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***

"What the fuck, Ino?" Tenten stated to Ino, inside her head. Ino looked back. She sighed. "Look, Tenten, I'm worried about you. You've never been like this before. Ever. So I need to know your crush to see what's up." 

Tenten crossed her arms, inside her head. "Don't you dare look into my memories, you despicable pig."

"Sorry, Tenten! You've never sworn, never said 'un', never called anyone anything mean excluding your team, everything about you is different! You've even changed your clothes for GOD'S SAKE." Ino snorted. "How could you insult me?"

Tenten gasped. "Say Jashin's sake, say Jashin's sake if Jashin-sama hears this, I'm doomed. Do you know how many I'll have to-" She slammed her mind-hand over Ino's.

"Say it." She demanded. Tenten could feel a presence approaching. "Say Jashin-sama."

Frightened, Ino said, "Jashin-sama??" 

The presence lifted. 

"Oh. Okay. Good." Tenten said. "Now, leave my head."

"No. I'm seeing these memories." Ino started going through the memories. She arrived at the Hokage's office first. Looking at Deidara. 

Oh, Deidara. Tenten thought. Ino looked at her funny, "You mean Deidei, right?"

"Uh, yeah." Tenten said. "now quit looking at my memories."

Ino stated. "And hang on a second, here you are outside of Konoha."

"No! No! Don't go further than that! If you do, I swear to Jashin, I will make you into a shish kebab."

Ino paled. "Why's Deidara from the Akatsuki next to you?"

"Uh, Deidei thought it'd be a funny joke?" Tenten suggested. "Quit it. Now. I'll tell you my crush."

Ino kept looking. "You can't force me out, Tenten." On and on she scrolled, and Deidara just remained Deidara. "He's not changing..."

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, fuck. Tenten thought. 

"I can still hear you, you know." Ino said. "What's wrong? What, is he actually from the Akatsuki?" Ino scrolled a bit further, and saw Hidan. She paled again. "Why are you near Hidan, from the Akatsuki?"

"Everyone likes to pretend to be Akatsuki?" Tenten shrugged awkwardly. "We have a bunch of friends?"

Ino's eyes grew scared. "How could you? Why are you with... the Akatsuki?"

Tenten threw her hands up, claiming innocence almost, "It's a long story. We are not part of the Akatsuki?"

Sakura threw Tenten's hands down. "Umm, your mouth-hands?" She hissed toward Tenten, nodding towards Hinata while smiling awkwardly. 

"It was a joke from last night." Sakura claimed. "We all thought it would be funny to pretend to be the Akatsuki. We even got cloaks."

Hinata asked, "U-uh, isn't that weird? I m-mean not that it's not okay b-but..."

"Yeah!" Ino agreed, "Why would you be Akatsuki? Like, being BTS is so much better. Or, like, some super cool other things, I don't know, we really gotta plan a costume party someday, okay? Okay."

Sakura sighed internally. It would work for until they would leave. In the meantime, they had to eat some dinner, find a hotel, sleep, and survive another day. 

///

Ino lay in bed. She was thinking. Why? Because she knew what she had seen within Tenten's mind. 

See, what Tenten didn't know was that Ino had looked much further back than just meeting Hidan. She'd even gone all the way to the base, where she'd seen Sasori enjoying jam; Deidara and Tenten in a hug; Sakura and Zetsu arriving back from a mission; Tobi yelling and flailing around; and even Konan. 

There was no way that Tenten and Sakura weren't in the Akatsuki. They were wearing the robes 24/7. 

Thing is, should she sell her friends out to the Hokage? 

They were part of a highly trained ninja organization for terrorists that have killed thousands upon thousands of people for money, buuuuuuut they were her friends and had helped her in so many ways. 

Plus, she might be targeted and killed because of telling the Hokage. And was the Hokage even really going to do anything? All she ever did was drink and bet. Maybe Shizune? Shizune was always bogged down in other work. Asuma-sensei? He just wanted to talk to Shikamaru... Shikamaru? He is a chuunin, but I don't think he'd care. It's too troublesome, I suppose. Even if he did care, he'd want to take the logical, non-emotional option of Hokage. Kakashi-sensei? He's ANBU now... Hinata-chan? She'd tell Neji-san or her father, and they'd go to the Hokage too. 

It was useless. The only person who could know was Ino herself. She was stressing, badly. 

Okay, so she needed more evidence.

///

Early in the morning, Tenten woke up. Not by Deidara's beautiful, "Katsu!" followed by a bANG!, but by an alarm clock. 

Sakura slammed the alarm clock shut, rolled out of bed and continued sleeping there. Tenten rolled out of bed similarly, then realized how cold the floor was and got up into the bed. 

"Sakura. We really should leave." Tenten said sleepily. Sakura only replied with a small, "Mm." as the two continued sleeping. 

Deidara knocked on their window. "Hey, psst, why aren't you up yet?" He whispered through the window. Tenten sat up, "Nope, I'm up." She said as she opened the window, yawning.

Deidara grinned, "Sure, you're up. So, since the police ended up taking care of me overnight because of a minor explosion, I'm going to take a nap. Cops keep tryna question me, un."

Tenten looked over the room. "Uh, there's only two beds, and Sakura takes up a whole one. And I still wanna sleep..."

"Oh well, guess we're in the same bed." Deidara shrugged. Then he realized what he said, "I mean, no, I didn't mean it that way, it's just a nap from 5 a.m. to normal shinobi get-up time, which is like 8 a.m. right?"

Tenten sweatdropped and agreed immediately. The two cuddled up on one bed, with Sakura sprawled on the other. 

///

3 hours later, Sakura woke up, panicked for a little while seeing Deidara, then jumped out of the window to sacrifice someone for Jashin, and ran to Ino's place. She allowed Tenten to sleep so that she could get some time in with her bestie/enemy.

"Hi, Sakura." Ino smiled, but the smile never reached her eyes. 

"Heyya Ino." Sakura grinned. "What's up?"

"You're part of the Akatsuki. How did you get into the Akatsuki?"

Sakura laughed. "You're joking?"

"No. I'm dead serious for once."

Sakura stared. "You looked further into my memories than you said, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

Sakura finally sighed, admitting defeat. "Yeah, we're Akatsuki. They're a lovely bunch."

"That's sarcasm, isn't it?" Ino said. 

"No. For realsies, they're really great."

"Okay, but how'd you get in."

"I am not telling you that." Sakura grew suspicious: "Why are you asking?"

Ino made a face. "I wanna be part of it too."

Sakura closed up. "I'm sorry, Ino-chan, there's exactly zero chance that I'm letting you in. Firstly, we're not done with properly being introduced. Secondly, I can't let you in without orders. Thirdly, as your friend I can't allow you to do this. Fourthly, I don't want you to see the Akatsuki, nor us within the Akatsuki. Fifth, there's zero per cent chance that I'll let you see Akatsuki me. Sixth-"

"Okayy, okayyyy enough." Ino complained. "If I'm not allowed to, then I'll join myself."

///

In the meantime, Tenten cuddled with Deidara more. Deidara woke up, and started to leave, but Tenten hugged him a bit more. He sighed, and moved her hair out of here eyes. 

"Aww," he whispered as quietly as he could, smiling, "Shinobi don't have feelings. I know you don't like missing-nin, though. Don't worry about it."

He got up. It wasn't okay cuddling with her if she would never like him anyways. He styled his hair, dressed in Akatsuki clothes, changed into normal ninja clothes when he remembered that he was in Konoha, and he woke up Tenten. 

"KATSU!" he shouted, a small bomb near Tenten's bed exploding. 

"Good morning Deidei~" Tenten said, and smiled. Deidara smiled back. Then he said, "Let's go. We're going back today, right?"

"No, un," Tenten said, "We're having another girls' day, at the hot springs . I'm sorry, Deidei, I'm sure you'll still like Konoha."

"Mm, sure." Deidara said. "So where are you going?"

"The hot baths of course!" Tenten said in delight. 

"Ah, of course. Well then, see you." Deidara said.

Tenten frowned. "Are you okay? You seem a bit pissed."

"Nope. Not pissed, un." Deidara said.

Tenten nodded, and left. Deidara huffed into his hair. He thought about what Tenten had said, and wandered the village. He passed a gray haired shinobi, bumping shoulders with him. The shinobi turned around, asking who'd bumped into him. Deidara shrugged, turned around, and said that it was him. 

Kakashi - for of course the grey haired shinobi was him - looked at him closely. "Are you Deidara?"

Deidara mumbled, "Nooo."

"You seem real depressed." Kakashi stated. 

"I am." Deidara said, lamenting.

"What's wrong?"

Deidara pouted. "Nothing."

Kakashi sighed. "Let's go get a drink and drown our worries, hm?"

"What are you worried about?" Deidara asked, interest piqued. "The bar?"

"Yeah." Kakashi said. "The bar."

Once the two men got there, they sat in an empty corner. The two ordered some alcohol and Kakashi began to tell about his woes, as Deidara had asked. 

"I don't know if I want to be ANBU anymore. The village is going to shit. There's nothing I can do to help it in the ANBU except get orders." He took another swig of his drink. "I hate it so much. As ANBU, I can't even do anything else. I need help. But Tsunade-sama sucks as a leader, and Shizune can't cope with the paperwork. What is there to do."

"Why are our problems so damn different?" Deidara complained, drinking.

Kakashi asked, "Why? What's your problem?"

"I like this girl but I'm not her type." Deidara said.

"Ohh..." Kakashi exhaled, "Damn that's bad. Tell me more."

"Ohhh, all my woes. She's such a pretty, beautiful kunoichi. She's so sweet. And good at everything. She's a real personality. So happy. And she cooks well, which is good news in anyone. She's really amazing." He paused. "She said that people like me aren't her type!"

"Oh? What did she say?"

"That missing-nin aren't her type, specifically! Can you believe that?! I can't. I totally thought she liked me. She blushed and fainted, even. A bunch of my friends thought so too! Even Sasori!" He whined. "Oh, I'm so in love but shinobi don't have feelings and it's making my head confused."

Kakashi patted Deidara's arm. "I hope it goes better. Just a second, did you say missing-nin, Sasori, and shinobi?"

"Yeah I did but I'm so torn that I don't care anymore." He whined. 

Kakashi and Deidara drank some more together. "I feel you. I feel you." Kakashi told Deidara, "You're a shinobi, and I'm a shinobi, and we're not allowed to have feelings and it sucks."

The two spent the rest of the day drinking and complaining to each other. Once Kakashi gets over his hangover headache in the morning, he'll wonder why he was speaking so informally with a dangerous terrorist missing-nin, but he couldn't change it nor regret it (shinobi can't have feelings!). Oh well. 

///

Tenten jumped through to Ino's window just as Ino finished her 'I'm joining the Akatsuki whether you like it or not' speech, exclaiming, "Hey guys, where's Hinata? Wanna go to the hot springs for some girls' time?"

Sakura jumped up, agreeing. She thought she'd just confront Ino later. The three kunoichi headed over to Hinata's place.

"Wow.." Sakura whispered to Tenten, steadfastly ignoring Ino for the time being. "Hinata-chan's really been improving while sparring with Neji-san, huh?"

"Yep," Tenten whispered back, watching the impressive spar. The two had clearly been sparring for a while, as both were sweating like hell and had scratches and bruises all over. They'd been going as brutal towards one another as they good. The Hyuuga clan was extremely talented. After a while, Hinata finally fell to Neji's blows. She struggled to get up, then stopped. Neji extended a hand down to Hinata, helping her get up. Tenten, Ino and Sakura stepped into the Hyuuga compound.

"Heyya, Hinata-chan! We're leaving to the hot springs for some more girls' time, if you'd like to join us!" Sakura offered. Hinata smiled and nodded a yeah,  saying that it was better for her bruises.

Smiling, the four left to the hot springs. They spent a while there, and night fell. Once that was over, Tenten, Sakura and Deidara met up at their hotel. 

"Well?" Deidara muttered, "Let's leave this godforsake- I mean Jashinforsaken place. I hate Konoha. We gotta get to the hideout."

"Isn't Monday supposed to be off? Couldn't we stay another day?" Tenten asked, hugging Deidara a little. He huffed, and agreed to stay till the morning. Sakura noticed the two-bed thing and offered to sleep on the floor, as there wasn't a couch. Tenten and Deidara said no, claiming they didn't want Sakura to sleep on the floor as it was too uncomfortable. Deidara and Tenten slept back-to-back, of course. 

///

In the morning, Deidara had a huge hangover, as expected. He was not in a good mood.

Neither were Tenten and Sakura, as they were unhappy to leave Konoha. It was an unhappy band of three. Especially for poor Sakura, who was still worrying about Ino. The three finally made it to the gates. 

"Hey, Kotetsu, Izumo." Tenten said miserably. The two guards looked at the three funny. "Are you all alright? Bad mission?"

"No." Tenten and Sakura answered back. The two guards looked suspiciously toward Deidara. "Is that Deidara?" They asked. 

Tenten, Sakura and Deidara said, "No."

"Uhh, um, okay. Have a great trip, everyone!" The guards smiled awkwardly.

Sakura sighed in relief as they crossed the gate to the outside. Ino hadn't shown up, the Akatsuki were safe. 

The three started their journey towards the Akatsuki. All of a sudden, Deidara stopped, grabbing Tenten by the hand to stop her, then reached out for Sakura.

"What is it?" Tenten whispered. Deidara slid his eyes across the clearing they'd stopped at. He slowly opened his pouch of clay. The two kunoichi knew not to speak until Deidara figured out what was wrong. 

Deidara's hand-mouths were chewing, the only sounds in the clearing. Small clay beetles ran down the Akatsuki robes and threw the trees at the edge of the clearing. Curiously, they all ended up in a similar spot, right behind and a bit to the left of the Akatsuki grouplet. 

"Katsu." Deidara muttered, quiet as a mouse. A dangerous, explosive-loving mouse. A girl's shriek penetrated the clearing.

"That's Ino-pig!" Sakura yelled, rushing in to save Ino, despite Ino having run in for the Akatsuki, foolishly even though Sakura'd warned against. She started healing the bruised and unconscious blonde girl. 

"Who's that?" Deidara said, miffed. "Why's she following us?"

"That's Ino-chan. She's from the Yamanaka clan, a talented mind shinobi. I'm not quite sure why she's following us?" Tenten asked.

"She wanted to join the Akatsuki." Sakura admitted, still concentrating on healing Ino as she flipped her hair out of her eyes. "She- I- I don't know why she wanted to. But that's why she was following us." A pause, "How did you notice her?"

Deidara rolled his eyes. "Me? I planted some bombs all over the place. At this point I don't even know all of them, but apparently one was there. It was small, but big enough to be heard. She must've stepped on it. Now... why are you trying to join the Akatsuki?" He turned his attention to the frightened young kunoichi who'd just woken up.