Blurry images slowly cleared as I slowly sat upright. I held my pounding head in my hands. "W-What happened?" I asked my concerned teammates. Sensei leaned back on his heels, biting his thumb nail in thought.

I noticed him reassessing me, his blue eyes capturing every detail. I squirmed under his gaze, feeling as though I've somehow done wrong. "Exhaustion," He announced. Daisuke and Shun studied me, noticing the bags under my eyes, the way my hands shook, my shoulders slumped, unable to carry the weight of life.

"Haven't you been sleeping?" Sensei asked.

I avoided his gaze. "Yeah," I spoke softly, trembling. "Of course I have,"

"How long? How long each night have you slept?" Sensei inquires.

"I..." I look for a way out and see nothing. "Three to five hours," I whispered.

Sensei scrutinized me again. "Training is done for this afternoon. Let's go get something to eat. Where do you guys want to go?" He asked, "My treat,"

"Fuji Yama!" Shun exclaimed, then blushed slightly. "I mean, Fuji Yama sounds good," Daisuke nods his agreement. Daisuke helps me to my feet, and Shun hands me a water bottle. I smile to the two of them, then we begin to travel towards the restaurant.

We entered, and were quickly seated. A waitress comes over, taking our orders quickly.The chef come out, placing noodle, rice, eggs, vegetables, and meat in front of the grill, and began to cook it in front of us.

I squeeze my eyes shut at the thick smell of food, my head spinning slightly as I breathe in my hunger. A plate is set in front of me, and I look up into the smiling eyes of the cook. The chef walks away, leaving just my teammates at the table.

"Eat up! We did go here for you, after all, Fuzen," Sensei smiles. "Gotta get some food in you after fainting like that. Eat up,"

I stared at him, then dropped my eyes down to my plate. Within his caring words was a challenge, and just the hint of a threat. I could feel it. I reach for my chopsticks, grabbing some noodles and hovering them before my mouth.

After a long delay, my chopsticks clatter down onto my plate. "I don't want to," I declared quietly.

"Why not?" Daisuke asked, a noodle hanging from his mouth.

"Because I don't want to!" I cried out, voice cracking. "Because I want... I want everyone to like me,"

"But we do like you," Shun told me.

"I want everyone  to like me!" I hissed.

"Well, that right there is impossible! Someone out there, no matter what, will always dislike you!" Shun shouted, slamming his hand on the table. Everyone stared at him in shock. I lowered my head as he averted his gaze. "Are we not enough? Is us liking you not good enough?" He asks quietly.

"No, I..." I trail off, unsure of myself.

"Why don't you eat?" Sensei interrogated, a stern and disappointed expression on his face.

I clutch my arms to myself, rocking slightly. "I want to be beautiful, perfect," I whisper, "I want to be better at being a ninja, too,"

"You can't be a good ninja if you're starving yourself," Sensei told me. "You'll grow weaker and weaker until you become an utter failure,"

"I'm not starving myself!" I deny quickly, his words stinging with the truth, "I just skip a meal now and then--"

"Which leads to skipping meals for day which leads to you throwing up whatever food you do consume," Sensei sighed. "If you want to be a better ninja, you won't take this path,"

I dropped my gaze to the table. "I just wanted to be beautiful," I whisper.

Daisuke looks up. "But don't you see? You already are beautiful. But right now you are so ugly," I stiffen, eyes widening. "Because you're unhappy. You're beautiful when your  happy, it shines through, you smile and laugh more. I mean, you're always physically beautiful, but when you're happy, something shines through, turning you into a radiant beauty," 

Tears well up in my eyes, but I hold them at bay with a well practiced tilt of my head.. He was being completely honest, you could tell. He thought I was beautiful. Impossible... 

"Fuzen, you need to start eating," Sensei ordered. I hesitated, then pressed my mouth together and shook my head frantically. "Fuzen," There was a warning in his voice, something that told me if I crossed him... the consequences could be severe.

Unhappily, I picked up my chop sticks, scooping up some noodles. "Fuzen, you don't need to starve yourself," Sensei smiled, sadness in his eyes.

"You already are beautiful," Daisuke grinned cheekily.

"And we love and care for you," Shun finished quietly.

Carried by their support, I get over my embarrassment and place the noodles in my mouth. Daisuke lets out an idiotic cheer, and I roll my eyes at him, scooping more food into my mouth. It was strange: The more food I ate, the hungrier I got, as though my stomach was now remembering that it should be filled with food.

By the time I was halfway done with my plate I felt sick, and pushed it away, clutching at my stomach. "Yum," I moan weakly, leaning back against the padded booth. I felt myself nodding off, a slight smile on my face as I feel... content, for the first time in a while.

I doze, everything becoming muffled around me as I slip into a light sleep. I was slightly aware of everything, but it felt like a dream. I could tell it was time to leave, but I wanted to sleep longer. I turned over on my side, curling up in s tight, protective ball as I did every night.

I heard Daisuke tease, "Look at her, curled all tight. There's a fierce look on her face, as though she's fighting to sleep," he laughed, "Now. how should we wake her up?" I could practically see the evil expression on his face.

"No, we let her sleep," I hear Sensei order. I feel strong arms pick me up, and I curled into the chest of whoever it was. We walk out into the now dark evening, the long, rhythmic strides lulling me deeper into my sleep.

I hear Shun and Daisuke bid their farewells. Sensei shifts me around, then I hear a knock. "I can stand," I murmur groggily, not even bothering to open my eyes. 

"It's fine; just sleep," He whispered to me. The door opened, revealing my Father and Mother. 

"What happened?" Father immediately asked, embarrassment coloring his voice.

"She fainted. From exhaustion," Their was the slightest accusation in his tone of voice.

"Fuzen. Get up," Father ordered sharply. My body reacted before my mind did, pushing myself out of Sensei's grasp. There's the brief sensation of falling, then my knees hit the hard concrete.  I open my eye blearily, pushing myself upright. 

There was a sudden thud as Sensei is pinned against the side of the house. I shake my head, unable to keep up with the rapid series of events. Hideaki had her forearm against Sensei's throat. His hands were in the air, showing his compliance.

"What did you do, you bastard?" She snarled at him. His eyes narrowed.

"I could be asking you  the same," He hissed. "I didn't do anything. Fuzen fainted from exhaustion even though I've made sure not to push them to hard," 

Hideaki slowly released him. "I apologize for my behavior," She said stiffly. She grabbed me by my hand, dragging me inside the house as Father talks quietly to Sensei. She took me to my room, undressing and dressing me. She set me on my bed, taking out a hair brush and stroking it through my hair slowly.

We used to do this every night. But we haven't done it regularly since I was five and she was nine, which was when she graduated from the academy. She had gotten too busy. I slowly fell asleep to her gentle strokes, and she leaned me back as she finished.

I don't know if I was dreaming by now or not, but I thought I felt her kiss my forehead and gently whisper, "I'm sorry, Fuzen,"

***

I wake in the middle of the night, glancing at the time. Two a.m. I yawn, then pad over to the desk. I pull out a purple and grey journal. My sister had given it to me when I was nine, telling me that, "When life is hard and no one's there to listen to you, this will be here for you to write in,"

There was only one entry from me in there. "Dear Diary, it's been another hard day at school..." Sighing, I flip to a new page, pen hovering over the paper.

"Dear Diary,

Can't someone tell me why everyone is so fucking perfect, while I'm sitting here in pain, feeling completely and utterly worthless? They look so happy, and I feel like shit. And I've come to believe the world that I'm in, with all the girls with perfect bodies, perfect lives, perfect everything. I would kill to live their lives.

I'm trying to lose weight. Over the past couple of weeks, I've been skipping meals, considering throwing up the few times that I actually eat. Half the time I just sit here, wondering if it's even worth it. Worth the effort. Worth the pain. Worth anything at all.

Mom hits me. Kids tease me. Life hates me. I'm worse then everyone. So I keep losing weight. I'm just trying to be perfect. You can understand that, right? Just wanting so desperately to be perfect? But perfection is something that feels so unattainable. But I have to be able to reach it; everyone around me seems to have. I'm honestly just waiting for someone to show me that I'm worth something.

Worth anything. Anything at all.

Sincerely,

Imperfectly Perfect"

And the tears finally escaped my eyes.

_____________________________________________

TT.TT *chokes down sob*

@supermassiveblckhole (you should REALLY follow her! XD) will be writing the author's note.

MUAHHAHAHA, I HAVE KIDNAPPED GAARA119 AND TAKEN HER TO A FAR FAR AWAY LAND. YOU WILL NEVER FIND HER AND SHE WILL NEVER WRITE FOR YOU AGAIN, BAHAHA. I AM BOWSER! Actually, hey guys, it's supermassiveblckhole. I stole bowser from mariokart c: gosh, now i feel like a nerd. Poor Fuzen, you guys are REALLY going to hate gaara119 when you find out her real intentions for this story. I GOTCHU GUYS. I have already announced her to be decapitated. A punishment of behead-ment sounds fit for the situation, does it now? BAHAHA, (OH NO BOWSER IS TAKING CONTROL AGAIN) (I THINK I'M TALKING TO MYSELF I'M INSANE) *Back to Bowser mode BAHAHAHAAA I WILL FORCE GAARA119 TO WRITE ONLY FOR ME AND NOT FOR ANY OF YOU. THIS ACCOUNT IS MINE NOW, ALL OF YOU GORBELLIED FOLLY-FALLEN GIGLETS, DEAL WITH IT. (Don't criticize my love for shakespeare insults people :3)  NOW, OFF WITH YOUR MAMMERING HEDGE-BORN HUGGER-MUGGER HEADS! good day. <3    

Hi, gaara119 back... wow.... *shakes head* always new she was crazy.   well, you can thank supermassiveblckhole for the update! She kept me up reeeaaally late by threatening to behead me if I don't update -_- SO THANK HER!

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gaara119