It didn't matter how many times he explained it, how many times he defended himself, or how many times he tried to justify it as being done for the greater good, you couldn't bring yourself to understand or agree with Steve on how this argument had split your team in two. Steve Rogers was your best friend, and had been from almost the moment you met him, but that didn't mean you had to agree on everything and he was having a hard time understanding that.

"So you're taking Stark's side then? If you aren't taking mine, then you're on his, (Y/N)."

"Wait," you turned towards him and held up your hand in protest when he moved closer, "why can't I choose to take no one's side? Why does this have to be about taking sides?"

"Not taking a stand is just apathy."

"I am taking a stand, Steve. I'm taking a stand that I won't have any part in this." He stepped closer and reached for your arm, but you quickly swatted it away. "I'm not going to stand by and watch you all destroy each other. I don't understand how you can think that this is okay?"

"I don't think this is okay, (Y/N). It's anything but okay."

"But you expect me to fall in line and take your side, no questions asked, right?"

"Well," he stood in place and dropped his shoulders, looking defeated in his own argument, "yeah I do."

You gave him a sad smile and opened the door to leave, pausing for just a moment to contemplate the loss that you were facing once you made the decision to go. "Then Steve, you really don't know me at all. It doesn't leave anything worth staying for."

He didn't try to stop you from leaving, knowing that he wouldn't win anyway. He stood silently as you left, watching you walk away and allowing sadness to overtake him. Steve sat down on the bench next to the door and held his head in his hands. "If I said I loved you would that be worth it?" he whispered to himself.

~~~

After deciding to turn away from Steve, you made the difficult decision to abandon it all; your home at the tower, your team, and your life here on Earth. It had been years since your other friend, Peter Quill, had given you the offer to join him on his travels, but maybe the offer still stood. He didn't seem like the kind of guy to hold a grudge from your choice to join the Avengers rather than the Guardians, but your judge of character was taking a big hit today, so who knew how he was going to react.

Finding Peter wasn't easy; you stood on the roof of the tower and focused in on his energy, trying to search the universe for his location. When you couldn't find him, you began to fear the worst, wondering if something had happened. But finally, there he was, at the farthest reaches that your mind could stretch; it would likely take a great deal of your energy to manipulate a portal that far out, but you were willing to risk it. You closed your eyes and felt the pull of the universe taking you from your home, and all you could do was hope that you had found the correct destination.

Steve stood silently and watched as the portal closed and your form disappeared. He didn't know if he would ever see you again, but he knew exactly where you were going and would do everything in his power to get you back and away from Peter Quill. Even if it were the last thing he would ever do.

~~~

"So, Peter, since when do you have a pet?" You materialized on his ship next to a small furry animal that looked like a raccoon but smelled like a bar and was wrapped in ammunition like a soldier.

"Holy shit!" Peter jumped from his pilot chair at the sound of your voice, startling the others enough to draw their weapons and hold you in place. Once he came back to himself and realized who you were, he ran to you and lifted you into the air in an embrace that squeezed the breath from your chest. "Guys, it's okay! This is my friend (Y/N)!" He sat you down and held you at arms length, looking at you as if you were a figment of his imagination. "What are you doing here? How long has it been? How did you get here?"

"One question at a time, and maybe I'd have the chance to answer, dumbass!"

The raccoon lowered his gun and walked up next to you, eyeing you with a skeptical look. "And exactly how the hell did you get in here? You some kinda witch or something?"

"Guys, I've known this girl forever. She's good, alright? Let's just give her some space." Peter took your hand and brought you to the front of the ship, giving you a seat next to his. "So really, what are you doing here, (Y/N)?"

"You gave me an offer to join you years ago. Is that offer still good?"

"What happened with the super friends? Not so friendly anymore?"

"Not really," you scoffed, "they're all trying to kill each other, and I won't pick sides, so I got the hell out."

He nodded in agreement, "and...how about that Rogers guy? I'm sure you pissed him off, leaving like this?"

You sat silent for a moment, imagining the reaction that Steve might be having once he realized that you were actually gone and hadn't just made an empty threat. With so much going on within the team, you hoped that he would be too distracted to feel hurt by it, but in the same vain you wanted him to feel it exquisitely for the position he had put you in.

"I don't know, really. He was the one pushing me to choose, so maybe he's happy I'm gone?"

Peter laughed out loud for a few seconds, then sat quietly when the laughter faded, looking at the stars before him. "(Y/N), I guarantee you that he's not happy about it."

"What is that supposed to mean?" His comment held your interest, not because it was Steve being discussed, but because you wanted to know how Peter would know anything about Rogers when they were light years apart, both literally and figuratively.

When he saw the confusion in your eyes, he straightened his posture in his chair and looked at you intently. "Wait...wait you're serious? You don't know?"

"Dammit, Peter, know what?"

"(Y/N), think about it." He leaned forward and took your hands in his, giving a slight squeeze and watching them as his thumbs gently rubbed over your warm skin. "There's a reason why he and I need to be so far apart. He never even so much as crosses my mind anymore, but I'd bet you anything that I'm on his at this very moment. The man is in love with you, (Y/N). Didn't you know that?"

Your mouth hung agape at the words, genuinely surprising you. "You can't be serious."

"Babe, do I look like I'm joking?"

"Then wait, why would he be thinking of you..." your voice trailed off as your mind raced. You looked at the floor and pulled your hands away from his. "Peter, I didn't know, I swear. If I had I wouldn't have come here. I should...I should go." You stood and moved back towards where you had entered the ship and prepared to create your path back to Earth.

"You don't have to go. I'm a big boy, I can't keep it in my pants!" He laughed at the joke, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. "Really, you don't have to go." His laugh died down when he realized that what he was saying was making no difference. He moved to stand close to you, speaking quietly for only you to hear. "But I won't try to persuade you. You've already got one man trying to do that, you sure as hell don't need two."

You put your hand on his cheek and kissed the other softly, "thanks, Quill. You're a good friend."

"Only ever a friend."

"I'm sorry," you sighed, "I really am." You stepped back and away from him so you could begin your journey back home. You had no idea how you would approach Steve and how you would deal with the war that was raging within your team, but you knew that it was the right place to be.

~~~

When you returned to Earth from your trip across the universe, you landed in the center of Steve's room, a bit off from your intended target. "Shit, this isn't mine," you mumbled, hurrying to look around and see if he was in there. This may have been your lucky day; you didn't see or hear him, so you tip toed towards the door to get out before he had the chance to return.

"(Y/N)?"

Dammit, so close.

"I'm sorry, Steve, I-"

"(Y/N)?" he asked again. You crept over to the side of his bed and looked down to see him asleep, saying your name from his slumber. Now you were unbelievably uncomfortable and needed to make your escape immediately.

"(Y/N)? What are you doing here?" Steve was waking and sitting up now, rubbing his eyes and squinting in the dark to see you and make sure you were actually there, rather than just in his dream state. "Are you really here?"

"Yeah, I'm here," you whispered.

"I wasn't sure if you would ever come back." Steve swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat facing away from you, resting his arms on his legs and his hands clasped together tightly. "It's been almost a month."

"A month?" you gasped, but quickly regained your senses as you remembered that your cosmic manipulations and travels function within in a different time continuum and it doesn't pass the same for you. It felt like you had been gone no more than a day at best. "If it's been a month, then what's the status of the team now?"

"Tense, but not as tense as when you left." He stood up and grabbed a nearby t-shirt. You couldn't help but stare as the cotton slid slowly over the muscles of his chest and abdomen, fitting snugly over them when he released it. "How's our friend, Mr. Quill? I assume that's where you went, am I right?"

"Our friend?" you snickered.

"Is he still hanging out with that rodent and the giant tree?"

"Boy, Rogers, if I didn't know better, it would sound like you were jealous. Either that or you're being an ass for no good reason." You raised your hands in front of you, motioning your frustration with him and began to move towards the door. "We should talk when you're ready to do so in a civilized manner."

"I love you," he blurted out, with no warning and no hesitation, desperate for anything that might keep you there.

You stopped in your tracks, but refused to turn around. "I know," you said as you reached out and took the handle of the door in your hand, but didn't move it to leave just yet. "I haven't changed my mind; I still won't be a part of your fight and I won't take sides. Until that's over, it's not the right time."

"Will you wait for me?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly.

You didn't have an answer for him, not yet, so you left without giving him one.