The pain in your arms was close to unbearable as Ward held them tightly, his fingers pressing into the soft skin and ensuring that bruises would be left behind. You wouldn't give him the satisfaction of crying, or even letting him see an ounce of the pain that you were feeling; he had lied to you for so long, that lying to him now seemed only fitting.

"Let me go, Grant. They're coming for you."

"Do you think that means anything to me?" he asked quietly, his soft expression the opposite of the anger you felt from his grip. "Just come with me, (Y/N). This shouldn't change anything. I've loved you for so long, and you've loved me. I was this person the whole time, so why does it matter now that you know who I work for?"

"Why does it matter?" you scoffed, "you really are insane."

"Stop saying that!" With his yell his grip only tightened, though you didn't think it was possible. A small yelp escaped you and he released slightly, much to your surprise. Grant closed his eyes and took a deep breath, calming himself in the hopes that it would quell your fear. "(Y/N), I need you to come with me. I don't think I can ever stop thinking about you. I'll never stop loving you. If you leave me, I'll never stop looking for you."

With a quick glance over his shoulder you saw Phil with his weapon aimed and ready to shoot. Ward caught your small nod to the agent and spun just as he fired, the bullet hitting your shoulder but passing through and into his. His hand reflexively released you enough for Coulson to pull you away and to safety, but in the distance you could hear Grant calling for you, promising that he would never let you go.

~~~

With another night of broken sleep and the recurring nightmares that had plagued you for the past few months since that day, you gave up and decided to get some practice time in the firing range just as you did during most nights of the week. Phil would call you determined, Daisy would say you were obsessed, but Lincoln would only support you, knowing that no matter what any of them said, the nightmares and your fear of Ward finding you wouldn't go away until he was captured. They wouldn't go away until he was dead.

You never asked how Lincoln always knew when you couldn't sleep, and how he knew where to find you; you accepted his company for what it was and never thought that he might have a motive beyond friendship. When he entered the range a few minutes after you, there was no surprise.

"Again?"

"Why ask when you know the answer?" you scoffed, shooting your target with perfect accuracy, as usual. "I'm beginning to think that maybe I'm the crazy one of that relationship. At least he knew who he was. I have no idea anymore."

"Come on, (Y/N)," he said, taking a seat along the wall to watch you, "you know that's not true. You're still who you were before, you're just...more..."

You smirked and turned to face him, leaning against the wall and waiting patiently with your gun tilted precariously in his general direction. "Careful, boy. You choose that word wisely."

"You're even more impressive to me than you were before," he smiled with clear satisfaction in his answer. He stood and walked to you, pushing the gun to the side gently and standing face-to-face. "Though I didn't think that was possible."

His proximity wasn't uncomfortable, but it was different; it was exciting in a way that you had never considered from him before. "That's very flattering...I don't really know what to say." You set your weapon on the ledge and left your hand open for him to take; he did so eagerly, his fingers lacing between yours.

"It's not weird, is it?"

"Totally," you exhaled softly, feeling your heart begin to race.

"Weird bad, or weird...good?"

"Maybe a little of both." When he moved in closer and his lips met yours, you closed your eyes, desperately hoping that the images of Grant Ward's face wouldn't appear as they always did. Just when you believed that you were in the clear, a bolt of fear shot through you and your mind could see those dark eyes of his looking back at you; you could practically feel his fingers digging into your arms again. You pulled yourself away from Lincoln, whispering an apology as you ran.

~~~

"Director, could I have a minute?"

Phil's head snapped up from the stacks of work on his desk, but he still gave Lincoln his full attention when he saw the concerned expression looking back at him. "What's going on? I don't like that look on your face." Getting that all-too-familiar sensation in his gut, he stood from behind his desk and walked around it to close the gap between them. "Let's have it."

"I had a...strange interaction with (Y/N) last night, and I'm a little worried about her. She ran off and now I can't find her. She's nowhere on base and no one has seen her since last night."

"What kind of a strange interaction?"

"Just strange," Lincoln replied quietly and awkwardly, averting his eyes away from Coulson.

Phil crossed his arms and leaned back against the desk, giving him a skeptical look, "if you want help, I'm gonna need specifics."

"No you don't," Lincoln scoffed, "you're just being nosy."

The Director squared his shoulders and looked back at him emotionlessly, "I have surveillance. Save me the work of finding it myself."

"I kissed her, okay? I kissed her and she...she ran."

"Not the kind of response a guy really wants, huh? Do you think you were that bad?"

"You know what, I'll just find her myself." Lincoln waved his hand dismissively and began to leave before Phil began to laugh and stopped him. He grabbed a tablet to pull up surveillance from each exit to put a specific time on when you were last in the building. They found you quickly, but stopped the images when Phil thought he saw something.

"When she exits, right there," he paused, pointing at the screen, "doesn't it look like she's being pulled through the door?"

~~~

When you finally woke later that morning, your body was riddled with fatigue and your muscles ached. It took conscious effort to open your eyes, and when you did the lights of the room around you were painful and stinging. The room was a little cold, and very sparsely decorated or furnished. Finally willing your eyes to stay open, you took a better look around and found yourself alone with a large window overlooking the room. When the hum of the speaker overhead came to life, you were relieved for a second that you weren't alone. Seconds later, you would want nothing more.

"I told you that I would find you."

Part 2

"We have to do something. If he found her then she's in a lot of trouble, if she isn't dead already."

"Hey, Daisy, could we maybe skip the whole talk about death, please? I'm not going to accept that," Lincoln snapped, "I refuse to, so let's try to keep our optimism alright?"

She hung her head slightly while gathering her gear to load into the jet, clearing her throat from the lump that was building in it at the thought of what you could be experiencing right now. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay? You're right. Knowing her, she probably has him begging for mercy."

~~~

"You're not going to beg? Doesn't it hurt? Those straps digging into that warm, soft skin?" Grant cooed, leaning over you and holding your chin to force you to look him in the eye. "The marks left behind will be a constant reminder for you that you should never disobey me again, (Y/N). I'm only trying to love you, and all you give me in return is hate and running away."

"I'm always honest."

"Oh, please," he groaned, "don't give me that Captain America bullshit that SHIELD forces down your throat. Please, spare me. That's a shadow that I'll never live under again."

"And I'll never stop, so it would seem to me that you're left with two choices here, Grant. Either you let me go or you kill me, because I'll never love you."

His hand snapped away from your chin, releasing you harshly as he stood and looked down at you, his expression full of anger and rejection, "you sound so sure of that. Well, honey, I wouldn't bank on that. We have ways of getting what we want." He left your side for a moment, returning with three men in suits who moved to the opposite side of the room and uncovered a large machine that was immediately familiar to you.

"That was decommissioned. We made sure of...oh my god, that's why you led that mission. You wanted it for yourself." You started to pull harder against your restraints, now beginning to feel real fear for the first time since he had taken you. "You're not putting me in there."

"I won't completely wipe your memory, (Y/N). I want some of you left for me. I'll just clean things up a little, give you a tune up, make you a little more HYDRA friendly."

"Yeah, I've seen the HYDRA package. It's a real value for the price." You felt one of the restraints on your wrist snap under your pressure, but you took caution to keep your arm in place to not give it away. "But no matter what you do to my mind, Grant, I'll keep fighting it. I'll never allow myself to be one of you."

He gave you a cold smile and signaled the others to take you, but you immediately began to fight them. "I know you believe that, (Y/N), that you can fight the process, but remember this. Bucky Barnes said the exact same thing."

~~~

The inside of the jet was alight with monitors and was buzzing with the sounds of computers and conversations about where you might be. Lincoln could only pace back and forth, feeling useless and unable to focus on anything other than each passing minute without any information.

"He must have removed her tracking tag. I can't get a reading anywhere," Fitz said quietly, grabbing a tablet and moving to one of the larger screens. "We only have her position to this point here," he paused, pointing to a complex map, "and then it just disappears. We can start there and hope for clues, but I don't even know which direction to look in."

"Guys," Daisy broke in, "I've hacked into some lower-level HYDRA database, but there's not much here. A few old blueprints, maps, a couple of supply lists for equipment, nothing that I can...wait," she typed quickly as her thoughts raced, Phil and Lincoln now moving to stand behind her. "Do you think this is anything?"

Phil leaned in closely, reading the very small print on the bottom of a shot of an old paper, his jaw setting when the realization came alive. "When was that machine moved?"

"Three days ago."

"Find it. Now," he growled, hurrying to the cockpit. "Watch for coordinates. We might have something."

~~~

Memories kept flashing through your mind as the minutes passed by; you struggled to hold on to them and not give in to what he was trying to do. "I'm not going to stop fighting this, so you might as well give up," you panted, barely holding your concentration.

"Turn it higher."

"Do you want anything left of your girlfriend? We can't guarantee safety at higher levels, we told you that," one of the nameless men said, keeping his hands at his sides and refusing to change the settings. "It could cause damage that is irreversible."

"I'm not is girlfriend!"

"Oh, that's the part you chose to focus on, (Y/N)?" Ward laughed. "The brain damage is no problem, but how dare they call you my girlfriend? Your priorities are really screwed."

"Sir, it's not working," the man called to him, "look. It hasn't even touched her mind."

Grant jumped out of his chair and ran to the monitor, watching the images of your brain waves as they danced across the screen before him. "I thought you said that you repaired what was decommissioned? You said this machine was ready to be used."

"It is," he demanded, "but it's having absolutely zero effect. It's not the machine, sir. It's her."

"How are you doing it?" Grant growled, hurrying to your side. "Tell me. Now."

"That's...classified..." you struggled, beginning to weaken from the constant barrage on your mind. "no one...to know."

Ward pulled his gun from his holster and held it against your chest, directly over your heart. "You will tell me right now. How are you doing this?" He pushed the barrel hard, and you swore you both felt and heard a rib crack under the pressure. "What are you?"

"She's an Avenger, you son of a bitch," Phil answered, his gun poised at the ready. "And I suggest you release her before things get messy. We wouldn't want to have to call in any of her friends, now would we?"

Daisy and Lincoln hurried to the control panel, pushing the men away and turning off the machine. Ward still had his weapon trained onto you, smiling at the duo as if their actions meant nothing to him. "It wasn't working anyway; I was about to turn it off. So thanks."

Lincoln raised his hands, ready to strike Ward down, but Phil stopped him. "If you hit him, it will hit her too as long as he's in contact. Stand down."

"No, please, continue. I really want to see what else she can handle." Grant leaned down close to your ear to whisper, "seeing you being such a bad ass is kind of a turn-on, really."

"Do it, Lincoln," you commanded. "I can take it. That's an order."

"No, don't!" Phil cut in as Lincoln's hand raised once again, "she doesn't know what she's saying."

"Stand down, Phil. I'm pulling rank," you said harshly, feeling the gun definitely crack a rib this time as it dug deeper into you. "Do it."

Grant stood again and faced the group with a wide smile and an air of confidence, "all of this bickering is really exhausting. I knew that SHIELD was pretty much a shit show now that you're running it, Phil, but I had no idea how broken it really was. I'll tell you what," he shifted, moving the weapon to press deep into your temple, "I'll do it for you. Consider it a lesson in team building."

His finger wrapped around the trigger and flexed just slightly, forcing Lincoln to act. The wave of energy hit Grant square in the chest, running down his arm and into you, the both of you shaking under the pureness of its power. Grant dropped to the ground within seconds, leaving the both of you unconscious.

"Alright, you two, grab her. May and I have him."

"Would you mind if I just shot him?" Melinda snarled, helping Coulson to lift the body from the ground. "Makes everything easier."

"Maybe later," he winked. "We can gather the team. Make some popcorn and a night of it."

"Hey, (Y/N), let's wake up, yeah? I'm not going to say goodbye to you again." Lincoln called out to you, giving you a small shake while Daisy held the other two men at bay. He pushed his arms beneath you and lifted you to him, shocked by the strength of the heat that was still emanating from you after taking the brunt of his power. "Daisy, we need to move."

~~~

You were freezing. Your body was shaking violently when you woke, feeling like you were in an ice bath. When you opened your eyes, you found it to be true. They had packed you in tight, with ice all around and in unmentionable places. "Who's ass do I have to kick for this?" you yelled as you climbed from the tub, your entire body feeling as if it were being stabbed by needles. Phil was the first to arrive, followed by Lincoln and Fitz.

"Ah, good morning, sunshine."

"Screw you, Coulson. This was you, wasn't it?"

"No," Lincoln whispered with a slight tremble and fear in his voice, "it was me. You absorbed too much energy and it was destroying your organs. You were...being cooked, for lack of a better term."

Fitz looked down at the box of Chinese food in his hands and turned away, tossing it into the nearby garbage can. "So much for dinner," he groaned. "Maybe next time try harder to find a better term."

You began to remove your wet clothes, throwing your pants and shirt to the ground with a heavy and wet slap against the floor, leaving you in only your undergarments. The three men quickly spun around to face away, but all you could do was laugh and grab a nearby towel, removing your undergarments before wrapping it around you.

"Okay, children, I'm covered," you huffed. "You didn't call the team, did you?"

"No, I follow orders," Phil sneered, looking at Lincoln, who immediately turned away, "I won't call them unless you die on duty."

"She almost did," Lincoln mumbled to himself. Even though you had ordered him to do it, and you all knew that if he hadn't you would surely be dead by Ward's gun, he still harbored guilt for hurting you. He looked at you angrily now, pushing forward and pointing at you as he spoke, "you're a damn fool, making me do that. I don't care how much energy your body can absorb. Being inhuman doesn't make you infallible. That...machine thing had weakened you, even I could see that."

"You're right."

"Excuse me?" he gasped, turning to look at the other two to be sure they had heard it as well. "Did you just say that I'm right?" He pressed his hand to your forehead with a skeptical look on his face. "I think I might have fried your brain."

"Yes, I said you're right. I am a damn fool," you smiled, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him down into a kiss. "For running away."

"That's...that's right," he replied, trying his best to be authoritative, "don't do that again, agent."

"Don't push it, Campbell," you whispered, "I'm still very much in charge." You grabbed your clothes from the floor and sauntered from the room, glancing over your shoulder with a smirk. "You'll see soon enough."