken back by my inquiry. "What makes you think I have grown tired of you?"

I fight back tears. "Every time you mention my name, it is full. Never any nicknames or words of endearment."

Michael wipes his face again. "I adore you, raeanne, I do. But your failure to ask for any help at all is infuriating." Michael's words seem careless. They sting as he speaks.

"My desire to be independent is infuriating? To the point you stop caring?"

"I never said I stopped caring."

"Not in those words." I control myself before I begin to cry. Why does it feel like he has no love for me any longer?

"Not at all."

"You stand here asking me to abandon my children without thinking-"

"Never." He stops me. "Being King is taking a toll on me. Just as being Queen is taking a toll on you. We now have three children, one of which won't sleep through the night and one who wakes us up every hour to tell us he had had a nightmare. All I am saying is we need a break."

"We need a break from the kids or from us? What are you saying Michael? Have you lost all love for me?" I ask him directly, needing to hear the words. If this is the end for us, I need to know now.

"I love you with all my heart! Damnit! But we simply can not do this as we are now! We need help! You need help!" He shouts at me, waking the sleeping baby in my arms.

Tears flood to my eyes despite all attempts to keep them back. I did not expect him to yell. I turn around and open the door. "Lady Lorena, please help me roll the cribs back to my chambers." I set Charlotte back down in the crib which does not help the screaming baby calm herself. I turn back to Michael. "Tell the French dignitary we will send troops if they vow to help us resist when Spain sends for our son again."

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