To my great surprise, after my talk with Sebastian, he didn't go straight into the basement. My son's coping strategy and thinking space was in music. Just like Ethan, Sebastian dealt with his emotions by picking up an instrument and hashing it out. Which made it easy to cope with his teen issues. Drums if he was angry, electric guitar if he was happy, acoustic guitar if he was trying to think. But after our talk, he went outside and lay down on his back in the middle of the trampoline. I could hear repeated drum patterns through the floor that told me Hale was practicing. Looking out of my window I considered going out to see if Seb was all right. Even for a sensitive 14 year old boy, he hadn't shed tears like that since he was little.
Where Nico was like Simon, all tough on the outside with a carefully hidden heart and Hale openly showing the world what he was feeling, Sebastian had always been the quiet, thoughtful tender soul out of the three. He'd be picking up injured animals to save them, Nico would be all for killing it to end the misery and Hale usually ended up physically holding Nico and Seb from getting into a fight over it.
I was about to go out to check on Seb when I saw Elsie climb up on the trampoline to sit with him.
I looked out a few minutes later to see them talking. Seb's face downturned until Elsie's hand took his. I realised suddenly that even with his best friends being the guys, the one he trusted most out of the Obstruction kids, was Elsie.
I observed the two of them and wondered if that crush Hale always teased Elsie about was Hale's way of letting Seb know that he had seen the same as I was seeing.
Suddenly Seb wiped his hand under his eyes and took on a happy smile just in time for Hale to come running out. He'd obviously made another funny remark because his sister whacked him over the head as soon as he got on the trampoline. Seconds later, Hale was under attack as both Seb and Elsie tickled him.

"Planning the wedding?" Oddball asked behind me.
He too was looking out the window at the kids.

"Yeah... not sure what that is, but Seb seems to open up to Elsie more than anyone else," I nodded.

"She goes to Seb too," Oddball grinned.

"They remind me of Simon and me," I shrugged.

"Yeah. If that's all it is..." Oddball remarked.

"We'll see," I said, unwilling to place more into the friendship than what was there. After all, my best friend had always been Simon.

"At least if her heart ever gets broken, Seb will be there to pick up the pieces," Oddball grinned.

"While Nico and Hale kick the culprit's ass..." I chuckled.

"I'll take them home in a minute. Seb could be with us if he wants," Odd said.
I nodded, thinking my son would have a better time at Odd's house than being sat here waiting for me.

I was dressed and waiting for my date with Ethan when Oddball took Seb over to his house for movies and snacks.
Aya decided to stay home and was sat on my bed watching me put the finishing touches to my make-up.

"So there was a young girl from Urban Sounds at the press conference yesterday..." I said.

"And?" Aya asked.

"She said she had her info from you... via Matt," I said.

"Oh... yeah. That would be Susie. She's like Matt's best friend's sister's friend or something," Ayame nodded.

I studied her, noting how she enjoyed the extended social circle that Matt had brought with him.

"She recognised me from photos. She's actually really nice. But a bit of an OTT fangirl," Ayame shrugged.

"Right... But she mentioned Matt. And I'm not sure that he's ready for whatever the paps come up with if they send out their sniffer dogs," I explained.

"I'll talk to her," Aya said. If she was serious about Matt, she also had to know that his interest might change if he got a camera in his face every time they went out.

"We don't want Matt running scared do we," I said.

Ayame was about to say something when the doorbell rang.

She ran downstairs and came back a couple of minutes later with a clever smile.

"Oh, mother dear. Your date is here," she said on a sing-song.

I shot her a pointed smile before pulling my shoes on. I'd gone with flats, a knee length summer dress and a light cardigan. Dressed for almost anything.

I stepped down the stairs and had to stop at the bottom, fighting back my jaw up to it's usual position. There, at the end of the hallway, by the entrance stood Ethan with a hand in his pocket and a single red rose in his hand. He wore a maroon shirt, rolled up to his elbows and his hair hung over his eyebrows in messy waves. My heart skipped several beats as our eyes met and his smile widened.

"You look just like you did on our first first date," He smiled.

I looked at him.

"So do you!" I replied.

"So much for a fresh start if we're just replaying the old one," he said. There was a teasing look on his face.

"So? It was a great start," I replied.

"Okay? Fast forward? First tour. First album. .." he started.

"Will the two of you just...fucking... kiss?" Aya suddenly huffed.

I had no idea how but somehow both of us had moved so we were stood practically on each others toes. My face was close enough to feel his breath and know he had brushed his teeth before coming to see me. My heart had been replaced with a small herd of animals all butting up against my ribcage. My lungs felt tight.

We both turned to look at Ayame.

"Seriously! Tension? Thick as fog?" she said waving her hands in our direction.

Ethan turned to look at me again.

"Something tells me that our daughter is shipping," he smiled.

"Yes! The sail is up! Let the anchor, or whatever it's called, and off you go," Aya sighed and went to the kitchen shaking her head.

Ethan's nose wrinkled in mischief.

"Guess we'd better go on this date and see if there are any holes in that sail then," he smiled.

Once we were in his car he turned to me.

"Are we still going with the pretend first date thing or do we fix the real thing?" he asked and started the car.

"The real thing. I promised Seb we'd try to figure things out," I said honestly.

"I was hoping you'd say that," he smiled.

"There is too much history between us to just push it away," I mumbled.

"Yeah. We've had some good times," he nodded.

"Could we just pretend this last year never happened though? Just for tonight?" I asked.

He nodded and drove on in silence for a while.

"Just one thing tho. Would you be willing to go to a therapist with me, Izzy?" He asked quietly.

"As in a relationship therapist?" I asked.

"Yeah. I want to fix us. But I think we need help," he said.

I nodded.

"Thank you. Right we're here," he said and parked up.

We got out of the car and I followed him for several minutes in through a forest. The slender but strong body in front of me led the way and I found myself studying the way his clothes moved as he walked. I fought back a chuckle as I caught myself checking out his ass.

He turned his head to check if I was keeping pace, looking a bit surprised at the smile on my face.

"Are you abducting me, Ethan?" I asked.

"Yup. I am leading you into the forest to sell you to a dragon for gold," he grinned back before he continued the journey.

"I thought dragons only went for virgins," I smiled.

"Hmm... Guess I'll have to keep you myself then," he smirked back at me, causing a weirdly familiar tickle to spread along my spine.

Just as I thought he'd lost his way he pushed back a branch and let me past him into a meadow. At one end it ended in a steep cliff overlooking the town, at the other end a weeping willow hung over a brook that ran through the meadow and disappeared into the woods.

"Oh, wow!" I whispered.

Ethan looked at me with a careful smile.

"Yep," he smiled.

"This place is magical!" I smiled.

"I came across it about a month ago and the first thing I thought was: I need to show Izzy this place!" he said.

The look on his face told me that the next thought had been a question of whether we'd ever even have a conversation again.

"Thank you," I mumbled.

He'd know I meant the meadow, the date and the way the mood between us had shifted from friendly but distant to weirdly flirty in the last week.

He nodded and went over to pick up a basket from next to a tree.

A few minutes later we were laying down on a picnic blanket, both on our backs but with my head on his belly so we formed a big T shape. One of his hands was toying with a strand of my hair. The other held my hand, playing my fingers like a five key piano. We didn't speak. Both of us just trying to tune in to our special energy. It felt so right, like coming home. And we hadn't even kissed yet.

There was a small hot ball of fire in my chest, urging me to cry. Every breath he drew, reminded me of how many breaths we'd been apart. Almost without my knowledge, my head twisted so I could face him. There was a smile on his face as his grey eyes met mine.

"I don't want this to end," he said quietly.

"Me either," I agreed and meant the whole us, the date, the moment, the eye contact.

The brown flecks in his eyes darkened slightly.

"Did you know your eyes change colour?" he asked.

"No?" I replied.

"Right now, it's like I'm looking at a very pretty wood elf with the same colour eyes as the grass," he smiled.

Ignoring the pretty-part, I sat up, looking down at his reclined form. For a second he tilted his head before he widened his arms in an invitation to hug. My heart acted faster than my head and I found myself cuddling into him before I even knew I had made a decision. Again, I was mesmerised by the way our bodies always molded to each other and fit like two jigsaw pieces. Lazily I felt his fingers drawing patterns on my back while my head rested on his shoulder. Time seemed to disappear and too soon, he sat up.

"We need to get to the restaurant," He said and started folding the blanket as soon as I was off it.

There was a weird quiet tension between us. Not entirely uncomfortable, but strange. We were both stealing glances at each other, both waiting for the other one to make a move. I wasn't sure what would be appropriate on a first date, but I knew that if he kissed me, I'd melt into a big puddle and never ever be able to get up. Once the blanket was folded he came closer to me and held his hand out. I took it and felt the heat of the modest body contact spread through me as we walked silently through the forest, back to the car.

"Next time we go there, I should bring my paints," I said as the car came into view.

Ethan nodded back at me, having picked up on how I had said we.

He opened the car door for me and like a gentleman stood there until I was safely buckled up before walking around to the drivers side.

"Where did the manners come from?" I asked.

"Well... My dad may have given me a lecture on chivalry..." he chuckled next to me.

"Good old Ken," I smiled back.

The silence descended again as we drove back into town. But is wasn't weird. For the first time in many months, the silence between us wasn't tainted with fear or apprehension. It no longer felt like a black hole would destroy us. I felt... relaxed. I looked at Ethan to see a little smile playing on his face too. We'd never been a grand gestures kind of couple. At the next bump in the road, another piece of the shell i'd built around my heart fell off and I allowed myself to feel happy in the company of this one man. The one man who made my soul sing and my skin rise in goosebumps with a smile.

He pulled up in front of an old battered italian bistro and I felt my jaw drop.

"Is this place still going?" I asked in awe as I stepped out of the car.

"It's the only place I'd ever take you on a first date," he said, suddenly standing right next to me.

All I could do was stare at him, trying to fight back the tears. I didn't even know why they were gathering. I was happy and confused and moved and amazed. For our second first date, he had taken me to the same bistro we'd eaten at on our first date. I'd thought I'd never win his heart back then, and he had thought he'd lost mine. That first date had been so full of laughter and kisses. We had been so occupied with each other we had just gone into the first restaurant we'd found. For over 20 years, we had been looking for it without success, but here we were. It was still here, and Ethan had found it.

"Let's hope the food is as good as I remember.... Or maybe it was the company," he quipped.

"Okay? Are you sitting next to me or across from me today?" I asked.

"Across. I don't think I ate much with you next to me last time," He grinned.

We entered and were seated at a table with a chequered cloth and a single candle in a chianti bottle.

"Just like in Lady and the Tramp," I giggled at the table.

"Spaghetti to share?" Ethan suggested and I felt my laughter bubbling up.

"You are way too sweet!" I told him honestly.

His face lit in a smile as he looked back at me.

"Anything to win my wife back!" He winked and I felt my blush spread across my face.

A couple of hours and a lot of food later, we were back at my - well our - house. In a few short hours of talking and laughing, I had fallen headlessly in love. All over again. He walked me up to the front door, again with the gentlemanly behaviour.

"So, Miss Taylor... I guess it's time to say good night," He said looking all kinds of shy and hesitant.

"That would still be Mrs. Ryder... and thank you for a really fantastic evening," I replied, searching my brain for ways to make this date last longer. Most of them featuring some offer of skin contact.

His face lifted until his eyes met mine and suddenly his smile cracked and the look in his eyes was pure pain. A second later he had his hands on my hips and his forehead was rested on mine. His breath was slow and unnaturally controlled as he closed his eyes.

"I can't do this anymore!" he whispered.

A cold fear seized me.

Had he changed his mind? Did he regret the date? Was this date a final goodbye?

His eyes opened and I saw fear and passion mixed. His hands pulled our bodies closer together.

"I don't know how many times I can leave you without loosing my mind!" he whispered.

I stared at him in confusion.

"Izzy! I miss you so much it hurts to breathe!" he whispered so intensely I almost didn't hear him.

I stared into those eyes so full of pain. There were tears forming and his face was contorted with his mouth set in a tight line.

"Come home," I mumbled.

Slowly he shook his head.

"Not yet," he said quietly.

I knew he could see the question in my eyes.

"Not until I know we're solid again. I can't lose you again!" He whispered.

I nodded in understanding. This was the closest we had been since long before he moved out. The closest I had been to kissing him. And I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt that spark that always shot between us when we kissed. Right now it was there, sizzling in the air, waiting for us to connect. All we'd have to do was let our lips meet and I was convinced that we wouldn't be able to stop. My heart was hammering in anticipation.

But he drew back, removing his forehead from mine, removing the skin contact, his breath on my face and the eyecontact.

"Two weeks ago, I picked up the kids from this porch and I didn't dare to look at you because I was so afraid that I'd end up kissing you and getting my heart kicked out of my ass," He said with a small smile.

"Two weeks ago I thought I'd lost you forever," I whispered in reply.

"So if I set up a therapy session?" he asked.

"I'll be there," I replied and earned myself one of those magic smiles that seemed to shake my spine loose.

"Good. We'll fix us," He said and swooped in to softly kiss the tip of my nose.

I scrunched my face and pouted which made him laugh.

"It's only our first date, Izzy. I'm not one to make bold moves too soon," he smiled and took a step back before turning around to walk to his car.

Yet again my eyes followed his back, and again I felt pieces of my soul tear loose to follow him, but this time the pieces didn't feel painful and heavy. It felt like I was sending little guardian butterflies to watch over him.

He reached his car and turned to give me a quick wave and a smile before he sat in and drove away.