
(14) Secret
Princess Victoria
I throw my legs over the side of the bed and sigh. "Here, let me help you." Clarke offers me his hands for support.
"Oh please, Clarke. You act as if I almost died." I choose stand without his assistance.
"You did."
I roll my eyes. "I was never in danger for death. I simply slept a little longer than usual."
"Victoria." He sounds frustrated with my careless attitude this morning.
"Clarke," I return his tone, seeing how he feels when I use it with him. "I am already behind for the day, Clarke. I'd like to just get to it." I stand in front of him, allowing him to lace up my corset for me. "I have to meet my new Lady in Waiting." I sigh.
"Why are you being so cold with me?" He asks, spinning me around after finishing with my corset.
"Because, it is already hard enough trying to not be in love with you. I am trying to make it easy on both of us and push you away." I shake my head. "Is it working?"
Clarke rests his hands on my shoulders. "Why are you trying to push me away?"
"Because Henry has forbidden this." I point to the space between us. "And what Henry says, goes. I will always resent him for it but he is my king and I have to obey him." I walk to the door. "Goodbye Clarke." I look at the ground.
"I hate the crown." He blurts out. I turn around to face him.
"This one on my head?" I ask. "Is it that ugly?"
"No, that is beautiful. It is perfect for you. I mean I hate the monarchy. I hate everything it represents. It killed my parents." He continues. "Your mother withdrew all funds from the village programs to fund the war with Spain and both my parents died as a result. My father died in battle fighting for her crown while she sat on her throne. And my mother starved so her sons could have a slice of bread instead of starving themselves."
"Clarke," I rush over to him, throwing my arms around him. "I am so sorry. I had no idea."
"I want to hate the crown and everything it stands for and produces but then I met you and that task gets more and more impossible with each day." He lifts my chin to look at his face. "I understand why you wish to push me away and stop loving me. You do it to protect yourself. You are doing it for the sake of your mental wellness." His breathing intensifies. "But I can not not love you for the sake of mine."
"How can you even look at me? Knowing what the institution has done to your family?" I ask, crying. I feel for him and his family. Though, I could never understand what it is like to hurt the way he does.
"Because I love you, Victoria. Because you do something to me that I can not seem to explain. I love you. That is the beginning and ending of everything. That is my story now. My parents gave their lives in the name of your mother and I am prepared to do the same for you."
I grab his face. "Don't say that." I kiss him. "Don't say that. Don't put that energy out into the world." Stroking his cheek, I kiss him again. "I love you. I love you. I will do anything I can to be with you. Even if it has to be in secret." I pull him closest to me. "I don't want to keep you a secret but I also don't want to live without you."
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