imperfect parenting.   chapter two

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"Okay, guys, we need to talk babysitting," Ariana said as she followed, Noah, Lina, and Jac to a picnic table outside. "I'll need help Thursday because all the paralegals are going out to karaoke. Just kidding. We're staying late to file."

"On Thursday, I'm busy. I got to 'Gram my new Yeezys," Jac pushed her stroller to the end of the table. 

"You're a ridiculous person," Noah looked at her.

"Thanks, man!" Jac smiled.

"Well, at least she doesn't eat steak with the same pasty old white guys night after night," Lina tilted her head, defending Jac.

"We're not pasty old white guys. We're dermatologists saving the lives of pasty old white guys," Noah sat down across from Lina, ignoring her smile.

"Hey, guys, I need some help," Ariana held a piece of paper in front of her. "Found this in Luke's backpack."

"Aww, Luke wrote a love letter," Lina said as Ariana handed it to her.

"Aww," Jac added.

"Oh, no, to Anna?" Lina's smile quickly turned into a look of fear.

"Yes."

"That girl who always wears bunny ears? She's crazy! She runs the school," Lina stated.

"I don't know what I'll do if she breaks his heart," Ariana sighed. "Leia never gives me this much stress."

"Oh, God, the new guy," Noah saw Jared from the door, talking to some other parents. "We have got to deal with him."

"Yeah, I've got no time to be handing out tacos all year," Ariana sighed as she slid her son's love letter into her purse.

"Word," Jac shuddered.

"I'm still in awe of how you did away with last year's Room Parent," Lina said. "You wiped all trace of us from that phone tree."

"It's kind of my thing," Ariana beamed.

"Parents!" Noah jumped at the voice of Jared. "I just wanted to, uh, circle back and see where we are via committees.

"You know what?" Noah said, pulling out his phone and checking his messages. "Let me say it plain and simple."

Lina interrupted. "We're not gonna do anything you want us to do."

"Nah, man," Jac added with the shake of her head.

"We're single parents," Ariana tried to reason. "We don't volunteer. We just try and survive until a time in the day when it's appropriate to open wine," she smiled.

"I'm single, as well," Jared said. "I have no wiggle room on parent participation."

"You're in deep, aren't you?" Ariana stood up and stepped closer to him.

"Deep in what?" Jared held his clipboard close to his chest.

"The Vortex. That place where you're so wrapped up in your kid that you've lost all touch with your adult life and the person you used to be," Ariana explained. "I know, 'cause I've been there, It happens to all of us."

Jared chuckled. "I don't think I'm in a vortex."

"When was the last time you stayed up past 10:00?" Noah asked, eyes still on his phone.

"In the nighttime?"

"Okay, when's the last time you made love?" Lina asked.

"Oh, my."

"It's okay," Lina smiled calmly. "There's no judgment here. This is a safe space."

"Yeah, for real," Jac added.

"Yeah, just tell us," Ariana tilted her head.

"Yeah?" Jared asked.

"Just ballpark," Lina said.

"All right, ballpark, give or take a month, it's been about five years."

"Oh, baby, no," Lina closed her eyes shut.

"Whoo!" Ariana and Jac shouted. "Dang!"

"Oh, my God," Noah said.

"You guys said that this was a safe space," Jared whined.

"Not that safe," Jac pushed her baby stroller to the other side of the table.

"You know, what you need is a date," Ariana said. "There's this single mother I work with and I think you guys would be a great match."

"No, he needs casualties right now, not a perfect match," Noah argued. "Teach him how to rebound."

"Why don't you teach him?" Jac asked.

"Why me?"

"You're the only other male here, dumbass," Lina flicked her fingers on his forehead. "How about we make him a Tinder account?"

"That sounds great," Ariana said with a smile as Jac nodded.

"Do I actually have a say in this?" Jared asked.

"With these ladies?" Noah chuckled. "Never. As much as I would like to stick around for this, I got to get to work."

"Boo you whore," Jac said. Noah smiled, ruffling her hair before walking away.

"Hey, there's that single mother I said I worked with, let me go say hi while you fix up his Tinder," Ariana stood up from the table.

"See if she'll help us! We'll need all the help we can get," Lina snickered, never once looking up from her phone. "Don't worry, Jared. We're just picking on you."

"Oh, she's pretty," Jac pointed at one of the girls on the screen. Lina and Jared looked at her. "What? I may be straight but I'm not blind."

"Jac's right, she's pretty and she just matched with you. What do you say?" Lina wiggled her eyebrows.

"If I'm being honest, the timing's not great. It's 120 days till Christmas--"

"Are you gonna hide behind that sign-up sheet or am I swiping?" Lina cut him off.

"I've got Room Parent responsibilities--"

"Come on! Swipe!" Jac cut him off.

"I've never done something like this before, okay?" Jared said.

"Oh, we know," Jac smiled before chanting. "Swipe! Swipe! Swipe!"

"You know what? Do it. Swipe left!"

"It's swipe right," Lina corrected.

"Sorry."

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noteshort filler chapter! hopefully this distracts u in the middle of a hard week!