I mean this is an option, but I recommend reading the previous Suga OCD chapters just so you aren't confused as to why tf these things are happening, so yea.

Happy birthday suga! It's 12:01 so I was close to exactly midnight 🙄
Suga ocd || chapter four - complete

Trigger warning~ mentions of depression, mentions of self h*rm

Keep in mind these are only mentions! No self h*rm is actually taking place!

~~~~

The morning had consisted of a lot of silence. The breakfast table was awkward and tense, no one seemed happy, no one seemed comfortable. Yoongi was at one side of the table, and Hoseok was at the other. The two rarely made eye contact, unless Hoseok had caught the older eyeing him. Yoongi was concerned, no doubt, and he honestly was very confused. Was it his fault, or not?

Breakfast was served as normal, jin had cooked and the others had politely waited for their serving, minus jungkook's begging. "Hyung! I'm hungry." He pleaded, the maknae only had a small grip on 'waiting his turn'.

"Jungkook, listen to me. You can your food once everyone else is served." The maknae only pouted. Normally, this would have made Hoseok burst into laughter, nearly falling out of his seat. Today he could only sigh and shake his head. "Or you could make your own meal and get served first." Jin jokingly suggested.

"Hyung..." He whined again.

"You heard me Jeon Jungkook." The eldest said while serving each member (oldest to youngest, besides himself) a plate full of breakfast and fresh fruits. "Eat up, boys. Hoseok you have a doctors appointment at 2, and Yoongi has one at 3. Everyone else has either has driving duty for those boys or practice. Meaning Joon, you have practice." No one groaned in annoyance, or even smiled at jin's hidden insult towards Namjoon.

"I will get my drivers license, okay?" He seemed annoyed.

"Relax, it was just a joke. I was trying to lighten the mood." Jin scoffed, namjoon sunk into his chair. Yoongi did the same, he didn't like all of the arguments and heavy, annoyingly loud chatter. The whole world seem to be mocking him, knowing well that he didn't like it. Nothing was going his way.

"Everyone get dressed. It's not going to be the best day today, but it's necessary." Once again, no one said a thing. Everyone had left the breakfast table expect Yoongi and Jin. "Listen to me Yoongs," He pushed the youngers cheeks so that he was facing him, though they didn't make eye contact.

"Everything will be okay." Yoongi fidgeted in his seat, he was on medication at the moment. It sure wouldn't fix everything, but it did make things slightly better between two of the rappers in the band. Hoseok wasn't blaming himself far as much for Yoongi's behavior, and Yoongi, well, he didn't feel 100% responsible for watching everything the younger did. The world had let up a little bit, giving them time to collect their thoughts.

Noon came a lot faster for the boys than they had originally planned it to. The rap line was in Hoseok and Jimin's shared room, chatting about anything and everything. The vocal line had originally been playing some video games in the maknae's room, but Jin and Jimin couldn't focus to save their lives.

The two had taken a break, jimin deciding to read and jin scrolling through his phone. But the look on their faces had let the two youngest know that they weren't just unfocused, they were worried sick. Jimin's usually happy, cuddly aura was pale and dull. Jin was tapping at his screen aggressively, and periodically turning it off and on. Maybe the contents of his screen would be different now?

Different then all the websites, all the armys worrying about Yoongi, noticing how off he looked at the ceremony. Maybe when he turned the screen off, and it went black, a cultural reset would happen. The world would leave them alone for just a quick second, just to gather thoughts and emotions, to think of plan C. Fake it until you make it wasn't working for them anymore.

Something was going to have to change.

"Boys! It's time to go! I'm taking Hoseok to his appointment, and then Jimin will take Yoongi."

*we are currently at dance practice*

(a/n i'm not showing hoseok's appointment just because it's a yoongi series? If that makes sense to you, so yea.)

The five boys at dance danced their hearts out. Everyone was sweating massive amounts, drenching the back of their shirts. A couple members were lightheaded and dehydrated, but that was normal. They just kept dancing. Especially Yoongi, he just wanted a free mind.

Thoughts swirled his head, Hoseok filled his mind. And although his head was full, his heart was oddly empty. Nothing seemed to satisfy him, not even the announcement of a break. "Hyung, come sit down, take a rest." Namjoon had patted on the floor next to him, motioning for him to sit. Yoongi shook his head.

"No."

"And why not?" Namjoon was trying to be settle with his words, but even in his own mind he sounded harsh.

"I want Hoseok." Yoongi slapped his thigh, so hard it left a red mark. His tone wasn't one of anger, but his actions would let the emotion surround his head like a group of nats. "He needs to come." Namjoon resisted his urge to take Yoongi into his arms and hug him, whisper words of comfort into his ear. But that would only make things worse.

He remembered how Yoongi would fight Jimin and Taehyung off. He remembered the punching and the kicking, the screaming was far too much for Namjoon, he had to leave the room. Hugs weren't the way to calm him down, he wasn't as into skinship as the 95'liners.

Namjoon watched as Yoongi calmed himself down, it truly was amazing. He could go from a near panic attack state to acting as calm as one would on the beach. It was surreal to Namjoon, how much self control he had over himself when he really, really tried. Maybe it was his meds kicking in, maybe he just had a lot of self control today. Whatever it was, Namjoon was grateful. He wasn't in the mental state for a breakdown right now, and he didn't think anyone else was either.

Not after the previous night at least.

Yoongi had gotten calm enough to count to ten. It worked most of the time, but other times it made things worse. He had gotten lucky today.

"I need a break."

"Alright, sit down right here by me." Jimin had said. Jimin was always, always open to comforting Yoongi. There wasn't a time where we wasn't willing to open his heart a little wider for the older. Nothing Yoongi could do would ever stop that. Not even when Yoongi had smacked him in the face after getting far too worked up. Not even when Jimin had watched him pull Taehyung's wrist to the point of near dislocation.

"Jiminie.." He sniffled. "I wanna fix it. I really really want to fix it."

"Fix what, love?" Jimin resisted the urge, instead, he took Yoongi's hand in his.

"What I broke." The room was silent for a few seconds. The world seemed to stop, just this once once for them. Just this once the world would stop and wait. Just this once.

"You didn't break anything, honey. I see why you are so upset but you did nothing wrong, baby." You could see Jimin's heart shatter, he so badly wanted to engulf the rapper in the biggest hug he had ever experienced. He wanted to tell him that it would be okay, but he didn't have the heart. He didn't have the heart to see Yoongi's face when Jimin broke his promise. What if everything wasn't going to be okay? "It's okay, it's okay right now."

"And what about later?" Yoongi's eyes looked so desperate. He pleaded no verbally for an answer, but it never came.

"I don't know." Jimin really didn't want to tell him that, but he never wanted to give anyone false hope. "We should get going. See you guys later, I'll text you when we get any information." The others in the room just nodded.

There wasn't anything they could do. They couldn't practice any dances, not with three members. Taehyung, Jungkook, and Namjoon just looked at each other. "Will he be okay?"

Jungkook was almost in tears. He too, never got an answer to his question.

~~~~

Yoongi and Jimin were silent the whole car ride. They didn't know what to talk about, they were both broken. The silence was ended by Yoongi's mumbling. "Hoseokie.. Hoseokie.." Jimin tried so hard not to cry.

And for once it wasn't because of hiding weakness (if you would consider that weakness), it wasn't about showing strength; it was because he wanted to keep them safe. Crying would mean Yoongi would feel guilty. Jimin's tears would block the road and they would crash, he couldn't deal with himself after that. The best solution would be to not cry.

"I broke him."

~~~~

"Alright Mr. Min, we will see you in room two." Yoongi gathered himself enough to walk to the room, Jimin walked slowly behind him. Jimin wasn't sure if he was allowed in the room, he just went anyways. If he wasn't they would tell him, until then he would stay with Yoongi.

"Today we will run a few mental state tests. Maybe prescribe you some antidepressants or ssris." Yoongi kept his head down, but nodded. He didn't want to be here right now.

Jimin patted Yoongi's shoulder calmly. Resisting physical affection was getting very hard for him. "You got this, yoongs. It'll be over before you know it."

The doctor handed Yoongi a tablet. It was preset at a website with a bunch of his personal information and a bunch of questions. It sent chills down the rapper's body just thinking about how much time it would take.

He went through each question almost easily, although some of the questions made him think. Do you often have nightmares regarding the health and well being of your family? Yes, almost always. He answered. Do you experience constant worry over things that are not likely to happen? Yes, everyday. Are you met with numbness in limbs, shaking, or fevers in stressful situations? Often.

Each question that he answered made him feel more and more insecure about himself. What is wrong with me?

Yoongi tried to hide his tears.

"Are you finished?" Yoongi shook his head furiously. The read the status at the top of the tablet. 13/41 completed. He was going to go mad.

~~~~

"Based off of your results, Min Yoongi, we are going to provide you with SSRIS. Don't be afraid," He wasn't, he swears. "They are just a stronger version of your current antidepressants. Would you like to know the side affects list before you go?" Yoongi nodded. What was going to happen to him? Would it be better to just not take them and live with his OCD at an all time high forever?

"Feeling or being sick, dry mouth and blurred vision. Although this is only for the first month being on medication, it will still be quite unpleasant. If anything seems unusual please don't hesitate to call." He said before handing Jimin a small slip with the prescription, and leaving the room.

"You are free to go if you don't have questions." The nurse said. Jimin shook his head and Yoongi stared into her blankly. "Alrighty, have a great rest of your day." Jimin smiled kindly, bowing.

~~~~

By the time they had picked up the medication and gotten back to the dorms it was already 5:30. The group of boys, minus Hoseok and Jin were sprawled around the living room. "Where are the other two?" Jimin asked as soon as he walked in.

"Hobi?" Yoongi called out. No answer was given.

"They are in Hoseok's room."

"Can i-i go?"

"I'm sorry, boo. Hoseokie said he wanted some privacy." Namjoon cringed at the pet name he gave. "Maybe later, though?" Yoongi shook his head. He wanted to apologize, now.

"No!"

And the waterworks had started.

~~~~

I really hope you enjoyed it. I was thinking about doing a part two to "Jimin || help", would you guys enjoy it? Or is the plot line dead? Give me input, please <3

~Requests Closed~