Song for chapter: Million Reasons ~ Lady Gaga

SAGE

"Hey, it's Joanna. Leave me a message or send me a text if you need a quick response. Bye!"

I impatiently wait for the beep even though it doesn't take that long. "Hey, I've sent you a few text messages...I'm starting to feel like a stalker." A nervous chuckle escapes me as I rub my forehead. "No, but I'm starting to get worried. I've even called Oli but she's not answering either. Why do I get the feeling you're both avoiding me?" I let out a frustrated sigh. "Please call me, Joanna."

She left without saying goodbye. I admit the phone call with Birdie took much longer than I would have liked— she insisted on going over a custody schedule because she was going to be going back to LA within the next week.

After a lot of back and forth, I finally said his schedule during the school year shouldn't be disrupted, but I would be open to him spending summer vacation with her even though it kills me to imagine being away from him for that long. She said she'd double check with her agent on any upcoming events she has going on and get back to me.

Birdie's snarky comment about giving me alone time with my new girlfriend if it lasted until then replays in my mind.

Once I mentioned bringing in our lawyers as mediators between us, she backed down, saying she didn't want anyone to catch wind of this whole thing and run away with it. I regret following her advice on not involving them from the get-go more than anything now.

I also realize I should have told Joanna sooner about Birdie and what it could mean for us...mostly for her and the very real possibility that her life and her family's lives will be scrutinized unfairly.

The reality of the situation sends my blood pressure through the roof. Closing my eyes, I take a few deep breaths to calm myself, focusing on not going off the deep end, I lean back into my chair in my office.

"Dad?"

I sit up and find Obie standing in the doorway of my office. "Hey, bud, what's up?" Smiling, hoping to appear unbothered.

"Do you think I could invite Camila over to hang out sometime? Like we could play video games or watch a movie or something. Or maybe you could take us to the mall and we could go to the arcade?"

I knew this day would come one day, I just wish it wasn't so soon. Leaning back in my chair, I observe my son, and smile. "I think I should meet her parents first then we can go from there."

Obie nods. "Yeah, JoJo said the same thing this morning, too." My heart pings a little at the mention of her name.

"Dad?" I look back at him and he's wringing his hands in front of himself and then he shifts on his feet, biting his lower lip. "I think I made JoJo upset this morning...I uh, I kinda told JoJo mom didn't like you dating her." He looks down at his hands. While I try to control my anger, learning Birdie's sharing her feelings about me and Joanna to him.

I stand to approach Obie. "There are certain things parents should only talk about with adults and others that are okay to talk about with you. Your mom might not be happy about me dating, but she shouldn't bring that up with you. I'm sorry for that, but this isn't your fault."

He looks up at me and a pinkness surrounds his eyes, just like whenever he cries. "But I could tell JoJo was upset after I told her and she saw your wedding picture I have and then left so fast."

I pull him into a hug, sighing in relief, understanding what happened, but also realizing Joanna may be more upset than I thought. I run my hand through his curls and lift his face towards mine. "This isn't your fault. I should have talked to Joanna about who your mom is and how she feels." I exhale out a long breath. "Listen, ask Camila for her parents number and I'll reach out to them next week, okay?"

His hopeful eyes look back at me. "Thanks, Dad. You're the best."

I smile and then look at him more thoughtfully. "Aside from how she feels about me dating, are things going okay with you and your mom?"

"I guess. Better than in the beginning, it was just...weird you know?" I nod and then he continues. "She travels a lot. So, it's been cool to see pics of where she's been."

Nodding, I place my hands in my pockets. "What are your feelings about spending the summer with her?"

His eyebrows scrunch in confusion. "What about our trip to Mexico?"

I smile. "We haven't really decided on that. But we can go later on, during fall break or winter break. It might be better actually, considering most tourists travel during the summer months anyway. Might be nice to get away from the cold in the winter and be on a beach, don't you think?"

"I guess so," he says solemnly and trudges over to a chair in my office and slumps down, resting his chin on his hands. "You're wrong, Dad. This is all my fault."

"What are you talking about Obie?"

He runs his hand through his hair and I chuckle when his fingers get stuck in his curls. "For the longest time, I wished mom would come back and now she is but...it-it's like she doesn't fit, which doesn't make sense to me. Why do things have to change?"

I exhale loudly. "Change is a part of life, Obie. Take it from someone who doesn't handle it well even as an adult." I sit across from him. "But change can be good too."

Obie snorts.

"You don't think so?"

He leans back, folding his arms and shakes his head.

"Well, not that long ago you thought girls had germs and you didn't want anything to do with them. And now look at you. Learning to speak Spanish just to talk to a girl." 

His face reddens and he fails at hiding his smile, shaking his head in embarrassment.

"Change helps us grow, Obie. Even when we're not ready for it. Your mom..." I sigh again. "Your mom is trying to figure this out, too. And mistakes are going to be made. But she is your mom and I know she wants what's best for you." Praying internally, that she actually does.

"What about JoJo?"

"What about her?"

"Am I too much for her?" He asks with sadness on his face.

I think about the best way to answer him so he understands at his age. "I'm sure she didn't plan on becoming involved with someone who has a child, but I can tell you she's crazy about you," I tell him. My phone rings and I take it out of my pocket.

"Is it JoJo?"

I look up at Obie, smiling and nod. "Will you tell me what she says, please?"

"That depends, Obie."

He waves his hand at me, nodding. "Yeah, yeah, grownup stuff. Just tell her I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make her upset." I watch him walk out before answering the call.

"Joanna."

"Hey, sorry, I just got busy running errands." She sounds stuffy.

"Have you been crying?"

Her shaky breathing comes through the phone clear, but she denies it. "No, I think it's allergies, it's getting to be that time of year." Not really, spring is still three weeks away.

"Joanna, I know I should have told you about the argument I had with Birdie about us, and not that it's an excuse, I just didn't want to scare you away."

"Should I be scared?"

I shake my head and then rub my forehead. "No. That's not what I mean. I'm saying it can be a lot to get involved with me, Obie and now my ex."

"I was aware of that before you and I became more, Sage. But...maybe this is kind of a wake up call you know..."

My heart is in my throat. "No, Joanna. Just because she shows up after all this time doesn't give her the right to tell me what I can and can't do when it comes to my love life. She's lucky I even listened to her concerns considering she abandoned Obie." I pause, knowing I'm on the verge of losing it and take a breath in before I continue. "I know it's unfair for you to have to deal with all this drama."

"I'm not saying it's not a lot, because it is, but honestly when I'm with you it doesn't feel like that. I don't care about all of that, Sage. It's about..." She pauses and mutters under breath. I can picture her hand on her face, forehead or neck the way she has a habit of doing. "There's something I have to tell you—"

"Joanna!" Oli's shout comes through the phone.

"I'm on the phone, Oli—"

"I know, but it's your mom...it's abuelita, they rushed her to the hospital!"

"Sage, I gotta go. I'll call you later."

"Wait, I can head over there—"

"No, don't worry. Call you later." She hangs up and I sit there for a moment processing everything. Confusion overtakes me as I replay the conversation.

What did she want to tell me? Did she remember what she said that night?

_______________

A few hours later and a phone call from Oli, I rush through the hospital doors, my eyes searching up and down the hallway and then see Oli. She looks up when she hears me running toward her.

She gives me a hug and I nod at Joanna's brothers who nod back at me solemnly in greeting.

"Coach, thanks for coming. It's not good. Abuelita Rosita took a turn for the worse."

Joanna's mom had rushed their grandmother to the hospital after complaining of not being able to breathe and having chest pain. The cold that she's had for a few weeks has worsened and when she arrived the doctors said she's developed severe pneumonia.

"Where's Joanna?"

"She's with her mom getting coffee. The doctors aren't too optimistic considering abuelita's age," Oli says with her eyes cast down. We look up when a door opens and Joanna walks out with her mom.

Pepita greets me with a hug and I kiss her cheek, expressing my sympathy and she cups my face with tears in her eyes before she walks to be with her other children. 

I turn back to Joanna taking in her swollen puffy face. Her chin quivers as she looks back at me and I bring her into my arms, her quiet sobs are muffled against my chest.

"I'm here, Joanna." I croon. Her fingers grip on to my jacket and she buries herself into me more. I lead her back into the sitting area and not caring how it looks I bring her onto my lap.

"I don't think she's going to make it, Sage." She whispers with shuddering breaths following. "I know it's part of life...but it's still hard realizing it's sooner than later." I squeeze my arms around her and begin stroking her back and running my fingers through her hair.

"Where's Obie?"

"Home."

"It's late, he shouldn't be alone." She tells me, skimming her fingers along my chin and jaw as she rests her head on my shoulder.

"I sent Mei a message to check on him for me, I'm here as long as you need me."

She lifts her head away and looks back at me, her lashes are wet behind her glasses. "I appreciate that, but you need to be home with Obie."

"Joanna, let me be here for you like you've been for me." I hold her chin and then kiss her softly, but then my damn phone rings. I groan when I see it's Birdie. 

Joanna attempts to shift off my lap when she sees her name, too, but I hold on to her to keep her from moving away.

"What is it?" I address Birdie.

"Why is Obie home alone at ten o'clock at night?"

I look up at the ceiling not believing this bullshit. "He's twelve years old, not one. And I'm sure he told you exactly where I am. Why are you texting him this late, anyway?"

"You didn't answer your phone. But tell me, how do you think it's going to look when I tell a judge you let strangers take care of our son, while you're out probably fucking your girlfriend?"

I become rigid and this time, I don't stop Joanna from moving away and she takes a seat next to me instead. "What the hell is wrong with you? Mei is not a stranger. She's more family than you are." I grit out, struggling to keep my voice down.

"Are you willing to risk losing Obie on that belief?" Birdie asks and then she chuckles when I don't respond. "Didn't think so. I'm going to go pick him up."

I stand. "The hell you are!" 

Joanna's family looks over at me with my outburst. "I'm warning you, Birdie. Don't do something you'll regret." She hangs up in response.

"What's happened?" Joanna asks her hand on my arm.

"She's going to take Obie."

A doctor walks out, and everyone focuses on her. "Lozano family?"

Pepita walks quickly to her. Recognizing the grim look on the doctor's face I know whatever she's going to share is not good. My phone rings and this time it's Mei. Feeling torn and hating how things are so convoluted I grit my teeth.

"You need to go, Sage," Joanna tells me as my phone continues to ring.

"I want to stay—"

She shakes her head. "No. Obie needs you, go. Go."

I kiss her head and she turns away to be with her family as the doctor begins talking to them. When I come to the sliding doors to the emergency entrance, Pepita's wails and cries reach me. I watch her sons keep her from collapsing.

My phone rings again and I answer it looking out toward the exit. "I'm on my way..." My words fade as I come face to face with Manny, holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand. We stand there staring at each other for what seems like an eternity when Obie's voice breaks my focus.

"Dad! Mom called, she said she's coming to get me. She sounds angry. Mei told her she couldn't take me unless you're okay with it, but I don't want to go with mom, either."

Manny brushes past me. I turn, watching as he inserts himself easily with the grieving family. I look on helpless as he envelops Joanna into an embrace.

"Dad!"

I grind my teeth. "I'll be there in ten minutes, don't answer the door if she gets there before I do."