Theo

"Where are we going?" Lily asks for the tenth time.

"Somewhere."

"Well, obviously it's somewhere. Oh, tell me, tell me, tell me!"

I glance at the street sign and see we are almost there. "Nope."

She leans forward, "I'll make you, your favorite pie tonight." She whispers, rubbing my arm. "With ice cream." She says seductively.

I laugh, "Love it when you talk dirty to me, baby." I reply sarcastically and she throws her head back on the seat. 

"Oh, come on!" She groans.

We reach the place and I park close enough before stopping the car. I unbuckle my seatbelt, get out of the car, close the door, then go to Lily's side. I open the door for her and hold her hand as I close it behind her.

"It looks like a-"

"Cemetery." I finish and her eyes grow wide.

I lead her to a bench in front of Cassidy's gravestone. I stare at her intently, trying to see her reaction, but as she sits down, her unreadable expression remains the same.

I sit next to her and read the words on her gravestone aloud. "Cassidy Renee Acquire. Born; Nineteen-ninety-three Died; Two-thousand-fifteen."

She turns to me as I stare at it, memories of her flooding my head. "Who is she?"

"My sister."

"Goodness." She whispers

I laugh quietly, "She always told me the first person to make me genuinely smile I needed to keep in my life. It was a joke at the time, but she was right. And I don't usually smile much, not unless I'm around you, it seems like."

She pats my hand. "Tell me about her."

I sit back. "Cass is my older sister. We did everything together. Went on trips, pranked people, laughed, smiled, everything. She was the coolest sister I could ever ask for."

"She sounds amazing."

"She was. But that was only towards me. Everyone else hated her. Even our parents were disappointed in her. I wasn't stupid either. I knew what she had done. Robbing, addictions, all kinds of things. Honestly, we were both fucking horrible people, but I didn't care. We had an amazing relationship."

Lily rubs my hand and moves closer. "How did she pass?"

"Suicide."

"I'm so sorry, Theo."

I shrug. "I knew it was coming. Saw the signs. I was angry at first, but now I wish I would have done something to stop her. I could have at least tried, you know?"

She takes my head in her face. "Honey, you've got to stop blaming yourself for everything."

I get out of her hold as I remember Cassidy's last note. "I'm trying, Lily, I am." I shake my head as tears try to escape. "I miss her every goddamn day. I wish we could've had for one day. Just one more."

I put my head down as tears fall. It takes me back to the first few months I spent crying at night over her. I could barely get out of bed most days. Depression, pain and regret. A lot of fucking regret.

I turn away to make sure Lily doesn't see as I wipe my eyes quickly. "Fuck. I'm sorry, Lily. I wasn't supposed to cry. This was su-"

Lily lifts my head and holds my face in her hands the same way I do her. "Theo, it's okay to cry." I shake my head and she stares at me in seriousness. "It's okay to cry."

I nod and kiss her forehead before getting out of her hold. For about an hour, I tell Lily about some of the things Cass and I did. I make sure to only tell happy moments, not wanting to scare her. I also tell Lily about the journal Cass gave me and the note she left.

I expect to feel open and like my guard has been let down, but I don't. Instead, I feel refreshed and free. I am able to talk to somebody about Cass and not feel like I am just sharing because I have to, instead because I want to. I've never felt happier to tell someone about Cass.

Lily and I walk around the city holding hands. I show her some of my favorite sights and after a while of complaining, I let her ride on my back. We take a lunch break before we begin walking back to the car.

She pats my chest and squeals, making me stop. "Muffin! Look, look!"

I frown, only seeing a sign. "Babe, it's a sign. I didn't know you prefer it over m-"

"No, it says there's a carnival at six!"

"So?"

"We're going right?"

I start walking again, "Hell no."

"Oh, come on, why not? It'll be fun! Tons of couples go to it!"

"And kids. Disgusting, cruel, kids."

"Please!"

"No."

"Well, can you hand me my phone?"

"Yeah." I reach for her phone in my pocket. "We're ordering pizza tonight?"

"No. I'm calling Diana to tell her you just told me you don't love me anymore."

I laugh, "I only said no, Lily."

"Same thing." She grumbles.

I shake my head and set her down off of my back when we arrive at the car. "Ridiculous."

She frowns and goes to the driver's seat. "Fine, I'll just go with Henry from work."

Sitting in the passenger's seat, I smile. "Play with his life if you want to, Lily."

Since Lily had gotten better with her driving, we decided today she would have another go at it. She scoffs as we put our seatbelts on and she starts the car. "And to think I was going to make your favorite pie tonight. You can count that as a no-go."

I need that pie.

"Alright, alright. We'll go to carnival, you little shit."

She claps her hands happily and places a kiss on my cheek. "Thank you, thank you! We're going back home to change and then we'll have an amazing time, sugar! Oh, I just know you're going to love it!"

I smile at her happiness and look away. "Whatever." I mumble

Lily makes sure everything is working right, checks the gas, takes her shoes off, drinks some water and turns the radio to her favorite station before she begins driving. We listen to the music in comfortable silence for about five minutes until Lily pats my shoulder, wanting to tell me about her experience at a carnival.

As Lily tells me about how she went to a carnival as a kid with her dad, someone speeds up. As they pass her, I notice a bottle of beer sits in their passenger seat. I frown as they turn back around recklessly.

"What the hell are you doing?" I shout as honks and other people yelling surrounds us.

The drunk driver speeds ahead and my eyes widen. When I see they are coming towards us, I face Lily. "Fuck, Lily, turn!"

She screams as the person comes closer and I try to reach for the steering wheel but am too late. Her screams are interrupted by the powerful force of the car and in the blink of an eye, our heads hit the dashboard. The glass shatters and the airbag hits me. My vision blurry, I turn to Lily. The only thing I can make out is her head on the dashboard, bleeding.

"Lily…"

My eyes shut and the last thing I hear is the sound of screeching tires.