Our tired feet scuffled along the dirt pathway. We'd been walking for what seemed like forever. Even the nigh-endless energy provided by my half-dog DNA was reaching its limit. The crunch of the dirt underfoot bounced through the thankfully empty forest.

Ace stopped for a moment to wipe his forehead. "So, why do we have to go to this bar?"

Max took a drink from his never-ending water canteen. Once he had his fill, it automatically refilled with purified water. "It's called a pub here." Max handed the canteen to Ace.

"I don't care," said Ace before taking a long drink. He then poured some over his head to cool off before passing it to Glen.

Glen waited a second for the canteen to refill. "Because it's the first checkpoint. If we don't make it, the Gamemaster will declare us losers and our universes will be erased."

Ace made a futile attempt to brush off the dust from his blue and red letterman's jacket. "But should Joe be leading us? He got lost in his own backyard."

I pointed a finger at Ace. "Hey! A genie had turned it into a labyrinth at the time."

Glen passed the canteen to Ryan. "This would have been simpler with our horses," Ryan said before taking a long gulp; he then handed it to me. His Irish accent came through the more tired he became. "Why can't you just teleport us there?"

I took a couple of swallows before answering. The cool water soothed my desert of a throat. "Not this many people and not that far."

"What about Max?" asked Glen. "He's a wizard. Can't he just magic us there?"

Max stretched his back, making a pop noise. "I am a writer. My magic is bound to the rules of stories. It would be too easy, plot-wise, for me to whisk us there."

Ace slapped his sides in defeat. "Oh...look at us. What a group we are." He pointed to me, Max, himself, and Glen in turn. "A werewolf, a wizard, a ghost, an alien spy..."

"Ex-spy," Glen corrected.

Ace continued and pointed to Ryan. "And a video gamer turned bounty hunter. And we can't even find a bar." I inhaled a sharp gasp and then chuckled. "What is it?"

"I just realized. A werewolf, a wizard, and a ghost are looking for a bar. We're like the worst joke ever."

Ace flopped to the ground, crossing his legs. "That's right. We're a joke. We can't even find a—"

Ryan interrupted with an eager point. "Look! A town!"

Ace collapsed onto his back. "What's the use? I can't go any further."

I turned to Max. "Do you think you could get us there?"

He nodded. "Shouldn't be a problem. We would have done a cut to signal time passing anyway." Max turned to the small stick resting in a belt pouch. "Phil, are you ready to work?"

The stick, which was in reality a magic wand, took on a light purple glow as it floated into the air. "At your service," he said.

With a nod from Max, Phil began to fly a circle around us. "In need of rest," started Max, "the heroic travelers spotted hope on the horizon in the form of a town..." As Max continued his story, a bright light began to envelop us. Then once it faded, we were standing outside the town.

A young teen, probably about 13 or 14, wearing a newsboy cap sat near a sign announcing, "Welcome to Bream. Population..." This was then followed by a series of crossed out numbers, each smaller than the last. The latest said ten.

Max gulped. "Encouraging."

A sudden scream pierced the area. The teen stood, muttered something about another taking off their cap, crossed out the 10, and wrote 9.

Max gulped again "Even more encouraging."

"Excuse me," I said. "Can you tell us how to get to The Fountain Inn in Parkend?"

The teen nodded with his head. "Through the town. It's the only way. Unless you want to backtrack and go through Ellwood, but I hear they've got their own problems. You can either take Parkend Road or go to Whitecroft, but I'd advice against going there."

"Thank you," nodded Max. He reached for a small bag on his belt. He proceeded to pour a fine dust into the hands of the boy.

"Oi! What's this?!" he shouted after Max.

Max looked over his shoulder. "Magic dust."

The boy sniffed at the dust. "Americans. Lousy tippers even after the apocalypse." He tossed the dust over his shoulder. An explosive foom made him turn back. An elegant table full of fattening and fancy food appeared out the smoke. The boy's jaw dropped for a moment before he rushed towards the feast.

***

Somehow the quiet crunching of earth beneath our feet was more unsettling in the town than it was in the forests.

"I've seen ghost towns that were livelier," Max commented while surveying the old buildings.

The buildings seemed rundown, even more than they should have been. Windows were cracked or straight missing, some had boards over them. Paint peeled off the sides and I spotted nail marks along the doorposts. The rooms were dark, but I could sense something lurking inside.

A few homes had doors slightly opened with human eyes peaking out. I found it strange that I only half sensed the people, kind of like bad phone reception.

A disheveled man and woman, both wearing caps and goggles, picked at a car lock. The couple paused, breath held, while we passed. Once it was clear we meant no harm, they continued their work.

"It looks like if people are quiet, the zombies don't bother them," Ace half-whispered.

"You noticed that too?" asked Max. He stopped for a moment and surveyed the town with a quick glance. "But what's up with the hat obsession?" he mumbled thoughtfully.

"I might be the oldest here," said Ace, "but I also have the most experience. This isn't my first time encountering a town living in fear."

Ryan flapped his black cloak to keep cool. "I wonder how far till—" We all nearly ran into him when he stopped short. "Shush," warned Ryan with a point.

A group of zombies, immortui, seemed to be just hanging out, not bothering anyone at the moment. But they were blocking our way out of town.

Even though we backed away slowly, one spotted us and cried out, "Dinnertime!" but in Zombie, so it came out as "Braaaains."

Quickly, Ryan produced the crossbow from his cloak. He fired a bolt which hit a zombie square in the head. As that zombie staggered, Ryan rushed forward, his sword glinting in the sunshine, and sliced off the head of a neighboring zombie. The headless immortui stood still for a moment then bent down to retrieve his severed skull. With a sloop-sluck, he stuck it back into place.

Meanwhile, the zombie with the arrow through her reached up and pulled it free. Twang.

"Uh-oh." Ryan stepped back as the zombies moved in.

Glen whirled to Ace. "Sorry, no time for small talk." He then socked Ace in the face. Wap!

Ace's astral/ghost form stayed standing while his physical body fell. Since I'm part dog, I am able to see and hear Ace's ghost.

I turned my attention back to the zombies as Max gripped his wand.

"Not so tight," whined Phil.

One of the zombies created a fireball in his palm. He chucked it towards Ryan.

"Look out!" cried Max.

Ryan managed to get the hood of his cloak up before the impact. The explosion's shockwave caused us to groan and protect our faces. When the explosion cleared, a cloaked demon-man complete with horns, fiery red eyes and flames along the ends of his cloak stood where Ryan had been. The creature pointed a black gloved finger at the fireball zombie. "You...are...next," Ryack spoke in a terrifying, almost Sauron-like voice.

In a flash, Ryack slashed through the zombie with his now glowing magical sword. The zombie tumbled into a pile of limbs. Ryack made a slight chuckle noise. But then the zombie pulled itself back together, much like watching a video in reverse.

I soon lost sight of the others as a small group of zombies came towards me. "Time to let the dog out," I said before closing my eyes to concentrate.

Once I opened them, I could feel the Dark Energy (psychic energy, phantasmic energy, etc) ripple through my body. Within seconds, I became a six-foot humanoid golden retriever wearing an off-white shirt, blue jeans, and black boots. A purple cape was at my back that hooked into my purple sports vests. With a final ripple, my emblem, a dog howling at the moon, appeared on my chest.

I reached to my once-black-now yellow belt. The 3D Fabricator printed up the gadget (aka Dog Toy) that I wanted. It looked like a bone shaped chew toy but was really a high-powered blaster.

I opened fire on the encroaching horde. As a personal rule, my blaster is set to "stun" by default. The plasma bolts knocked them down, but this time they seemed to take longer to get back up.

Hmm...

Suddenly, one snapped his fingers and a bolt of lightning struck my weapon. My blaster went flying away from me, clattering on the ground before turning to dust. This zombie once again held his fingers up like he was about to strike, but Ace appeared in front of me.

"You like lightning, buddy!" Ace held his hand skyward. Immediately the sky began to darken as storm clouds formed. A bolt of lightning shot from the sky. Ace caught it. "Chew on this!" Looking like Zeus, he hurled the bolt at the zombie. The bolt connected and arched through all the zombies.

The attacking immortui remained still. Their rotting zombie flesh was now charred and smoke rose from their bodies. We all sighed.

But then multiple crackling noises came forth from the horde. The zombies began to jerk and twist as their skin "healed." By healed I mean returned to their pervious rotting undead state.

"Any other bright ideas?" Max asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Snowplow."

I yelled and charged at the zombies. I kicked, punched, and sliced (with my claws) at anything that dared get close, but I kept moving forward.

Time moved slowly as I grabbed one by the face and smashed it into the ground. Another unlucky one got a flying kick to the chest; it flew backwards and into a crowd of zombies. A palm-strike to another sent it chasing after its detached head. A quick leg-sweep to a zombie in a tux sent it to the ground; a plume of dust shot into the air. I used the plume to sneak attack two zombies. As I emerged from the smoke, I smacked their heads together.

As I battled my way through the host of horrid zombies, Ace returned to his body and grabbed Glen by the hand, pulling him through the temporary hole I'd made. They were followed by Ryack and Max.

Max waved his wand like a conductor as he recited his spell. "Each of the party made it through without a scratch." Phil glowed as the spell was cast.

Once they reached the other end, Ryack lowered his hood, reverting back into the freckled-faced Ryan. "Doesn't look like we get much of a rest," he pointed.

The zombies, the one's I hadn't knocked out, were already turning towards us.

"Go!" I said pointing towards the beginning of Parkend Road.

They didn't need much coaxing. I turned back to the rotting undead. I focused my energy. A growl began to form in my stomach; once it reached its apex, I barked. The sonic shockwave knocked over the remaining zombies. But, like the other zombies, they weren't getting up as quickly.

Weird, I thought then ran after the others.

***

After gaining some distance down the road, the others slowed to a walk.

"Do you think they'll have beds at this inn?" said Max.

"They better," said Ace.

"I don't mind sleeping outside," Glen shrugged.

"Wouldn't be my first night outside," added Ryan.

I then rushed by them screaming the whole way and continued down the path.

Glen scratched his green-and-brown colored hair. "Why's he running?"

"Don't know," said Max. "But if a superhero is running..." Max then started running. "I'm not far behind."

The others turned back to look. A cloud of dust rose from the ground and sounds of something similar to thunder and moaning flooded the area. That was enough to get the others running.

"We'll never outrun them!" Max's eyes were wide with worry.

"Don't have to outrun them," said Ryan picking up speed. "Just have to outrun you."

"Some friend!" said Max.

"Oh, you know I'm joking."

As we continued running, Ryan presented a vial. Ace asked what it was. "Speed boost potion. It cost me three XP levels."

"You have a speed boost potion?" Max asked, slightly panting.

"What kind of gamer would I be if I didn't have a few potions on me?"

Max turned, slightly matching the darkish purple of his clothes. "YOU HAVE A SPEED POTION??!!"

"But there's only one," observed Glen.

"It's a splash potion."

"Well, splash us!" shouted Ace.

Ryan tossed it a bit ahead of us. The vial smashed and a spray of liquid covered us. Our legs and feet began moving so fast that it looked like they'd become wheels. Our arms pumped so quickly that they looked like a solid arc.

Within seconds we'd outpaced the zombies. Too bad the potion wore off a few seconds later.

"Look at that," said Glen, resting his hands on his knees "The zombies have stopped."

Just a bit from us, about ten yards, the zombies stood patiently. They looked like they didn't care about anything, or were thinking of anything.

I used one arm to support my other as I rubbed my chin. "Strange." I took a couple steps forward and a zombie turned to look at me. I stepped back and it went back to staring into space. Interesting.

Glen looked longingly back towards Bream. "It's a shame we couldn't have stayed longer."

"Why?" asked Ace, rubbing his legs and arms. "It was long enough for me."

"According to my Earth studies back on the mothership, Bream had some impressive mines. I would have like to visit them. At least I got some souvenirs from the shops."

Ace rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Now I've seen it all. An alien tourist trap. Wait, when did you go shopping?"

Glen waved his arms up and down his body. "Alien spy. I snuck off while you guys were fighting the zombies." Ace rolled his eyes. "Neat stuff. Iron, coal, pyrite, gypsum; some imported I'm sure. Not to mention the samples of sessile oak and sweet chestnut."

About here is when my ears perked up. I twisted towards Glen, my tail smacking Max (who'd sat down) as I passed. "Did they happen to have tin?"

"Of course," said Glen. He reached in his pocket and pulled the micro-storage device he'd "borrowed" years ago. An inventory screen appeared and he began swiping. "The others really don't like the stuff, but I love how..." He stopped then peaked around the screen to look at me. "Oooh..." he said, eyes full of realization. "Tin."

Ace placed his hands on his hips. "Care to share?"

"Tin weakens the flow of psychic energy," said Glen. "Which is why alien abductees and conspiracy nuts wear tin foil hats; aluminum is okay but tin is better. Covering your head or eyes with something made of tin can make it harder for a person's Dark Energy signature to be picked up." Glen turned to Ace. "Remember, the soldiers at E Ops did it all the time. I bet it what's keeping the people of Bream relatively safe."

"They had tin in their hats?" said Ace, tilting his head to the side. "They looked like cloth."

A small opening appeared in Glen's device. He pulled out the tin. Luckily, it was already refined into tin sheets. "Trade secret."

With my telekinetic strength, I soon formed the tin into a makeshift hat. Also, by this time, I'd shifted back into a human—no sense in looking completely foolish.

I donned the hat, trying to cover as much of my messy blond hair as possible, and stepped slowly towards the zombies. They paid no attention to me. I took a few more steps forward; still nothing. I removed the hat and they turned towards me. Quickly, I put the hat back on and they turned away. I returned to the group with a smile of victory on my face.

Glen gave Ace a friendly slap on the arm. "I told you we should have stayed in town longer."

Ace narrowed his eyes at his friend. "No you didn't."

"Now what?" asked Ryan.

"If Glen can tell me where the shop was, I can teleport in and grab some more," I said. "Then we can carry on to The Fountain Inn."

***

About an hour later, we, sporting the newest fad in post-apocalyptic fashion—tin, arrived at The Fountain Inn.

And so, a ghost, an alien, a werewolf, a gamer, and a wizard walked into a crowded pub wearing tin foil hats...