I Feel broken honestly.

I Just feel pain, sadness, and depression rn.

The memories are haunting me.

Over.

Over.

and over.

I don't know why it hurts soo much but . . .

I guess it's the one time I felt love tours someone for a very long time and not getting over it in a month . . .

I loved them for 3 years and I felt like all of that was thrown out through the window.

My love, hard work, my feeling is all gone and replaced with negative feelings . . .

They liked to me and cheated on me for two times.

I never understood why they did it and what I did wrong.

Was I not showing enough Care?

Was I not showing enough Love?

Was I just not enough for them . . . ?

Was just being used as a toy?

Was I just used as a test dummy?

Was I just used as attention . . . ?

I ask my self all the time . . .

What went wrong?

Where did I go wrong for them not to love me?

The memories are haunting me and destroying me in the inside.

Strangling me, breaking me and drowning me.

In pain, sadness and more pain.

If I had a wish then my wish is for me to never have feelings.

Be emotionless for I won't be able to pain.

Along with feeling suicidal.

Or to never meet them.

When I talk to them all the memories flow back in me along with a pain of a waterfall running down my face.

Why me?

What did I ever do?

To deserve this pain?

These haunted memories for a reason?

To bring me Pain?

I'm feeling a lot of pain and I can't get rid of it.

Even if it were two or three months since the break-up.

Since crying my eyes all day and night.

Since giving them two chances but . . .

Leaving me all broken.

I sadly still care for them . . .

I sadly still show kindness and hope to them . . .

I sadly still love them . . .

It's sad yet kinda heartwarming.

I just hope they find happiness.

I hope they will love them . . .

They will care for them . . .

and most importantly they won't break them as they did to me.

Please be happy cuz if you're happy then I'm happy.

I'll still be here for you.

To talk to you.

To help you.

Even if it hurts me a lot.

I will take the suffering and the sadness for your happiness.

Cuz I think God says I don't deserve happiness and only suffering.

I'll be here.

Even if we don't know each other in real life it still hurts a lot.

Please be happy and forget about me.

Much love and suffering, Silver_Rose15 aka Kate