I hated that Sensei was making us wake up early and meet with him, yet I loved it. Getting up early meant I could eat breakfast without being nagged at and hated on and have to survive through disparaging comments.

I picked at my eggs and fruit. I knew I had to eat. But every bite I eat feels like I'm surrendering, losing the battle. With a sigh I pushed away the barely touched plate. If I had been skinnier, should Shri have actually liked me?

I was so conflicted. Is it even worth it, starvi-- no, skipping a couple of meals to be skinnier? I sigh as I walk out the door. I was ashamed no matter what.

If my team found out I had skipped a meal, they would be so disappointed. And I feel so judged. But when I eat I feel like in losing the battle. I'm getting fat and ugly and unloved with every bite I take. If I just skipped the next meal, I would be skinny. I would be loved. I would be beautiful. I would be perfect.

I glanced up in surprise as I knocked into someone. "N-Naruto!" I stuttered in shock. Then I remembered my fathers words. Turning my eyes to ice, I walked past him.

I start in surprise as he grabbed my arm. "Let g-go if me," I ordered, tugging.

"You sound scared," he notes.

I shook my head. "W-why should I be scared of you?" I sneered, trying to keep the stutter out of my voice.

"I don't know. Why should you be? You're the one who bullied me. Shunned me. Laughed at my failure. If anything, I should be scared of you. But your standing here, terrified." He answered quietly.

My eyes darted from side to side, looking for escape. I licked my suddenly dry lips. I knew why I was scared of him.

It wasn't just because my father would hate me if he found out I conversed with this outcast. It wasn't because of the rumors-- monster.

It was because he was so strong. It was because he was so sad and so confident and so determined. He had everything going against him, even me, and yet he was stronger then everyone.

He had seen me at my weakest. Every time I shunned him, even as my heart was crying out to help him, I was being weak. I was feeble, wasted, forceless, frail, powerless, uncertain, fragile, wavering. I acted like a porcelain doll that had to do her father's wishes. I couldn't do what I knew what was right because I was weak.

I felt tears well in my eyes. "It's not your fault," is all I whispered, unable to look into his eyes. Then I darted away, ashamed of myself.

By the time I arrived at the meeting spot I had control over myself again. I smile and wave at Shun, who was standing there nervously. He smiled back, but his eye betrayed him. They were scared.

"Hey Shun," I greet him as I normally would. He seems surprised.

"Hello, Fuzen," he murmured.

I yawn and sat down on the bench. "Any idea why Sensei is having us meet so early?" I asked.

"No," he was slowly relaxing. "Maybe there's some training regimen he wants to try out," he shrugged.

We both glanced up as Daisuke shouts a greeting. He was holding eight dango sticks in between his fingers. He skidded to a stop next to us, grinning.

"They had a really good sale on dango so I got a bunch to share! Here!" He handed both of us two dango sticks, smiling that wide smile of his.

With a poof Sensei appeared, and Daisuke attacked him from behind. We stare as He wrapped his legs around him and pried open Sensei's mouth, shoving two dango sticks inside before disengaging and jumping away. 

Sensei stands there, flabbergasted. "What just happened?" He mumbled around the dango.

"You wouldn't have taken the dango if I just tried to give it to you, so I forced you to take it," Daisuke explained. He then turned to me. "Is it good?"

I smile weakly and take a bite out of it. "Very good," I say.

"You could thank me with a kiss," he suggested.

"Not in your wildest dreams," I joked and we both laughed.

"If it's good eat the rest!" He insisted.

I do as he says, feeling sick to my stomach. "Now, I'm sure you wondering why you're here this early," Sensei began.

"Actually, before you explain can I run to the bathroom?" I ask. He looks at me in exasperation. "It's, uh, that time--"

"Oh. Yeah, go, go," Sensei shoos me away.

I walk into a shop quickly, just pointing to the bathroom when the shop owner looks up. Walking in, I lock the door slowly behind me. I lift the toilet lid and kneel down on the floor. I stare into the bowl nervously. Should I really do this?

Slowly I open my mouth and cram two fingers down my throat. I hit the back of my throat and nothing happens. Disgusted with myself, I force them farther down my throat. Suddenly I trigger something.

I pull my fingers out of my mouth quickly as my stomach spasms. I retch, but nothing comes up. Nearly crying, I try again, and this time heave the dango back up.

I cough and retch a few more times from the taste and feeling. It was terrible. I reach up and pull the handle down, trying not to cry. I wash my hands and rinse my mouth out repeatedly, willing myself to calm.

Looking up at my reflection, I stare into my eyes. "One more meal. If I skip one more meal, I'll be beautiful," I reassure myself softly. I dry my hands and smooth my hair down before walking back outside.

"Sorry about that," I whisper, shifting my gaze away from Sensei's.

"It's fine, no problem," he reassured me. "As I was saying, the reason I called you out this early was to tell you something."

"You could have always left us a note, get it?" Daisuke grumbled.

"Then we wouldn't have to be out here before even the sun was up, y'know?" I continued.

"So next time don't get us up so early, mmkay?" Shun smiled.

"I'm the adult who makes the times and, and stuff!" Sensei declared.

"You're barely older then us! You're probably the youngest sensei of all!" Daisuke teased.

"I am. And I'm one of the strongest, you would so well to remember that, Daisuke," Sensei warned. "As I was saying, I have entered all of you into the chunin exams." 

"Are we really ready for this?" Daisuke asked, taking the slip of paper from Sensei.

"Dai, are you doubting yourself?" Shun mocked lightly. "Never thought I'd see the day."

Daisuke sticks his tongue out at him. "But seriously. We haven't been genin that long. Will we really be able to do this?"

"Dai, Fuzen, Shun. I have complete faith in you as a team. You guys have a natural feel for teamwork. You protect each other and work together. Your abilities, strengths and weaknesses all compliment one another. Also, I have a week to strengthen each of your individual abilities. But if one of you feel doubt, and don't wish to participate in the exams, then don't. But you must enter as a team. Everyone, or no one. I'll let you discuss your decision."

He walked away, and we all glanced at each other. "I think we should participate," I say. If father found out I had the chance to take the chunin exams and didn't, he would be enraged.

Daisuke looked unsure. Shun leaned back and closed his eyes in contemplation. "Normally I'd jump at an opportunity like this, but I feel as though we aren't ready for this..." Daisuke trailed off.

"Pros and cons," Shun jumped in. "Pros...?"

"We become chunin," Daisuke said.

"IF we pass," I intervene. They nodded their agreement. "If we make it far enough, we'll also be recognized by powerful figures," I add.

"We'll become stronger," Shun adds.

"If we don't die," Daisuke mutters glumly.

We glance at each other. "Shun, your one of the fastest genin I know. Daisuke, I can trust you to pull through no matter what," I say quietly.

Shun smiles and Daisuke laughs, rubbing his nose just below the bandage. Shun means forward slightly. "Daisuke, you're someone who'll rush in and get us killed," Shun said seriously, "but I can't think of anyone if rather have at my back. You'll sacrifice anything for us. Fuzen," he smiles lightly, "you're the most skilled genin I know when I comes to genjutsu."

I feel a smile spread across my face. "My turn!" Daisuke shouts. "Shun, you might not act like it, but you care. You're one of the best people I know when it comes to accuracy... And patience," he laughs shortly.

"Fuzen," he turns to me, and a smile comes unbidden to my face, "you're levelheaded but still pack a punch. I know we can trust you when it comes to noticing a trap or genjutsu. Not to mention you're beautiful."

I smile, but underneath all the guilt comes rushing back. They thought everything was perfectly fine. It was far from that. I felt like I was betraying them, their trust. One more meal, Fuzen, I remind myself.

"Let's put it to a vote, then," Shun says. He pulls out a piece of paper and rips it into thirds. "Give it to Sensei when you're done," he orders. We nod.

I pull out a small pencil I kept in my ninja pouch and prepared to write down my answer. I hesitated. Were we really ready for this? Furrowing my brow, I slowly scratch down my answer and walked over to Sensei, giving it to him.

He doesn't look at it, waiting for Shun and Daisuke. He received their votes then shuffled the papers. Holding one up in his gloved hand, he cleared his throat. "One vote: Yes." He said. Holding up the next one, "Second vote: Yes." We waited impatiently for the last vote. "Last vote: No. ..

My heart sinks slightly and I close my eyes. "Wait, that was scratched out, sorry. It's a yes."

We look around at each other. "Chunin exams, here we come!" Daisuke exclaimed excitedly.

Sensei smiles, a light of nostalgia entering his eyes. "I remember taking these exams. I only took it with one other teammate, ha! We--" he broke off sadly. "Never mind, it doesn't matter," he gazes at us proudly. "Well, I have one week to prepare you." We all groan slightly as we envision what he would put us through to prepare us in such a short amount if time.

"Ready for hell?"

________________________

GAH It's been a while since I've update :/

CHUNIN EXAMS CHUNIN EXAMS!!! WHO'S PUMPED?!?

HAha, I am :3

Sooooooo, @supermassiveblckhole and I made a joint account, @Insomniac_Lullabies ! We've posted a Naruto fanfic there, called, The Frailty of Genius. Check it out for me?

Comment! Vote!

Bye!

gaara119