hiroto pov

3 months after the accident

White

All I see is white

All I see are these boring white walls

I been stuck in this hospital for who knows how long and within those days not only my parents but also the doctors have been trying to convince me that my name is not jungkook and is actually hiroto

But they are all wrong my name is jungkook and I am an only child

My eyes wondered around the same boring room and landed on the two backpacks that were placed against the near corner of the room.

One was decorated with a power ranger figure while the other was ironman

My eyes didn't move in inch, still locked on the two bags.

Why are there two?

The hospital door then swung open, revealing a tiny young boy that looked somewhat the same age as me

" grandma I brought the ice cream! " he yelled

He began walking towards my bed, his eyes still glued on the yummy snack he held

When he finally detached his eyes from the yummy, goody substance, he realized he roamed into the wrong room

" you're not my grandma "

I giggled at his confused face
" no, I'm jungkook "

" ahh jungkook. Wait then why does your wristband say hiroto? " he pointed at the red wristband that was attached to my wrist

I simply shrugged
" they messed up my name  "

"  idiots, I'm serious these doctors need to get fired, they have no swag "

I began to giggle and he joined in as well

" oh! " he looked down at one of the cones he held and looked back at me

" this was for my grandma but you can have it "

" really!? "

He smiled and gave me a nod

I quickly took the ice cream in my hand and waisted no time to devour it

We just sat there eating the yummy ice cream and enjoying the silence

" my name is yoongi, just so you know " he gave his ice cream another lick

" does that mean we are friends? " I asked, face covered in ice cream, hands all sticky, and cone all gone

He took a good look at me and let out a giggle

" yes idiot, we are friends " he laughed as he handed me a towel

I gave him a big smile

For some reason I felt super happy

For some reason I felt that I just gained something

Something that a specific person can't take away from me.

__

Car accident?

I have asked my mother the reason for my hospitalization many of times and the answer concluded of

' sweetie you fell off a tree and bumped your head too hard '

But that answer did not fit with the bruises that where scattered around my body

I took another glimpse at the article rereading the last part multiple time, trying to sink it into my brain

jungkook...

Is dead.

Am I not jungkook?

Nothing makes sense

What in. god. damn. shit. is going on?

I yanked out my phone only having one single clue on what to do

" mom. we need to talk "

___

I entered the small household of my mothers. I household I haven't step foot in for decades. My eyes scanned the unfamiliar scenery as my mother guides me to a small room which I came to conclusion is the living room.

Although I'm surrounded in an unfamiliar set, I can't help but feel like a sensation of warmth. This little house has a soothing aura, making it so welcoming to bystanders.

The first moment I laid a foot in this house, I felt guilt but also happiness.

I found it odd that there was not a single photo decorating the walls or displayed on a surface of a table

She gestured for me to sit down on the available couch in front of me, while she took a seat across from me.

Silence

That's all that roamed the air. None of us willing to speak the first words. None of us willing to break the wall of questions we build up.

I gazed at her, as she took the hidden box she placed behind the couch.

She took the first step to break the walls
" I already know why you're here "

She gripped on tight to the box as she locked her eyes on the objects it held

" mom-

" he was such a good big brother " she began, cutting my sentence off

" you and him would always fight but... He cared for you so much "

I watched as her delicate fingers traced a photo frame. Such a small photo was able to reflect her sorrow and pain.

Wanting all my questions to be answered I restarted my sentence
" mom "

Her trance was broken from the small object in front of her, her eyes now landing on nothing more but me

" I-I'm jungkook right? "

Terror

That's what filled my brain as she had no sign of shock. As she stared at me with those big sorrow eyes. As she spoke those words

" no "

'no' such a small word that can cause such aching in ones heart

" you my dear. are not jeon jungkook. you my child. are no other then jeon hiroto "

I gripped the couch as those words spilled out. Hitting me like venom

" no you're wrong! The doctors.... They must of mixed us up! Yeah that's it. They mixed up and declared the wrong twin dead " tears streamed down my face as I yelled at her

She was still not phased. No, she looked as clam as ever. As if telling your own child he's been living a life full of a lies. A life that that never belonged to you. A life that you'll never have. Was such a normal task to do

" no honey, you are hiroto. jeon hiroto who's big twin brother passed away "

" no! you're lying! " I screamed at her, wishing she could stop this silly game of hers

Her eyes turned red as she reached out, hands whipping against my face

The sound of skin contacting echoed throughout the house

She slapped me

" I'M NOT LYINH HIROTO!! YOU ARE NOT JUNGKOOK!! YOU NEVER WERE AND YOU NEVER WILL BE!! "

" w-why? " my voice cracked, head no longer having the will to be raised up and is now ducked low as my eyes screwed shut

" then why have you been lying to me? why has no one told me!? "

A sigh slipped out of her lips, probably frustrated for having to lock such a thing like this aways, probably tired of lying to me or just probably tired of me
" we tried hiroto. We tried so hard to convince you but you never listened. "

" and the doctors? "

" the doctors had came to a conclusion that the
traumatic event that you experienced has caused your brain to be deeply affected, causing you to believe you are jungkook "

My hands clinched on tight, nails digging deeper into my palms

All of this is too much

I have been roaming this world, claiming I'm jeon jungkook but..

jeon jungkook is a name that doesn't belong to me..

Then the realization hit me

taehyung

taehyung doesn't belong to me..

I have fooled his heart and shattered it the same time. He believes I'm no other then his beloved kookie but I'm not even close to that

I-

I have to see him

As I set my destination to the cute, little red heads house, my mother gripped tight to my hands, unraveling them to lightly place the small photo frame that her finger where once dancing on.

The photo captured two little boys laughing together, one holding tight to an iron man figure while the other held a power ranger

I secured the frame in my hand

Her small fingers then gracefully slipped a piece of paper into my pocket

" just- just in case " she said as her hand combed through my hair

I replied with a small nod

My hands never released their grip on the frame, as I walked out of the household that I once was able to remember but now it's nothing but foreign place

I made my way out the door, not daring to take a glimpse back, only releasing a low 'goodbye'

My mind was focused on nothing more then the red haired, box-smile boy.

I must see him

____

" what do you want? " his so unfitted for the role boyfriend questioned

He stood firm and tall, arms crossed, as he waited somewhat potentially and irritated for my answer to spill out

" I came to talk to taehyung "

Once those words slipped out of my mouth his eyes glowed full red, arms no longer crossed but now on each side of him as his hands formed a fist

His index finger instantly flung up to my chest, poking it very aggressively

" you listen here JUNG FUCKIN KOOK, I don't want you near taehyung. He is my boyfriend. You hear that!!! MY BOYFRIEND! "

That word again

It caused a slight sting deep inside me but I choice to ignore it

I held my head low, guessing by the silence he must of been shock from my reaction

" c-can I p-please see him for o-one last time. I need to t-tell him something... " I gripped tight to photo frame that holds the true jungkook and the true me

By the sigh he released, he must of given in, allowing me to see the red headed boy

" fine, but if you dare touch him I'll fuckin rip off your balls "

I nodded and walked past him, quickly running my way up the stairs

Having not a single clue about which room he claimed as his, I wondered throughout the hallways.

While searching for the bubbly boys room I heard shuffles of movement and mumbles. I couldn't quite pick up the others mumbles so I neared myself, voices soon becoming clearer

I locked with the slit open door that blinds me from the source of the mumbles. I quickly peeked through the slight crack, eyes focus on the boy

It was taehyung

As I observed him I have came to learned that he was acting, acting what seems like his own created scene

I kept silence, watching as his little skit played on. He would play both roles, switching positions each time the other had a line.

The story seems to be about two young boys. One who lacks a mother and father while the other would constantly visit him in this place I assume is called 'secret spot' since that's how the other would call it

He continued, faking a crying scene but the tears that he shed seemed to real to be just an act. Those cry he let out couldn't be just for extra affect.

He automatically stopped, head quickly turning and stopped automatically on me. What I haven't notice while I was so absorbed in the boys story is that I have uncontrollably step closer to get s better look, resulting to the door releasing a loud creek.

My eyes widen as the other looked at me in complete shock

" w-why are you here? "

I sighed, walking up to him and quickly pulling him into a hug, leaving the unanswered question flowing through the air

His body stiffen for a second but soon relaxed.

" you're going to hate me for this " I broke the hug, taking a grasps of his hands and adjusting it as I place the photo frame slowly on top. I watched as his confused face eyed me.

My heart raced as he slowly looked down at the little object, his eyes completely widening once it landed upon it. He quickly looked at me, searching for the answer of his confusion.

"What-

My hands joined his, both of us holding the photo safely from falling

" taehyung, I-I'm not jeon j-jungkook. I'm his little twin brother, jeon hiroto "

He yanked his hand away from mine, shocking me and resulting to the frame to come in contact with the tile floor

" w-what.. "

I could see the way he forbid himself from shedding the first tear because he know if that one falls then more will follow.

I slowly walked near him
" taehy-

" NO! " he screamed, pushing me aggressively far from him

" DON'T COME NEAR ME! " he huddled himself in the corner

" taehyung listen to me " I pled as I tried once again to near him but this time taking it slower

He shook his head, hands cuffing his ears as he attempted to block out every sound

" t-the real j-jungkook died along time ago. We were in a car accident and he didn't make it "

He aggressively flung his head side to side, hands still trying to block as much sound as possible
" NO!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! "

Angry at his stubborn way, I yanked his hand, tightly locked in my hold.

" TAEHYUNG! JUNGKOOK IS DEAD, I SURVIVED!! NOT HIM! "

I could no longer control myself, he must know that the jungkook he has encountered 9 years ago is long gone.

Tears trickle down his face, he once again pushed me. He then began to weakly punch my chest, slipping words past his lips with each punch.

" IT'S. ALL. YOUR. FAULT. " he kept at it, hands attacking my chest as all his emotions spill out

He then shocked me

His hand roused up as it soon came crashing against my face. The sound of skin to skin bounced against the wall

I brushed my fingers against the bruised skin, eyes locked on the broken boy placed in front of me

His eyes had swollen up, checks dusted pink, and lips damaged as he had bitten his lips to prevent from breaking down in the beginning

" I-It's your fault " he repeated, voice slowly dying out

" k-kookie would still be here! If you never left the hospital!! You took away my kookie!!! You just took him away!! H-he was the only one who never stop believing that one day I'll get adopted! He was the only one who made me happy! He was the only one who made my life worth living!! And y-you just took him away!! "

He weekly gave me a shove, running to the open window and then climbing out of it.

I just stood there

In the empty, deserted room

I told taehyung

That's all I came for and it has been done. I can't do anything else. I can't heal his heart. I can't ease his pain. I can't tell him everything is going to be alright because it honestly won't be.

All that is lift for me is to see him.

____

well here I am

Examining my surroundings, I could only see shades. Not a single spot of color brushed against the set. The trees leaves slowly crumbled their way down the floor, wind gushing against my skin, spreading only coldness, and those once chirping birds I was able to hear just a couple of minutes ago had dyed out.

I bend down, knees greeted by the hard, solid concert. I shield my face as I unravel, no longer able to to grasp the tight rope, I once used to tie up all my feeling with

" I-I so sorry jungkook "

I shouldn't be displaying myself like this, especially in front of my brothers grave but I can no longer hold back. All this year I had chosen to be him for a reason I don't even know. He should of survive not me. He was able to brighten someone's day not me. He's the reason for taehyung's happiness not

me

I held my head low, focusing on how my tears would splash as it came in contact with the hard ground.

But then my head flung up as I heard an unfamiliar voice, eyes in shock when they finally landed on the one who owns the such  husky voice.

" long time no see little brother "

__

Well well well
This is the longest chapter I ever wrote. I actually did not intend it to be this long but ehh stuff happens.
I hope you like it. There's only one chapter left and I'll probably end up long somewhat like this one. All you're remaining questions will be answered
ฅ( ̳͒•ಲ• ̳͒)♪