imperfect parenting.   chapter three

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"We got Nora, we got Natalie, we got Emmery, we got Adam, we got Luke, we got Leia," Ariana counted all the kids in her car. "Who are you?" she pointed to a random kid sitting in between her kids. "Wrong van, kid. Get out of here. Beat it." she said, waiting for the kid to unbuckle himself and leave the van.

The blonde girl sitting in her passenger seat giggled. "It's just a lost kid."

"Not my responsibility, Emma," Ariana smiled at her friend.

"Ariana! Hey! Jared from yesterday," Jared came over to the window of the passenger side and waved. Ariana waved. "So, tonight's date night."

"Ooh, remember, a real man pays for dinner."

"Oh," Jared nodded.

"Jared, I say this with an open heart and nothing but love - you're a disaster. Also, this is my friend from work, Emma," Ariana pointed to the pretty blonde, who giggled and waved. "She's a single parent just like us, and yet somehow, she finds time to date. Unbelievable."

"Oh, uh, nice to meet you, Emma," Jared waved before turning to Ariana. "I don't know if I'm a disaster. I mean, yes, I'm experiencing some anxiety, but that's normal, okay? And I'm just Jared."

"We got you the date, and now I have to babysit everyone else's kids so I can have a Saturday night to drink champagne out of a can and watch a bird documentary," Ariana said, putting her seat belt on and taking her car out of parking. "I'll be at your house later, amigo!" she sped off. 

"Yo, why did you bring your baby to the sneaker line?" one of Jac's buddies asked her as she rocked her infant in her arms.

"'Cause free babysitting doesn't just fall out of the sky," Jac scoffed. Her cell phone rang, and she managed to answer the text with one of her hands. "Oh, snap! Free babysitting! All right! I'll be right back!" Jac stood up from the sidewalk and grabbed her baby's things. "Hold my spot!"

"Hey!" Jared answered the door to Ariana, all the kids she was babysitting, Emma, and Jac.

"I hope you don't mind me bringing Emma along," Ariana smiled. "We were both bored."

"Do you guys want to go play in my room?" Jenny interrupted, asking the other kids. "The theme is 'tasteful unicorn'."

"Good God," Ariana found herself saying aloud as she followed the kids in. "This place is a wonderland. Every chair is a beanbag. There's no chair that isn't a bean bag. All chairs currently have beans," she turned to Emma with wide eyes.

"Indoor trampoline?" Emma pointed to the trampoline in the centre of the room.

"Jenny likes to bounce, even when it's raining," Jared explained. 

Jac closed the door shut. "Jared, sit down," Ariana ordered. He sat down on a beanbag. "What are you gonna wear on your date tonight?"

"This?" he said, but it sounded more like a question.

Emma chuckled. "He's serious," Ariana told her, which only made her laugh more.

"Or," Jared started unzipping the pants around his knees. "I do have another option."

"Ah!" Jac jumped back, noticing how he stood up and was unzipping, but that's just how Jac's mind works anyway. Jac's baby started crying. "Y-Your pants are making my baby cry, man! Make it stop."

"Here," Jared opened his arms and Jac placed her baby with him. "I know, I know," he cooed before rocking the baby a couple times, and the crying stopped. "There we go."

"Oh, my God," Emma smiled. "What did you do?"

"It's a little something I call Rock, squat, pause," Jared beamed.

Jac looked confused. "Did you say "puss"?"

"No."

"Puzz?"

"Listen," he explained. "Rock, squat, pause. Puh. Pause."

"Oh, pause!" Jac nodded.

"Say it with me," Jared said.

"Nah man, never. What if I learn to do that and then I haven't had sex in five years and I'm wearing pants that zip off into shorts? Give me my baby," Jac ordered.

"You guys, you're right," Jared frowned. "I-I I'm clearly not ready, okay? I-I say we put the brakes on the date tonight, okay, just until after Taco Tuesday's figured out. I want to keep that guac from browning."

"No, no. Focus," Emma placed a hand on Jared's shoulder. "Take a deep breath."

"You're going on this date," Ariana said harshly as Jared took a sharp breath.

"Yeah, Jared. We're excited for you!" Emma enthusiastically made a fist and swung her arm while smiling.

"Hey, so just making sure, you're gonna be taking Nora and Natalie tonight? Because I'm getting together with my dermatologist pals," Noah asked Lina.

Lina nodded. "Oh, Adam wanted me to ask you to come to his dance party tonight. Ariana and I are co-babysitting at my place, and all his best buddies will be there."

"Aww, what a sweetheart," Noah smiled. "Pass."

Lina sighed. "I told you, he's going through a thing. He won't even wear his favourite leotard to school, 'cause he's scared other kids will make fun of him."

"Well, of course they're gonna make fun of him. When I was a boy, I got beaten up for smiling at a basketball game."

Lina placed the bottle of wine she was trying to open for a customer to the side. Placing her palms on the counter as she leaned over, she took a deep breath, meaning she was serious. "All right, look. I don't know why, but my kid likes you, okay? And in case you haven't noticed, he doesn't have another man in his life, so why don't you just show up for him?"

Noah shrugged like there was nothing he could do about it. "I don't dance, okay, especially with guys," he paused. "You know, I still can't wrap my head around this place," he looked around in reference to the wine bar slash library that Lina owned and managed. "Why does every book have to be on yoga and menopause?"

"Noah, you are why we march."

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