NEGAN'S POV
☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝

I wasn't able to sleep that night. Carl was so mad he left. He's never done that before. He's never even been fucking mad at me at all.

It hurt, I'm not going to deny that, it hurt bad. But I can understand why Carl's mad. I'm not ashamed of us. Not one little fucking bit.

I was just afraid that if people found out they wouldn't take me seriously. Those people need to know I'm still Negan and I'm still in charge, and if they fuck up there are concaquences.

But all of that aside, I wanted Carl back. My bed was cold without him clinging onto me all night.

I sighed and got dressed. I wore the usual. Plain white t-shirt, jeans and leather jacket. Lucille was leaned against the wall next to the door.

I grabbed her just as I was walking out of my room. I closed the door behind me. As soon as I looked up I saw Carl walking out of his room. If he saw me, he didn't look at me, he just kept on walking.

I sighed and walked a good 10 feet behind him. I didn't know how I was gonna make this right. All I knew was I had to make it right.

I walked to the shop area and looked over my people. As soon as they saw me they got on their knees.

I don't have anything to say, so I kept walking. I walked outside of the compound. I needed to !make it right. I need to make it right. I need to make it right.

I kept telling myself that over and over. I was gonna drive myself fucking insane.

I needed Carl in my life. I couldn't lose him. Not after almost losing him.

---

It was about six and I knew Carl was in his room, because that was around the time he usually came to my room.

I aproched his door slightly nervous. Why the fuck was I scared? He's 16 for fuck's sake.

I knocked.

"Go away." Carl's voice demanded. He sounded like he had been crying. I did that to him.. I hurt him.

"Carl.. Please let me in.." I had to stop my voice from creaking. I heard slow shuffling then the door opened.

Carl's face was ted and puffy. My throat clenched.

"You have five minutes." Carl said as I walked in, he closed the door behind me. Carl turned to face me.

I took a deep breath.

"I'm not ashamed of us... Not at all." I said. Carl didn't look like he believe a word I was saying.

"I need the people here to take met seriously. So I can keep their sorry asses alive... I didn't say anything yesterday because I didn't want to sound like a power hungry douch bag.." I explained.

Carl's gaze seemed to soften, but then instantly hardened once more. "Just go.." He mumbled.

"Carl.. Please. I can't lose you.." I murmured, tears threatening to fall.

Carl's jaw tightened. "Why?" He almost growled.

"B-because I... I love you baby boy.."