Two days before my exhibition, I was done with the preparations. The food was catered, the artwork was in place and my clothes were ready. In a fit of keeping my mind busy, I decided to make a batch of my special cherry chocolate cupcakes. The kids always used to love them and I wanted to make them a treat. Anything to keep my mind off Ethan and how to solve this mess.
I missed him so much it hurt, but those photos of him laughing with that other woman was tearing me to shreds.
Selma's words had also made an impression. What if he had needed to laugh with the other woman in order to rebuild things with me?

I was stood, cutting maraschino cherries in quarters with a bowl of candied cherries and some de-seeded fresh cherries ready to go, when the front door opened. I wasn't expecting the kids home from school yet, so I turned to see Ethan leaning on the doorframe, watching me. Without a word he went to the drawer and got his apron out before standing next to me.

"Want me to chop the chocolate into chunks?" He asked and pointed to the block of dark chocolate waiting.

"If you promise not to make shavings this time," I replied.

"Could you leave some cherries half?" He asked with a smile.

"They sink to the bottom of they are too big," I shrugged and cut the next few cherries in half before dumping them into the flour.

"Why do you always put them into the flour first?" Ethan asked.

"It mixes better that way," I replied with a shrug and threw a look at the hands working next to me.
For once he was chopping the chocolate into decent size chunks.

His scent filled my nose and having him that close was messing with my head. He made my heart beat harder and faster.
Without my permission, my hand reached towards his. I caught it and made it take a piece of chocolate before it had a chance to touch him. Somehow, his finger stroked across my knuckles. Fire blazed along my nerves and I was unsure what to do but withdrew my hand quickly. But not quick enough. In my side vision i saw a familiar little smirk as I put the chocolate into my mouth.

I sighed and shook my head before continuing with the baking, mixing eggs and milk and vanilla into the flour before adding the chocolate.

To my side, Ethan was handing me the ingredients one by one while humming. It took some time to recognise the melody, but once I did it almost made me laugh.
For some reason, my darling husband was humming "If I could turn back time" by Cher.

"You've been hanging around with Oddball too much!" I said, trying to stay serious.

"How come?" Ethan smiled, knowing exactly what he was doing.

"Cher? Gay anthem?" I asked, struggling to keep my straight face.

"It got stuck in my head..." he grinned.

"You are so cheezy!" I chuckled, unable to hold back anymore.

"Yep," he grinned and launched into the lyrics at top volume.

I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and received a wide smile back. The exact same smile that always made me feel special, unique.
His eyes were full of mischief, so similar to the first time he had shown me his playful side. He was still so handsome. And I realised I was still as much in love with him as I ever had been.

To get away from him, I gave an exasperated look and fetched the cupcake tray from the table, already lined with paper cups and started filling them.
He stopped singing and leaned back on the counter, watching me put the first tray into the oven. I got the second tray ready when Ethan cleared his throat.

"So... do you have a date for the opening?" He asked self consciously.

"It's a vernissage," I corrected.

"Well... can I be your date?" He asked carefully.

I lifted my eyes to look at him in surprise. He was so serious. I could tell with a small glance how close he was to tears. He hid it well, but the insecurity was hovering over him.

"I've not given up, Izzy. I don't care if you want a separation or a divorce. I'm not signing any paperwork!" He said.

"I haven't... I didn't..." I blundered.

He smiled carefully, looking vulnerable.

"I should have talked to you first. And I'm sorry. I just wanted to find a way out of this. For us," he said. There was an emotional quiver to his voice I had only heard once or twice before.

I looked at him again and saw the soreness.

"I still don't know what to think, Ethan," I said.

"Don't over think it. What does your heart want? Do you want me to be your date?" He asked.

My heart wanted him to be so much more than a date. I still wanted him here, in my home, with me. This last half hour had reminded me of how things used to be. Us cooking together.

"Yeah. I want you to be my date," I admitted, looking away.

"Good! Because I am so incredibly proud of you and your artwork. And I want to show you how much I still care," Ethan smiled.

I couldn't look at him. Or think of a reply.
My train of thought was interrupted by the door and two men storming in, laughing like loonies.

Ethan looked at them in surprise.

"You won't believe the question we just got from the paps!" Simon laughed.

"If the next single was going to be a Cher cover!" Oddball laughed.

I looked at Ethan with a raised eyebrow and watched him crumble into laughter.

I shook my head and rescued the cupcakes from the oven.
Simon was there grabbing one before I'd even put the tray down.

"Cherry choc cupcakes! Izzy I love you!" He cheered and gave my cheek a kiss.

I pushed him off and set the second tray in to cook. When I turned, three grown men were munching on too hot cupcakes, puffing their cheeks out to avoid burning the insides of their cheeks.

"In other news..." Simon smiled as soon as the last bite was gone and threw the wrapper in the bin.

"We have a date for our reunion gig," he said and reached for another cake. I slapped his hand away and earned a pout.

"Wait until they are cool!" I said.

"Such a child," Oddball grinned.

"Yeah. I've got most of the kids coming later so these are for dessert," I shrugged.

"Can I stay?" Ethan asked.

"Sure," I replied and got a happy smile my way.

"Guys! Gig. Details! In ten days!" Simon said ignoring the strange tension between the two of us. Oddball gave me a questioning frown, which I ignored.

"Ten days?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah!" Simon grinned.

"We got the headline spot in the town festival. It's perfect! The drummer of Headless God was arrested so they cancelled. The booking person rang this morning and asked if we can step in. I said yes," Simon nodded.

We all looked around at each other. One by one we nodded.

"And... I was thinking we could film the live portion of the video for Liquid Silver at the same time," Simon grinned.

"You've booked it haven't you?" I asked and got a nod and a confident grin back.

"Are we still sure about Silver?" Ethan asked, looking between the three of us.

"Yes!" We replied unanimously.

"The fans know it," Oddball said.

"It's recorded and sent to the label," Simon said.

"And it's a great song!" I nodded.

"It's just a bit... personal," Ethan mumbled.

"Own it!" I warned and received a shy smile back.

"Every word," Ethan smiled at me, making me feel strangely light hearted.

The afternoon of the art exhibition vernissage, Ethan turned up in a suit, looking so perfect I for a second considered dragging him into the house to fix the physical bit between us. But there was a part of me that still felt angry and hurt.

We got to the gallery and as I stepped out of the chauffeur driven car, onto the red carpet it suddenly dawned on me how much attention this exhibition was getting.

Journalists lined the walk to the door with questions about if this was timed to coincide with Obstruction's come back. At my side was Ethan. Ever present, forming a unit with me.
We posed for cameras, with our children and with Simon and Oddball.
Ayame had brought Matt as her date, but we had him ushered in to the building before anyone could really ask him anything.
Seb was stopped and asked what he thought of my art.

"My mum is creative as a person. She writes, paints and invents a world of her own. I'm grateful to have grown up in that world," Seb replied to my astonishment.
I gave him a hug.

"You are my inspiration!" I told him with a smile.

Eventually, we entered the gallery and I saw Elsie giving Dylan a hug.

"I love the dress! I don't know how you managed to get me something from the latest Gucci young collection, but I love it!" she squealed.

"I told you I'd get you something special," Dylan winked and patted her cheek adoringly.

To my side Oddball was watching with a small smile.

"He's not that bad," I whispered.

"He's too camp!" Oddball mumbled.

"Only to wind you up!" Simon grinned.

We took our seats as Theo, the curator opened the exhibition with a lengthy speech on my history as an artist for the benefit of the culture and art critics in the room. Most were ready to dismiss me as not serious on account of my life as a rock star.

"Izzy's achievement of an MA in fine arts while on a world tour, adds to her accomplishments. What we will be seeing here today is work spanning two decades. The evolution of the artist is evident and we have therefore chosen to display her work in chronological order," Theo explained. Several journalists nodded and stuck their heads up to look around the room.

"A few words, Izzy?" Theo asked.

I stood and walked over to where Theo sat, taking a barstool as rehesrsed.

"I think you pretty much covered it," I smiled.

"Any questions? Keep in mind you can ask afterwards as you see the work," Theo asked into the crowd.

A few questions about my inspiration and techniques was answered before we announced the exhibition opened.

I left the invited guests to mingle while I sipped my champagne, still sat on the tall stool.

"You did good, Izzy," Ethan smiled and gave me a hug. I knew it was as much for the cameras as for me, but I still savourd the touch.

"You're still not forgiven," I warned.

"I know," he grinned and started walking the room, looking at my artwork and answering any questions from journalists.

"He really is ready to fix things, Izzy," Simon said at my side.

"I don't know if I am," I said.

"You just need time, Izzy. You always just needed time," Simon smiled.

"I need him to back off so I can work out what I want," I muttered.

"That's stupid. See him over there. Smiling and chatting about your work. He looks proud as fuck. He wouldn't do that if he didn't care," Simon smirked.

"I know. I just don't know if the trust is gone," I shrugged.

Simon shook his head.

"You are so stubborn!" He muttered and moved on.

I grabbed another glass of champagne and made my way into the crowd. I was so proud of myself and my art.
For three hours I mingled and answered questions about each piece. The journalists left the gallery in a slow trickle, taking a customised memorystick containing photos of the art on their way out. Theo had controversially chosen not to have a main piece so the press were free to choose their own favourites.

There was one left, an elderly journalist from a renowned newspaper. He approached me with a smile.

"Mrs. Ryder. You astound me! I was expecting superficial, pretty stuff, but you are, actually quite profound!" He chuckled.

"Thank you, sir," I smiled gratefully.

"If it is for sale, I want to put in a bid for your representation of a heartshape," he grinned and pointed to my recent painting of the heartshaped ball of musical notelines and barbed wire.

I stared at him in surprise.

"For my private collection," he smiled.

"Thank you, sir!" I nodded.

"For the newspaper I will be profiling the children's hands," he said nodding to my painting of Seb and Aya's handprints, enlarged and repeated in various colours.

"I like the way you made them look like giant hands while keeping the look of actual children's handprints," he grinned.

"Well.. my children take the largest part of my heart so why not let them dominate my art," I shrugged.

"I can see that. And I will mention your series of slum city impressions. That is a political statement," he said.

"It is a cause close to my heart. Children should not be made to grow up in those environments," I nodded.

He patted my arm.

"You have a future in visual arts," he smiled and made his way to Theo to make a bid for the painting. He left not long after, leaving me with friends, family and those that were close to me.

Over in a corner, Ellen and Mio were stood smiling at each other. I couldn't believe they had taken so long to admit how they felt about each other.

Ethan's parents were talking to my parents and my step sister, Abby and her girlfriend Diane were talking to Aya and Matt. The rest of the kids were raiding the buffet table while everybody else were drifting between the art and conversations.

I caught Ethan looking at me with a sore, tight look on his face. He came to me and grabbed my hand, dragging me to the prints section of the room. He stopped in front of a lino print in two parts. Both done on square watercolour paper. Both line drawings. The first showed a basic, child like line drawing of a house. Front only. Windows and a door plus a smoking chimney. In the middle of the house a heartshape was removed, leaving a blank space.
The second print showed a human shape carrying the heart shape away. The doors and windows visible in the heart.

Ethan looked at me with tears in his eyes.

"That would be you," I said, pointing at the figure carrying the heart.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"In there," I said and pointed to the hollow heartshape taken from the house.

"If that guy returns, will the house be whole again?" Ethan asked.

"All the pieces will be in place, but it will take time to heal," I shrugged.

"I'm so sorry, Izzy!" He whispered softly.

"So am I," I replied and walked away from him before my tears could erupt. Leaving him to study the prints again.

Slowly the gallery emptied of people until only Theo, Ethan and I remained.

"This was a wonderful vernissage!" Theo enthused.

"Thank you, Theo!" I replied and gave him a hug before getting into the car to go home for the party.

All our families were at my home, drinks in hand, ready for a proper celebration.
I looked at everybody I loved. Seeing how my children were laughing and how Dylan was trying to resist talking to Oddball. I made my way to him.

"You allright?" I asked.

"Yeah. Seeing your art and how you put your emotions out there has me thinking," Dylan shrugged.

"Yeah... just stay out of the play house this time," I grinned and nudged him, seeing the bright red flames crawling up his face.

"Oh-my-god! He told you about that? Shit! Izzy... I'm so sorry. I just finally got him interested and.... fuck!" Dylan rushed.

"Just get one of the guest rooms next time. Okay?" I chuckled.

"Next time..." Dylan said. Trying the concept.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Oddball looking at us with a scowl. There was something insecure about him when he looked at Dylan. I nudged Dylan and made my way to my mum when a voice called my attention to the back patio.

"In honour of the fantastic art we have seen today, we have decided to dedicate some music to the artist. Izzy. We are so proud of you!" Ethan smiled, holding his violin and bow.
Next to him was Aya in a chair with her cello and Seb with his rarely seen violin. Neither of them had sheet music as they played a selection of music pieces. My tears filled my eyes as the beauty of it filled the garden.
A hand rested on my shoulder and I saw Ethan's mum smile at me.

"They have been planning this for months," she said.

Months. Before he moved out. Before I fell into the depression. Before I even had a date or a gallery or a curator. While I still only had the idea.

I looked at the three people I loved more than anything. The man I chose and the two children we had brought into the world.
Seb poked his tongue out at a difficult bit, just like Ethan used to. Aya closed her eyes to hear the harmonies. A step behind them, Ethan was beaming with pride as he exchanged a look with Seb to let him know he'd played correctly.

As the piece died down, Ethan cleared his throat nervously and looked straight at me while starting the next piece.
I gasped in surprise as I recognised Beethoven's Romance no.2.
The very same piece he had recorded as a Christmas present to let me know he was in love with me. I had of course missed the hint majorly and almost screwed up things between us before they had begun.
I listened, remembering how much in love with him I had been.
The music had been given added depth through cello and the second violin, but that only heightened the symbolism and message he was sending me.
I felt overwhelmed.

Later, the patio was cleared and basic band gear was set up for the boys. Drums, guitar and bass. They were playing covers of old rock tunes when Simon found me.

"I think we have a support band for our come back," he grinned proudly.

I was still reeling from Ethan's music and nodded absent minded, vaguely registering him standing by the kitchen door with a questioning look on his face.

***

I swear I rewrote this so many times... gaaahh.
What did you think?

Teaser: next flashback takes Izzy back to when they decided to take the break from rock fame.