The day of Simon's gathering had arrived. I had dressed in something not paint stained, I had showered and even slicked on some mascara for the occasion.

I pulled up to Simon and Selma's home on the outskirts of town. Somehow they had survived the transition from rock stars on the road to settled family. Probably due to Selma's independent career as an author. She had written several best sellers and was over the years as famous in some areas as her husband. Simon had, since the retirement of Obstruction, spent time on the road promoting Selma's novels. He was as much a book-nerd as a music-geek and loved the whole literary festival scene, especially when he could boast about how he married a literary genius and best selling author.

When they were home, and Selma was writing, he spent time in studios as a session musician for other bands. He still loved his music as much as Ethan did and those two had posted several youtube tutorials on how to emphasise the melody with a bass and guitar.

I parked in the generous drive and looked around for the other cars. Up the drive I saw Ethan's car pull up so I stopped to politely wait for him and the kids. He pulled up next to me and our two children spilled out in argument over some silly teenage detail.

"He ate the last pancake this morning," Ethan shrugged as he closed the car door.

"Your cardamom pancakes?" I asked.

A part of me was wondering about the impulsive sharing of information. The longest conversations we had were about the children, but still. The tone between us was too comfortable for my wounded heart. Suddenly it was as if something between us had shifted further down into friendly. Away from the love I still had for him.

"Yeah," He nodded, still watching the kids as they instead of heading for the front door went around the back.

"He's a bottomless pit that boy," I smiled at the receding back of our 14 year old.

"Especially at breakfast," Ethan chuckled.

"But your pancakes are pretty damned good," I said, trying to not remember how many weeks it had been since I last had any.

He turned to look at me with a tilt of the head before he smiled that magic crooked smile that always won me over.

"You're a pretty good cook too, Izzy," He smiled.

I tried to avoid looking at him, but failed. He was still the most beautiful man I knew. Still the kindest, the one that fit me and felt like he was made for me. I thought about what Aya had said about talking and drew a breath to try gaining some courage.

"Listen..." I started, but couldn't get any further when Oddball pulled up next to our cars.

Ethan looked at me with a careful little smile before nodding. We had to get it out in the open. Talk things through. And more importantly, I had to find out what he wanted so I could allow my heart to break and shatter for real rather than this rift that was slowly, constantly tearing itself open.

Oddball jumped out and opened the door for his curly haired little princess Elsie. Oddball had chosen to name his adoptive daughter for his sister who died in an accident at the age of 12 and she had become the absolute joy of her father's life. Out the other side, equally curly haired Hale bounced out and ran around the house in search of Nico and Seb.

With their brown eyes and freckles, they could both easily pass as his natural children.

"Any idea what Simon wants?" Oddball asked looking between Ethan and me, seeing how close together we were stood. I took a step back accidentally bumping into my own car.

Out of all our friends, Oddball understood our time apart better than anyone. He also knew how much we had loved each other and how close we had been. After breaking up with his long time partner, Evan, Odd had not ever considered another relationship.

When Ethan first left, Oddball had been in my home half an hour later to wipe my tears. He had let Ethan move into the granny flat above his garage and then come to see me.

It was partly due to Oddball that we still were on friendly terms, that we still hadn't had that shouting match and anger that everybody else expected. Oddball acted as a mediator, even when he probably should have stayed away and let us scream at each other. It was just as if our passion had fizzled and the urge to blame each other for the pain was not even there.

Oddball had just observed our first meet up after Ethan moved and declared us unnaturally calm. We had done the interview, done the Obstruction work and not let our personal split mess up.

Now he was stood there with a little smirk between the two of us, similar to the smirk he had worn more or less constantly in the months between me joining the band and us becoming a couple all those years earlier.

"I have no idea," I replied to his previous question.

"Knowing Simon it's probably another "back to the 2000's" thing," Ethan shrugged.

"Or something a bit more important," Oddball grinned and turned to walk to the house.

I followed, feeling the goosebumps on my neck at the sound of Ethan's footsteps close behind me.

Oddball reached out and lay his arm around my shoulder in a comforting hug.

"You okay, short stuff?" he asked. His 6 foot 3 broad frame dwarfing my 5 foot 4.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"Or... not really?" Oddball asked.

"Just tired. Got loads to do before the exhibition," I shrugged.

"If you say so," Oddball nodded doubtfully with a smirk.

Odd reached out and enclosed Ethan into his other side.

"How about you, buddy?" he asked.

"I'm all right," Ethan shrugged without looking up from the ground.

Oddball shook his head with a laugh and let go of me and Ethan at the same time, deliberately placing us within touching distance. Both of us sent him a pointed glare.

We rounded the corner into the back garden and saw Simon trying to light the barbecue while Selma was trying to hide a laugh at his repeatedly failed attempts.

Ethan walked over to her and gave her a hug.

"And here's the evidence that my sister is the competent one," he said.

"Oh shut up," Simon grumbled.

Silently, Selma walked over to her husband, gently kissed his cheek before she casually flipped the gas switch.

"Try now, sweetie," she told Simon.

I envied their happiness. The way Simon's face went from annoyed to sheepish the moment he looked at Selma. The way her hand stroked across his back as she crossed behind him with a laugh, on her way through the open patio doors into the kitchen. I sent a sideways look towards my own husband and fought my lungs, forcing them to take in air at the thought of never touching him again. In an attempt to avoid tears, I followed Selma into the house.

"Do you need a hand?" I asked, seeing the food stacked on the table.

"Got it under control. Just need the monkeys to not eat it before it's served," she smiled and nodded towards the three teenage boys out on the patio.

Elsie and Juniper had found a shaded spot under a tree where they were playing some game on a touch pad, while Ayame had found her favourite uncle Oddball. Since her birth, Aya and Oddball had developed a special bond. She loved her uncle and I was convinced that seeing Ayame grow up was a major part in his decision to adopt.

I rested up on the counter, watching Selma get the condiments out of the fridge.

"You okay?" she asked.

I fought back another bottom lip quiver before I shrugged. I could never lie to Selma. She'd married my best friend, I'd married her brother and she had become closer to me than a sister.

"I've always thought my brother was an idiot when it came to you, but this time it's not in a positive meaning of the word," she smiled and gave me a hug.

I squeezed her back.

"Aya told me she's trying to get you to talk. I think that's a good idea," she told me.

"Yeah. Trouble is we only see each other with other people around," I mumbled.

"I know. You'll get there," she said.

"I don't know Selma... He just walked out," I said fighting back another raw dryness behind my eyes.

Selma studied me carefully.

"Do you remember back before you got together? When you weren't talking and everything was really weird?" She asked

"Yeah... How could I forget? I thought he hated me!" I said.

"Well... You came to mum's house that day and told him you loved him... He sat on the swings for an hour after you left, looking like the world had ended. He's looking like that now," Selma said and looked at her brother through the patio door.

I shot a look out and saw Oddball and Simon laughing and joking by the barbecue, presumably teasing Ayame about her non-existent boyfriend. Ethan was sat at a picnic bench, seemingly looking at the three boys playing guitar, but with his shoulders hunched and his elbows rested on his knees.

"Go. Talk to him," Selma said, just as Ayame came and sat next to her dad. There was only so much taunting she could take from her two uncles before getting fed up.

Immediately he straightened and his face brightened in a smile as he looked at the girl next to him.

I looked over and saw Seb look at his dad with a tightly stern look on his face.

"The kids want you to fix things," Selma said quietly.

I nodded back before looking at her.

"It's been a year, Izzy," Selma said carefully.

I held back the dry feeling of tearing up, swallowed hard before looking at her.

"With the risk of sounding like a stupid teenager... I have no idea what to say to him," I said self ironically

Selma smiled and was about to reply when Simon came in.

"Woman! We need meat!" He grinned and beat his chest.

"And then there's this caveman..." Selma sighed and pointed Simon in the direction of the food.

"Ugh! Ugh! Thank you," Simon said and kissed her before grabbing the tray and walking out.

"Eww!" Nico exclaimed as he spotted his parents kissing.

"Yeah. Eww," Seb chimed in half heartedly with a sad look towards me.

I realised my son missed the days of whole hearted disgust at his parent's affection. I smiled back at him.

"Let's set the table while that man of mine pretends to cook. Leave it ten minutes and someone else will have to take over," Selma said and we both started carrying stuff out.

I reached the picnic table with my arms full of plates when Ethan stood up to take them from me.

"Izzy..." he said.

I braved a look up at his face and saw a frightened, insecure look.

"I know. We need to talk," I said trying to hold back the urge to throw myself at him.

In the past our fights could usually be fixed with a kiss, but this ran deeper.

"Thank you," He said and looked around us self consciously.

Although they looked like they were doing other stuff, I knew we had everybody's eyes on us.

"Later tho," He said with a half smile that had my gut erupt in near forgotten butterflies.

How was it possible to still have a heart stopping crush on the man I was married to and had kids with?

I gave a half smile back and a nod, not daring to look into his eyes.

Not yet.

I would have to when we came to crunch time.

As soon as Simon had thoroughly burned the first batch of burgers and had his cooking privileges revoked, he gathered Oddball, Ethan and me around the table while Ayame had the food under control. Juniper and Elsie were sitting within pestering range of the three teen-boys loudly discussing a boy-band they knew the boys disliked with a passion. Hale leaned over to Elsie and whispered something in her ear while shooting a gleeful smirk towards Seb. The instant blush and enthusiastic slaps he received back had Hale and Nico laughing loud while Seb cringed. I exchanged a look with Oddball.

"You'd better keep that boy of yours away from my daughter," Oddball grinned.

I chuckled softly.

"Or at least have him wait until she's older..." Odd mused with a laugh.

Simon silenced us with a little tap on the table.

"So... Food first? Or news first?" he asked looking overly excited.

"Is this family kinda news?" Oddball laughed.

I automatically cast a glance at Selma's midriff.

Simon shook his head with a laugh.

"Nope. I think Selma would strangle me if I suggested another child," he chuckled.

Selma nodded in agreement from the patio door.

"Just tell them, Simon," she laughed.

"Okay. So I got a phone call from the label... Apparently there is a public petition to get Obstruction out of retirement," he said.

"A petition?" I asked.

"Yeah... Like the public ones to save dolphins and to make politicians pass laws... Only this one is to get us to record stuff again," Simon said.

"And? Our fans have always been supportive," Ethan shrugged.

"Yeah... but this thing is viral," Simon said and leafed through his phone. He held it up so we could see a website.

It was entitled "Bring Obstruction back!" and demanded a new tour. What caught my attention was the number of signatures.

There were over 90 million of them.

Oddball whistled quietly next to me.

"Assuming some are double from multiple email addresses, it's still sky high," Simon said.

"And the fan club is going mad!" Selma commented.

Simon nodded.

I quickly brought the fan club forum up on my own phone. We had made a point of staying close to our fans and each had a forum i.d. on the fan page.

It felt a bit silly, being a member of a fan site for ourselves. But posting the occasional message on there made it clear that we were interested in their opinions too. I regularly posted thank you's and occasional information about where we were and what we were doing. Oddball would sometimes post competitions to win signed stuff while Simon and Ethan would post exclusive videos of either bass and guitar tutorials or just a preview of a song we were working on.

It had given us a personal image where the fans felt they got closer to us.

My private message box was full as usual, but this time, rather than complementing me, they were mostly asking us to reunite.

I opened one titled "your break" to find a fan asking if the rumours of an upcoming divorce was real. I shuddered at the word and returned to the forum where most conversations were about getting us out of hibernation.

My three bandmates were obviously still processing the news. Apart from Simon who was looking at me with a grin.

He stood up and walked a distance from the other two, waving me to follow.

I stood and walked with him out of hearing range until we were stood under the old apple tree.

"I'm not telling you what to do here, Izzy, but this is another good reason to fix your marriage!" he said seriously.

I frowned at his interfering while appreciating his direct approach.

"I see my best friend struggle and I've already kicked Ethan's ass over this..." Simon smiled.

I looked at him in disbelief.

"You kicked his ass?" I asked.

"Not literally, but I did remind him of a certain promise he made once," Simon grinned.

"And?" I asked.

"He told me it was none of my effing business," Simon shrugged.

I almost laughed.

"Effing?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. Effing," Simon said with a small smile.

"What happened to swearing? Did you grow up, Simon? " I teased.

"Well... Selma told me it's a bad influence on Nico..." Simon grinned.

I chuckled quietly and shook my head again. He was well and truly in her power.

"Point is... I need to know you will be okay," he said.

"I'm okay," I promised.

"You sure?" Simon asked sounding sceptical.

I shrugged back.

"Cos Seb said you've stopped eating... Can't let my skinny girl disappear completely," he said and lay a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

I looked at the grass at my feet, following the path of a small beetle struggling to get over a small twig. My two teenagers were supposed to be in their most self absorbed phase of life, but instead they spent their time worrying about me. Knowing them they probably worried about Ethan too. Especially Seb, who was still young enough to see his dad as the big hero. A rush of guilt washed over me. Our children shouldn't have to worry about us.

"Look, Izzy... I pulled Selma through two baby depressions. I recognise the signs, and you are borderline giving up!" he said more seriously.

I nodded. Simon, my best friend pain in the backside cared enough to worry about my lingering depression.

"I'll see you through, even if that ass of a husband of yours doesn't. But you have to want my help. Okay?" he said.

I nodded.

"So? Wanna be a rock star again?" he asked.

I rubbed my face in my hands.

"Even if you don't fix your relationship, music makes everything better... and I'll be there to make sure you eat!" he smiled with worried concern.

I smiled at his enthusiasm.

"Sure," I mumbled, fully aware that I could never deny Simon anything.

"Good! And we'll replace that guitarist if he gets on your nerves. I mean, we have a home grown selection of potential replacements..." Simon grinned and nodded to our sons who were sat in the sun passing an acoustic guitar between them.

I smiled at him again and received a tight hug before looking over to see Oddball and Ethan both leaning over the table in a hushed conversation. I raised my eyebrow at Simon.

"Am I smelling a conspiracy here?" I asked.

"Nope," Simon said, looking a fraction too innocent.

"So no talking to Odd before this meet-up?" I asked.

"Maybe," Simon winked and led us back to the table.

Self consciously, I threw a glance towards Ethan, who was openly looking at me.

"What?" I challenged.

"Nothing," he muttered and returned his attention to the fan website forum.

"So? Wanna be rock stars again?" Simon asked.

I looked at Ethan, wondering how on earth I was going to work with him if he wanted a divorce.

"I'm in," Ethan announced with a nod.

"Me too," Oddball grinned.

"One question," I said drawing three faces to look at me.

"...or maybe several..." I continued.

"You're gonna be all practical again, aren't you?" Ethan smiled.

Again my heart stopped a never ending beat. He'd said that same thing when we were first offered a recording contract all those years ago. I swallowed heavily at the memory. We had been in a bad place back then as well and Oddball had forced us to talk. I looked at Odd and Simon, seeing their small smirks. At that moment I was willing to bet my children that they had an active part in that petition.

"Okay. Ayame has settled. Finally. After being fed up with touring and fame she's happy to be average," I said.

"She'll be 18 in a couple of months. Legal adult," Oddball shrugged

"Two months left of school before summer and then she'll be at university," Simon nodded.

"She's been accepted on the audition for the music conservatory," Ethan mumbled.

"She has?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah... Meant to tell you when I picked them up," he said with a guilty look on his face.

"I didn't even know there was an audition!" I growled feeling anger replace the soreness in my chest.

"She wanted to surprise you," Ethan muttered, fully aware of my irritation.

"And Seb? Any exclusive plans for him?" I fumed.

Ethan shook his head like a guilty schoolboy.

"You're such an ass!" I snapped.

"She's almost an adult. Her! Choice!" he snapped back.

"Okay! Okay! Parenting later!" Oddball said trying to diffuse the tension between us.

"Izzy, are you in?" Simon asked.

"My exhibition opens in three weeks," I mumbled with a glare at Ethan.

"So we do a press conference next week, saying we're back. And after your art stuff, we record," Simon suggested.

He was almost bouncing.

Ready to go, go, go!

"New songs? Rehearsal?" I asked.

"I have a stack of new melodies," Ethan shrugged.

I looked at him too and suddenly realised that all three of them were praying for me to give a thumbs up.

"And we have all the stuff that never made it to the last album. It's still good enough for release if we play around with the arrangements a bit," Simon said.

I looked around at three hopeful faces. One avoiding my evil glare, two almost nodding and pouting to make me agree. My inner conspiracy theorist was gathering information and coming to the conclusion that the guys had been talking about this without me.

They had the plans in place.

"Fine! But after my exhibition!" I agreed.

"Goodie! But we can use your basement before that, right? " Simon asked almost bouncing in his seat.

"Sure. The studio is there, ready and waiting," I shrugged.

There was silence between the four of us for a while. I looked at Ethan.

"Seriously? " I huffed.

He glared back.

"Seriously! She wants to do a year at the conservatory. Maybe a year or two in Vienna or Prague and then settle in an orchestra!" he stated.

I rubbed my face in my hands. Ayame was good enough for a classical music career. I just worried that her dad might be projecting some of his own failed ambition on her.

"You've been so busy with your arts and stuff you don't know what goes on!" he said.

I glared at him again, seeing a heated look back at me.

"Don't you dare insinuate that I don't care about my kids!" I muttered.

"Guys!" Oddball said reminding me we were in company.

"It's okay. I'll go!" I smiled coldly and stood.

Ethan stood too and followed me as I walked towards my car fighting tears again at his proximity and apparent loss of feelings.

"Don't go!" he said once we were around the corner and out of sight.

"Why not?" I asked, not daring to turn in case I'd see something I really wasn't ready for in his face.

"I'm sorry, okay. I didn't want to stress you out," He mumbled.

Slowly I turned on my heel and had to focus deeply to release a slow breath.

"Not stress me out?!?" I hissed, holding back the anger.

"Yeah," He said scratching his head.

"Not stress me out, Ethan?" I repeated, throwing my hands up in surrender.

"Yeah. You've not been... We all worry about you, Izzy! You're not sleeping or eating and Aya says all you do is paint," Ethan said softly.

So softly I almost thought I could hear a note of tenderness in there.

"Well... gee... Thanks for the concern, but not knowing if there is an impending divorce ahead of me tends to make me a bit unhinged," I snapped and registered too late that I had brought up the D-word.

Quickly my hands went up to cover my mouth before it could run away with me again.

Ethan's head tilted to the side and his eyes widened in surprise. My hands slowly lowered from my face and I realised the shock of my own words was obvious on my face. Ethan rubbed his own face with his hands as he was breathing out in a heavy huff. Once he lowered his hands, his frightened expression mirrored mine. Before I had a chance to react, he took a step closer and his hands were on my upper arms clutching me hard. I closed my eyes and scrunched my mouth tight, trying to hold back the tears.

"Is that what you want, Izzy?" He asked quietly, his voice quivering.

I opened my eyes and stared straight into his old, washed out Nirvana t-shirt. The man was still completely incapable of buying himself new clothes, and usually ended up in the same stuff he'd worn 20 years earlier. I fought back the soft fuzzy feeling at the thought of all the times I'd tugged this specific shirt over his head. I sniffed back the feeling of a sob and drew a breath.

"Of course it's not what I fucking want, Ethan. But if it's what you want, I'll just have to accept it and that's the bit I really can't deal with!" I snapped trying to replace the sore feeling of loss with an anger I couldn't bring myself to fully feel.

I heard a quiet "Thank fuck!" before he wrapped me into a ridiculously tight hug. The clean, familiar scent of him overpowered my senses and suddenly I felt the carefully withheld tears seeping out. I heard his breath come in quiet shudders and felt his heart under my hand thundering to match mine. My eyes closed. It felt like I could fall asleep right there and wake to find the whole last few months had been a bad dream.

The sound of footsteps burst the bubble.

"Ok. You're not making out or killing each other, so I'm probably safe to tell you the food is ready," I heard Oddball chuckle.

"Okay. We'll be right there," Ethan said over my head.

Oddball's footsteps returned around the corner again and Ethan carefully lay a hand on each of my shoulders before he reluctantly pushed himself from me.

I still couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Aya's audition. I should have thought you might want to be there too," he said.

I nodded.

"I didn't mean to keep you out," He said.

I nodded again.

"We'll fix this, Izzy.... If that's what you want," he continued.

I gathered my courage and looked at him quizzically.

"If it's what I want?" I asked.

"Yeah," he muttered and scratched his neck again.

I studied him for a moment.

"You're the one who moved out and you're asking me what I want?" I asked.

Ethan nodded sheepishly.

"So... Nothing to do with reuniting Obstruction or Simon and Odd being interfering pests?" I asked.

Ethan looked at me with the start of a crooked smirk.

"They can be as annoying as they want, but if we're going on tour again, being able to look at you without my heart breaking would be a start," he smiled.

My own mouth twitched up into an involuntary little smile.

"That would be a start," I said.

He smiled a little wider.

"Fight over?" He asked.

"Sure," I sighed heavily, feeling the brick that had been constricting my heart cracking.

"Good. Now, let's go eat. I'm sure Simon's already got your burger ready," Ethan said and pulled me into another hug. I felt his fingers running over my ribs, assessing how much weight I'd lost. I clutched him back, letting my hands feel the softness of him where he'd added some bulk. It suited him tho. The slightly more rounded look of his face made him look younger.

Quickly he kissed the top of my forehead before he let go of me and turned to go back to the party.

This fight might have been over, but there was still a massive mountain to climb before I could feel whole again.

My eyes followed his back as he walked around the corner, while my stomach was quietly feeling the stirrings of some long dormant tingles that had a suspicious resemblance to happiness. I followed him to see him sitting down next to Ayame before laying an arm over her shoulder and pulling her into a hug. I had the sense of everybody's attention on me as I sat next to Sebastian. As predicted there was a steaming hot burger, with salad and cheese just how I'd always liked it on the plate in front of me. I shot Simon a grateful smile.

"Now, eat!" He said with a wink.

I looked around the table and saw Selma hiding a smirk in my direction, Ethan and Odd in a discussion about arrangements of one of the songs we'd never recorded and next to me Seb with a small smile in my direction. Next to Ethan, Aya was sat kicking her brother's shin to stop him from saying something.

"So. Conservatory, huh?" I asked her.

She nodded happily with her mouth full of food.

"I'm really proud of you. You know that, right?" I said.

Ayame nodded again.

I turned to Seb with a wink.

"You just stay out of trouble, buster!" I teased him.

"I'm never any trouble," Seb said with a confident grin.

"Yeah right!" Nico mumbled next to Seb and received a sharp nudge.

* What did you think of this chapter?

Please vote and comment. I really do appreciate it!

Have you ever been in an argument with someone you love? How did you solve it?

Teaser: The next chapter is another flashback. There is a conflict, but not between Izzy and Ethan!*