Princess Victoria

I ball up my fist and knock on the door in front of me. Looking behind me, I check to make sure no one is sneaking up around the corner. Clarke stands at a comfortable distance away from me. I smile at the calm he and his presence brings me. "It will be okay." He whispers.

I nod. I believe him. I believe it will be okay.

The door opens. Serena is shocked to see me standing in front of her chambers. "Victoria?" She asks just to make sure she is not imagining things.

I nod and lean forward to hug her, taking comfort in knowing she is okay. "I am so sorry I have not come to see you sooner." I cry, squeezing her just as hard as she squeezes me.

"No, I am sorry I did not come to see you sooner." She pulls away and examines my pained face. "Would you like to come in?" She motions behind her.

"Um," I look around. "You are alone in there?"

"Yes." She nods. "Clarke can come in too, if you'd like. I know he is trustworthy." She offers.

"I-" I look back at him, wanting desperately for him to never leave my side. "I think I might have to do this on my own." I smile sadly, knowing this is going to be one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and I will be doing it alone.

"I will wait right here." He plants his feet, letting me know he is not going anywhere.

I enter Serena's chambers. The door clicks behind me and a chill runs through my body. The sound brings me a flash image of the man using the cruel whip to slash me.

"I just made some tea, would you like a cup?" She asks, pouring herself one.

I shake my head and sit down. "No thank you." I look around her cute little room. It is very homey in here. "How have you been?" I ask her, hoping she is ready to talk about it.

She shrugs and sits down at the chair across from me at the table. "I am still having nightmares but overall, I would say I am doing okay." She sighs. "They never really laid hands on me so I can not feel like a Victim. You had it much worse." I can tell she is still heavy with grief.

I understand her pain. I am the only person who can understand her pain because I lived it too.

"Of course you can feel like a victim, Serena." I grab her hand and lean across the little table to be closer to her. "You have every right to feel like a victim. You can not punish yourself because you think someone else had it worse than you. You are just as much a victim as I was." I make sure she knows her feelings can still be valid.

She squeezes my hand. "Thank you for saying that. And thank you for coming here." She breaks down in tears. "I was so afraid you would be angry with me."

"Angry?" I gasp through tears. "How could I ever be angry with you?"

"There are many reasons. But I thought mainly because I was the reason you were put in this mess in the first place." She wipes some tears away.

"Please do not confuse your opinion with the facts. My family's position is what put me in that mess. Not you or anyone else. It is you who should be angry with me." I explain. "You were captured because of your close proximity to my family."

I wish I could end all of her pain. Would me being gone do the trick? Does the fact that she is going to be forced to see me every day for the rest of her life hurt her more?

"Then surely I thought you would be angry I was not treated worse so you could be spared from their cruelty." She tries to find ways to make me feel anger towards her.

"What an awful thing to think. I am sorry you ever felt the need to think that way. I hope I did not do something that made you think I wanted that. I would never wish harm on you over myself, Serena. You are my friend. I did everything I could to keep you alive." I try to explain.

She nods. "I know. I know you did. I heard you talking to him. I was too afraid to open my eyes. You were so brave and I was not."

"You are mistaking my actions as brave and are forgetting that you were brave from the very beginning. You had the courage to try to escape even when it seemed impossible. You somehow untied yourself and then me and came up with an entire plan. That is braver than most solders I know." I laugh sadly. "And I know a lot of soldiers."

She clenched her eyes shut in an attempt to keep the tears back but as soon as she opens them, they flow freely. "I am glad you are alright, Victoria."

I stare at my hands, wanting to use them to gouge my eyes out so I can bleed to death and maybe be at peace with myself.

"Up until knocking on your door and having you smile upon opening it, I was not so sure I would be alright." I admit, feeling a sort of weight lifted off my shoulders. "Honestly, I did not want to face you again after what happened. I didn't want any reminders of that night but I realized that if we stick together, we can overcome anything. You are not a reminder of the torture. You are a reminder that we are strong. You are my best friend, Serena. I want us to get better."

Serena nods and shuffles her chair closer to mine. "We will. It will just take time." She sniffles. "I have Henry and you have Clarke. And we have each other. At the very minimum, we know at least those people we can trust."

"Have you seen Henry at all?" I ask. "Since we got back? I'm his own sister and I have only seen him once or twice."

"He stops by every now and then asking me how I am. I haven't told him anything yet. I was not ready to tell anyone else." She shrugs. "I want to be able to open up to him but I am not ready yet."

I nod. "I have not told anyone else either. Not even Clarke. I am sure they have put the story together by now but saying it out loud just feels-"

"Real." She joins me, saying the word at the same time I do.

*
Do you think Victoria can start to heal now that she has talked to Serena about their shared experience?

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