I remember when we hired the tutor for the kids.
We were planning a year long world wide tour and couldn't leave them behind. We had done a shorter three month tour the year before and left Ayame with Ethan's parents to avoid the stress of taking her out of school, but this was much bigger.
Simon and I were sat at the kitchen table at his house looking through applications for the job. We'd deliberately advertised without devulging who we were. We didn't want any overly exited fans. We wanted a teacher.
We'd also advertised at the local university where they had a teacher degree programme.
In front of us were a shortlist of applicants and we wanted to reduce it down to five for an interview.

"I like this one," I said holding up the CV of a young woman.

"Yeah. She's in," Simon agreed.

"And this one," I added a young man to the pile.

Within a few minutes we had a shortlist. Simon held his hand up for a high five and I clapped my hand with his.

From the kitchen door we heard two voices laughing.

"You two will never grow up," Ethan laughed.

"They will be high fiveing at 90," Selma nodded along with her brother.

Simon and I exchanged a mischievous smile before we both pounced on the other two, tickling them. It didn't last long.  Two minutes into it, Selma retaliated by kissing Simon, which suddenly had them making out like teenagers.
Ethan on the other hand was so ticklish that his brain stopped working. I gave up when it sounded like he no longer could breathe, and was sat in a hunched position to avoid me and my fingers.

"You done?" He asked suspiciously.
I grinned with a nod and gave him a hand up.
He stood up with his face close to mine.

"You are evil!" He whispered softly before throwing a look at where Simon and Selma apparently had entered their own loved up little bubble.

"Leave them to it?" I asked.

"Yeah... I don't think I want to see the next part..." he smiled. 

"You taking me home then husband?" I asked with my tongue rounding my teeth in an unsubtle smile.

The surprised look on Ethan's face had me giggling.

"You're the one who wants more kids," I whispered.

"Let's go," he grinned and almost dragged me out to the car. Simon didn't even notice us leaving.

The next week was spent interviewing prospective teachers. Two were out as soon as we realised they were preoccupied with what perks they could get out of going on tour with us.
We were sat in our hired office when a young man in glasses came in. His qualifications were good in paper but in person he came across as pushy and annoying. He had ambitions to make 4 year old Juniper and Elsie do decimal calculations within a week. Elsie was showing some interest in letters and could read some, but they were far from interested or able to understand anything beyond simple counting.

We talked to him for a while before ending the interview politely.

The next was another young man who gave a good impression. He spoke well and assured he would tailor the subjects to the kids. He was in all ways perfect.

Following him was our last candidate, a young woman. She was almost too young but enthusiastic about all the activities she would take the kids on. The plans and ideas she had about teaching the kids history on fieldtrips and maths through music almost sounded to good to be true.
So we did the only logical thing we could do. We invited the last two to meet the kids.

Which is why we were in Oddball's garden with all six kids and a confused young man trying to get them to do as he said. 

Without success. 

'Nico was hung upside down on the monkey bars repeating everything the guy was saying in a mocking voice, while Sebastian was sat with his acoustic guitar practicing and Hale was playing tag with Elsie and Juniper. Ayame was reading a book. At nearly ten she was reading Lord of the Rings, partly to annoy the prospective teacher and partly to get away from the mayhem. 

An hour later the young man turned to us.

"Are they usually this... lively?" He asked.

"Sometimes," I replied.

"Just because your two are quiet...," Simon grinned with a nod to his own two, currently screaming at each other over a football.

"My two fight," I shrugged.

"And my two are occasionally calm," Simon chuckled and walked over to mediate before Nico lost an ear.
Less than a minute later Juniper threw her arms around her brother in a hug while both laughed.

"See?" I told the teacher. 

Five of six kids were finally looking at him.

"H-hey... So... I might go on tour with you guys," he started.

"What instruments do you play?" Hale asked.

"He looks like a pianist," Nico added.

"Nooo. His fingers are too short. Bet he's a bassist," Hale argued and suddenly the moment was gone and the kids were scattered.

At the center of the lawn the teacher was looking at them, trying to work out if this was what he wanted.

"Right..." the young man sighed

He left shortly after. And the young woman arrived.
The first thing she did was sit down next to Seb and ask to borrow his guitar. She gave him a few minutes before moving between the kids, introducing herself and finding their weaknesses. After half an hour she had all five small ones playing football, girls vs boys and Ayame as ref.

When she laughingly came to the porch, the kids followed.

"Do you want a drink?" Oddball offered as she shook her sweaty hair from her face.

"Yeah! So much for dressing up for an interview," she laughed at her own grass stained appearance.

Oddball gave her a glass and she turned to the kids with a smile.

"Do you know what's in this glass?" She asked.

"It's a drink," Juniper replied with an eyeroll.

"It's water," Hale nodded.

"It's a bit of magic!" The girl said and demonstrated surface tension by overfilling a small bowl.
All the while explaining the why and wherefores in sensible ways without dumbing it down.

"The kids love her!" Simon laughed.

"She's good!" Ethan nodded.

"I think we might have a winner," Oddball agreed.

Once her water demonstration was over, we called her to us.

"Right then Rhea. How would you feel about coming for dinner tomorrow? We're gathering the crew for the tour and think it would be useful for you to meet them!" I said.

"Does that mean??? Am I in?" She asked.

"Yep. If you think you can deal with that bunch," Simon grinned.

"They are so cool!" Rhea laughed.

Quickly I scribbled our address on a piece of paper and gave her. She tilted her head playfully.

"Mission accomplished! I now have an in with Obstruction!" She giggled.

I shot her a confused look.

"Seriously. I've been a fan forever. When you advertised this at the same time as you announced the tour... well... Logic told me it had to be you. I mean. Advertisin for a tutor for six kids on a journey around the world? It could only be you," She chuckled.

The four of us looked at her in suspicion.

"I'm a fan but not obsessive. I figured it was only fair that you know," she shrugged.

"Will it affect your job," I asked.

"Hell no. These kids are awesome!" She grinned.

"And we have another swearing girl onboard," Simon huffed.

"Sorry," Rhea cringed.

"Don't be... We're all terrible," Oddball laughed.

"Apart from Ethan..." I said.

"I'm not a fucking choir boy!" Ethan smirked at me.

"Ass!" I giggled.

"You guys are so much more normal than I thought!" Rhea laughed.

"Once you get to know us, we're downright boring," Oddball shrugged.

"Speak for yourself. I'm awesome," Simon grinned.

I raised an eyebrow at my best friend.

"Any questions?" I asked Rhea.

"Yeah... What shampoo does Simon use. That hair is epic. Even up close," she replied with a big smile.

"Charles Worthington. Orange bottle. I buy it at the duty free for him," Selma informed from her seat in a sun lounger where she had stayed out of the whole debacle.

"Noted," Rhea smiled with a studious look towards Simon's ponytail.

"And it is as soft as it looks," Selma added with a cheeky smirk.

Rhea started laughing.

"Good to know," she nodded.

Simon looked between them before landing on his wife with a tiny smirk.

"Wife! Did you marry me or my hair?" he asked.

"I married you, but your haid did play a big part in it," Selma winked at him.

"I work out, I read intelligent stuff and I buy her flowers, but what do I get? She wants my hair!" Simon muttered in mock insult.

"And your ass... I really don't mind the view of your backside," Selma grinned.

"Are all women this superficial or is it just my one?" Simon asked the rest of us.

I gave Ethan a quick once over.

"I'd say it goes for all of us..." I chuckled.

Ethan pulled me into a sideways hug and kissed my temple.

"And you're embarassing your kids..." Ayame said with an embarassed nod towards Rhea.

"I can handle it," Rhea shrugged.

Thf next day she arrived at our house with a bottle of wine and a smile. I showed her into the living room where she immediately found the kids.
Shortly after the doorbell rang again and I opened to Freddy.

"We have the tutor here. I want to seat you together because I think with her plans for gallery trips and excursions I'd like you to get photos," I explained.

"Sure thing," Freddy nodded.

"Rhea," I called and waved her to me.

"This is Freddy, our official photographer. I'd like him to get photos of the kids when you go on daytrips," I said.

"Your name is Freddy?" Rhea asked.

"Yes it is! Nice to meet you again," Freddy grinned.

"What a fluke!" Rhea laughed.

"You know each other?" I asked.

"Wouldn't say know... but we spent some time running into each other at that Impressionist exhibition a while back" Freddy smiled.

"You kept looking at me," Rhea said with a grin.

"But as usual he didn't talk to you?" I asked.

"Nope!" Rhea laughed.

"Well, Freddy. Now you get nearly a year to make a move!" I grinned and slapped his back teasingly as I saw his blush.

"Gee... I love having you as my boss," Freddy sighed.

"I can find another photographer? What do you say, Rhea? Want me to replace him?" I asked.

"No way!"  Rhea laughed and winked at Freddy.

"Why would they replace me? I've got too much blackmail material for them to ever leave me at home," Freddy grinned.

I left them to it, hearing Rhea laugh.

We'd gotten halfway through dinner when I noticed some tension between the kids. Hale was glaring at Sebastian while Seb was subtly stealing Elsie's food. I noticed he was only taking the stuff she pushed to the side.

"Seb? why are you taking Elsie'd food?" Ethan asked.

"I'm doing what you do with mum," Seb said.

"What I do?" Ethan asked.

"Yeah. you take mum's tomatoes because she doesn't like them. Elsie doesn't like the mushrooms," Seb shrugged and continued picking Elsie's mushrooms off her plate.

I exchanged a look with Oddball who was looking between his own two trying to work out which one to deal with first.

"Elsie. Don't you think you should try the mushrooms," he asked his daughter.

"They taste yuck," Elsie dismissed.

"But you don't need to give them to Seb," Odd continued

"Seb wants them," Elsie stated and calmly continued eating.

"Hale? What's your problem?" Oddball asked his scowling son.

"I want the mushrooms too!" He muttered with a glare at Sebastian.

"You can't have them!" Seb announced.

"Why can't Hale have Elsie's mushrooms?" I asked.

"Because he's her brother!" Seb explained patiently as if that was a given fact.

"And?" I asked.

Sebastian looked at me as if I was stupid and drew a deep breath before explaining, calmly and patiently.

"Because... I am going to marry Elsie when I grow up and that's why it's my job to eat the food she doesn't want. Like dad does with you," Sebastian told me evenly before returning to eat the much debated mushrooms.

Two seconds later, Hale had wrestled him to the floor. Four year old Elsie looked between her brother and Seb in confusion before jumping out of her seat, ready to pounce on her brother.

"You are not going to marry Elsie!" Hale growled in his best seven year old attack mode.

"Why can't Seb marry me?" she asked innocently causing her brother to sit up and stare at her.

Slowly, Seb went from slightly frightened to smiling. Elsie was smiling back at him and Hale looked furious.

"He just can't. Okay?" Hale explained.

Oddball carefully lifted his son from mine and crouched next to him.

"Hale. When Elsie is old enough, she will make her own decisions about this kinda stuff, okay?" he said.

"I already decided. I'm gonna marry Seb!" Elsie announced and climbed back into her seat, casually resuming her dinner. Seb stood from the floor, brushed the dust from his butt and sat in his own seat with a wide smile at Elsie.

Hale looked close to tears as Oddball led him away from the table for a little chat. The rest of us continued our meal with Simon looking ready to burst with some comment which was held in simply by a look from Selma.

Hale nodded at Oddball's talking and they returned to us with Hale looking a bit less upset.

He sat next to Elsie and fixed Seb with a stare.

"Fine! She can marry you!" He huffed.  

Nico being his father's son in everything down to the colour of his eyes, looked at Elsie's plate with a mischievous look on his face.

"Don't you dare!" Hale grumbled at him.

I looked at Rhea with an apologetic smile.

"Yeah. This is going to be one hell of  a year!" She grinned.