JOANNA

Things aren't going to be weird. Don't make things weird, Joanna.

Nothing happened. Did we almost kiss? You bet. Did I want to kiss him? A hundred percent. I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't resist the magnetic pull and energy between us. But fate intervened like it has a tendency to do as I'm coming to realize and nothing happened. 

It's for the best. I don't need to complicate my life by getting involved with someone so quickly, especially if there's a child involved.

Not that I wouldn't date someone with a child or children, though I can honestly say I never really thought about it. Until now.

Obie is an awesome kid. Super sweet and funny. And I love how close he is with Sage.

I shake my head to focus. Yeah, this is for the best.

I nod at myself in the mirror after pulling my hair up in a messy bun and throw on a jacket before knocking on Oli's door. 

"Time to get up, prima!"

Knocking again, I reach for the handle but the door swings open and I come face to face with the bare chest of a man, his jeans are undone, and then he rushes past me before I can say a word.

I turn back, making out Oli's form on the bed, still asleep. "Oli!" I hiss, moving into the dark room hesitantly, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. Calling out to her again, I nudge her arm and she sits upright immediately. I find a shirt on the floor and throw it at her to cover up her naked chest.

"We're gonna be late. Coach will make us do double sprints if we're not on time."

She groans, falling back and then reaches out on her bed, her hand moving in different directions before her head pops up again.

"Where's Eddie?"

"I'm going to guess that was the guy who just ran out of here like I was chasing him with my chancla." I inform her as I look around. My mom's voice pops in my head about having pride in keeping a clean room, and begin picking up some of the clothes strewn around the floor.

"Is he the same guy from Anita's wedding?"

Her face breaks into a smile with her eyes still closed. "Yep."

"Just curious if I'm ever going to officially meet him?" I tease, throwing clothes in her hamper and then because I can't help it, I start straightening and organizing her lotions and perfumes on her vanity.

"Ay, no manches, Jojo!" Yoli says, muffled into her pillow. (Oh, quit playin')

"Alright, seriously, you need to get going, I don't want to do double sprints, today. I'm going to take Maverick and Goose out and you better be ready by the time I get back or I'm going to have an interesting conversation with my Tia about her daughter having strange men over. I still owe you for calling my mom, remember?"

"I'm up!"

When we arrive, I take deep breaths trying to control the fluttering chaos wreaking havoc in my stomach, knowing I'll be coming face to face with Coach again. I pause before pulling open the door, reminding myself to be cool.

"What are you doing?" Oli asks.

"Huh?"

"You're talking to yourself," she says, pulling off her jacket. "Are you going to tell me how your wedding date with Coach went?"

Avoiding her probing eyes, I turn away, to take my jacket off. "It wasn't a date. Obie was with us, remember?"

"Lozano, Espinoza, you're with us today." Another trainer, Joel, approaches us.

"Where's coach?" Oli asks the question in my mind out loud.

"He called in." Joel responds with a shrug.

I try to ignore the fast beating of my heart. This has nothing to do with what almost happened last night, Joanna.

"Did Coach say anything about not coming in today?" Oli asks as we follow Joel.

"How should I know?" I snap, but stop with a shake of my head. "Sorry, I have no idea. He seemed fine and no he didn't say anything about missing today."

During the work out, I keep coming up with different reasons why he wouldn't come in other than the obvious reason. Maybe he had a Dr's appointment for himself or Obie, possibly a dentist appointment? Kid's have those all the time, don't they?

"Are you done working with that hotshot celebrity?" Oli asks as we climb into her car to go home.

"Almost. I'm working on her taxes. You know she's from here originally?"

"I thought she was from somewhere south, no?"

I shake my head. "No, she was born here, then moved to California when she got discovered."

"So, does working with her mean you'll get opportunities to work with other celebrities?"

"Honestly? I hope not. There's been a lot of paparazzi camping out outside our building waiting for a glimpse of her. It's crazy how word spreads so fast on the days she's stopped by the office. And as grateful as I am for the opportunity. I like our lowkey clients, but I don't really have a say in which direction the firm goes."

Oli smiles. "Well, I'm proud of you, prima. You deserve all the opportunities that come your way. And I'm proud of how you've handled yourself with Manny. I still can't believe he had the nerve to say he misses you while he brought that pinche mocosa with him." (fucking brat)

"It's crazy, you know, it hurt that he threw away all the years we had together just like it was nothing. But looking back...I realize he was right."

"What?!"

I hold my hand out to stop Oli going off. "Not about everything. But I did stop taking care of myself and always put him above my own needs. I mean, damn, after talking to you about everything, I realize I've never had a proper freaking orgasm! I put his needs first in every aspect of our relationship and despite all that he blamed me for cheating." I shake my head.

"I was comfortable, just going through the routine of being in a relationship, but not really being present either. There was no...passion or challenging each other, at least not in the sense of growing together and moving forward with life. We were just coexisting and going through the motions."

"That doesn't give him a right to do what he did, though, JoJo."

"I'm not saying that. But I'm trying to see the silver lining and I think going through this has made me realize, I shouldn't settle. If I'm not happy I need to speak up or make a change." I park into our stall in the underground garage of our building. "For right now, though, I like just getting to know myself again. I don't need to jump into anything anytime soon."

"Sure, but you shouldn't deny rediscovering the inner sex goddess we all have inside of us."

I laugh, wrapping my arm around her shoulders as we walk into the elevator in the garage. "Ah, Oli, as much as you'd love for the ho in me to come out, it's not gonna happen, okay?"

"All I'm saying, cuz, you've got a date with Rick tomorrow so if things start progressing go with the flow. Make sure you wear that white lingerie matching set you have."

"Oli!"

"What?" She chuckles. "If my boobs would fit into it, I would have taken it by now. Lingerie like that shouldn't go to waste."

______________

"Joanna, do you have the numbers ready for Mr. Murdock? We need to compare them to last year's forecast before the meeting today at three." Mark walks through the open door of my office and stands in front of my desk.

"Yes." Quickly taking in the disaster state my desk is currently in, I shuffle papers around until I find the folder. "Here. It's right here." I hand it to Mark without looking up so I can continue crunching numbers on my desk calculator.

"Have you had lunch today?"

"Hmm?" I respond absentmindedly. What am I missing? These numbers just aren't adding up.

"Joanna."

I look up and Mark's worried face makes me think I missed something important. "Sorry, did you say something?"

"I asked if you've eaten lunch yet?"

"Oh, um I had a snack."

"When?"

"What?"

Mark sighs and walks around my desk. "When's the last time you ate something?"

I check the time on my computer. "Ten-thirty."

"Come on, let's grab something to eat before we have the meeting."

"I'm fine, Mark, really. I'm not hungry." I insist, but he folds his arms not moving. I blow out some air. "Okay, fine. But something quick and small." I stand, following him out of my office.

We step into the elevator and he hits the button to the lobby of our building where the cafeteria is. 

"Are you not eating because of this weight challenge you're doing? I heard you talking to your assistant about it the other day."

Bristling at his accusing tone, I fold my arms. "It's a boot camp. And it's not really targeted for weight loss, that's just an added benefit."

"You don't need it if you ask me."

His admission takes me by surprise, even more so when I see his face reddening. My face softens into a smile. "Thanks. I'm doing it with my cousin, sister in law and friend."

"How long is it going for?"

"We are going on week three out of a total of eight."

We make our way to the display area of the assortment of food available today, from sandwiches, salads, and fruit bowls. My stomach grumbles from the smells wafting in the air from the hot food being made. Mark raises his eyebrow, hearing the embarrassing sounds coming from me.

"Fine. I'm a little hungry."

Once we sit down, the alarm on my phone goes off reminding me to drink water. Mark glances at my phone. 

"So you're strict about drinking water, but not about eating food?"

"What are you, the food police?"

He laughs. "No, just a concerned, innocent bystander."

"I appreciate your concern, but it's not warranted, I assure you." I take a bite of my chicken cobb salad.

"How's everything going with the Lane account?" He asks, picking up his chicken salad sandwich.

"Good, almost finished. I was working on her profit and loss statements when you came in. How are your accounts coming along?"

"They're fine, keeping me busy. There's rumors going around about the Senior Accountant position coming available since Mason is moving to Houston in a few months."

"Oh? I haven't heard anything." Truth be told I've been coming to work, putting my head down and not focusing on the usual drama or gossip that tends to circulate.

"Are you interested in it?"

"The position? No, I have enough on my plate right now. I just want to focus on finalizing everything for the Lane account and keep up with my regular clients."

"Hmm," Mark's lips pucker while his eyebrows furrow.

"Why?"

"It's nothing, but your name is being thrown around for consideration."

My head snaps up to look at him. "It is?"

"Considering you landed the biggest client account for the firm since it opened, all eyes are on you."

"Jeez, as if the pressure wasn't enough already as it is." I suddenly lose my appetite and push my salad away.

"Hey, I didn't mean for it to upset you. If anything I thought you'd be ecstatic." Mark's hand comes over mine.

My phone rings and we both glance down as Rick's name flashes on the screen. Mark pulls his hand away and continues eating his sandwich while I send Rick to voicemail. I'll call him after I'm finished.

"I, uh, heard you and Manny broke up."

"Wow, my personal life has made the cut as office gossip." I sigh with a humorless chuckle. "But yes, two months ago."

Mark wipes his mouth with a napkin. "I'm sorry; it's none of my business."

I poke at my salad and my phone dings letting me know Rick left me a voicemail. "It's fine. It was all very melodramatic." I skewer some of my salad onto the fork. "I guess it would have happened sooner or later."

"Why do you say that?"

I look up, meeting his sympathetic eyes observing me. "We were high school sweethearts, but we grew apart and I think I didn't want to accept that. Or I was afraid to, I don't really know. But eventually, I'm sure I would have noticed a third party. At least I hope I would have!" I laugh, but Mark's mouth sets in a tight line.

"He cheated?"

"It's in the past and over."

"I will never understand why people don't leave instead of cheating. Why choose to hurt someone they once cared about in such an awful way..." He pauses and clears his throat. "My mom...she uh, she cheated on my dad with his best friend."

I reach across the table for his hand. "I'm so sorry."

"Is it weird that as an adult, I think it hurts going through it now more than I think it would as a kid? I always thought of my parents as the ideal couple of what a relationship should be like."

"Was it recent?"

His sad chuckle tugs at my heart. "No, but it feels like it did. My dad, he hasn't really recovered from it, you know?"

I squeeze his hand and then my phone goes off again with a text coming in. It's Oli telling me she thinks she pulled something from this morning's workout.

"Well, we should head back and get ready for the three o'clock meeting," Mark says, cleaning up our table.

"Thanks, Mark. I needed a break."

He smiles. "Anytime."

Once I'm in my office again, I listen to Rick's voicemail. He's confirming that we are still on for tomorrow but mentions he would be unreachable for the rest of the afternoon in meetings and would text me later tonight.

My thoughts go to Coach and I wonder if I should reach out to him, but I talk myself out of it. He's probably busy and even though it seems like we crossed into the friendzone and almost into something else, it's not a good idea. We're not that friendly—I think. But then the almost-kiss pops in my mind.

Just a quick message. I start typing something short.

Me: Hey, missed you at the gym today *smiling emoji*

I stare at the message and then erase it. I can't say miss—that's too strong.

Me: This morning's session was brutal. *sweating grin face emoji* Oli thinks she pulled something lol. Joel might be worse than you when it comes to bringing on the torture at the gym. *winking face emoji*

My office phone rings and my assistant, Carrie, lets me know Stacie is on the phone. After I hang up with her I check my phone and swallow the uncomfortable lump of rejection when I see Coach read the message three minutes ago.

It's no big deal.

He just left me on read.

_______________

"Selfish. Big-headed. Arrogant. Childish. Asshole. Arrogant."

"You said that one already," Oli comments standing over me as she spots me on the bench press. I set the weight bar down on the rack.

"Are you going to tell me who you're listing off with creative nicknames?" She asks, crossing her arms. "Is it Rick?"

"No. We're still on for tonight." At least I think we are. He never texted last night like he said he would.

"Okay...please don't tell me it's Manny, because I'm about to arrange a hit out on his scrawny ass." Her eyebrows furrow with frustration.

I glance around us to make sure no one is within earshot of us. Especially, since we are grouped with other cadets because Coach is once again not here this morning.

"Do. Not. Freak. Out." I emphasize each word. "¿Entiendes?"

"I got you, I got you." She nods that she understands and moves in closer.

"So, that night I went to the wedding with Coach..."

"Yeah?" She leans in further.

I do another quick scan before I look at her again. "We sort of...we almost...I think he was going to kiss me."

I jump back from the loud screech Oli lets out. Everyone in the gym stops what they're doing to watch her jump up and down, clapping her hands and then holding her face.

"I knew it! I knew it! I fucking KNEW IT!"

I shake my head, smiling nervously at people who are now watching us. I roll my finger next my head, making sure they know—if they can't already tell—that she's fucking crazy!

"Oli, basta!" I mutter for her to stop.

Her screaming has turned into uncontrollable laughter and I stand as she's laying on the floor clutching her stomach.

"I'm leaving."

"Wait!" She gasps, holding on to my leg. "Wait, I'm done. I promise, I'm done."

She stands, grabbing my hand and pulls me over to a secluded corner where we can stretch and then she faces me. The smile she has on is sure to break her face. 

"Dime todo!" She urges me to tell her everything.

"No. Not after what you just did."

"Oh, come on, I promise to be on my best behavior!" She looks at me with puppy eyes.

I wait a few seconds before I give in. She knows her puppy face always gets me. "Okay, so when he dropped me off, Obie was asleep, but he insisted on walking me to the door."

"Like the gentleman, that he is," Oli says with pride while I give her an unamused look.

"Anyway, we were hugging and you know like in the movies when the guy and girl are at the door and one person pulls away, but the other person doesn't want to let go?"

"Yeah, yeah?" Oli has my hand in a death grip.

"We're staring into each other eyes—"

"He has great eyes, like I'm looking straight into your soul kind of eyes." She interrupts again. "Sorry, keep going."

"I swear he was leaning in and then he stopped and then...I kinda leaned in too." She slaps a hand over her mouth, bouncing in her seated position.

"But then his phone rang and I snapped out of the moment and I went inside."

"You what?!"

"I...I don't know. I thought maybe I imagined it, you know? But the more I thought about it, I'm pretty sure we would have kissed if his phone didn't ring. And then I thought maybe he's mad that I basically ran from him and instead of facing me. He's avoiding me like a coward."

"Wait, wait, wait. You think that's why he hasn't been coming to the sessions?" Her eyes widen.

"It's too much of a coincidence don't you think? Maybe his ego can't handle the rejection." I shrug.

"I don't know, JoJo. We may not know him that long, but coward is not how I would describe him."

"Yeah well, after what happened with Manny, something else I've learned is you never really know someone."

"Well, that's fucking depressing," Oli says and I laugh.

"I think it's for the best. I'm not ready to get involved with anyone. Especially someone like him."

"What does that mean?"

I give her a deadpanned look. "Since when do you see guys that look like him be interested, let alone stay with girls that look like me."

"Bitch, I know you're not trash talking yourself unless you want me to kick your ass in front of all of these people," Oli says, her voice actually sounds threatening.

"Ladies! Are you done gossiping? I need to see you finish out your last set before I excuse you for the day." Joel says, looking down at us.

_____________

Later that night as I slip on a light black sweater cardigan over my camisole cream tank top, I apply a tint to my lips and slide my feet into a pair of studded flats. Walking out into the living room, I pull my phone out when it chimes.

Rick: Hey pretty girl, I'm so sorry I'm going to have to cancel our plans tonight. Raincheck?

I look up when Oli walks in. "Hey, what are you doing home so early?"

"It was a slow day, so the Boss sent most of us home. You look nice."

"Yeah, well, it was a waste. Rick just canceled on me." I toss my phone on the counter.

"Let me see." She hangs her coat on the rack near the door and walks to the counter where I'm sitting on a barstool, picking up my phone.

"Didn't he confirm and talk it all up yesterday?"

"Yeah, but he said he was going to text me later and never did. And this is the only text I got today."

"But why be vague about it?" She questions. "Let me show you how to play this game, cuz."

"What game?"

"The game players like this pendejo like to play," She says confidently.

"You can't assume that."

"We'll see." She smiles and then begins texting. She hands me my phone and I read the message she sent him.

Me: Hey, my night just opened up. Want to go out?

Me: Oops wrong person!

I look up at her, questioningly. "Just wait." She smiles at me. My eyes drop down when my phone rings.

She clicks her tongue. "Yep. I knew it."

"What the hell do I tell him?"

"Just answer it." Oli shrugs. I grind my teeth growling at her and hit the speaker button.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Joanna. It's Rick. Listen, I'm sorry for all the confusion, but if you're still available I can come pick you up?" 

Oli crosses her arms, shaking her head vigorously and mouthing the words, don't do it!

"Oh? I thought you couldn't go out?"

There's silence on the other end for a few seconds. "Yeah, sorry, I got my wires crossed, but it's all good now."

Oli is whisper-shouting at me. "If you do it I will kick your ass, JoJo!"

I roll my eyes at her. "Shoot, I can't. I made plans after you canceled. Maybe some other time, bye!" I end the call and look at Oli.

"How did you know he was lying?"

"Well, sweet dear, cousin of mine, that's the upside to dating as many frogs as I have. You start to pick up on things."

My phone rings and we both look at it.

"Damn, he's persistent," Oli says.

I turn it over and Coach Sage's name is flashing on the screen. My eyes widen and I hold it up so she sees.

"What the hell are you doing? Answer it, tonta!" (silly)

All thumbs, I fumble trying to answer the call and also put it on speaker. "Hello?"

"Is this Joanna?"

Oli and I look at each other when it's not coach's voice on the other end.

"Yes, this is Joanna."

"Oh, good. It's me, Obie. Listen, um, my dad doesn't know I'm calling you, but he needs help."

Once again Oli and I look at each other. "What does he need help with?"

"Well...he never gets sick, but he is now. It's pretty bad. I don't know how to cook but he's not looking too good."

"Hey, Obie. It's Oli." She pulls the phone closer to her. "Send us your address and we'll be right over."

"Cool, I just sent it. Um, can you bring your dogs, too?"

I smile. "Of course."

****