Song for chapter: Perro Fiel ~ Shakira ft. Nicky Jam

JOANNA

The last week has gone by quickly.

There are only three weeks left of the bootcamp which is crazy considering it felt like the end couldn't come fast enough in the beginning.

Things between Sage and I have been...nice. Different but nice. He hasn't mentioned anything about going out again or his feelings for me and...I don't know how I feel about that, honestly. But I'm thankful there isn't any awkwardness between us.

In fact, it's the opposite. Talking with him each day has been great---like we've known each other longer than five weeks. Our conversations range from anything and everything during our sessions. He fits in well with our group and carries conversations with everyone when there's extra time.

He updated me on how it went with Obie and his ex-wife, who he refers to as 'B'. I figure it's a nickname between them...maybe a term of endearment.

Anyway, after the understandable initial uncertainty, Obie's natural chattiness led him to open up with his mom and they've decided to meet a couple of times a week to get to know each other better. Nothing's been decided on custody arrangements, but he's meeting with a lawyer to make sure things are done properly.

Recalling that day Sage drove me to work the morning after I spent the night, he had this smile on his face that stayed the entire drive.

Mark happened to be walking into the building and stopped when he saw me stepping out of Sage's jeep after Sage opened the door.

"Friend?"

"Friendly co-worker," I explained, waving at Mark, who returned the gesture with uncertainty.

"He seems like a nice guy."

I turned back to Sage. "He is."

"Looks like he's waiting for you." He nodded and lifted his hand in acknowledgement to Mark as well. 

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Sage laughed. "It's not supposed to mean anything. He looks like a cool dude."

"Okay..." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Anyway, hope you have a great day, Joanna. See you in the morning."

And since that day things have been different, but not awkward or weird, just...nice. He's the same mostly but different, too. I can't quite put my finger on it.

"Joanna, get your head in this. Focus." Sage's voice brings me to the present, back to the squats I'm about to do. I'm doing a heavier weight than I'm used to; he says I'm ready.

"You've got this, girl." Oli claps her hands.

I lift the bar with the weights, letting myself adjust to the weight.

Half way through the second round my thighs and butt are on fire. I set the rack back to rest before the final set. 

"I don't think I can do the last set, Coach," I confess, panting and using the towel Oli hands me to dab the sweat on my face.

"Do as many as you can, you're doing great." Sage smiles at me. "Ten seconds left before you hit it again, okay?" I nod, wiping the sweat dripping from my face with my shirt.

"Just think, JoJo, you keep this up and soon you'll be lifting my body weight, which means you can carry me when I get too shit faced to walk."

I laugh. "I think dead weight is different from this, Oli."

"Alright, let's go, Lozano," Sage says. I take a few deep breaths and duck down under the bar lifting it up off the rack. I move back to position myself with Sage standing behind to spot me.

"Deep breath in and go."

I lower down and push back up. "That's it, just like that. Again." I focus on his eyes through the reflections of the mirror we're facing.

"Up, Up, Up." He encourages me after a few more reps. "Thatta girl."

My legs are shaking as I near the last two reps, doubt creeping in. "Eyes on me, Joanna. Come on, let's go." I grunt concentrating on pushing myself up and come to the last rep. "Don't you quit. Come on, last one then you're finished."

I lower down and he comes up closer, ready to take the bar as my legs visibly shake. His intense eyes drill into mine in the reflection as I straighten back up. I walk on trembling legs to the rack and set it down.

"That's my girl." I jump when he lightly taps my ass. "I knew you could do it." He winks, turning away to write the numbers down on a chart he keeps for progress on me and Oli.

I'm physically drained, but I feel energized; my blood pumping through me.

"Way to go, Coach! Great session!" Oli grins, slapping him on the ass and his eyes shift to her slowly.

"Oh." Her eyes widen. "I thought we were doing that now, no? Okay...just you and JoJo, then, got it." She gives him a thumbs up.

I turn away, hiding my smile as I grab a towel to wipe myself down and then clean off the bar.

"Girl, his ass is so tight my hands gonna have a bruise tomorrow," Oli whispers to me. "But seriously, was it me or did it seem like there was double meaning to his words?" She smirks at me.

Okay, so I wasn't imagining it. "Nah, he says the same to you."

"True, but he doesn't look at me, the way he looks at you."

"How's that?" I throw the towel in the nearby hamper, placing my hands on my hips.

"Like he wants to spread you out on on every piece of equipment in here and fuck your brains out."

"Oli! Good grief, woman!" But my face burns as the vivid image she describes flashes in my mind.

She laughs. "You know I ain't lying, prima."

"Lying about what?" Quique and Nati walk up to us, wiping their faces with towels.

"Oh, how Coach wants to—" I slap my hand over Oli's mouth.

"Do more than eye-fuck you?" Quique grins while Nati winks at me. "Girl, why don't you want to give into the primal need of two single attractive people wanting to get it on, even if it's just for fun."

"Because, I'm not ready for that. I've only been with Manny." I chuckle at the look of pity on his face.

"You are underestimating the power of casual sex. Plus, there's only a few weeks left so if it gets weird it's not like you'll see him again. Unless you plan on joining on a permanent basis." He wiggles his thick eyebrows at me.

"Cadets! Gather around!" Joel shouts at us. 

I notice Sage is talking with a woman I've seen coming more frequently during the mornings. His arms are crossed as he talks, nodding his head while they converse. She laughs at one point and rests her hand on his large bicep. He glances down at her hand and then his eyes meet mine.

Shit! I turn my head hoping it wasn't obvious I was staring and focus my attention on Joel. 

"As you know by now, we also like to focus on the psychology behind our mindsets when it comes to finding what keeps us from reaching our goals. Something we like to do near or just after the halfway point is a video challenge with a sketch artist." Sketch artist? "We have a couple of rooms set up for this and ask that you each participate. Also, as a reward and incentive for making it this far we have the crew from Massage Euphoria here for the last hour to give free massages."

Our small group erupts in cheers, whistles and clapping. 

"I've always wanted a professional massage but too chicken to get one, this is the best!" Nati exclaims with joy. "Every time I ask Chuy for a message, he falls asleep ten seconds into it!"

I laugh, "Well, no one deserves a full body massage after you carried and brought the cutest little baby boy into the world, Nati."

"Let's do the video activity first, since everyone is making a run for the massage area." Quique advises.

Twenty minutes later we finish and make our way to the massaging stations where they have the chairs you sit in and lean forward to get a head, neck and back massage and there's another room set up if you want a full body massage where they have several partitions for privacy.

Legs still shaky after the workout, I definitely want the full body massage. My friends and I start heading towards the room when a couple of the workers stop us and begin asking each of us which areas we want to focus on.

"I'm Dylan, I'll be your masseuse today." He holds his hand out to me and I shake it. His green eyes stand out against his black hair.

"I'm Joanna, at your mercy today. My legs haven't stopped shaking from the workout I just did."

His mouth curves into a warm smile. "It'll be my pleasure to take care of you today." He starts leading the way into the room with me following when someone grabs my hand and turns me around.

"Joanna, are you sure you have time for a full body massage? It might be better to focus on your back and neck with the weight you carried, that way you're not late for work too," Sage says with a smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes. Dylan turns back, noticing I'm not following anymore.

"My muscles are screaming after the workout you put me through," I reply and then shrug. "I think being a little late will be worth it." Turning to follow Dylan again, I'm stopped once more with Sage's hand on my shoulder.

"It's just...um." His eyes skirt over to Dylan and then back to me, he leans in to talk in a quieter tone. "Maybe you need someone with more experience...Dylan is fairly new to the crew."

"I'm sure he's more than qualified."

"I assure you, Joanna's in good hands, Coach." Dylan winks at us before I turn back and find the scowl on Sage's face.

"See, I'm in good hands." I smile, tapping his shoulder.

He grunts in response, walking away.

__________

"THAT is exactly what my body needed!" Oli exclaims after we walk out of the room together. I sigh in agreement. 

Dylan instructed me to up my fluid intake more than usual because the massage would break up all the lactic acid and would make me more sore if I didn't flush it out by drinking a lot of water. Commotion on the floor grabs our attention.

"Oli, JoJo, get over here!" Nati beckons us toward the pull up bars.

"What's going on? Is that Coach?" Oli asks and I realize he's one of the people on the bars. He's taken off his thin hoodie, wearing only a cut off tank now.

"The trainers are doing a contest. The two that last the longest, their team gets the day off tomorrow." Quique informs us before he shouts. "Come on Frank! Slow and steady!"

"Oh hell, yeah! Let's go Coach!" Oli screams next to me and pats my arm to join in on the cheering. "Damn, I had no idea he was tatted up!"

Memory of helping him get ready to shower comes to my mind, but I focus back on the competition when a male trainer drops down, cursing. He's holding his forearm, "Got a cramp, damn it!"

A female trainer comes down next.

"How many have they done?" I ask, watching Sage lift himself up with ease. The muscles in his arms and shoulders shift, becoming taunt as he lowers then pulls himself back up.

"They're at fifteen," Nati answers, just as her trainer comes down. "Aw, damn. Good job, Holly!"

Frank drops down next.

"Dammit," Quique groans, his head falling on my shoulder dramatically. A few more trainers fall off and it's down to Joel, Zeke, Sage and Casey.

"You've got this Sage!" It comes out before I can stop myself.

"Sage?" Quique lifts his head off of me and smirks. "Vale, vale." (okay, okay)

Joel falls next and not long after so does Zeke. Oli and I cheer loud when Sage and Casey, the two winners, hop down. Sage fist bumps Casey with a smile. The tank top displays his strong arms that seem bigger now. Oli yanks me forward over to him as she jumps up and down.

"Coach, you rock man! Thanks for kicking ass! What a great way to start my birthday weekend celebrations!"

Sage laughs. "Don't get too carried away, Oli. Just because you're not coming in doesn't mean I don't want you working."

Her smile drops. "Coach, why would you say something so hurtful? Didn't you hear me? It's my birthday weekend!" She uses her hands to emphasize her point.

I chuckle, throwing my arm around her shoulders. "Hey, at least we get tomorrow off, we have all weekend to celebrate this gorgeous face of yours. You know your mom's going to go all out so we got to burn off everything in advance." I squeeze her face with one hand as she scowls at me.

I look back at Sage. "Thanks coach, you looked good up there." Realizing what I said, I try to amend my words. "I mean, your form is good, you had good form."

A ghost of a smile makes its way to his face. "Thanks. Listen, if you have a few minutes after you're changed, could you come to my office? I have some questions on my quickbooks that aren't making sense. But if you're pressed for time, don't worry about it."

"No, it should be fine. I'll stop in before I leave."

My hair is still wet from a quick shower as we walk out of the locker rooms. Oli tells me she'll wait for me in the car as I head for Sage's office, trying to remember the way from the time I woke up in there after knocking myself out.

Peeking inside one of the open doors I find him looking over paperwork with his head in his hands. I decide to knock to announce myself. He looks up and gathers up the papers.

"Hey, thanks for coming. I hope this isn't as complicated as I feel like I'm making it."

"What's going on?" I set my bag down and saunter over to his desk. He grabs the mouse and begins clicking different things, closing them and then he opens his Quickbooks app.

"For some reason, our numbers aren't adding up properly. And I'm not talking about a couple of things here and there, the entire file is completely off."

I come around and lean down, pushing my glasses up and reach for the mouse, but his hand is still on it. "Sorry." I retract my hand before reaching for the mouse again after he pulls his back.

I go over the numbers quickly and then I check the history of the files and begin typing a search for the old files that are usually saved.

"Did you recently upgrade to a newer version?" I look over my shoulder catching him smelling my hair.

"Huh? What?"

I turn back to the computer, biting my lip to keep from smiling. "Did you recently upgrade the software for Quickbooks?" I repeat.

"Yeah, was I not supposed to? Joni, our office manager, usually handles all of this but she's out on maternity leave and she left me instructions on how to use everything."

"It's okay to upgrade, but one of the biggest issues when using quickbooks is that you need to install a new version at the same time you have the old one otherwise, the new version won't read the old version. It's annoying, but I should be able to fix it here in just a second."

I hit a few keystrokes and then wait for the magic to happen. "There you go."

Sage shifts forward in his chair and looks over the numbers. "You're amazing! You just saved me so much time and you probably saved this computer's life."

I laugh turning to face him and our faces are within an inch of each other's. "A computer is an inanimate object."

He looks back at me amused. "I stand by what I said. I probably would have taken a hammer to the thing." His eyes slowly travel down to my mouth before they move back up to look into mine.

"Kingston! Why do you have a damn phone if you never answer it!"

We both look up and I move away from his desk to find a tall handsome man in a suit grinning at us.

"Forgive my interruption." He walks further into the office holding his hand out to me. "Hi, my name's Tanner Elkenridge, old friend of Sage's." His smile widens when I shake his hand. "You must be Joanna."

I blink and then look back at Sage, who I swear is blushing and glaring at his friend. "Yes, yes I am. Sorry to rush, but I'm late for work. I'll see you on Monday." I turn to Sage before looking back at his friend. "Pleasure to meet you, Tanner."

He tips his head. "The pleasure is all mine, Joanna."

I mutter an excuse me, picking up my bag and head out of his office with my face extremely warm.

________________

"Here we go! Here we go!" Oli chants when the waiter drops off our tequila shots and she slides one to each of us, except Nati who's glass has cranberry juice since she's still nursing.

"Everyone got theirs?" She looks around the table that consists of me, Nati, Chuy, Quique, Zeke and Eddie— yes, Oli's wedding hookup is making an appearance outside of her bedroom.

"¡Arriba!" Oli shouts over the music in the new Latin club we decided to celebrate her birthday at and we all lift our shot glasses.

"¡Abajo!" We lower our glasses down.

"¡Al centro!" We bring our glasses to the center of the table, clinking the glasses with each other.

"¡Y pa dentro!" We down the shots together.

"Let's go dance, muchachas!" Oli yanks me and Nati off our stools and leads us onto the dance floor as the song Pepas by Faruko blares from the speakers.

As the night progresses Oli fades quickly, but she's having the time of her life, dancing and mingling with not just our group but with others like she's known to do.

"Okay, let's play a game and it's a birthday present for me too, so double win!" Oli holds her hands up, doing spirit fingers. "The game is, let's find a man for JoJo to take home!"

"What?!" I choke on my drink. "You're done, no more alcohol for you!"

"Oh, this game sounds like fun!" Quique enthusiastically agrees.

"Come on JoJo it's been almost three months, you got to get your pipes cleaned, girl!" Oli complains and then she stands on the rung of her stool. "Coach, is that you?" She shouts, squinting over me. I turn quickly but don't see him, she's definitely going fast.

But then Quique confirms he's here. "Hey, your Sage is here, JoJo." He nudges my shoulder and points to a booth and then I see him with his friend Tanner. They're both dressed nice, in dress pants and button down shirts.

I turn back to my friends. "He's not my Sage."

"He could be if you wanted him to be." Nati winks at me, but my brother narrows his eyes at her then looks at me.

"No, we're just friends," I state, sipping on my mojito.

"So...it wouldn't bother you if he was here with a girl or girls, is more accurate," Quique says with eyes focused behind me again. I resist the urge to turn around again and focus on remembering how to swallow after taking a long sip.

"Nope." I choke out. Oli and Nati look at each other, rolling their eyes.

"Whatever you say, JoJo," Oli says and then starts swaying in her stool as one of her favorite songs Envolver starts playing. 

"Eddie, dance with me." She hops off her stool and drags him to the dance floor. I chuckle wondering if Eddie has any idea what's coming with this song.

"Hola, guapa." A hand brushes down my arm. 

Looking over my shoulder, a man dressed in a white dress shirt, with the first few buttons undone and the chain on his neck shines under the club lights, smiles back at me. "¿Quieres bailar?" (Do you want to dance)

"¿Sabes que?" I down the rest of my drink. "Si, quiero bailar." (you know what? Yes, I want to dance)

"Joanna." My brother stands, eyeing the man.

"It's okay, Chuy." I wave him off and then take the guy's hand.

He brings me close to him as we move to the rhythm of the song. Our bodies bumping into each other with our hips swaying and circling. Oli is grinding a little more freely against Eddie who's matching her energy and then behind them I see Sage. His eyes are on me as the woman he's dancing with sways her hips against him and she grabs his hands putting them on her body.

I look away. It's fine.

He's free to dance with whomever. It's fine. You can't be bothered or even mad, you turned him down. But my eyes draw to him again and now he's smiling with the woman as she brings her arms around his neck, her finger playing with the ends of his hair on the back of his neck.

The hair you ran your fingers through while he slept the morning after he was sick.

He deserves to be happy. I'm happy, he's happy, yet I can't help noticing the bitter taste in my mouth. I jolt out of my thoughts when the guy I'm dancing with kisses my neck. I shove him back, completely startled. He looks at me confused.

"Excuse me." I rush to the bathroom and splash some water on my face. Get a grip, Joanna. You're losing your damn mind. Sage is free to do as he pleases. You made it clear you don't want to date him or anyone. I nod to myself in the mirror.

Once I've collected my crazy thoughts and emotions, I walk out of the bathroom, and step into the hallway, but I'm pulled back, finding myself pressed against the wall. "What the---"

"Did he touch you?"

It takes me a second to realize it's Sage in the dim hallway as his familiar scent surrounds me.

"What?"

"Did. He. Touch. You?" He asks slower.

"That's usually how dancing works, Sage. You should know, you had your hands all over the woman you were dancing with." I lift my shoulders in a careless shrug. "What's your point?"

"You know what I mean, Joanna. And why do I get the feeling you're mad at me?"

"I'm not." Looking anywhere else but him, but he turns my face with his fingers under my chin.

"You're confusing the hell out of me, Joanna. This is what you want, isn't it? Friends. You want to be friends, right?" His dark eyes drill into mine and then he cups my face, his body pressing against mine.

"I know you feel something between us. You're scared because you want me, too. Tell me I'm wrong and I won't bring it up again." My eyes search his and there's no doubting the sincerity in them. "What do you want, Joanna?"

I'm scared to like you. I'm scared to fall again.

Fear keeps me from saying it out loud. What happens when he realizes I'm not enough like Manny did.

He tilts my face up to his. "When I look into your eyes, it's like you think and feel the same things I do, but then you do and say the opposite. I don't know what to do. Whatever you want from me I'll do it, Joanna." His eyes search mine, but my lips are silent, frozen and he takes that as an answer.

He nods, his hands drop from my face as he steps back. He doesn't say another word and walks away, leaving me alone in the hallway.

After a few deep breaths I walk back to my friends on unsteady legs and sit at the table. And because I'm a sucker for self torture, I glance over my shoulder back at the booth Sage is sitting with Tanner, but they're not there. He left.

"Hijole, Oli's about to go off," Quique says suddenly. "Here I thought she was on a roll with no drama on her birthday for once." 

My head snaps back and I scan the room. Oli and another woman are standing toe to toe, their faces inches from each other. Eddie is behind my cousin, but a large man walks up behind the other woman.

The crack from the slap she gives Oli resonates over the music and all the men at our table stand. But we're not fast enough as the large man keeps Oli from coming at the woman and shoves her to the floor then he sucker punches Eddie, knocking him down, too.

My brother, Quique and Zeke rush forward but before they get to them Sage is there shoving the large man. The man takes a swing at him but he ducks and throws a punch at the large man's side. 

He tackles Sage to the ground and begins raining punches down on him. Tanner runs up, pulling the large man off, and now several others join in the fight before the bouncers finally break up the brawl.

"Oli, I swear it's been over with her for months." I catch Eddie explaining as he hovers over Oli, her lip is bleeding. She groans sitting up and begins to stand.

"That fucking bitch, where'd she go?" She looks around. "Did you see Coach come in and take on that douche?" She shakes her head. "I can't believe he came to help me. Where is he?"

I look back to where the group was fighting but the last of the men are being escorted out. 

"They took Coach, and the others who were fighting, out of the club," Quique tells me with my clutch in his hands. "Go get him, girl."

I hesitate but Oli shoves me forward. "Come on prima, the guy is willing to do anything for you can't you see that? He's even defending me. Shit. It's okay to be scared but don't let it keep you from living. Go!" She shoves me again. I take my clutch from Quique and start running toward the exit.

I groan, noticing it's raining outside. Of course. Pushing through the crowd at the entrance and others waiting in line outside the club, I spot Tanner. He claps Sage on the shoulder before getting into a car and I call out for him, but he can't hear me over the noise coming from the club, the people, the rain and the traffic. He starts walking away quickly down the sidewalk.

"Sage!" I break free from the crowd and run, well, more like shuffling quickly in my shoes after him.

"Sage!"

He finally turns around, holding his hand over his head squinting through the downpour. "Joanna?"

I come to a stop in front of him, panting. I wipe at the wet strands of hair sticking to my face. "You forgot something."

He narrows his eyes at me and walks toward me. "What?

Closing the rest of the distance between us with my heart thundering in my ears—while also threatening to beat out of my chest, and my legs on the verge of giving out any second—I tell myself to just do it, don't think. Just do it.

"Me." I lean up, crashing my lips to his.